Chapter 1: Let it rain over me
Sooner or later, your heart will find its way to happiness.
As she stood by the window watching the rain fall down on her apple tree, Regina pondered Snow's parting words on her mind. After everything she had endured, after every good and bad deed that didn't go unpunished, she had to wonder if she ever would truly find something akin to happiness. What if Robin was her only chance at true love and she had blown it by running away eons ago? If he was her soulmate back then, did he remain it now, with all the water that had come to pass under the bridge, not only between them but… with everyone?
How could you know this kind of thing?
A knock on the door took the former Evil Queen away from her thoughts. She quickly dried a lonely tear with the back of her hand, put her mask of composure and poise back on and walked to the door to open it.
Green eyes under golden locks awaited her.
« Hey. »
« Emma. What are you doing here? Did something happen? » The brunette was on her toes with Zelena, expecting everything to turn bad (and then take another turn for the worse) at any second.
« So, we're back to a first-name basis. Can't say I ain't glad. » The blonde retorted, a spark playfully igniting her pupils. Before Regina could reply with some snarky comeback, she continued. « Can I come in? »
The former mayor seemed taken aback. « Of course », she answered, removing herself from the door to allow the blonde to come into the house, « But you were just here. Seriously, is something the matter? Or do you miss me so you cannot stand being apart from me for more than mere minutes? »
Emma rolled her eyes and her lips curved up in a smirk, which Regina followed with a sly smile of her own. The banter was easy between them, known territory, comfy even. It was making Regina feel a little bit better already. She slightly frowned at herself for thinking fondly of the birth mother of her baby, curse-breaker Emma Swan; a couple months prior she would have slapped herself on the face for even considering Emma life-worthy. Figures.
The blonde closed the yellow umbrella she had been carrying, shook it a little in order to free it from any remaining raindrops and then entered the foyer, leaving the contraption in the umbrella stand, because, evidently, Regina had one of those. She had started to remove her raincoat by the time she replied. « Yeah, well, you are kind of an acquired taste, but I am getting used to having you around, what with our Magic Jedi training and all. »
Regina rolled her eyes at her words. « You do call it that just to taunt me. »
Emma winked - actually winked at her. « Of course I do. But, Regina, I didn't come back to play. » To play? What on earth or all the realms did she mean? Emma seemed unfazed as she hung her coat on a hanger, then turned back at her to say, « I'm here because I'm worried about you. You are sad. Well, Cora was kind of a bitch back there. Guess the underworld didn't improve her manners, huh? So I wanted to make sure you were… Why are you looking at me like I sprouted a second head? Did I smudge my lipstick or something? In my defense it's raining almost men out there, even with my umbrella on I still got wet. »
Regina chose to ignore everything but Emma's first sentence. « You are worried about me? »
Of course she would get hung up on that, Emma thought. « Well, Regina, don't know if you've noticed, but we're kind of friends now. What with facing off common enemies together and stuff. »
The brunette still felt like something was off, what with Emma worrying about her, therefore she decided she couldn't take the other woman seriously and moved forward. « Miss Swan, a common enemy does not a friend make. »
Emma looked exasperated. Regina considered it a triumph.
« You know it's more than just that and you know what I mean. » Emma added, looking tired by the minute.
« I most certainly do not. What is going on in that head of yours? Do you think we're going to have sleep-overs and gossip about boys and give each other tacky teen nicknames? Seriously, Miss Swan? » A sculptured brow challenged the so-called Savior.
« Definitely no gossiping. I have been thinking about names though. How do you feel about 'R'? I kinda like 'Em' so I thought they would have a nice ring together. » Regina awarded her her 'I cannot with you' look, so she powered through it right away. « Regina, of course we're friends. Denial much? I care about you - there, I said it - and you care about me. And I'm gonna stop you right now before you try to deny it - again -, because let's remember I saw your face of absolute dread as I was falling down that bridge last week. Absolute. Dread. » she repeated to get her point across.
Regina wasn't fazed. « I was thinking how I would explain to your mother that after deliberately trying to kill you on multiple occasions, I ended up doing it by accident. » she deadpanned, staring at Emma with her poker face on.
The blonde gave her a knowing look. « Yeah yeah, whatever gets you through the day. » Then her eyes softened as she spoke. « Come on, Regina. I am worried and I do care. I can literally feel the sadness seeping through you. I know Henry is the one who used to make you feel better when you were down… before he went all 'stop being Evil!' on you… but he's kind of not able to help right now so, just… let me help instead. »
Emma's words were sincere, and Regina couldn't just play them off as unimportant because to her, they were. Here was the Savior telling her she wanted to make her feel better. First Snow White and now… her daughter. The brunette was touched and, heart or no heart, she couldn't help it. Emma's continued stare wasn't helping either.
She took a deep breath and lowered her eyes to the floor before replying. « Emma… Fine. I'll admit I've seen better days. But I fail to see how you could make me feel better about it. »[^1]
Emma awarded her a gentle smile and offered her her hand. « The same way Henry would. Come here. » she beckoned her, but Regina didn't move, looking at her open hand in astonishment. Emma also didn't move, but kept on talking, even softer this time. «Hey… Hey. Don't you trust me? »[^2]
« Do you really want me to answer that? »
« Come here, woman. »
Regina huffed, grabbing Emma's hand with her own, and then Emma slowly took a step forward and put her arms around her. The brunette stiffened instantly.
« Emma, what are you doing? »
« I'm comforting you. Newsflash: kinda hard if you keep tensing every muscle in your body while I hold you. » if anything, the blonde pulled her tightly into her arms.
« I am… I most certainly am not… » Regina was at a loss for words. She felt drowsy from Emma's scent, and her warmth, and the sheer strength that poured off her like a river: Emma Swan was a force of nature. She reminded her of Henry, just a little bit.
Which meant she was done for.
Also, it had been so long since she had been held like this, just held, supported, the other party not expecting anything in return. Only three people in her life had held her like she was being held now: her late father, her long-lost lover, and her memory-wiped son.
And now, Savior extraordinaire and former bane of her existence… Emma Swan.
« Did you… did you just stutter? »
The brunette opened her eyes upon hearing those words (when had she closed them?) and forcefully tried to untangle herself from the soon-to-be-reinstated Sheriff, her mental haze suddenly cleared.
« Hey, hey, I'm sorry, you were finally relaxing. My bad. I didn't mean anything by it. It actually was really cute and all… » Regina tried removing herself again but Emma had her in a locked grip. « Sorry! Sorry! I'm doing it again! Don't scurry away. »
Regina deflated at that, and nearly stopped breathing when Emma buried her face in her neck in hopes to stop the scampering. It obviously worked. The blonde knew by then that she was walking on broken glass and that she should thread lightly if she didn't want Regina to bolt. Which she didn't. She had come to see her with the sole intention of easing the former Mayor's feelings a bit, but truth be told, hugging Regina felt pretty awesome. Who knew?
…
Who was she kidding? She kind of imagined it would feel amazing, if their combined magic was anything to go by.
Which it apparently was.
So the blonde focused on breathing in and out and enjoying the moment. Meanwhile, Mrs. Mills was having a hard time focusing on anything, because her mind was on a rampage from everything from What the hell is she doing to I have to end this, someone may come in with a side dish of Why does it feel so terribly comfy, though, her holding me like this? But then Emma sighed and readjusted herself so that her arms glided through Regina's back and stopped over her waist, pulling her impossibly closer. « You're thinking too loudly. » she whispered, every word turned into little puffs of air in the brunette's ear. « Let », one little puff near her ear, « it », another one close to her cheek, « go », a final one next to her nose, as Emma's forehead came to rest against her own.
Regina was sure her brain had short-circuited because she indeed stopped thinking; but she kept on feeling. She felt Emma's hands on her midriff, her thumb gently stroking her from time to time; Emma's nose softly bumping her own when she took a deep breath - there were a lot of deep breaths from both of them -; Emma's forehead against her forehead, and the blonde's heart drumming steadily in her chest, making her feel like they were sharing a heartbeat.
If Regina had been thinking and not feeling, her mind would have been reeling about what it all meant and why did it feel so good and how do we stop it although we don't want it to.But her mind blowing a fuse meant that she didn't think and, moreover, it didn't stop her from opening her mouth in the vicinity of the blonde's mouth and stating « I'm feeling better » so lightly that Emma almost missed it, even if she was currently standing at a quarter of an inch from the brunette.
« I know », Emma whispered, nuzzling her nose against Regina's ever so smoothly. How did she know? The brunette opened her eyes slightly (again, when did she close them?) and stole a look at Emma's lashes, whose roots were, to her… delight? silent surprise, also blonde. "I feel better too." Emma's lips mouthed the words when she spoke - obviously -, but it affected Regina so that she couldn't keep watching her from up close and personal. She slowly moved away from Emma's face and went to rest her chin on her shoulder instead; at the same time, one of Emma's hands traveled up her back to keep holding her tightly. Regina let out a sigh: she couldn't help it. Emma's breathing hitched up at that, and a few deeper breaths ensued. Regina felt a little smile forming on her lips at the knowledge that she wasn't the only one being affected by the proximity. « Were you having a bad day too? » she asked, unsure of what Emma meant by her last sentence.
« The last few weeks haven't been so grand, what with the Wicked Witch after us and stuff, but I try to take one day at a time. But that wasn't what I meant. I can feel that you feel better, really feel it. Therefore I feel better too. »
Regina cracked her neck and gently pushed Emma back by her shoulders, staring at her with a perfectly arched brow. « What do you mean You can feel how I feel? » The brunette's voice had gone from a quiet whisper back to being all business, but at least they were still touching. What? Emma surveyed the room. Who had said that?
« Humm… Huh… Well… It's kinda hard to explain. Don't freak out, ok? But lately, ever since you've been teaching me magic… a little while before, if I really think about it… I've been able to feel what you feel. A little bit. I think. Ok, we're back to the 'sprouted a second head' look. I figured it was a side-effect from our training? I was hoping you could shine some light about it, but apparently this is news to you. »
If Regina hadn't gone into shock before, she was about to go now. « Emma, of course this is news to me! Since when have you been able to- »
« Since… I dunno… Neverland? »
« Neverland? And it never occurred to you to tell me about it before now? » She accused.
« Ok, there was a lot happening around us, and in my defense, I was mind-wiped. When I regained my memory the feeling of… well… you, came back immediately too, but I thought you… have you really never felt…? » Emma was struggling with her words.
« You? Your emotions? Emma, I don't recall anything from the lost year and I'm not carrying my heart in my chest right now, so… No, I haven't. »
« But back when we were in Neverland…? » She insisted.
« I don't think so, Emma, no. »
Emma visibly deflated at that and Regina was about to apologize when her brain started working again and she realized she couldn't just come up and say « I'm sorry I couldn't feel your emotions, Emma », because, what in the name of…?
Emma started speaking again. « I thought you… Hmm. » Was that a pout? « Well, then I guess it is weird that I can feel you. »
Oh, in God's name.
In what had rapidly became the most bizarre exchange in her entire life, Regina proceeded to make Emma feel better for not… being… felt by her.
This was karma. It had to be.
« Emma, we should look into this. Just because I don't know about it doesn't mean it doesn't exist or that it becomes 'weird' by default. Maybe, if I ever get my heart back, » Emma gave her a pointed look. « Fine, when we get my heart back, maybe I will feel ||you too|| something. »
Emma was still brooding, her eyes glued to the floor. Regina could have sworn her heart ached for her in that moment, but that simply couldn't be, could it?
« Emma. Look at me. » Regina gently lifted the blonde's chin in order to look her in the eyes. « This sounds like powerful magic. You are the product of True Love. For all we know, this could even be- »
« True Love? » Emma's brow was scrunched up in thought, and the surprise upon hearing her own words showed point-blank on her face. « I, I mean… » she blushed profusely and looked anywhere but at the other woman, whose cheeks were also tinted red.
« … I was going to go with 'a new kind of magic altogether', but- »
The clock tower chimed seven times, interrupting the awkwardness. Emma took her cue.
« I gotta go pick up Henry. Rubes was watching him for me, there's only so much time you can leave the kid at Granny's before he bores to death. » She released Regina from her grip - which had continued throughout their discussion, for a full half hour, the former mayor realized - and began gathering her belongings. The brunette felt the loss instantly, but she couldn't focus on that then, because the blonde was reaching for the door like her life depended upon it.
« Emma, wait! » she grabbed the former Sheriff by a now raincoat-covered arm. « Don't run away from me. » The softness in her eyes and the delicacy in her voice made Emma's heart skip a beat. All the better reason to run for the hills. « We will get to the bottom of this, I promise. » she assured her, stroking her arm gently in an effort to assuage her. But Emma's eyes remained in turmoil because, what if it was True Love? She would be screwed sideways, wouldn't she? With the former Evil Queen? Former bane of her existence? And the worst part being that it didn't feel wrong in the least. In fact, if she was honest with herself…
« Emma, I don't need magic to know you are not ok. » Regina leaned in closer to cup her face. « Don't you trust me? » she threw her question back at her. Emma closed her eyes and swallowed. Hook, line and sinker.
« You know I do. » Her eyes lingered on the brunette's gaze for a moment longer, but then she sighed, and carefully disengaged Regina's hands from her cheeks. « But Henry. Rubes. Diner. Seven. Will get back. » And with that she was out the door, running away from Mifflin Street, with the rain pouring down on her; she had forgotten her umbrella in Mrs Mayor hauntingly dashing umbrella stand, which she found endearing, which in turn made her run faster because… it was an umbrella stand, for Christ's sake, and it should not elicit a whole range of feelings from her.
Notes
[^1]: This marks the point when it could have been smut; but no, this is fluff, so skip past this. SKIP PAST I TELL YOU
[^2]: Cue Aladdin scene.