It was over. Over and done. That god-awful game was over. After all the trauma, the death and dying, the losses and the gains, the downs that far outweighed any advantages of the cruel game that was sgrub. No more would we have to play. We twelve were free to live normal, boring lives, and we chose to live them together.
It was far better than we could have dreamed. Nothing tried to kill us. None of us had a reason to fight anymore, we were able to wrap our heads around the human ideal of friendship beyond quadrants. the kids definitely had more to teach any of us than we'd have liked to admit, despite them being a ridiculously young and short-lived race.
Then, maybe it was that factor. Maybe living barely longer than a fly lets you slow time down mentally. Appreciate the smaller shit in life. live every second like it was your last or something, none of us knew. okay that was a lie, Tavros and Aradia certainly knew. Now that we were out though... out of Sgrub or Sburb or whatever, there was one last enemy none of us were strong enough to even acknowledge.
Time still flowed, but... the end was a lot more solid than we would have liked. Without the assured quality of dream bubbles after we shuffled off this mortal coil, where were we headed? was it the end? was it a new beginning or was there some bullshit shangri-la miracle fucking fantasy eternity after everything?
None of us knew and even though we didn't talk about it, we saw the fear in each others eyes. I think Gamzee and Feferi were the most terrified, which made a lot of sense. After you've been through the endless eternal hell that is the game we somehow all survived, you don't fear for yourself anymore. not a bit.
After that, you worry about others. And for our race, you worry about those who aren't even destined to live an inkling of the lives we're blessed- or cursed- with. I don't know, none of it bears thinking about. None of it should be fucking thought about.
We're all around 6 sweeps old for gods sake! What did we do wrong? Where did we sign on for hell before, through, and after that horrible experience? Why should we be deserving of such a fate?
None of it really mattered, I guess. Right now we were all alive, and I guess that's what mattered. So we stuck together for as long as we could, practically every second of every day. Gamzee even kicked his highblood tendencies, which was a blessing. He'd made his apologies and we'd all accepted it, even Eridan had been accepted.
The days kept rolling though. And the weight of the silence was awful from time to time. days would go by where we'd simply sit in each others company wordlessly. We'd been friends forged in the flames of Skaia, each traveling an individual path but walking together, like it or not. And after that you didn't leave the others behind. You couldn't. Maybe that's the games last laugh at you, because it was never a good thing.
After the first four sweeps, I felt it. I knew it. I was going to be the first to go. I hadn't even really thought about it, but my mutant blood color didn't assure me immortality and I hadn't even known how long I had, but... after that mark I started going downhill. Tavros, Aradia and Sollux were worn down, but me? By eleven sweeps I knew what was going to happen.
Was I afraid? what a stupid fucking question. I'd lived through Sgrub. I'd fought the black fucking king, I'd calmed a highblood on a murderous rampage, I'd helped save the universe I accidentally doomed by creating it.
Of course I was. I was terrified. I'd wake up in cold sweats, my skin progressively darkening to show what was happening. None of the others could bear to think about it, but I could see it. In the way they laughed a little less with every passing day, the way they hugged me closer, like they could prolong my unfair lifespan with love and attention somehow.
Well, all except one. Terezi. She was a refreshing little piece of honesty amidst a mass of fake smiles and well wishers. She would talk about it, try and help me prepare for the inevitable, and it helped more than fucking hugs ever did. if I actually knew what I was heading towards, maybe that would help.
Maybe.