It was a day like any other day; I stood unsuspecting in the kitchen, knowing precisely where both of my roommates were and exactly what they were doing.

Elsa was passed out in our room, I wasn't sure how many days she'd spent awake in a row, but I did know that chef was starting to become a bad influence. I made a note to have a chat with him, when I could give a damn. At least she's sleeping now… Chef was busy in his room, I thought he was writing; that's what I yelled at him to do anyways, he needed to let off some steam – writing always perked him up.

The point was I had a quiet house all to myself. Thus, confident in my knowledge, I decided to be an awesome roommate and start on dinner for the three of us. I put in my ear-buds and started one of the playlists Elsa had given to me, blasting the music and dancing around the kitchen while I worked. No one was around ok? I was positive I wouldn't be caught.

My girlfriend, as much as I love her, has a…special way of garnering my attention. Her favorite way of letting me know she's in the room is her ninja-ing up on me and straight up tackling me to the ground. The first time she did it I was caught wholly unaware (ok, I'm caught wholly unaware just about every time). We had just recently moved in together, been in the house maybe a week, and I was folding my laundry. I suppose it had been awhile since I'd seen or heard from Elsa, which should have been the first warning sign. I jumped when I heard my name being yelled and had barely the time to turn to look at the source before she had me on the ground.

She was always careful and it never hurt, but god was it always a surprise.

By this point, I'd gotten a lot better about being aware of my surroundings at all times, I think that was part of the game for her. But this time I let my guard down.

My only warning, as I was singing Superman at the top of my lungs, was a slight prickling at the back of my neck.

Then I was on the ground.

"Elsa, what even, god.." I complained loudly as she just grinned triumphantly and firmly pinned me to the ground. "I thought you were asleep!"

Her only response was to just start rubbing her face all over me. Which, coincidentally, was what chef walked into as he wandered into the kitchen.

I heard a strangled sound and looked up from Elsa to see him standing over us.

"ELSA GET THE FUCK OFF MY SNORKLE DORK YOU WILL NOT BE CORRUPTING HER INNOCENCE IN MY KITCHEN AND I DID NOT HEAR YOU CORRUPTING HER INNOCENCE LAST NIGHT."

He ended his rant in more incoherent yelling that eventually trailed off into his unique grumpy duck noises.

I lost it at the expression on his face, my laughter fighting with my embarrassment. I knew I was loud last night, but god he wasn't supposed to hear!

I turned my attention back to Elsa to see her reaction to being yelled at, too little too late, when I saw the expression on her face. Oh god. It was her I-am-going-to-piss-them-both-off-the-same-time face. Trust me, I was intimately familiar with this particular expression; although you could never predict exactly what she was going to do.

She looked Chefy straight in the eye, leaned down toward my already wincing face, licked me wetly from chin to forehead.

There was silence for a moment, before all hell broke lose.

"GOD ELSA WHAT THE ACTUAL" I was too offended to actually finish my sentence, as I quickly started to wipe the rather copious amount of spit off my face.

Chef could only make outraged sputtering noises at us, somehow offended with me as well as Elsa.

As for said dick of a girlfriend? She was literally rolling on the floor, laughing at herself so hard she was crying.

Which is exactly where she stayed while chef and I got over ourselves and finished making dinner.

"I'm a fucking riot, don't tell me that wasn't pure gold." She said as she sat down at the table with us.

Chef made some more grumpy noises in response and I couldn't help but give her a lopsided grin. Life with my girl was never boring.