Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all related places/characters is compltely J.K. Rowling's. But there will be lots of original ideas in this story, and those are mine. So please ask before using them.

Author's Note: I know, I know, I've been away so long I could have fallen off the face of the earth. The Choice has been deleted because I just don't have the willpower to finish long works with complicated plots. I need something more fun and random. This will take fun and randomness to extremes.

Harry Potter and the Land of Fanfiction

Prologue: How Adventures Begin

What Harry Potter needed least was an adventure. After seven years of nothing but danger, trouble, and far too much excitement than is healthy, what Harry Potter needed was a nice long period of peace and normalcy.

Of course, when you have just destroyed a feared Dark Lord, you may get peace but you will never get normalcy. You can try, as Harry Potter was doing at this very moment. However, there are some people whose lives simply refuse to stay quiet, and Harry Potter was one of these people. No matter how many times he resolved to be normal, even just for a day, Harry Potter's life, much like his hair, refused to comply.

At this particular moment, Harry was at home, finishing his breakfast. He had to admit, it was nice to wake up and not have to worry about his impending doom. Leaving his plates in the sink, Harry walked back to his room. And it was then, when Harry was very relaxed and not thinking about adventure at all, that an adventure decided to come visit him. For where Harry's bedroom had been there was a great deal of blackness, and as Harry stared in shock at the nothingness in front of him, the nothingness swallowed him.

What happened next was very strange. It is very hard to describe, but if you are a Muggle and have never Apparated, you should understand what it felt like, for it was nothing like Apparation at all. And when Harry could see again, he was in a very different place, and, being an experienced adventurer, he could see that this was the beginning of what would no doubt be a very long adventure.

Oh, no.

The room Harry landed in was very large, rather dark, and full of books. It was like landing in the Hogwarts library, only the room he was in was a thousand times bigger, with as many more books. The only light came from a flickering candle behind Harry, on a desk next to a small bell. And next to the bell- Harry had to squint to see it in the darkness- was a small plaque that read, 'RING FOR ASSISTANCE.'

So Harry, with only the slightest of misgivings, rang the bell. What else was there to do?

A little old man that resembled a cross between Flitwick and Dumbledore appeared with a 'poof', the kind that you make when you sit on a very old couch. Coughing wheezily, he peered at Harry without interest, then said in a creaky voice:

"Oh. It's you."

Whatever Harry had been expecting, it hadn't been that. "What do you mean, it's me?" he asked.

"It's you. Harry Potter. You're the most popular character we have. You're in all the fics, except some of the ones concerning your parents, and the Four Founders." The man appeared to be very bored.

"Er…" said Harry, thoroughly confused. Then it came to him: I'm dreaming. I've got to be dreaming. "Where am I?"

"You mean you don't know?" the man asked. "You haven't the slightest idea where you are? You don't know?"

"Sorry," Harry said, without any idea of what he was sorry about.

"I suppose it's not your fault," the man conceded. "Well, then, it shall be my honor to tell you. I am Bob."

"Bob?"

Bob blushed a little. "All the Fanfiction writers have unusual names, so us Fanfiction Librarians have the most commonplace names you can think of. And I take care of one of the largest libraries, the Harry Potter Fanfiction Library, so I have one of the most commonplace names of all."

"The Harry Potter Fanfiction Library?" Great, now they'd gone and named a library after him.

"Indeed," Bob said, beaming. "We've got every piece of HP Fanfiction ever written, even the old ones that people didn't bother to put into computers, and the ones that never got any reviews. It's all here."

"HP… fanfiction?" This is a very odd dream.

"Of course! What else would you expect to find in a Harry Potter Fanfiction library? HP fics! Granted, we've had an overload of angst lately, and the amount of OOC we receive is appalling, but we do our best." Harry felt very much like he had been deposited into another country where everyone spoke French or Greek or Arabic or Chinese.

"What are HP fics? And… anst? And what's OOC?" And why on earth am I dreaming of something I've never heard of?

"You don't know, boy?" Bob stared at him with interest. "HP- that stands for your name, Harry! Harry Potter!"

"Why don't they just say Harry Potter, then?" asked Harry, feeling slightly offended. It's not a very hard name, after all.

"Well, HP is a lot easier to write," said Bob mildly. "And it's only got two syllables, so it's easier to say, I suppose."

"Um… okay," said Harry. "Look, I don't suppose you could tell me what city I'm in?"

"What city?" asked Bob. "You're in the Land of Fanfiction! There aren't cities, only libraries."

"Ah," said Harry, completely clueless. "The Land of Fanfiction. Could you show me the exit?"

"Exit?" Bob stared at Harry incredulously.

A horrible sinking feeling was in Harry's stomach. "You know, the way out."

There was silence for a few seconds...

...then Bob burst into laughter. Harry stared in shock as the old man gasped, wheezed, and choked out sentences between giggles.

"You… think… there's a… way… out?" And he collapsed into a fresh wave of chuckling.

Wake up, Harry. Wake up…

This was going to be a very long adventure, indeed.