Hiya, everybody! This is my first fic in a very long time, so please be gentle. It's unfortunately un-beta'd, as I'm too impatient to hunt one down, so if anyone is interested in beta-ing the rest of this, or knows someone who would be willing, please PM me and let me know. I apologize for the short-ness, it felt like a natural break. I'm also having trouble writing the next section, so I was hoping this would get some nice reviews to encourage me!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Bioware owns Dragon Age. I think Bioware pretty much owns me, in fact.

Without you

The hand gropes

The ear hears

The pulse beats

Without you

The eyes gaze

The legs walk

The lungs breathe

The mind churns

The heart yearns

The tears dry

Without you.

Life goes on,

But I'm gone

'Cause I die

Without you.

-Without You, Rent

She fingered the dagger at her hip, considering. "Why the hell do I have to make this choice. I... Maker, I'm so angry. With him. With this situation. With EVERYTHING. Andraste's flaming knicker weasels!"

Marian Hawke stared at the vulnerable back of the unresisting mage sitting dejectedly on a crate. Anders. Her friend. Her confidant. Her lover, and he'd just gone and blown up the whole chantry, killing Maker knew how many innocent people. For that alone, he should be executed. On top of that, there was his betrayal of her, the lies he'd lead her by the nose with...

"He tried to warn you-" the back of her mind said.

"Shut up," she hissed at it venomously.

And then there was the way his touch lit her on fire, how that shy smile of his brightened her day. The quietness and comfort of his hands. How she'd always thought he had the most gentle, beautiful soul. How much she damn loved him.

"You deserve death for this... But I can't bring myself to be the one who does it. So go. Get out of my sight." Her voice was like ice. Cold. Brittle. Just the way she felt right now.

"Hawke, I-" burst from him. His voice was colored with shock as he turned enough to meet her eyes. Cold blue eyes met with honey brown ones for a fleeting instant before Hawke turned her back on him.

"Maker help me, Anders, get out of here before I change my mind." If she looked at him for one second more, she'd scream, or kiss him and forgive all his crimes, or kill him, or maybe shatter into a million pieces. She wasn't sure which and she didn't want to find out. His eyes seemed to burn into her back.

"Thank you for my life. I'll try not to make such a mess of it this time." She couldn't help it. She turned back to look at him. Their eyes locked for an instant as he got up and walked away. She stared at his retreating back.

"We'd all best get to the Gallows, and quick. It's going to be quite a show." Varric said, awkward segue showing that the situation to be apparently beyond even his silver tongue.

It was over, in a sense. The end of the beginning, at any rate. She'd defended the mages, her conscience-and her baby sister the circle mage- not allowing her to do anything else. The thing that used to be Orsino was a repulsive corpse. Meredith was dead, or... something. No longer a threat at any rate. She hoped. But the city was burning and people were still looting and fighting and dying, and Maker it was a mess. Hawke didn't know what to do. Quite frankly, she was one empty numb void. Numb was probably a good thing, given the number of injuries she'd sustained in the fight against Meredith.

"Maybe you shouldn't have sent away your only healer before fighting a powerful madwoman, eh?" that obnoxious voice in the back of her mind quipped.

"Point for the voices in my head," she admitted grudgingly. Trying to dodge blows and fumble for a healing potion at the same time just didn't work well, for any of them. Merrill was a devastating offensive mage, but her healing spells were just not equal to... his. Not even close. She looked over at Fenris, who looked to be feeling much like she was. Sore.

"I don't know about you, but I'm going to sleep for about a week, and Maker help the unfortunate soul who wakes me," Hawke said. Fenris could only nod his head in reply, not that being taciturn was unusual for the broody elf. She was surprised that he had agreed to help the mages in the fight, but Fenris was as loyal as a person could get, and even their differences in opinion did not manage to cleave him from her side. If only he were as loyal... She shook her head, trying to clear the cobwebs.

"Get some sleep while you can, people. This may not be over yet."