STILL DON'T OWN IT.
And plus, this is a new series that gives the WWE and NXT's brightest upcoming superstars a chance to shine! (So yeah, you probably won't be see Daniel Bryan or John Cena around a lot, and when you do, it's only for a squash match.)
WWE Shotgun 1
Tyson Kidd vs Damien Sandow- This is a big treat for all the fans out there, As Damien Sandow looks to get out of his slump.
Fandango, Brodus Clay, Curtis Axel and Ryback vs. Sin Cara, Zack Ryder, Santino Marella and Tensai- Can Fandango trust his odd ball team long enough to win the match?
Main Event: Kofi Kingston vs Heath Slater- Let's face it, Does Slater even STAND a chance?
Tyson Kidd vs Damien Sandow
(And no, there are no commentators, consider this...a pre RAW and SmackDqon show.)
Hallelujah by CFO$
Damien Sandow comes out to the boos of many people, Sandow obviously shrugs off the jeers of the fans, he enters the ring, not caring
Tyson Kidd is the next to come out, to very mild cheering, he's smiling, slapping the hands of the kids and other fans everywhere, it is obvious that he is a fan favorite with the kids. He too, gets in the ring.
DING, DING, DING!
Damien Sandow and Tyson Kidd hook up for the coller and elbow tie up, no one gets the upperhand, Damien Sandow dodges a punch, and gets a punch of his own, Sandow follows that up with a few more punches, he attempts a neckbreaker, but Tyson Kidd dodges and gets in a sweet lookin' kamikaze kick!, Cover, 1, 2, 3! NO! That's a 2!
Tyson Kidd puts Damien Sandow in a rest hold, Sandow struggles, but finds a way out of the hold, with his own rest hold, this is some very old fashioned wrestling here, Wait a minute, a change in movement, Kidd puts Sandow in a fisherman's suplex, he might have just won it! 1, 2 and, NO!
Damien Sandow is in trouble here, but when Tyson Kidd put Damien Sandow in the Dungeon Lock, and surprisingly missed, Tyson Kidd had the momentum put out, Sandow seizes the oppertunity for a chance to do his Cueteo Abequet (or Elbow of Disdain in Latin) and it hit Tyson Kidd hard!, The cover, the pin...but not the win!
By now, Sandow has had enough, and decides to finish him off with the Terminus, which he does, but then, he brags about this being way too easy and puts his blame in John Cena for his fall from grace! (no shoot comments) But then, he gets rolled up!, Small package! 1! 2! 3! Tyson Kidd has done it! He has pinned Damien Sandow!, He gets the hell out of here so he doesn't get any payback, Sandow is clearly pissed, he demands the mic.
"SILENCE!, SILENCE!...He did not win!, I was FLUKED!, I'll have you know that this is clearly unexceptable! I WANT A LAWYER OVER HERE!"
He starts to throw a bit of a temper tantrum, which is only stopped when Santino's theme hits. The crowd pops, Ryder, Cara and Tensai follow alongside, Sandow gets the hell out of here so they get can get to the next match.
Santino Marella, Zack Ryder, Sin Cara and Tensai (Or The High Flyin' Hip Hoppin' Cobra Broskis) vs Fandango, Brodus Clay, Ryback and Curtis Axel (Or, at least half of the 4 deadly sins)
The other team comes out to a very negative response, Brodus Clay is pissed off and shouts some abuse to the crowd, Curtis smiles at the site of this, Fandango doesn't care because he has Summer Rae by his side. (who is wearing a very lovely yellow dress) And Ryback...is...well... being Ryback...they enter, the match begins.
DING, DING, DING!
Fandango starts for his team while Zack Ryder starts for his, Zack Ryder pumps his fist up, but Fandango goes on the attack, stomping him at the right time, and basically giving him no offense whatsoever, Fandango tags to Ryback and things just get worse from here, Ryback pummels poor Ryder with a devastating backbreaker, Ryder needs a tag here!, And he tries desperatly to get one but...BAM! Meathook Clothesline!
1! 2! NO! Ryder tries to scram out of this, and gets a glimmer of hope when Ryback misses big time with a clothesline, leaving Ryder to clothesline Tensai, Tensai goes at it with Ryback with punch after punch after punch!
Tensai gives him a whopping uppercut, which leads Ryback to tag in Brodus Clay, the two former friends turned foes stare at each other, They get in a hillarious pose off, Tensai (not surprisingly) wins, Tensai and gets Brodus with a Angle Plex! Cover, 1, 2, Three! No!
Tensai tags out to Sin Cara, Sin Cara gets Brodus Clay with a hurricanrana, he slows down the big man with kick after kick after kick after kick after kick, Brodus Clay gets a chance to get some momemtum back with a botched kick, Clay tags in Curtis Axel who takes the chance to execute his Better Than Perfect Plex, little did he know that Sin Cara tagged in Santino Marella at the last second, Axel looks proud of himself, he thinks he's won, until the referee tells him that Santino Marella had just been tagged...
COBRA! THE COBRA STRIKES AGAIN!, 1, 2, 3, NO! Fandango seizes the oppertunity! Axel tags in to Fandango and Fandango destroys Santino Marella, just like when this match started! Santino Marella gets a chance to shine when Fandango misses his Complete Shot, He goes into his MMA (Marella Martial Arts) movement and takes him down with the hiptoss, which leads into a senton splash...which he misses, hillariously...
Fandango goes up the top rope, as Santino Marella tags in Zack Ryder, Zack Ryder is scared...but then...Fandango jumps, thinking that this is Santino Marella...AND RYDER PUTS FANDANGO IN A ROUGH RYDER! WE HAVE A COVER, 1! 2! 3! ZACK RYDER HAS DONE IT! HE'S PINNED THE MAN WHO BEAT CHRIS JERICHO AT WRESTLEMANIA 29! OH MY GOD!
Zack Ryder can't believe it, he has tears in his eyes, for ONCE, he has ACTULLY won! Santino, Tensai and Cara hug him in joy!
Meanwhile, Ryback looks upset, he thinks to himself "Damn, I have REALLY fallen off the map." Fandango looks confused, he doesn't know what happened, Ryback is pissed off, Axel and Brodus Clay comfort Ryback, Ryback shoves Axel away and walks off, leading them to wonder what the hell just happened?
Xavier Woods vs The Miz in a pie eating contest
We go backstage where we see Cody Rhodes and Goldust hosting a pie eating contest, The Miz looks confused as heck, While Xavier looks excited and pumped up to be eating pies!
"Alright, so here's the rules, you have as about as much time as it take for Cesaro here to yodel."
"I'll have you know that this was NOT in my contract."
"Yodel or else."
"Ugh, *yodeling*"
"And, BEGIN!"
The Miz and Xavier Woods begin devouring up their pies, Xavier takes the upperhand as The Miz gets a bit seasick.
"*gulp*"
The Miz starts getting tummy cramps which have him squirring around a little, meanwhile Xavier Woods is on fire, 20 pies to 1, Cesaro decides to leave and get a drink of water, which means...
"TIME'S UP! *Checks on The Miz* Tsk, Tsk, Looks like someone wasn't very hungry. *Checks on Xavier* While Xavier went and conquered, So, YOU WIN!"
"Awesome man! *high fives Cody and Goldy*"
Meanwhile The Miz doesn't look so good...infact, he looks sick. Xavier and Goldy check up on him, The Miz then asks what the ingrediants for the pie were?
"Ingrediants? Oh, we used apples, cinnamon, frosted yogurt, some belly button lint, some yellow and black fingerpaint, dog poop and the best ingrediant...remains of Katie Vick."
The Miz then gets sick, he tries to ask for a bucket, but it's too late as he then pukes all over Goldy as Cody Rhodes decides to get the hell out of here before he starts puking all over him.
Kofi Kingston vs Heath Slater
Meanwhile in the ring, the final match of the night is just about to begin, Slater looks confident as ever (despite the fact he NEVER WINS) and then there's Kofi Kingston, smiling and whatnot, but before the match can start, a new figure appears, wait a minute, that's not a new figure, that's Ezekiel Jackson! What's he doing here? Ezekiel asks if he and Kofi could speak, Kofi seems confused, Ezekiel starts to speak but then...
WAM! He brutally attacks Kofi Kingston much to the crowd's shock! He destroys Kofi Kingston, and everyone seems concered and worried for Kofi Kingston, except for 3MB, who call it part of their plan. Ezekiel then puts Kofi Kingston in the Torture Rack, Kofi screams, begging for mercy!, Slater then calls for the bell and puts one foot on Kofi Kingston.
Wait a minute, did this match even start? Who cares? The referee has no clue of WHAT'S going on as Jinder Mahal and Drew McIntyre were distracting him anyway! He counts the pin! 1! 2! 3!
Heath Slater has beaten Kofi Kingston thanks to the help of Ezekiel Jackson! 3MB celebrate FINALLY picking up a win after all these days of trying! Ezekiel Jackson hugs his new found friends, Has Ezekiel Jackson joined forces with the 3MB? We'll see you next time here on WWE Shotgun!
Welp, There you have it, The low card's very own B Show's first episode! And things are heatin' up!
Next time:
Drew McIntyre will take on a promising rookie in Enzo Amore.
Los Matadores will face off against a new team with Alex Riley and...Adam Rose?
And for one night only, The return of Val Venis against Ryback!
Until then, Read and review my little wrestling fans everywhere!
P.S: Fandango would be greed, as he always wants more of the spot light, Brodus Clay is anger for BOBVLIOUS, I mean, OBVIOUS reasons. (damn it Bo Dallas) Curtis Axel would be pride cause...well? He acts like he's better than perfect, and Ryback is envy because he wants what the others have. (And as long as he's stuck here...He probably won't get it.