Chapter One

It was over.

There was nothing left... nothing for him, anyway. Woody let out a shaky sigh and covered his face with his hands. There had been nothing left for him in Wisconsin. That's why he had left there in the first place. He couldn't have Annie...his parents were dead... and Cal was on his own now. So he had taken what savings he had, packed his car and headed for Boston.

And for a while Boston was home. He had good co-workers. He was good at his job. He had good friends. He thought at one time he had her, too. But Jordan had just insisted on pushing him away. She was afraid of commitment. She was afraid of love. Hence, in many ways, she was afraid of him. That was laughable...afraid of him...

Then came Devan. Sweet Devan. He hadn't loved her as he did Jordan....but he cared for her as a good friend...a best friend. Truth be known, he had been waiting to see if the friendship could develop into something else. But then came the airplane crash...and her too short life ended too abruptly for him to know.

So now...he was sitting in his apartment, with a few boxes scattered around...packing up what was left of his life. He had made a few calls to California....Sunny D. They were interested. They had flown him out for an interview. It had gone well. He was hired. Now all he had to do was box up his life once again and move. Move to start all over again. He sighed. It was not something he really wanted to do. But there was nothing left for him in Boston.

It was over.

The sun was warm on his back as he strolled down the boardwalk in LA. He had gotten packed up and moved....without anyone knowing. Well, nearly anyone. As luck would have it, he had run into Garret Macy at the hardware store before he had departed Boston for LA. The truth had come out. "Does Jordan know?" he had asked.

Woody admitted he had not told her. As a matter of fact, he hadn't seen her. He had taken the rest of his vacation time. He had planned to go by the Pogue and let her know. And he had stopped in a couple of times...but she wasn't there. She hadn't been at her apartment, either. Or at the morgue.

"No, she's taking some classes....she's going to be gone for a couple of weeks," Garret had told him.

Perfect. She would be gone when he left to drive out to LA. He could send her a postcard...or an e-mail. Or maybe a phone call. He just didn't want to face her face...or her eyes, when he told her.

He stopped by the railing and looked out over the ocean. The last time he had been here, he had been with her. And he swore he could still smell her perfume ... feel her by his side. He had come out to LA to forget his past, and her. So far it wasn't succeeding. He had been here three months. He still hadn't gotten up the nerve to phone her...or even send her an impersonal e-mail. He had talked to Lois Carver. Lois said Jordan had asked about him and had been shocked he had left Boston with no word to anyone.... "You need to call her, Woody," she had said. "She's hurt..."

Woody couldn't imagine why. Finally, getting up all his courage, he flipped open his cell phone and punched one on speed dial. "Hello," he heard her voice say. She sounded tired.

"Jo?" he said.

"Woody...."

"I thought I should give you a call....."

She was a little groggy. She had pulled a double at the morgue and then worked over. They were still short-staffed, having only replaced Peter with Sydney. They were still waiting on Devan's replacement.

She knew he had hurt when Devan died. She had tried to comfort him, but he wouldn't let her. He wouldn't let anyone. He had pushed her away as hard as she had pushed him away in the past. And in the end, she guessed it didn't matter. She wasn't enough to keep him in Boston.

But sometimes loses make you realize what you want. And as soon as she had gotten back from her refresher classes and Garret told her he was gone, she had nearly driven herself crazy worrying about him. She had been concerned about his state of mind before she left. He was fragile. She hadn't wanted to leave for her training...but there was no choice. Now she didn't know how to get in touch with him. Finally, after working with Lois Carver one afternoon, she had confided in the woman how much she missed him and how much it hurt to know he had left without talking to her. The least he could have done was left her a goodbye note.

He wasn't here......he was gone.....and he had left a large, gaping chasm in her life. And she wanted him to come back. She wanted him to come home.

So when he called that Saturday afternoon, his voice was as welcome as the warm sunshine in the spring. "Woody...." She hoped she kept the ache out of her voice....the hurt. He told what had happened. He interviewed. He was hired. He had moved quickly. He had to. And that he was sorry he hadn't told her goodbye...but things being what they were, he really didn't know if it mattered.

"I'm glad for you...I know the job's something you've always wanted....you'll be great at it, Woody. But .... I miss you, you know?"

"I miss you, too, Jordan. But we can talk...e-mail. Maybe you can come out here on your vacation." He said that, but he doubted it. Jordan hated LA. Bad memories.

"Or maybe you can come...home....back to Boston for Christmas?"

"No..." he had told her. He would never come back to Boston. If LA held bad memories for her, Boston held even more for him. He wouldn't come back now. He doubted he ever would.

"Then this is truly goodbye?" she asked, struggling to keep the tremor out of her voice...and her hands...she was shaking all over.

"I....I guess so," he replied, the realization of what he had thought he wanted running through him like electricity. It didn't seem so appealing now.

"Then...I'm sorry, Woody. So sorry.....I will miss you more than you'll ever know. Please, be careful with yourself. And keep in touch occasionally. I do care...." She was swallowing hard....fighting tears....

He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, too." He knew what they were apologizing for...not trying to work things out between them. They both had run from the issue. "And I'll be careful. I care, too, Jordan. And if you ever need me, call me....and I'll stay in touch." He hung up, knowing it was a lie...they would probably not ever speak again.