So, hello. Can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm officially back on ffnet because of these two. I haven't written something in a long while, but Bonnie and Damon pulled me back in. There's just something so addictive about them. I have to let it out. Their latest hug was too wonderful not to write about. So, this is my belated attempt. I hope you enjoy this one-shot.
The title, of course, is taken from Tom Odell's Another Love.
(+++)
Her heart pounded in her chest. Thump, thump, thump. It was going to burst through her body and flood the room with her joy.
All the emotions she had previously suppressed were coming out in full bloom. A desperate smile cracked through her dry lips. Her eyes watered against her will. She wasn't supposed to cry. This was a happy moment, after all. But some happy moments are tragic.
She ran to him as if he was about to disappear. It didn't matter that she was back home; she still felt that all-consuming fear at the thought of finding herself alone in that kitchen again. She wouldn't bear it. Not this time around. Not when happiness was just a step away.
She crashed into him, needing to feel his physical being, his real body, not a figment of her imagination. If he was really here – if she was really home – she could breathe at last.
The overwhelming need to touch him made her usual inhibitions disappear. She brought her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist and she didn't give a damn. For once, she could make him her center. For once, she could push down her pride and accept that he was what she needed right now. She could smell him, smell his vampire scent, but the witch inside her didn't protest. She inhaled and even giggled into his shoulder, still finding it hard to believe she was truly here. There was something dreamlike about their reunion.
But her giggling stopped when she felt his arms coming round her, gripping her back. He was responding to her embrace. He was giving her the proof she needed. He was real. His palms caressed her spine, sending shivers down her skin. He gave a grunt, a happy grunt of relief that made her stomach jump.
"You made it," he spoke into her hair, squeezing the breath out of her.
Bonnie laughed to hide her turmoil. She was too absorbed by him to wonder how it would look if someone walked in at that moment.
His vampire strength used to be strange and alienating, but now, it offered comfort and safety. She reveled in that feeling of being held for dear life.
When they finally broke away and he placed her down, Bonnie still felt warm. Her cheeks were burning. A normal reaction, perhaps, after all this excitement, but certainly not very appropriate. Damon Salvatore was not supposed to make her blush. She nudged him playfully, like they used to do on the Other Side. A gesture shared between siblings, or best friends. But somehow it felt a little off after their embrace. Like a weak rain shower after a blazing summer day. He grinned at her and ruffled her hair, but the moment was awkward.
Bonnie cleared her throat. "It's good to be back. Finally. For a moment there…I thought I wouldn't make it."
"For a moment there…so did I," he confessed, his eyes growing darker. "Gotta admit you scared me."
Bonnie frowned. She had never heard him speak like that. Damon did not get scared. "Wait, what are you –"
"I saw you. You were gonna off yourself, Bon. That Bourbon bottle. Our pact. You think I'd forget?"
Bonnie opened her mouth in shock. "Oh. I...I thought I felt a presence. But I figured it was my mind playing tricks."
"Well, your mind must've been playing something for you to…" Damon trailed off, swallowing hard.
"I'm sorry you had to see that. I just – couldn't deal with the loneliness anymore. I was going insane. For a while, I lost hope." Bonnie watched his face carefully, afraid to find that he didn't understand, afraid to see judgement there. Funny, she was supposed to be the judgy one.
"I get it, I do. Next time though, let a guy know. Sure, you might have to pierce through time and space to send me the message, but I feel I deserve to be included in our pact."
Bonnie smiled with relief. "No worries. I don't plan on killing myself with anyone else."
"Good. And maybe don't kill yourself at all. Gave Elena a heart attack."
Bonnie was startled to hear her friend's name for the first time. It was a loud wake-up call to reality. She really was home. There was no doubt about it anymore. The universe was no longer made up of the two of them. And she hadn't even thought about calling Elena. But Damon was clearly one step ahead of her.
"She'll be pretty thrilled to see you. But make sure you don't jump in her arms too," he teased.
Bonnie laughed it off, although the unease in her stomach hadn't completely disappeared. She had grown unaccustomed to well, anyone else. For such a long time, her whole world had been him, which sounded cheesy and plain ridiculous, but it was true. She had gotten used to the idea that they wouldn't make it out, that they'd probably die together…She had sealed her fate. For all her big talk about hope, she had felt, deep down, that he would be the last face she would ever see.
God, Bonnie, you're such a sap, she thought, chiding herself.
But she still had to wonder. Would she be able to face her other friends? It felt like coming out of a dark room to blinding sunlight. In the first moment, you just wanted to go back into the darkness.
"So…what did I miss?" she asked, sitting down at the counter and pulling a plate of pancakes towards her. Damon obliged her and sat down next to her. Just like old times. Except not.
"What's with the suit?"
Damon sighed. "This is going to be painful to recount."
But he did. He told her everything that happened, how Liz Forbes had gotten ill, how she had passed away without Caroline or anyone else being able to prevent it, how it had pretty much torn the blonde vampire apart.
"I might've preserved Liz's spirit using magic," Bonnie mused.
"Forget it. No supernatural trick could save her. It was her time."
"But maybe I could have -"
"Look, every time you try to screw natural order over, you end up half-dead. Let's not play with fire."
Bonnie conceded he might be right.
"Caroline must be in hell right now."
"She'll pull through. She has to. We've all…lost people. It made us stronger," he said, looking at her as if she knew best. And maybe she did. Her father was gone and her mother was far away, mourning her humanity and what was left of their dwindling family.
"I should be there for her right now."
"You've just gotten home. I think you can take a break."
He went on about their combined efforts to bring her back from the Other Side, although Bonnie could tell Damon had borne the brunt of that task, at least emotionally. He must have felt so guilty, she realized with a sudden surge of sympathy.
"Ah…Jeremy, for once, was not entirely useless," Damon admitted with dark humor. He looked down at his plate and muttered almost under his breath, "of course he skipped town afterwards. Couldn't wait for his girlfriend to get back."
Bonnie raised an eyebrow. "What was that?"
"I said he left for art school."
Bonnie swallowed. "Oh, that's great. I honestly didn't even think he'd graduate. I'm glad he pulled himself together. You know, I wished for him to have a happy life."
Damon smiled. "Yeah, it's not like we compelled him that happy life for him."
"Damon! You didn't!"
He placed a hand over his chest. "Hey, I wasn't alone. Elena agreed to it."
"And that makes it okay?!"
"Well, it's her idiot brother."
"And my b -" But she stopped short of spelling it out, because really, after so much time, she had no idea what he was anymore. And he was not around to clarify the situation.
"Boyfriend?" Damon finished for her.
She didn't answer. Instead, she focused intensely on her fluffy pancakes. She had made them out of some sadistic, but ultimately affectionate instinct to recreate their nightmare. A punchline to a pretty bad joke. But maybe she did like pancakes, after all.
"I guess Elena had a right to make that choice. But it still doesn't sit right with me," Bonnie mumbled, taking a large bite and chewing thoughtfully.
"I knew it wouldn't. And get ready to feel more uncomfortable."
He told her about Kai and how they had made numerous deals with him in order to get her back. All of this had led to him acquiring more power. He was the leader of a whole coven now.
Bonnie pinched the bridge of her nose. "He is a dead man. I don't care how much stronger he is now. I don't care if he's got the powers of Merlin himself. I will knock him out for what he did to me. Bastard."
She could tell Damon had stiffened next to her. He pulled his shoulders up and stared her down. When he tipped her chin up, she was forced to look at him.
"Bonnie. What did he do?"
His voice didn't sound casual anymore. Bonnie had grown to learn the variations in his tone. He only ever used this one when he was about to throttle someone.
She shrugged. "He's a teenage psychopath. I didn't expect him not to screw me over. I survived, that's what matters."
But Damon was obviously displeased with her cryptic answer.
"Bennett. What did he do?"
Bonnie sighed. "He may have stabbed me a couple of times. But I made sure he felt pain too. After I sent my magic away, things turned ugly. Last time I saw that brat, he knifed me in the stomach and left the Other Side without me."
Damon had already gotten up and was pacing the kitchen floor.
"I'll rip his head off. I'll turn him into witchy ashes."
"Damon -"
"I'll tear him to pieces, one by one."
"You won't, because if anyone is teaching him a lesson, it's me. And with Qetsiyah's magic on my side, he doesn't stand a chance."
Damon surveyed her with something resembling pride.
"You sound like a regular badass, Bon Bon. The Other Side turned you into Clint Eastwood, for all I know."
Bonnie blew on her knuckles and chuckled.
But Damon's smile vanished slightly when he remembered, "last time you used Qetsiyah's magic things went downhill fast."
"Ah, yeah I know, so I have a backup plan this time. I will wash it out of my system and get my magic back from Miss Cuddles."
Damon had a sudden revelation. "Miss Cuddles! I'll get her for you."
Bonnie had to hide a smile. She didn't know if Damon was aware, but he was acting like a ten year-old. He often did play the kid and it annoyed her to no end, but she had never found him more endearing as she did now.
That alone time really messed with your head, she decided.
She followed Damon up the stairs, not wanting to be left by herself again for a single second. She had enjoyed enough solitary time to last her a century.
She was pretty surprised when she saw him dash into his room. What could he possibly need there?
He came out holding her teddy bear.
"I didn't know you kept her in your room."
"Like I was going to let it lie around for that asshole Kai to find it."
Bonnie bit her lip and took Miss Cuddles from his arms. Her comfort toy had a different weight to it. Perhaps it was the magic, but she couldn't shake off the strange sensation that Damon was somehow imprinted there too.
She was being stupid, once again, getting all worked up over such a small thing. She was back home, and yet she couldn't stop overthinking everything. Damon had obviously kept the bear there for smart, practical reasons.
"Thanks, Damon."
She had to snap out of it. All right, so they weren't a unit anymore. It wasn't just Damon and Bonnie in Hell anymore. But this was better. Wasn't it?
Of course it is!
"I should show you something," she said, more to distract herself.
She sat him down and played him the video she had recorded. They bickered again like old times about her filming techniques and she felt another disturbing pang of nostalgia which she suppressed with shame.
"There…right there. I saw her as I was going up."
Damon grabbed the camcorder from her hands and stared at the video, his eyes bulging out in shock and…hope?
His frame shook with the effort of spelling out the words. "This isn't possible. That's - that's my mother."
It was Bonnie's turn to look shocked. She glanced at the woman with the wide blue eyes who had looked so ethereal and beautiful in that one glimpse she had had of her. She could almost see the resemblance.
She had been dressed according to the period, 1903. But who's to say she didn't come from an even older time?
"Damon. How is this happening?"
"I have no idea. My mother died from consumption when I was young."
"Oh, God. Do you think she's a ghost?"
"We didn't see any ghosts in 1994."
"That doesn't mean there couldn't be one in one of these dimensions. We don't know much about them."
"But this isn't right. She shouldn't be there."
"In the prison world? Because it's a prison?" she asked.
Damon stared at her. "My mom wasn't some evil psychopath. Why would she get trapped in -?"
Bonnie touched his shoulder gently. "Hey. We don't know that only psychopaths get sent there. And we don't know that's really her. Let's find out before we jump to conclusions."
"Right. I mean it can't possibly be her," he scoffed, although his mien was dark and troubled. He looked like a man who had just found out a long lost hero of his was still alive.
"Damon…do you want it to be her, though? Deep down?"
He scrunched his eyebrows in that familiar way she knew meant she was right.
"You mean do I want my mother to be this undead creature who's been stuck in a magical jail for decades by herself? Nope, can't say I do."
"You know that's not what I meant. You must miss her, or at least want to see her again."
Damon shook his head. "I want to get to the bottom of this, but…dead mothers should stay dead."
Bonnie knew what he meant underneath this denial. He was afraid she might not be human and hence, not his mother anymore.
"She kept a photo of you and Stefan in her room. She still remembers you. She still…" Loves you. But the words died on her lips.
Damon nodded his head perfunctorily. "Well, we'll know soon enough. I'd better go call Elena."
Bonnie acquiesced and pulled her hand away from his shoulder. Her mind was still stuck in 1994, and it would take some work to get rid of that feeling, that feeling that they were still alone. They weren't. Which was great. It was wonderful. She was happy. It was just that – she didn't want to lose that special friendship they had built in their time together.
He'll still be my friend, she reasoned. But would he? She knew he cared about her, but things were different now. What if they grew apart again? She hadn't minded before, but now she did, and it made her heart lurch painfully at the thought of losing him.
But it wouldn't come to that. She was being dramatic. Things were bound to change. That did not mean loss. It did not mean gain either. It only meant that life went on and she had to cope with it.
"Don't tell Elena about me yet. I want to surprise her. And Caroline too," she said, rising to her feet, ready to face reality at last.
"That should do both of them some good," he agreed with a tight smile. "They've only had bad news so far."
"I can imagine. But the Salvatore brothers took care of them, I'm sure."
"Speaking of which, I should probably thank you."
"You'll have to narrow it down. There's a whole list," she teased.
Damon smiled. "I thought Elena had erased me completely from her memories, but I guess working together, trying to get you back home, stirred something in her. She realized I wasn't completely hopeless."
Bonnie blinked.
"You know, you're the one who kept saying there's hope for me. Well, Elena saw that. So…you were right."
Bonnie nodded her head eagerly and forced a cheerful smile on her lips. "Of course I was right. I usually am." She tried to hold that smile for as long as she could. But something kept pulling it down. Until it looked like a grimace.
What the hell is wrong with you? Why aren't you happy for him? Why aren't you happy for Elena?
"You okay, Bon Bon?"
She grinned, although she felt tears smarting in her eyes.
"Never better."
It was probably the wrong time to cry, but happy moments are often tragic. She watched him walk away, phone glued to his ear. His voice was full of warmth and affection as he spoke to Elena. His rightful girlfriend. The love of his life. Hadn't he fought so hard to be with her? Hadn't he gone against everyone and everything, even his brother?
Bonnie turned away. She felt the loud pounding of her heart in her ears. This was no longer 1994. That Damon had loved Elena deeply, but he had also agreed to die with Bonnie. Their pact, she still remembered it vividly.
They had been sitting in front of the TV, sprawled listlessly on the couch, re-watching a Whitney Houston movie. They were close to each other, but not quite touching, because that would admit weakness, a kind of defeat. As long as there was still a smidgen of animosity between them, the Other Side had not yet won. They could still be Damon and Bonnie, reluctant partners, reluctant friends. But as the movie unwound and they reached the last scene, something shifted in their mood. They watched as Whitney ran to her bodyguard and kissed him hungrily on the lips, and, although they'd seen it a million times before, this time, it made them more depressed than ever.
Maybe it was because, no matter how many times they watched the movie, Whitney always got back on that plane and flew away to her destination, leaving Kevin Costner to move on to a new client. You couldn't change endings. Separation was inevitable. You could kiss one last time, but what was the point?
She remembered he reached out first and placed a cold hand over hers. It wasn't supposed to be gentle or sweet. He squeezed her fingers resentfully.
"We need a drink," he'd said. "And an exit strategy."
"An exit strategy?"
"We have to think about the future, Bonnie. Namely, that there isn't one."
Usually, she'd fight him on it and clamor about the importance of staying positive and not moping around like a brooding vampire, because it helped no one. But this time, the darkness had gotten to her and she just nodded her head silently, like there was no fight left in her.
He was down in the cellars for a long time. She grew scared. She stared at the black TV screen and started crying, something she only did in the privacy of her room. The truth was, she wanted to run to someone, like Whitney had in the movie. Even if it was pointless, even if it didn't last. She wanted to hold someone tight, wrap her arms around them, make them her center. But there was no one here…except Damon.
He was back before she knew it.
He placed the dusty bottle of Bourbon on the coffee table between them.
"Here's how we'll do it."
He opened his mouth to describe his gruesome plan, but he caught her red-rimmed eyes, how she quickly wiped away the tears and hid her face from him. Bonnie never let him see her cry. He stopped mid-sentence. He sat back down. This time, when he took her hand it was meant to be gentle. But she pulled away.
"Bonnie?"
"Tell me. Tell me your plan. Just…don't let me die alone, Damon."
He was visibly shaken. And unprepared. That's why he pulled her shoulders to him and rested his chin in her hair.
"That's a promise."
Bonnie snapped out of the memory quickly. It was in the past, a past without a future. Now, she was in the future and she had her whole life ahead of her.
There was just one problem. It was small, even inconsequential in the scheme of things. But it was a problem.
"Don't worry about that now…" Damon was saying, pacing the hallway, "Blondie reacted like I thought she would. She just needs to get it out of her system. But I think she'll turn around when she gets a call from a certain someone. You might not be so averse to it yourself. I can't tell you, don't want to spoil the surprise." He turned around and winked at Bonnie. "Like I said, I'm bound to secrecy. Yeah, love you too, Elena."
Bonnie swallowed. She was in love with Damon Salvatore.