White Wind
Quistis stirred restlessly in her dorm. The adrenaline of the Training center had not yet
worn off. She could feel her heart thumping, her blood stiring within her veins, and her skin
prickling in memory of the last few hours. Or maybe it was just the breeze from the fan above,
whirring away on high speed.
She sighed and sat up in bed. The last glitter of fireworks had long since died away,
leaving the sky traced with smoky lines of wispy color. The only light left on was the stars,
gently shimmering in the velvety night. Maybe it they were shining for the hope found in the new
SeeD inductees. Quistis snorted at herself, she was sounding like a kid again, hoping to be an
Instructor one day. She was at the same point again.
Quistis set her bare feet on the chilled cement floor, wincing at the shock. She silently
padded over to the window and gazed outside. The moon hung in the sky like a iridescent white
pearl, casting off silvery rays of light. Faint sounds of music echoed in the air, like half
forgotten melodies in the corners of your mind. Quistis had never felt so alone.
She knew that she would never be like the other SeeD members. They would never open up to
her, confide in her, or accept her like they would the others. Quistis Trepe would always be
"Instructor", not "one of us." She had been assigned, no, demoted, to work alongside people who
she had taught and saw her as someone unreachable, above them. She had always been a prodigy,
youngest SeeD and Instructor. She was their age, yet to them she was ancient, aged by her
teaching.
Quistis slammed her fist down on the balcony wall. She felt like screaming. Headmaster
Cid had done the worst thing to her he could have, make sure she would always be alone. Quistis
remembered her enthusiasm at becoming an instructor, how thrilled she had been to accomplish her
life's dream. Then, not even a year later, kicked out and worse off than ever. At least when
she was a SeeD before she had friends, people she could turn to. Selphie, Zell, Squall, all of
them had only known her as instructor. She would never be accepted. Tears streamed down her
cheeks and hit the stone wall, shattering into a thousand droplets. Shattering like her dream.
Like her life.
One jump, that's all it would take. Quistis held her breath at the thought. She would be
free, not have to endure the sharp looks in the halls of Garden, or the whispered words in the
halls. Her legs trembled and she clamped her fist around the edge of the wall. Quistis bit her
lip. No one cared about her feelings Squall had demonstrated that himself. The tears started to
flow again.
She had always hoped she could be more than a teacher to him, even being his friend
would have been satisfactory. His piercing eyes and sharp brown hair had made her heart thump the
first time she saw him. He was a student, but she was a little less than a year older. Quistis
gazed into the stars, her tears reflecting their light. She had stood over these same stars four
hours ago with Squall and poured out her heart to him. His words still rung in her ears. "Are you
finished yet?" and "Go talk to a wall." Was it wrong to want to be close to someone, to love them
with all your heart? She had always focused on training instead of people, chosen work over
being close to someone. Now here she was, a washout and failure.
Quistis licked her dry lips and bit her lip. She peered over the wall into the trees
below. She knew that the jump wouldn't be fatal. She sighed, she couldn't do it. She knew in her
heart that she loved life too much. If she injured herself, she would be turning her back on SeeD
and Garden when they needed her the most.
Who could she turn to? Xu avoided her gaze whenever they saw each other. Headmaster Cid
could never understand. The other Instructors thought she was an idiot and scorned her openly. No
one understood the challenges she had been through or the hard times she had faced, emotionally
and physically.
"Quistis...?" A soft voice cut through the silence of the night, "Is anything wrong?"
Startled, Quistis turned around to find herself looking into Selphie's normally cheerful
face. Right now, though, it was twisted into a mask of concern and worry.
"No, I...just couldn't sleep, that's all." Quistis turned away again to stare at the stars. They
remained the same as ever.
"Don't pay any attention to what Squall said." Selphie grinned and laid her hand on Quistis'
shoulder, like her friends used to do, long ago, "We're all really upset that you lost your
position as Instructor. Squall is too, he's just unsure of how to say it. He's used to showing no
emotion, so it'll take him a while, maybe forever."
Quistis quickly looked at Selphie, "Really? You all....care about me?"
"Yeah! You were the nicest Instructor at Garden and a good one too. You helped us all pass, but
then they demoted you. It'll take a while to get used to, but don't give up."
Quistis realized that Selphie had just been graduated, after moving to Balamb Garden and
Leaving all of her friends behind. Selphie had been through a rough time as well. "Selphie...um
could you...would you....be my friend?" Quistis stammered.
"Of course! I'd be more than happy to. Why?" Selphie blinked in surprise.
"I...never had many friends and we've both been going through some hard times, so I thought that
being friends might help us both...feel better. I...I've been really lonely all of my life. I was
thinking that maybe, now that I've had the opportunity, I should live my life a little
differently than before." Quistis ran her fingers through her hair, inhaling the fresh coastal
air.
"Quistis...thank you. I've never had a really close friend before. This means a lot to me, it
really does." Selphie smiled, "Just try to get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow morning in the
Cafeteria for Breakfast, okay?" Selphie turned and half-skiped into her room, giving a final
wave before closing the door.
Quistis smiled and gazed once more into the night sky. The stars twinkled brighter,
leading her into a new future. Funny, how friendship made everything seem better. Quistis started
to walk back into her room, but paused to look again through her window. The moonlight tinged the
air a milky sheen of white. She inhaled the sweet fragrance of life, borne on the white wind.
Quistis stirred restlessly in her dorm. The adrenaline of the Training center had not yet
worn off. She could feel her heart thumping, her blood stiring within her veins, and her skin
prickling in memory of the last few hours. Or maybe it was just the breeze from the fan above,
whirring away on high speed.
She sighed and sat up in bed. The last glitter of fireworks had long since died away,
leaving the sky traced with smoky lines of wispy color. The only light left on was the stars,
gently shimmering in the velvety night. Maybe it they were shining for the hope found in the new
SeeD inductees. Quistis snorted at herself, she was sounding like a kid again, hoping to be an
Instructor one day. She was at the same point again.
Quistis set her bare feet on the chilled cement floor, wincing at the shock. She silently
padded over to the window and gazed outside. The moon hung in the sky like a iridescent white
pearl, casting off silvery rays of light. Faint sounds of music echoed in the air, like half
forgotten melodies in the corners of your mind. Quistis had never felt so alone.
She knew that she would never be like the other SeeD members. They would never open up to
her, confide in her, or accept her like they would the others. Quistis Trepe would always be
"Instructor", not "one of us." She had been assigned, no, demoted, to work alongside people who
she had taught and saw her as someone unreachable, above them. She had always been a prodigy,
youngest SeeD and Instructor. She was their age, yet to them she was ancient, aged by her
teaching.
Quistis slammed her fist down on the balcony wall. She felt like screaming. Headmaster
Cid had done the worst thing to her he could have, make sure she would always be alone. Quistis
remembered her enthusiasm at becoming an instructor, how thrilled she had been to accomplish her
life's dream. Then, not even a year later, kicked out and worse off than ever. At least when
she was a SeeD before she had friends, people she could turn to. Selphie, Zell, Squall, all of
them had only known her as instructor. She would never be accepted. Tears streamed down her
cheeks and hit the stone wall, shattering into a thousand droplets. Shattering like her dream.
Like her life.
One jump, that's all it would take. Quistis held her breath at the thought. She would be
free, not have to endure the sharp looks in the halls of Garden, or the whispered words in the
halls. Her legs trembled and she clamped her fist around the edge of the wall. Quistis bit her
lip. No one cared about her feelings Squall had demonstrated that himself. The tears started to
flow again.
She had always hoped she could be more than a teacher to him, even being his friend
would have been satisfactory. His piercing eyes and sharp brown hair had made her heart thump the
first time she saw him. He was a student, but she was a little less than a year older. Quistis
gazed into the stars, her tears reflecting their light. She had stood over these same stars four
hours ago with Squall and poured out her heart to him. His words still rung in her ears. "Are you
finished yet?" and "Go talk to a wall." Was it wrong to want to be close to someone, to love them
with all your heart? She had always focused on training instead of people, chosen work over
being close to someone. Now here she was, a washout and failure.
Quistis licked her dry lips and bit her lip. She peered over the wall into the trees
below. She knew that the jump wouldn't be fatal. She sighed, she couldn't do it. She knew in her
heart that she loved life too much. If she injured herself, she would be turning her back on SeeD
and Garden when they needed her the most.
Who could she turn to? Xu avoided her gaze whenever they saw each other. Headmaster Cid
could never understand. The other Instructors thought she was an idiot and scorned her openly. No
one understood the challenges she had been through or the hard times she had faced, emotionally
and physically.
"Quistis...?" A soft voice cut through the silence of the night, "Is anything wrong?"
Startled, Quistis turned around to find herself looking into Selphie's normally cheerful
face. Right now, though, it was twisted into a mask of concern and worry.
"No, I...just couldn't sleep, that's all." Quistis turned away again to stare at the stars. They
remained the same as ever.
"Don't pay any attention to what Squall said." Selphie grinned and laid her hand on Quistis'
shoulder, like her friends used to do, long ago, "We're all really upset that you lost your
position as Instructor. Squall is too, he's just unsure of how to say it. He's used to showing no
emotion, so it'll take him a while, maybe forever."
Quistis quickly looked at Selphie, "Really? You all....care about me?"
"Yeah! You were the nicest Instructor at Garden and a good one too. You helped us all pass, but
then they demoted you. It'll take a while to get used to, but don't give up."
Quistis realized that Selphie had just been graduated, after moving to Balamb Garden and
Leaving all of her friends behind. Selphie had been through a rough time as well. "Selphie...um
could you...would you....be my friend?" Quistis stammered.
"Of course! I'd be more than happy to. Why?" Selphie blinked in surprise.
"I...never had many friends and we've both been going through some hard times, so I thought that
being friends might help us both...feel better. I...I've been really lonely all of my life. I was
thinking that maybe, now that I've had the opportunity, I should live my life a little
differently than before." Quistis ran her fingers through her hair, inhaling the fresh coastal
air.
"Quistis...thank you. I've never had a really close friend before. This means a lot to me, it
really does." Selphie smiled, "Just try to get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow morning in the
Cafeteria for Breakfast, okay?" Selphie turned and half-skiped into her room, giving a final
wave before closing the door.
Quistis smiled and gazed once more into the night sky. The stars twinkled brighter,
leading her into a new future. Funny, how friendship made everything seem better. Quistis started
to walk back into her room, but paused to look again through her window. The moonlight tinged the
air a milky sheen of white. She inhaled the sweet fragrance of life, borne on the white wind.