MY LITTLE PONY: EYES AND HOURGLASSES
Chapter I: "Mail Call"

Written by Diane N. Tran (tranimation)

I confess, unabashedly, that I am a Pegasister and I adore My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic! It's really one of the best and smartest animated shows to come out in a very, very long time. I really can't say which pony is my favourite, but Derpy Hooves (or Ditzy Doo) — a blond-haired grey pegasus with googly eyes and bubbles as her cutie mark — and Doctor Whooves (or Doctor Whoof) — a brown pony with spiky chocolate hair and an hourglass as his cutie mark — would certainly be in the top, uh, ten at the least and I was floored to learn that they both acquired a mass fan following.

However, the reason why this pastiche came about is because I came to be increasingly dissatisfied by the way the characters were portrayed primarily by fans: Derpy is usually portrayed as moronic. The slang term "derp" means "odd" or "silly," not "stupid" or "idiotic." Just because she has a physical disability doesn't automatically make her "retarded" in any manner. I see her as being wired differently, similar to the way Pinkie Pie is. Pinkie Pie isn't stupid, just a little unusual. (Honestly, what are you trying to teach kids?) Fans, in turn, generally make Whooves into a ponified Time Lord — that's complete nonsense! Making him a regenerating, space-travelling, time-travelling alien who drives a flying phone-booth in this universe (where magic, fantasy, sonic rain-booms, and talking animals are possible, mind you) comes off as unnatural to me and defies the "logic" established in the show. Instead, I always saw him as a kooky inventor. The flying contraptios, for example, used by Pinkie Pie and Tank the Tortoise had to come from somepony. Yes, I'll make Whovian references (because I'm a classic series fan, not the new one) only as a gag, but he's more "Doc Brown" than "Doctor Who" in my head. Despite everything said above, I do enjoy the idea of them as a couple, probably more than I should.

For those who don't know, K-9 was a loveable robo-pet of Doctor Who's originally introduced during the Tom Baker run. Rather than being a 51st-century machine from the another planet, this K-9 is the invention of Doctor Whooves who will make more appearances as the story goes on. Screw the regenerated piece of crap from the new series! Classic K-9 forever!

This story will be a collection of little snapshots into the Derpy-Doctor relationship, taking place a week after he moves into Ponyville, a few years before the main events of the series. They may not be published any specific chronological order, but I will organize them as such when need be.

Synopsis: The wall-eyed mail-mare from Cloudsdale befriends Ponyville's newest resident, an eccentric clockmaker and inventor from Lonmane, and is taken by surprise when a simple friendship ultimately transforms into a not-so-simple romance. Canonical (Generation Four): Friendship/Romance: On-going. Rated K for unadulterated cuteness.

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic © Hasbro

Derpy Hooves was Ponyville's neighbourhood mail-mare. When she was first hired for this job, there was a great deal sniggering all over Cloudsdale for hiring the ridiculous, little cross-eyed pegasus. Luckily for her, looks can be deceiving and, in time, she became the best mail-mare that Ponyville ever had.

Letter by letter, parcel by parcel, she would work her way from one end of town to the other, zipping from house to house, building by building, slipping envelopes into each mail-box and each mail-slot, and waving to each pony she passed by. Through rain, wind, or shine, she was there every morning without fail and one thing she always prided herself on was never being late and, today, she was ahead of schedule. If she kept this up, she might treat herself with muffins at Sugarcube Corner — a dozen, perhaps!

Maybe chocolate? Oh, or raisins!

She shook her head, which jingled like a cowbell between her ears, in order to cast the distractions out of her mind. She needed to focus on her work first.

She picked out the last letter from her bag and re-read the name and address. She was looking forward to delivering this one all day. Derpy heard in passing about the new pony in town and a new stallion was always news for the mares. He had moved into the antiquated, dilapidated Old Clock Tower isolated at the far end of Ponyville. Erected back during the town's foundation, it was perhaps the oldest standing building around — and this was his first letter.

She somersaulted effortlessly in the air and landed on her four hooves before the house. That's strange. Where was the mail-box? Her amber eyes spun around in confusion until she noticed a big crater in the grass where the wood post of the mail-box once stood. When she cantered to the front door, there was no mail-slot either.

How silly. How was he ever going to his letters this way?

As the routine for larger deliveries, Derpy banged her head on the door and waited. She wasn't going to leave it out on the porch for the wind to blow it away. "Letter for Mr. Doctor Whooves," she called cheerfully and banged her head upon the wood again.

The door opened and the strangest thing she ever saw came out...

A little metal box resembling something like the shape of a dog rolled out in front of the door, whirling its radar-dish ears, as the red screen of its eyes blinked at her and its antennae-like tail moved from side to side, with a plaid collar around its hose-like neck and the word "K-9" scrawled upon its flank.

Derpy's mouth was agape at the thing. The letter she held between her teeth fell on the doormat at the sight of this — this — whatchamahoozit! Yeah, that was the only word she could think of to describe it!

"Greetings and salutations," it heralded in a monotone, mechanical voice.

The pegasus' eyes widened and she responded to it the best way she could:

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH !"

Screeching at the top of her lungs, she bulleted up into the air as fast as her wings could carry her, tunnelling holes through the clouds above.

"What was that awful noise, K-9?" questioned a brown-coated pony from inside the house and glanced outside in investigation.

"Insignificant data to form a reply," beeped the robotic dog. "But the post has arrived, Master."

"Oh, brilliant! My first letter! I guess they didn't forget about me after all. And you were worried, ha!" The stallion joyously took the letter from the ground between his teeth and trotted back inside, shutting the door behind him.

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