Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.
Warning: This one-shot contains strong language that some may find offensive. Read with caution.
Although he wouldn't admit it if he lived to be one million years old, Inuyasha feared visiting the Higurashi Shrine with Kagome. He did however enjoy waiting in her bedroom while she was in another room bathing, and smelling her sweet scent as she washed herself. Of course he had taken a peek now and then, as he lay flat on his stomach and peek from the small crack under the door. If she had ever looked down and caught sight of his eyeball looking in at her naked body she would sit him until he was shitting dirt for a week. He did not want to go through that experience again.
But there were the few times he wished he wasn't there, when he could smell certain things on Kagome's family, like when her mother was reeking of an odour that make his eyes cross and nose shrivel up. Or when Souta didn't wipe good enough, he'd sniff that for hours.
Even then Inuyasha could hear things that no human could hear. Like when Gramps hid in his room from time to time, saying he was ill. Inuyasha could hear a 'thwacking'' sound coming from the room, and the faint sounds of women screaming from the box thing that Kagome called a tee-vee.
There was once a time when Kagome's mother had kindly asked him to ask Gramps if he was feeling well enough for noodles in chicken broth. Inuyasha had dumbly agreed, not being sure of those noises he heard, but going anyway. He wasn't the type to knock so being his usual self he barged in demanding the old man of having some bird soup when he stopped in midsentence to see Kagome's dear old Grandfather sitting on his bed holding his aged manly parts, the teev thing showing naked women doing things Inuyasha didn't even know exsisted. Whenever Kagome's mother asked him to do this chore after that day, Inuyasha made an excuse saying he wasn't feeling that great either.
Inuyasha also remembered a time when Kagome was rushing around, trying to get her chores done before Inuyasha took her back to the feudal era. She had been in the middle of cleaning plates when she annoyingly asked Inuyasha to do her landri. Inuyasha, not knowing what this landri thing was told her so, and she replied with short instructions on placing the clothes that were in a basket into a large white machine. Inuyasha agreed, only so he could return to the kitchen and watch Kagome flutter around, hoping to catch a glimpse up her skirt as she reached to put a cup on the top shelf.
He leaped down the steps and found the basket containing Kagome's clothes. He started tossing them into the white box when he caught sight of something strange. Usually Inuyasha knew all of Kagome's clothes, but this was different. Was it new? He didn't dare ask, she'd sit him for sure. Instead he held the tiny piece of material in his clawed hand, examining it. The piece of shredded cloth was red, and he mentally noted it would match his kimono if she wore it naked when she was alone with him. Still confused, Inuyasha examined it. The material looked old, because he could see through it. Or was that the point? It had little imprinted flowers on it, with a long string attached. Was it Kagome's underwear? It couldn't be, how could she get this thing on? Inuyasha tried opening it and looked inside, it was so tiny!
He needed to understand this object that Kagome wore, if not he would think about it for days. And then it would result to asking Miroku, and he didn't want to hear the stories that would come with the perverted monk.
"Feh." He grunted, as he tried putting his foot in it. Maybe if he put it on he'd see how she wore it. Then he could take this little image and use it for later...
Inuyasha put the other foot in and carefully, so he didn't brake this piece of cloth, pulled it on around his waist. He checked it out on himself, it was so small, how could Kagome use this? Did she get cold? Did it cover anything? Inuyasha turned his head over his shoulder and looked at his rear, the thin piece of string barley covered anything! He wondered if it caused Kagome's bottom pain wearing it. Her whole ass would hang out, maybe if she wore this he could find some way to take a peek and then-
"Inuyasha, what are you doing?" Kagome shrieked from the top of the steps.
A baffled and emotionally destroyed hanyou ripped the item off of him and threw it in the corner before high-tailing it out the nearest window. He'd have to wait for her to get another one before he could put his plan to use.
A shiver escaped Inuyasha as he sat on Kagome's bed. His eyes crept over to to the wooden box she kept her clothes in. He shuddered as he recalled the first time he looked inside.
He was being nosey as usual, Kagome was taking too long doing whatever she was doing. He had watched her stuff clothes in quickly, not wanting him to see. And him being, the mighty, strong, curious Inuyasha! He decided whatever it was she hid he would find out.
He thought it was a good idea until the fuckin' piece of shit fabric got stuck on his head. He hadn't meant for it to get up there, it just happened. He was trying to unhook the clasp that held it together while imagining what Kagome looked like when she wore it when he heard her soft footsteps coming up the stairs. He immediately jumped through her window and shot like a bullet towards the well. On his way he passed Souta, who confusingly asked him what he was doing with Kagome's bra on his head.
And then there was that time when Kagome was at school and Mom asked him to help her clean the shed. Inuyasha agreed, hoping he'd get goodies in reward. As they were looking through boxes he found one that was written in thick black marker saying 'JUNK! NO NEED TO LOOK'. When he asked Mom about it she told him to go through it anyway, not understanding the weird look Inuyasha was giving her. Reluctant to please Kagome's family he dug through the box, pulling out odds and ends until he found books at the bottom. He picked them up and looked at them, wondering what was so junk about it; but gasped in horror when he read the title out loud by mistake.
"Big cocks in Asian mouths?"
Inuyasha's left eye twitched in shock as he saw naked women on the cover with man hood in their mouths. People in Kagome's time did that? It wasn't that bad, he could pretend he never saw it and picture Kagome doing that to him, but then Mom came over wondering what he was talking about and screamed when she saw it.
"Inuyasha, what are you doing with these!"
That was the end of helping clean out the shed.
As Inuyasha thought back to the horrific events that happened each time he visited Kagome's house, he wondered if he should just stay in the feudal era when Kagome went back. He sighed as he recalled the events that took place earlier this morning...
He had needed to relieve himself, and doing it outside was against the rules - as Kagome put it. She told him to use a thing called a bath-rum. Inuyasha didn't know how to use it, he realized when he walked in and shut the door. But he didn't have time to ask Kagome how, his pisser was going to explode.
Unfastening his tie that held his kimono in place, Inuyasha stood in front of the sink and let himself piss in it. Finishing with a happy sigh, he tucked himself back in his kimono and went to the toilet to clean his hands. He remembered then that Kagome had reminded him to use 'sopp' and wondered just what sopp was. He looked under the cupboard and found a small box. Maybe this was it?
He opened the box and pulled out a large narrow piece of cloth. It felt soft in his hands. Maybe he could sleep on it instead of using a hard branch in a tree. Would Kagome mind? Probably not, she liked to share with him.
He held it in his hand and wondered if he could use it to wash himself with it, like a bathing cloth. He dipped it in the toilet and prepared to cleanse his face when he jumped back as it exploded into a huge squishy cloth.
"Wow!" Inuyasha said, peeking out from the tub.
He climbed out and examined it, then threw the whole box in the toilet. He was having fun dancing around with the squishy fluff when Kagome opened the door, asking if he was alright. She stared open mouthed in mock horror as she witnessed him dancing around her womanly products. He definitely got a good sitting for that.
Inuyasha sat on Kagome's bed while she cleaned up the latest mess he produced. She wasn't one to cuss but this time he must have really overdone it, because she called him every name she could think of. He knew it was wrong, but it wasn't like he didn't do it in the feudal era; he would just blame it on a bear or something.
But using Buyo as the blame didn't work so well. Kagome was cleaning the bathroom and he had been getting awful pains holding himself in. He would have gone outside but Souta and his friends were outside playing. No one was around so he dropped his pants and did the dirty.
He had almost made his escape when Kagome let out a screech and called his name. His plan on blaming it on the cat had been a good resolving at the time, but Kagome was smarter.
She stood beside the large clump that not even a tiger could produce. She pointed her index finger towards it, as she stood there in complete rage. "Inuyasha, what the fuck is this?"
Inuyasha was about to make a run for the well when Gramps walked in, blocking his only escape. He gaped at what he saw, looked at Kagome's expression then turned to Inuyasha.
"You shit yourself, son?"
