A/N: Well I was going to have this as a second chapter to 'screaming
memories'.. but I decided that it kindof is its own little story..... but
it is basically a continueing of zechs' raging thoughts that happened in
'screaming memories' soo if you wish to understand further the
happenings... read 'screaming memories'
disclaimer: okay... you know the drill
roses are red, violets are blue
I dont own, so you dont sue.
Kira:okay okay... now as if you cant tell... I love zechs... and I, even though I'm jealouse of her. love noin too, and the relashionship between the two.. so what happens when zechs has to deal with the death of the woman he loves. this is zechs' POV. so I thought that I might be able to catch a bit of his thoughts in this story. I know he is an extremely deep character. thats why I like him. anyway. on with another dimented tale by me. 'the dimented author' Kira!!!
" More Screaming Memories "
Zechs walked along the abandoned street, the stones crushing benieth his boots. Memories still screaming through his mind.
'How could I have alowed myself to faulter the way I did, I let so many chances of 'life' pass through my hand. It was like a fragment of a breeze that I wanted within my grasp, but it still flowed...ever so gently. Right through my fingertips! I never knew... that she was the only hold on mercy that I could reach.'
Zechs passed along the port side of the small town. He looked to his left out to the beautiful mystery of the lake. Small fishing boats were cast along the shoreline. And the once bustleing mainstreet shops were to the right. Now as silent as the lake itself, all who lived there...still asleep. Lake Victoria... Such a place had built so many of the memories in zechs mind, they far outweighed any he had of his past in the peaceful sank kingdom.
'This is where it all began.....so.....this should be where it all ends.....'
The breeze was slightly coming from the south west. It smelled of the ocean... a mere distance away. The color of the sky was jadelike, with a golden hue where the sun would be rising soon. The warmth already evident in the air, the summer was at its peak now.
Zechs pulled his hair back away from his shoulders tying it in a tail behind him. It had grown so long and was barely cared for since she'd left his world completely.
'Noin, how could you have left me alone here, you know I cant do this on my own. I am weak and my bloody past is strong. You took the easy way and left me.'
He thought of the sweet taste of her lips when the rarity occured that he kissed her. He was always afraid of loving her, or anyone, but esspecially her. Because she had been his stronghold for so long that he didnt want to loose her strengths by scaring her away. He had lost too many people but he never admitted the pain.
'Maybe if I had admitted to the pain, she would still be here. Or maybe ...... maybe...' He stopped short and starred out at the docks onto the lake, the base was just ahead and there right in front of the edge of the lake was the tree... the tree they sat under when he finally admitted that she was the only thing that made him feel he belonged.
'This is where it all began.' he thought. and started to walk silently to the edge of the clear water. As he approached the edge. a breeze picked up lifting his bangs and tossling them on the breeze.
"It was a year ago today......" He said aloud. "When they took you away from me. Why does military fear have to take over." he said almost spatting as the poison like words left his throat.
"They were to scared to save you.... they didnt have faith..." Zechs narrowed his eyes to the horizon. "They were to weak... but I know you were strong." Zechs closed his eyes and images flooded his mind. memories that had burned in his soul for so long. How could he let love enter his heart when teh pain was far to strong from loosing the person he loved most..........
.........flashback.........
"Please zechs.... you have to stop this threat they'll militarize and shatter the peacecraft dream" the frail voice spoke painfully to the man that she loved. Noins body was skin and bones even though the recent trauma had left her covered in fear and sweat. She had the sense about her to worry about the man that she loved with all her heart and soul.
"Noin.. you just hang on... okay... just get your strength back.. and then together.. all of us.... we'll go back together and save relena's dream. please lucrietzia hang on.... they'll have you to a medical facillity where you can get proper treatment soon. just hang on until the rebels alow us to leave" Zechs voice almost shudderrd. Noin could see in his eyes the pure fear he had for her.
"Dont you worry.... pleace my prince dont you worry.... you have to allow your dream to come to a realization now and our legacccy now 'can' live on. think of it we have a miricle... you know that. Because you've loved me we have that to remember. theres nothing that can steal that from our souls... even after death I'll love you... my dear price milly-chan.." She tried to crack a smirk when she saw a slight blush on the blond knights face she always did have a power over him. She enjoyed knowing that she had won his heart and soul in a fair game of love. She had never been as happy until he admitted to her that he loved her.
"Zechs.. please youre the only one left thats strong enough..." Her voice faded again. it would be the last time she spoke in her strong pure voice ever. anything left would be a jumble of tears and pain that filtered from her throat... she mouthed the words... "I love you.....
watashi ai anata watashi wa aisuru.*" Her breathing slightly evened as she didnt strain to speak and she closed her eyes to rest for a bit. Zechs pulled away from the tight grasp of her hand to find the man in charge.
"You KNOW!!! damn well I'm not going to let her die... so you shinseiji** had better get on the job and get her to a proper hospital fast!!!" Zechs shouted to teh leader of the small rebellion. "Please.." he almost moaned desperately.. "She's all I have to love... I cant loose her..."
.........end flashback........
Zechs eyes surged open, the pain and frustration still showing in them as fresh as the day it happened. 'Why did you give up so easily... you were always a fighter... so why....?' again the memories flooded into his heart.
~end of part one~
* Means I love you my belovid in japanese
** Bastard in japanese
KIRA: Okay. Okay! I know I left you in a cliffy huh? well what happened to noin, is what you're wondering. and what is going to hapen to zechs..... well if I get a few reviews you will all find out. I'll put up the next part if I get a few reviews.! that will tell me if this dimented author is even wanted at all. *grumbles is selfish saddness* I dont feel needed at all... ohh well. I still love my milly-chan!!! so please R&R and for the fun of it, voice your opinions as to what you think is going to happen. I like to find out where the reading is leading you all so far. okay, Arigato, ja mata ne, Kira
disclaimer: okay... you know the drill
roses are red, violets are blue
I dont own, so you dont sue.
Kira:okay okay... now as if you cant tell... I love zechs... and I, even though I'm jealouse of her. love noin too, and the relashionship between the two.. so what happens when zechs has to deal with the death of the woman he loves. this is zechs' POV. so I thought that I might be able to catch a bit of his thoughts in this story. I know he is an extremely deep character. thats why I like him. anyway. on with another dimented tale by me. 'the dimented author' Kira!!!
" More Screaming Memories "
Zechs walked along the abandoned street, the stones crushing benieth his boots. Memories still screaming through his mind.
'How could I have alowed myself to faulter the way I did, I let so many chances of 'life' pass through my hand. It was like a fragment of a breeze that I wanted within my grasp, but it still flowed...ever so gently. Right through my fingertips! I never knew... that she was the only hold on mercy that I could reach.'
Zechs passed along the port side of the small town. He looked to his left out to the beautiful mystery of the lake. Small fishing boats were cast along the shoreline. And the once bustleing mainstreet shops were to the right. Now as silent as the lake itself, all who lived there...still asleep. Lake Victoria... Such a place had built so many of the memories in zechs mind, they far outweighed any he had of his past in the peaceful sank kingdom.
'This is where it all began.....so.....this should be where it all ends.....'
The breeze was slightly coming from the south west. It smelled of the ocean... a mere distance away. The color of the sky was jadelike, with a golden hue where the sun would be rising soon. The warmth already evident in the air, the summer was at its peak now.
Zechs pulled his hair back away from his shoulders tying it in a tail behind him. It had grown so long and was barely cared for since she'd left his world completely.
'Noin, how could you have left me alone here, you know I cant do this on my own. I am weak and my bloody past is strong. You took the easy way and left me.'
He thought of the sweet taste of her lips when the rarity occured that he kissed her. He was always afraid of loving her, or anyone, but esspecially her. Because she had been his stronghold for so long that he didnt want to loose her strengths by scaring her away. He had lost too many people but he never admitted the pain.
'Maybe if I had admitted to the pain, she would still be here. Or maybe ...... maybe...' He stopped short and starred out at the docks onto the lake, the base was just ahead and there right in front of the edge of the lake was the tree... the tree they sat under when he finally admitted that she was the only thing that made him feel he belonged.
'This is where it all began.' he thought. and started to walk silently to the edge of the clear water. As he approached the edge. a breeze picked up lifting his bangs and tossling them on the breeze.
"It was a year ago today......" He said aloud. "When they took you away from me. Why does military fear have to take over." he said almost spatting as the poison like words left his throat.
"They were to scared to save you.... they didnt have faith..." Zechs narrowed his eyes to the horizon. "They were to weak... but I know you were strong." Zechs closed his eyes and images flooded his mind. memories that had burned in his soul for so long. How could he let love enter his heart when teh pain was far to strong from loosing the person he loved most..........
.........flashback.........
"Please zechs.... you have to stop this threat they'll militarize and shatter the peacecraft dream" the frail voice spoke painfully to the man that she loved. Noins body was skin and bones even though the recent trauma had left her covered in fear and sweat. She had the sense about her to worry about the man that she loved with all her heart and soul.
"Noin.. you just hang on... okay... just get your strength back.. and then together.. all of us.... we'll go back together and save relena's dream. please lucrietzia hang on.... they'll have you to a medical facillity where you can get proper treatment soon. just hang on until the rebels alow us to leave" Zechs voice almost shudderrd. Noin could see in his eyes the pure fear he had for her.
"Dont you worry.... pleace my prince dont you worry.... you have to allow your dream to come to a realization now and our legacccy now 'can' live on. think of it we have a miricle... you know that. Because you've loved me we have that to remember. theres nothing that can steal that from our souls... even after death I'll love you... my dear price milly-chan.." She tried to crack a smirk when she saw a slight blush on the blond knights face she always did have a power over him. She enjoyed knowing that she had won his heart and soul in a fair game of love. She had never been as happy until he admitted to her that he loved her.
"Zechs.. please youre the only one left thats strong enough..." Her voice faded again. it would be the last time she spoke in her strong pure voice ever. anything left would be a jumble of tears and pain that filtered from her throat... she mouthed the words... "I love you.....
watashi ai anata watashi wa aisuru.*" Her breathing slightly evened as she didnt strain to speak and she closed her eyes to rest for a bit. Zechs pulled away from the tight grasp of her hand to find the man in charge.
"You KNOW!!! damn well I'm not going to let her die... so you shinseiji** had better get on the job and get her to a proper hospital fast!!!" Zechs shouted to teh leader of the small rebellion. "Please.." he almost moaned desperately.. "She's all I have to love... I cant loose her..."
.........end flashback........
Zechs eyes surged open, the pain and frustration still showing in them as fresh as the day it happened. 'Why did you give up so easily... you were always a fighter... so why....?' again the memories flooded into his heart.
~end of part one~
* Means I love you my belovid in japanese
** Bastard in japanese
KIRA: Okay. Okay! I know I left you in a cliffy huh? well what happened to noin, is what you're wondering. and what is going to hapen to zechs..... well if I get a few reviews you will all find out. I'll put up the next part if I get a few reviews.! that will tell me if this dimented author is even wanted at all. *grumbles is selfish saddness* I dont feel needed at all... ohh well. I still love my milly-chan!!! so please R&R and for the fun of it, voice your opinions as to what you think is going to happen. I like to find out where the reading is leading you all so far. okay, Arigato, ja mata ne, Kira