Hey guys, so this is my first fanfic ever. I want your reviews and I'm sorry for any grammar or vocabulary mistakes. Thank youu.
No One's POV
Proud. It felt like a dream. How could he ever even dream this? He would be the one to get the fame, he would be the one to shine between the death eaters. Well 'shine' in a very special way. He was his Chosen One. It sounded perfect. If Potter was the Chosen One by Dumbledore, the world, the universe, by himself or whatever, then he would have to fight him. Voldemort made him feel very special. He made him feel like what he would do, would bring him eternal glory. He wanted everyone to show respect, to be worthy of being entitled as a Death Eater.
After his father got in Azkaban, anyone would expect Narcissa to care about this extremely much and let it get to her. Well no. His mother looked as beautiful as before, perfectly dressed and her mind was only on Draco and on the Dark Lord's plans. Don't get it wrong, it's not that she didn't care. Lucius and Narcissa loved each other in a cold way. She cared, he cared, but their own selves would always count more to them.
Narcissa loved Draco in the same cold way. But sometimes it just seemed that when the situations turned out to be unbelievably risky and dangerous, she would show she cared. Her pride though, would always let her show it only gently and as coldly as always. She preferred showing her emotions through actions instead through tears and useless words. She always did something about a harsh situation instead of panicking over it.
Draco realized this better when Snape revealed to him after pressure that he took the Unbreakable Vow.
He learnt the plan better than his own name. He knew every step. All the Slytherins, and of course the other Houses, would be one step behind him. He wouldn't fail his plan, and the most possible was him managing to kill Dumbledore without the killing curse.
During the last five years in Hogwarts Express, Slytherins would chat about the other Houses, especially Gryffindors, of course not in a good way. Well this year he didn't feel like joining. After he got in Borgin and Burkes with his mother, he saw how serious the situation was. It's not like he didn't knew before but the thought of not managing to successfully repair the Vanishing Cabinet or not killing Dumbledore, made him panic. Voldemort was absolutely clear. He had to do this. Blaise and Pansy were silent. He tried to say what was about to happen. He couldn't reveal it though, but he tried to make clear it would be his last year in Hogwarts. He felt simply emotionless. But he felt anger towards Hogwarts, he definitely deserved more than what Hogwarts gave him. The half Hogwarts was like a mini Harry Potter fandom. Of course Slytherins were against the Golden Trio but it just wasn't enough anymore. Slytherins were a bunch of cowards, they were either like Crabbe and Goyle, stupid, or they would simply mock them and cause fights. None of them cared about getting actual revenge. Yes, simply dueling was enough for him too. At least a few months ago. He always wanted to harm them more but he just couldn't. Now it was his chance.
When he used Petrificus Totallus on Potter, he was kind of satisfied. Potter tried to secretly listen to him, in case he revealed…what? How could he possibly know anything about his mission? Nosy Potter. He wanted him to go back to London but from what he got Loony Lovegood helped him to get out of the train. A broken nose wasn't a good payback as it seemed.
The thoughts of something going wrong started stressing him out from the time he first stepped in Hogwarts that year. Everyone started chatting, make fun of the first years and the other houses but he wasn't in the mood for anything. What if he failed? He wouldn't. Of course he wouldn't. He was his Chosen One, Voldemort trusted him. He was worthy of his trust.
When he first saw the Vanishing Cabinet, he simply stared. It was that terrifying and amazing feeling that he was closer to what he had to do. The dark inside the Room of Requirement helped him feel safer. Many of the times he went there, he wanted to cry. It seemed the perfect place to let out his emotions. But it didn't seem right, at least until he saw the bird dying and realized that the Cabinet wasn't fixed once again. This place was the room in which the most important part of his mission was located.
And then Katie Bell.
"Imperio." Her eyes changed. Generally her expression.
"Give the necklace to Dumbledore." He said automatically. She nodded. He stared at her for a minute.
"Obliviate." He deleted the memory. He wasn't sure whether it was possible but from what he knew, he could at least partially erase a part of it. Bell didn't cause him any kind of emotion, maybe hatred for being a Gryffindor. He didn't really care for making her do this. But what worried him was that he felt like his heart and soul was a step beside this. He had convinced himself that this was the right thing. Was it? He stopped hesitating and quickly smirked trying to convince Bell, which was easy, that he was sure he wanted to do this. Could he convince himself too? The idea seemed familiar now, but not ideal. He automatically thought that what he did was something to be proud of, but a small part of him, that he usually tried to ignore disagreed.
"Go now." She left.
When he failed to curse Dumbledore by the necklace, surprisingly Voldemort didn't say anything. He didn't feel any kind of pain on his mark and there was no sign he was angry. He was informed that he was disappointed but he wouldn't have to be punished.
Harmonia Nectere Passus. It was the way to fix the Cabinet and use it. Until he felt fully connected. He knew the meaning of harmony slowly coming and taking over people after them feeling more pain than ever. Harmony indeed was coming slowly. About the pain part, he felt the pain without knowing it. He had built a wall to keep the pain behind. Sometimes it managed to break out though.
When Snape that night he was caught coming out from the Room of Requirement offered him his help, he felt like he was underestimating. He wouldn't let this go on. He shouted at him that he was the chosen one. But Snape saw something that Draco always felt but rarely realized it. Terror. Fear of failing. He didn't want any help, honestly. He wanted to do this alone. To show who he was.
Sometimes he went at the bathroom in which Myrtle was. He let the pain come out. He cried about everything. He didn't know what he was actually crying about. Was he crying because he was forcing himself to do this? No. He was crying because he was convinced that he wanted to do this. Were his hesitations very few? Less than the number they should be? More? Would this prevent him from completing his mission? He simply covered everything by crying.
When the bird died, he stared helplessly at it. In a funny way, he begged it to wake up. It wasn't fixed. And the day was coming closer. It was the first time he broke inside the Room of Requirements.
Potter's face when he talked with Bell was hard to be read. Had he learnt anything? Did Bell remember? What if she did? When Potter looked at him, he ran off. He felt panicked.
"You hexed her, didn't you?"
He lost it. They started dueling and yes, he used Crucio. He had used two of the Unforgivable Curses. And the time for the third one was coming. Then Potter used…Sectumsempra? He didn't know the spell. But he learnt it very well after he ended up in the hospital wing.
Oh and let's not forget his second attempt. He poisoned the mead and used Imperio again on Rosmerta. Fail again.
Until the night in the Astronomy Tower, he hadn't realized how much the stress of completing his task had gotten to him. His psychology was terrible and disturbing and his physical health wasn't great too. He hadn't been mocking The Golden Trio at all, he hadn't been doing homework, let's say that he had even forgot he was a prefect. When he looked at himself he saw a difference. He looked weaker than ever and more real and dangerous than ever as well.
He never wanted anyone's help. He knew he had to do that, he never looked for ways to avoid it. That's why it angered him and broke him even more when he saw the slightest hope inside Dumbledore's eyes. He told him everything about the plan to make him understand that he wasn't who he thought he was. He wanted to make clear that even if he still believed in him, it didn't change anything. He knew what he had to do, But the best he could do was disarm him. Snape did it.
Bellatrix pressured him to complete the killing part of the mission the whole year and treated him worse than Voldemort.
"Do it Draco, now!"
The Dark Mark she created at the sky, the happiness she felt when she destroyed the Great Hall, Hagrid's burnt wooden house. It terrified him. He felt broken this time. Yet, he still took all the wrong choices. He was broken but not enough to stop taking the wrong choices. After all, wasn't this the way he was raised? He was higher than anyone else, he was allowed to be scared but not to show it and of course, he wasn't allowed to even normally breathe in front of Voldemort.
And now the war started. He was sitting in a table with the other Death Eaters and Voldemort, knowing another life would be lost tonight. Charity Burbage would be the next victim and even if she begged and screamed she knew it. He felt sick because he would witness another death and he knew Voldemort would feed the mugglestudies teacher at Nagini after killing her.
And he knew that he was a part of this, officially now.
