Jowee and Mari:
Last moments
Jowee and Mari:
Last moments
The end...
The end has come...
The end has come...
These words, ominous and foreboding, played like a skipping tape recorder in Mari's head. She tried to push them away, to seek shelter behind her memories and thoughts, but every single time, they came back..
The end...
The end has come...
She stood upon a sandy beach, looking out to the blazing sunset. It's twin was upon the sparkling sea, moving toward the horizon like it's sibling, though rippling as though to stand out. They made their way to their meeting at the ends of the Earth, oblivious to the inevitable: They would never rise again.
For the first time, the world seemed to have a voice. It spoke through the ocean. The gulls. It spoke in sad tones, weeping without tears like she was. It seemed more alive than ever, more beautiful. She cursed herself for not seeing how wonderful it's existence was, for failing to realize the true value of life itself.
She searched her feelings. Her emotions. Her memories. She hoped for a barrier. A wind to take her fear away. Nothing helped...It hurt. She wanted it to stop. She didn't want it to end this way.
And fear brought something terrible out within her, for it was Wilfre's drive for his actions. She thought of what she had seen. What it meant. The boy.
The boy...
Her darker conscious was hissing, growling, quite unhappy with the situation. A million lives...The world...Her village....Heather...Jowee...all for a single child.
One. Child.
It wasn't fair...it wasn't fair...
Did you care for us? She asked in her head, almost angrily. What are we, O'father? Why have we come to be? Why, if we were destined to go away...?
Anger. Fear. Cowardice.
No...
She cared for this child. Cared for him, because no matter what Wilfre had told her, and what she had seen, he was one of them. Part of her family. Her heart was stronger. Anger and fear subsided, and suddenly she was herself. She bowed her head in defeat, again, waiting.
Another long stretch of time. She wanted to tear herself apart by now. Why can't it all end now? Now, so she would not have to endure another painful minute of regret and self loathing.
And yet she yearned for more time. She yearned for at least another day here on Earth. Another day in her village. One more day of being home.
...But there was no point. She knew the truth: she was a mere illusion. A figment. How could she, or anyone else, go on knowing that they were a mere memory? After all, dreams only lasted a night...
I do love you, child. Said a voice from above. I love you for all that you have done. Trust me, and let it pass...there will be no pain.
Creator...
"Mari...?"
Mari's ears twitched, breaking away from her thoughts. She looked back over her shoulder and, seeing who it was, gave a sad smile.
"Hey, Jowee..." She said. Her voice sounded unusually loud after the seemingly perpetual silence.
Though Jowee usually asked if his company was desired, he somehow knew that this time he was of no disturbance to Mari. Smiling back, he approached her, coming to a stop by her side. His gaze traveled from Mari to the water's surface, and he lost himself in his thoughts as he watched the sun's reflection ripple upon the sea.
Comfort came with Jowee's company. She was given a way to live through this. Closing her eyes, Mari could pretend that this was just another day in the past. Another golden day with her best friend and love of her life.
Jowee had become a warrior, but in Mari's eyes, he would always be that care tossing kid...
His smile...his voice...his contagious cheerfulness and energy...
All of the sudden, her memories pulled her into a tight embrace, finally offering the comfort she had been longing for all this time...
...
She could see a younger Jowee, laughing, barking as he rolled around in the sand, bounding around her like a puppy in a game of tag. "Catch me if you can!" he was saying...
....
Now he was a young teenager, talking to her at an incomprehensible speed. His eyes were alive with excitement. He had definitely made quite the discovery, but she had no idea what this discovery could be, nor did she have the faintest idea of what he was saying. She finally laughed, and he became silent, tilting his head in confusion...
....
She was angry, and by now, she could not remember why. It simply made her feel better to scream at the poor raposa boy, who's raised eyebrow made it clear that he took nothing she was saying very seriously, nor did he understand it. He merely sat silently, allowing her to vent herself upon him. When she finally paused to catch her breath, she noticed that big, goofy grin Jowee had been holding back was spreading on his face. Whether it was at something she said or her expression, she did not know. But he was laughing. And in that moment, she realized that she was laughing too...
...
She could no longer tell if the liquid that was pouring down her face was rain or her own tears. Never in her life had she felt such terrible grief. Her father was gone, and she was left feeling alone and completely unprepared. She buried her face into her friend's chest, and he held her close, whispering in her ear, telling her that it was going to be alright, that he was there for her...
...
And tears, so much like those she had shed then, came. In the past, she felt she could see her future. She saw happiness. Sadness. Triumphs. Failures....Jowee...
Now, that was impossible. In a fraction of a second, it was gone. There was no future.
She felt two arms pull her into a warm embrace, swaying her gently from side to side.
"Don't cry..." Jowee whispered, running a paw from her head down to her back, swaying her gently from side to side.
"Jowee...I...I'm sorry. For everything."
"Shh..."
"I didn't mean to hurt anyone...I just thought I..."
"It doesn't matter. It never did...I just want to be with you....one last time."
Mari moved into Jowee's embrace, butterflies rising in her stomach. He spoke to her with a tenderness he'd never used before. It soothed her, yet it made her nervous. She could feel a warm blush rising to her cheeks.
It took some time, but she eventually relaxed, closing her eyes. If she was to go, this was the best way to do so. Her fear subsided, though not completely. With him, she felt secure. Safe. For the first time in months, she felt everything was going to be OK...
...
Jowee stood firmly, strong, determined to keep a straight face. He kept his gaze fixed on the horizon, for he was sure he could feel tears forming in his eyes. The sun was nearly out of sight, leaving a sky with an orange and violet hue, which blended perfectly with the growing darkness of the night. It wouldn't be much longer now.
He wanted to call it back . Wanted to cry, even. But he drew his strength, all of it, and kept his emotions inside of him. If it was all about him, perhaps he would have fallen into the sand, and wept.
But it wasn't. This was Mari too. He hoped that if he remained-at least visibly-unafraid, then she would be as well. And then she as well as himself could possess the courage to let what had to be, come to be. So he held her as tightly as he could, breathing slowly and inaudibly so that she would not hear his fear in his trembling breath.
What should have hit him minutes ago did. Again came those words. The three words he should have said a long time ago. They were back, and driving him crazy. He hated them. Hated them, because they were so hard to say. And so hard to take in. Was he afraid of them?
No...maybe it wasn't the words he was afraid of.
Maybe the reason he had not confessed for so long was their friendship. Would things change if they became more? He hadn't wanted them to...being friends with Mari was one thing he treasured more than anything. Things were wonderful as they were...had been...but yet he still wanted something more. It was the strangest thing...
But now he had nothing to lose. There weren't going to be consequences anymore: there was nothing left. It was no longer matter of now or later... it was now or never.
"Mari..." He said nervously. "...I...do..do you remember the day the ship left?"
Mari furrowed her brow. Dumb question. "Of course I do. How could I ever forget?" she said.
"And what we talked about...do you remember that, too?"
Now that was something that she remembered very vaguely. She had to think hard. She searched the past. Her memories of that day.
Yes...she remembered that much, at least....
.....
"You didn't have to stay, Jowee."
"I know."
"You really should have gone..." Mari said, turning to him. After Jowee gave her a puzzled look, she said, rather quickly, "You know what I mean! You might not get a chance like that again..."
Jowee sighed. "I...this is kinda creepy, but I don't think I care. It is," He said, stopping Mari before she could speak. "because I want it. Really bad. You know I honestly do. But then...I don't know...I just turned around . Just walked away. Wasn't that hard, really..."
Mari stared at him . It was hard to understand what he had just said. Was he saying...he wanted it, yet he didn't?
No. No, that made no sense...
"Well...do you know what made you come back?"
Jowee furrowed his brow, thinking hard. He thought he knew...No. He did. Perhaps he just didn't believe it... perhaps he could call it more of a guess...or maybe he just didn't understand...
So he knew...yet he didn't....? Now he was confused. "I...I don't know...I really don't...I just thought...of you."
Butterflies began fluttering in Mari's belly. Because of her?
"...M-me?" Mari said, feeling heat rising on her face.
"Yeah. That I'm sure of..." He said, looking at her. He smiled. "...I'm glad I came back ."
Mari felt a sudden, gushing affection for the boy right then. Of all things, it was her that made him come back. This, for some reason, meant so much to her. She hugged him, giving a sigh. "So am I..."
Jowee gave a start, blushing. He recovered quickly however, and embraced her, feeling a new, powerful kind of affection for Mari.
"...Jowee?" Mari said.
"Yeah?"
"You know you're stuck now, right? I'm not going to let you leave again. Ever."
Jowee laughed. "Yeah, I know. Don't worry: I wasn't planning on going anywhere for a long time anyway..."
......
The memory brought her happiness...and this day almost mirrored it. Jowee's embrace...the sand in her toes...the hushing of the ocean...she could have been living it all over again. She was so immersed, she almost forgot Jowee's question. Giving her head a mental shake, she said, "Yes...Yes,I remember. Why?"
"Well...I kinda lied..."
After a pause, Mari backed away from him, looking puzzled. "What do you mean?"
Jowee rubbed the back of his neck, trying to find the words with which he could explain in a way Mari could understand. "Er...well...I'm not sure if I can exactly call it lying...I kinda knew...but I spent a bit trying to find out exactly what I knew..."
Mari still looked very confused.
"Ah...not the point..." Jowee said, shaking his head. "What matters is, I know now...and I've known it for a long time. I know why I came back...and why I feel so...crazy, about you..."
Now she didn't just have butterflies. She had jellyfish. "J-Jowee...are you saying...A-Ah!"
"What?" Jowee asked, looking around. He froze as he heard himself speak. His voice seemed distant...it echoed, almost eerily, and almost like they were standing in a large, empty room.
Mari watched in horror as Jowee drifted back and forth between existence and the non. She couldn't believe it. Couldn't believe it, though she had been anticipating it. It was happening.
Jowee seemed to calm down, going from fearful to sad. "...It's time..."
The tears were back, and now, there was no stopping them. "J-Jowee...don't leave without me..."
Jowee gently took Mari's paws in his, pressing his nose to her's. His touch was like a trigger, for she too, began to drift toward disappearance. "I'm not going to...Mari, you mean everything to me...I'm sorry for being so stupid...for putting you through so much crap...and...for not telling you how I felt before. I really wanted to spend my life with you, Mari...I wanted us to be...more."
Mari was blushing. She was almost elastic. She felt her heart throwing itself against her ribcage. In that moment, it was very clear that what he felt about her, was the same as she felt about him .
"Then...you know what I need to say..." Mari said softly, placing a paw on Jowee's pounding heart.
"I think so..."
"Together then?"
Jowee gave a sad smile, placing a paw on the side of Mari's face. "I don't see why not."
Then, in unison, their final words were spoken:
"I love you.."
And as their lips met, they, like everything else, slowly faded away...