A.N. I would like to point out that I don't want anyone to take offense to this. Of course, all (or at least most) of us are guilty of this at some point. I just wanted to address it because I feel things need to change. It's intended as a humor piece so no hard feelings. Also, it's the boys saying it so you can't get mad.

~ CherryCokesandWinterSmokes

Gordie Lachance had just climbed into the tree house. He couldn't take it anymore. "Guys, I can't sit back and watch this happen anymore. As a writer, I have to do something!"

"Whaddaya mean, Gordo?" Chris asked.

"You guys have been reading those stories I told you to read, right?"

"Yeah! I totally see what you mean Gordie. Uh... What's that word you used again? They're totally...?" Teddy asked.

"Clichéd. They've become totally clichéd," Gordie said with finality.

...

"Do you have any complaints, Chris?" Gordie asked.

Chris pondered this for a moment until his face lit up in fury. "Actually, yeah, I do!" Chris smacked his fist against the card table. "I don't understand why all of these people think that I only own white t-shirts and jeans and black Converse. I have other clothes, for Christ's sake." Chris gestured to his own outfit as if to prove a point, considering he was wearing nothing of the sort.

"Yeah Chris! Let out your feelings!" Teddy cheered.

"And every single god damn story has me falling in love with some girl. It's always a girl. Sometimes they're a girl on the View who hates me. Sometimes it's a girl whose dad treats her like how my dad treats me. Sometimes it's some chick, who I've known all my life, and we're best friends and we fall in love."

"Why can't any girls fall for us? I'm clearly much sexier than Chris," Teddy crooned into the mirror he was holding.

"Or me," Gordie chimed in.

"Hey, me too!" Vern squeaked out like a child.

Teddy let loose his classic laugh. "Verno, like anyone could ever have the hots for you."

...

"Shut up, Teddy. And that's what's wrong with these things!" Vern started in on his speech.

"I'm tired of everyone thinking of me as just 'the fat kid.' I'm not just 'the fat kid.' One day I'm gonna look better than all of you and then all these writers will be sorry, haha!" Teddy rolled his eyes at Vern's impassioned speech.

"And I don't only like cherry PEZ either. I eat all kinds of candy. I like Chuckles and Root Beer Barrels and Sugar Daddy Pops. Coconut Bars and Walnettos and... hey, I'll catch you guys later," Vern said while running out, mouth watering and pennies jingling in his pocket.

"If he doesn't stop running for candy, he will always be the fat kid. Eee eee eeeh,"Teddy cackled.

...

"What about you, Gordie?"

"Why does everyone have to describe me as doe-eyed? Do I really look like that much of a child? Or woodland creature?"

"Oh, Gordie. You're just adorable, that's all," Chris smiled sweetly.

"Well, these writers were right about something," Teddy rolled his eyes and looked away. "Even if that's a little overdone too," he added.

"I'm not always shy and not confident around girls, either. As a matter of fact, it would be nice if an OC liked me once in a while."

"Well, Gordie, I see how much you care about us as a couple. No more LaChambers for you," Chris said in a mock-serious tone.

...

"Now I know none of you are expecting this from me... but I think sometimes another guy should be put in instead of a girl. You know, to change things up."

Chris and Gordie looked at Teddy incredulously.

"What? I like a little variety in my life."

"And I hate when they copy from our adventure word for word! They weren't there! They didn't create the damn thing!" Teddy lit a cigarette and smoked it angrily.

"I really hope all of these writers learn a lesson from us," Gordie said with finality.