Jolene
the Lily in the dream
today I heard the song Jolene, by dolly parton. It was while watching Glee, it was Beiste singing the song. I thought about the whole Lily/Leyla/Snape thing, lily recognizes herself in the lyrics of jolene, and remembers a certain headgirl, as she thinks about changing her life. she's insecure about the relationship And wants to be loved as a normal person. but does Leyla see things how they are? Or is she wrong?
disclaimer: the song Jolene belongs to the lovely Dolly parton! I love her!
harry Potter belongs to J.K. rowing, and so do Lily and snape. Leyla however belongs to me!
Enjoy this story about insecurity in a relationship. and how everyone needs to be loved.
Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene
Im begging of you please don't take my man
Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene
Please don't take him just because you can
The song played on the radio. Slowly she stepped closer, the songs made certain things from her past come back. She listened to the lyrics. She closed her eyes, and felt like she was back in the third year. Leyla smiled as she watched Lily and Snape talk to each other. She slowly pushed a bit of her hair away from her eyes. They were laughing, her best friend and her boyfriend. Yes, that was right. Her boyfriend. Slowly Lily touched him on his back. She smiled once more again. Leyla turned away, in a way to ignore anything that was going on. She closed her eyes. Something was going on between them. And Leyla knew it. She could smell it. .
Your beauty is beyond compare
With flaming locks of auburn hair
Lily was the one that everyone loved. She had beautiful hair. Beautiful auburn hair. Sometimes she would get jealous of her hair. Especially since Leyla had light wavy blond hair. She'd tried to color her hair red, just to make Snape notice her more. The last times he hadn't noticed her anymore. Over the years in Hogwarts it became even harder. Specially after their fifth year. He'd called her mudblood. The word no one should call him.
With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green
Your smile is like a breath of spring
Your voice is soft like summer rain
And I cannot compete with you, jolene
And even now, years after her Hogwarts days, she remembered Snape's dark black eyes. How he stared at Lily as she walked down the hallways. Her eyes, staring down the corridors. Talking to teachers. How he stared at her, every moment of the day. Leyla, never thought she was good enough. Even after Snape told her 'I love you', over a million time. She wouldn't believe that his love for her was a big as the love he shared for Lily. He never stared at her, he never got enchanted by her beauty. He never did anything. That made her feel, useless. Jealous and at times lonely. How she felt alone with him. Even when he was there.
He talks about you in his sleep
There's nothing I can do to keep
From crying when he calls your name, jolene
She stared at Snape's sleeping body. His voice whispered her name. 'Lily', in a husky tone. Leyla turned away. She put her head on the pillow, and closed her eyes. While she drifted in a sleep, she could recognize the name Lily once more again. She had tears in her eyes. He didn't love her as much as she loved him. Her name was one that didn't go away. She was glad,, he never called her Lily. He always kept with his lovely Ley. Or something. Yet she never believed that he would have chosen her if Lily were available.
And I can easily understand
How you could easily take my man
But you don't know what he means to me, jolene
Leyla knew that Lily could get Snape to fall in love with her. She knew that he would leave her, if Lily even returned his feelings. To her, he meant the world. He was the father of her daughters, Katherine and Selena. A good parent to both girls. She stared around. The idea of losing Snape to Lily felt sick, but she knew that he would go for it. Lily however was in love with James, so she would never return the feeling. That made her feel safe. Yet, that burning feeling in the back of her mind made her sick. How she was not the only woman on his mind. She wanted to leave him, to marry someone that would love her as the only woman in his life. Yet, she couldn't leave him. She loved him way to much.
Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene
Im begging of you please don't take my man
Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene
Please don't take him just because you can
You could have your choice of men
But I could never love again
Hes the only one for me, jolene
'You could have your choice in man', made her remember her Hogwarts days even more. Lily was the most popular girl in school, everyone wanted to go out with her. She had a guy on every finger, while Leyla didn't have that. Guys didn't think she was pretty enough. Or they disliked that she was the daughter of the professor transfigurations. Sirius Black was one of the guys that asked her out. Yet she never returned his feelings. Snape had asked her out in their fourth year, it was something pretty lame. And kind of romantic, but she said yes. And they had a great relationship. James was the guy Lily chose, and Leyla kept feeling that Snape settled for her. That he settled for the ugly girl.
I had to have this talk with you
My happiness depends on you
And whatever you decide to do, jolene
The last thing that came to her mind was a conversation she had with Lily. Talking about Snape, Lily had told her that she wasn't interested in Snape that way. And that they had no potential as a couple. She assured her that Leyla was seeing ghosts, and that there was nothing going on between Snape and herself. Nor their ever would. She assured that he would never be hers. And with that the conversation ended. She never got it from her mind. She stared around, she put the suitcase back. She was packing it, like she had done a lot of times. Preparing to leave him. Preparing to go anywhere. She didn't know where she wanted to go.
Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene
Im begging of you please don't take my man
Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene
Please don't take him even though you can
Jolene, jolene
She put the suitcase away, as Snape walked in the room. His eyes were filled with tears. He sank in her arms, crying. She slowly moved her hands through his black hair. Over his back, and she returned them to his lower back. She kissed his cheek.
"What's wrong?" Leyla stared at him. "Sev, what's wrong?"
"Lily.." Snape sobbed "Lily.."
"What's it?" Leyla stared at her. "What's wrong with Lily?"
"Lily's dead.." Snape put his head close to hers. She kissed him. His tears rolled over his cheek.
She couldn't leave her. How much she wanted to, she knew that it didn't matter. Snape needed her. She loved him too much to ever leave him. And that was the story.