Disclaimer: I don't own Rent
I'm so cold. I can hardly move. I can no longer breathe on my own. My throat hurts so bad that I feel like I'm going to cry. I am so weak. I just want the pain to stop. It hurts so bad.
Everyone is here. Collins is trying not to cry. He wants to pretend it isn't the end. We both know that I am not much long for the Earth. I want to reassure him that my pain will soon be over but there are two problems. First I know that once my pain stops his will start. Second I can't talk.
Roger is angry. You can tell he thinks it's unfair what's happening and it is. My eyes are so dry. Collins seems to know because the next thing I know I feel a cool washcloth on my eyes. It's such a relief. I feel the life fade out of me. There is a mere second of darkness and then I see light and no more pain.
They are trying desperately to revive me but I have no more life in me. I feel the weight of illness fade away. It was a huge relief. The gates of heaven open to me. It's beautiful and precious. I am greeted with love. I haven't felt this way in a long time but it isn't perfect.
It is a place that has everything I love. It has warmth. It has love. It had compassion but it didn't have Collins. He wasn't there. Without him I feel lonely. I feel a little empty without him.
I kind of feel the way I did a long time ago. I look down and I see my love crying.
"He'll be with you soon," my Father told me.
"I know," I said, "But it will seem like forever."
"No it won't," He said.
"I'm sorry about all the times I let you down," I told Him.
"You never let me down," He said.
One hour passed. Two hours passed. On the 3rd hour I saw another light. It shone so brightly. In a split second I saw Collins again. Finally heaven was perfect and as I held out a hand to welcome him into heaven I finally felt complete. Love lives on forever and now I will never lose him again.