A/N: Because I love KotoUmi and they are my first OTP, here is a one-shot of them. I tried my best to write this even though I was busy with some paperworks last last week, I had some free time today because this week is exams week for us, so I finished it. I already have written a few pages of update for Love Marginal's Ch. 3, so I might update this week or next week.
Anyways, with that said and before I babble off, here is it is, I hope you enjoy the one-shot. And don't mind the grammar errors or such, I can't always get them all in one reading, I'll come back to fix those errors when I see them anyways.
The Word "Us"
One-shot
Warmth, mixed with the slight cool breeze that gently touched flustered porcelain skin, made Umi sigh softly. It's already 12'o clock in the afternoon and she was strolling out under the sun's warm rays.
Today was her day off from university, which the blue haired teen viewed as a blessing due to the much needed rest from all the papers that was taking a good room or two on her desk, but this being her day off didn't mean that she would laze off.
She might have wanted to stay at home, but when Umi got a call from her cheerful childhood friend to come over, no matter how much Umi felt the need to sleep off for the whole day, she decided that she would go over to Kotori's place.
It had been so long since she had seen Kotori too, as both were busy with their own studies, and the fact that the other girl wouldn't really call that much unless it was something important perked Umi's attention. It was also polite to come, seeing as how she got invited.
That, and Umi just couldn't refuse the other girl, not when Kotori would whine softly and beg for her. It was just hard to refuse the brunette when she was being awfully too cute for her own good.
There were several occasions that Umi could recall on with her childhood friend being overly adorable and on those said occasions, Umi had not once denied her of anything that she could offer or do for Kotori, especially that one time during their high school years when Kotori had pleaded her to do the lyrics for their first song as a school idol group.
Of course, Umi had to do it. It was embarrassing but she had no choice, not when Kotori was looking at her with glistening amber orbs and begging cutely—it was just too hard to refuse.
'Is this what they call being whipped?' Umi sighed, shaking her head afterwards, pushing off the thought out of her head and simply chose not to think and just travel to her destination.
She turned around a corner and descended down the stairs, walking over near the side where the cool shade was. Umi travelled slow, simply taking time in her travel, not wanting to appear in front of Kotori's doorstep all dishevelled and sweaty.
Umi was dressed properly for the small meet-up and wouldn't want to ruin it. It was very evident on how much preparation she took as she was clad in a white blouse with a cute black ribbon on her collar, an blue denim jacket topping her blouse and a black frilly skirt, a golden lace-up sandals and a black beret to finish off her outfit—overall, a cute outfit that Umi felt proud of.
It had been hard to dress up cutely at first, as Umi was used to wearing simple one-piece dresses, but with Kotori's help, combining clothes together in matches and style was now easy for the young blue haired teen. Her childhood friend did love fashion and loved making designs and dresses, over the years' course, the brunette had gotten better at her passion.
It was not much of a wonder now on how much stylish Kotori was in terms of clothing and her taste for colours, fabrics and accessories if one were to consider that. Although the simple knowledge of how dreadful Kotori was when considering a shopping trip made Umi cringe.
The memories of her last shopping trip with Kotori made her sigh in exhaustion, it was fulfilling in the end, but overly exhausting too. It was worth it though since she was able to spend so much time with her dear childhood friend.
Unlike Honoka, whom Umi would always see and get to hang out with—Kotori was a different case.
Because the brunette went to a different university to chase her dreams in becoming a designer, she couldn't be in the same university that Honoka and Umi went to, and that had been a problem since it was only twice in a week that they had the time to see her.
Honoka was at first compelled to join Kotori in her university too but back down on the thought after being persuaded by the young brunette to stay at where she was, the thought of not wanting to bother Honoka weighing in her mind more than the earnest thought of wanting her best friends with her.
Umi already knew and felt how much Kotori missed them, but they had no choice but to go with how the flow is now because she knew that this day would come, when little by little they would have to part ways with one another.
Still, Umi held on the small chances of keeping contact with her friends, even the other Muse members. They all planned out to have a get-together every other week, which somehow, in a surprising manner, worked out well and it was something worth thanking for.
This was why small opportunities and spare time to meet up had always been a blessing, it may as well be the reason why Umi did not refuse Kotori's offer too. Although she did not want to admit it passionately and whiningly like Honoka does—Umi misses having Kotori beside her.
Umi viewed Kotori has her most important and special person—the brunette after all has been with her through thick and thin and through every insane perks Honoka always dragged them since their childhood days.
The most special and essential part of their relationship too was that she and Kotori were not just comrades and best friends, but also—lovers.
Although the bad side of it was that their relationship was kept a secret from their friends and family, considering how taboo it was, not just by religious terms but also moral ones. Still, no matter how forbidden it was, Umi felt a swell of pride in her heart because they love each other and nothing matters but that.
It did somehow pained Umi to remember the storms of emotion they had gone through before becoming lovers, especially that time when Kotori had broken down in front of her after confessing her love for the blue haired girl.
At that time, Umi had not expected nor felt that Kotori's love for her would weigh much more than friendship, which had been an issue and a main problem.
Umi thought that their friendship would be crushed into nothing during that time, but after some much needed time and patience, it did work out in the end when she realized how much Kotori meant to her that her feelings too, weighed more than just friendship—it was a mutual love.
Umi shyly approached love, although unsure of the future of their relationship, Kotori helped her and held her hand through everything.
Since after that, her relationship with Kotori had been nothing but sweet, pure and happy—and the fact Kotori had the knack of spoiling Umi a lot with her love through cuddles, hugs and kisses on the cheeks, which, on more than several occasions had made Umi flustered and speechless—even right now, just the thought of it made her as red beet as a tomato.
Stopping a moment for a break, Umi covered her face with her right arm, golden orbs averting from sidewalk. The evident hue of red staining her cheeks with its colour, the rush of warmth going to her head following close; Umi couldn't help but sigh softly.
"Mou…"
"I don't think I'll ever get used to this feeling…Kotori."
o=o=o=o
Clattering sounds of plates and cups and a soothing humming of a cheerful song echoed through the kitchen of the Minami household, where a certain young brunette diligently prepared the dinner table for lunch, bouncing around in a state of joy—the reason being the visit of her dear childhood friend and lover's arranged visit.
Once done with the dishware, the brunette placed fresh flowers onto the vase as she decorated the table, the fresh plants fitting in well and giving a cosy and calm atmosphere. Kotori beamed to herself with pride and in triumphant happiness at her finished handiwork.
"Wai! It's so cute~" The brunette chirped joyfully, clapping her hands together as she praised the arrangement of the tableware.
"I hope Umi-chan would like this." She sighed, thinking of her other half in a dreamy state, her eyes glittering and a soft tender smile curving on her lips.
Just thinking about her blue haired childhood friend made her feel at peace and happy and the very thought of Umi praising Kotori for her preparation just made the brunette want to jump in a bubble of bliss.
Kotori knew she was being a bit dreamy and delusional at some points during her relationship with Umi, but she would love to think that everything would always be warm, fluffy and happy with her.
She likes her, no—Kotori loves Umi.
Even though it was wrong in more than one way, she loves the older girl more than she ever imagined she could feel. It would be selfish of her to say that she wants to own Umi, but the moment Umi opened her heart to Kotori, the feeling of never wanting to let go and to always be the one closest next to her made Kotori want to do everything to please her.
Call her possessive and she wouldn't care. She knows, although Kotori tries not to make it obvious, but she is fond of Umi and always had a special place in her heart for the older teen.
Kotori would never try to chain Umi down if the blue head wished to part ways but right now, the brunette would never give her up, not to anyone, not even to her other childhood best friend, Honoka.
Although she already knew that Honoka never felt that kind of romantic feelings for Umi, Kotori could never be too sure. Love comes out spontaneously and unexpectedly, like her own affections. Kotori could never be too sure about it, that's why she felt jealous of the orange head for having every chance she had to see Umi more than Kotori herself could.
She wouldn't hold it up against Honoka though. Kotori just didn't like the unpleasant nauseating feeling inside her head whenever she thinks of Umi suddenly leaving her or falling for someone else.
It was not like Kotori didn't trust Umi though, she knew that her best friend would never see anyone behind her back, but it fears her, the fact that their relationship is a sin itself became a huge burning fuel to the ache in her heart and the unpleasant doubts that evades her.
She hates it—because the thought of Umi leaving her was not far from happening. It could happen anytime in the future or even in the present.
It was not like everything she loves and has would always stay with her forever. She wasn't a fool to think they would be hers until her death, even her time with her friends would soon diminish and the love of her life won't ever be hers again.
That is how life's course is—it hurts just that much to be aware of that.
That's why Kotori loved fluffy, cute and happy things, because it makes her feel comfortable, away from the pain that would put her down.
Delusions like that however, would never remain to keep her shielded just like how she would never have everything she treasures to be with her forever.
A small pained sound leaks out of Kotori's parted lips, and to the brunette's displeasure, she grits her teeth together as she suppressed any other sounds from leaking out, her greyish-brown fringes covering her eyes as clutched her chest tightly.
"Haha…this, it feels the same as before…" Kotori whispers. Remembering this sensation in her chest just makes her feel sad and guilty.
This kind of pain felt the same as when she first confessed to Umi—the first time she ever attempted to be selfish and almost wrecked their friendship to pieces.
Remembering it was too bitter and sour—just like the taste inside her mouth.
o=o=o=o
Umi hummed thoughtfully, her brows furrowed together in concentration as she looked through the mirror and eyed on the delectably sweet desserts displayed inside the pastry shop. Although she knew that she could not tarry any longer than what was necessary, the need to buy something for the brunette became an eminent need to be fulfilled.
She wouldn't want to go empty handed to Kotori's place and the fact that the younger girl loves sweet pastries made her want to buy some. It would surely bring a bright smile on the brunette's face—the thought of it already making Umi want to take one and rush out just to see her.
Itching to do just that, Umi pinched herself and attempted to continue browsing the goods in hopes of a getting a wonderful gift, although she already wants to see Kotori, she can't be hasty in picking out something for her, it should be Kotori's favourite.
Diligently, trained and focused golden orbs scanned through the other displays, a large smile appearing as she sees something that caught her attention, unable to hold herself from her happy state, Umi called out for assistance and pointed out her favoured dessert like a child who just saw her favourite toy.
Surely, this treat is something Kotori would surely love.
o=o=o=o
A few minutes has already passed since Kotori finished her preparation and still, the older girl had yet to arrive. Kotori wanted to go out and meet her already, the feeling of impatience rising too fast inside her. She didn't want to be stuck at home feeling like this, all anxious and depressed at where her train of thoughts were taking her.
The emptiness inside the Minami residence also did not help at least one bit either to lighten up her mood. Her mother was at Otonakizaka Academy, doing her job as a chairwoman and her father was in abroad, working. She didn't have any siblings either. Kotori was an only child, leaving her with no one but she herself inside this lonely house.
Unable to stop herself, Kotori frowned sadly—this was the reason why she was always out of the house, visiting Honoka or Umi or preferably staying at school or working at her part-time job as the legendary famous maid "Minalinsky" at a café in Akihabara, because it felt lonely to be at home alone.
The happiness that helped her in maintaining a happy state earlier was already drained out of her system, making the feeling of lonesomeness evident.
Bringing her legs up to the couch the brunette has comfortably perched on; Kotori wraps her arms around her legs, pulling them close to her chest so she could bury her face, her long silken greyish-brown tresses obscuring her face from view.
"Where are you, Umi-chan…?" Kotori meekly asked to no one but herself. She felt weak and small in a place filled with no one but her. It made Kotori feel cold inside, she didn't like this feeling.
The stillness and silence was unnerving, it felt suffocating.
"Umi-chan…" Kotori whispered the older teen's name, hoping that her best friend would show up magically in front of her doorstep.
The need to hear Umi's comforting voice and her words of encouragement made Kotori seek her even more.
The strong and kind Umi, she needs her, the one who would always notice if something was going wrong or if she was feeling down. That kind and caring Umi that would always help her through and listen to her no matter what the topic would be.
Kotori needs her, more than anyone.
Kotori had been aware of it, how weak she was and how useless she would be without her two best friends. Unlike them, she wasn't as strong and brave. Kotori was always hiding behind their backs.
Always, always being protected—they would always be there, in front of her, to shield away the painful and depressing moments. And as useless as she is, Kotori clung to them tightly and desperately. The wish to never be apart always remaining in her heart and mind.
She would be lost without them.
Even if there were times she tried to look strong, in all truths, Kotori knew she was near to the point of tittering and breaking. There was no way she could face things head on like how the two would in their own little ways.
She was the most indecisive one out of the three of them—she would just cower away and remain silent without trying to do anything.
Just like the case when she almost left Japan and her inability to tell Honoka about this certain issue. Kotori already knew she could never live in another country and study there without the two of her childhood friends beside her.
Kotori didn't even have the guts to look at her mother for too long when she left the train station to the airport. The brunette would have cried and crumbled in front of her mother at the thought of being all alone by herself in a totally different country.
There had always been a need to cling to someone, to be beside someone to help her out and to help her settle her feet on the ground—in a way, Kotori guiltily felt that she is constricting and pulling everyone down, that she is becoming too much of a burden to them.
Before Kotori could further continue on thinking depressingly, a loud knock came from the direction of the doorstep.
Startled out of her reverie, Kotori hastily sat up, letting a few of the cushions to fall off from the couch as she hopped out of the couch and ran to the direction of the noise, not caring whether it seemed unladylike of her and opened the door as swiftly as she could.
Puffing in short breaths, Kotori stared at the person in front of her, the look of genuine relief and happiness shining in her slightly teary pair of amber orbs as she stared into a pair of startled golden orbs that looked.
"K-Kotori…? Is there something wrong?" Umi asked, not bother to politely greet the brunette, worried about the state of the younger girl.
The brunette shook her head in response to the question, wiping off any tears that threatened to fall down to her cheeks.
"A-Ahh…umm…I-I'm sorry if I made you wait though…" The blue head shuffled her foot, a bit embarrassed at her tardiness.
It was wrong to make the brunette wait too long, but Umi had forgotten it, too focused in preparing the present. She had to give Kotori a proper explanation.
"I didn't mean it though… I only took so long because I was trying to bu—" Before Umi could even finish her statement, Kotori didn't wait any further and wrapped her arms around the older teen's neck, pulling her in a tight hug.
"Umi-chan…" The brunette murmured, contentedly buried her face onto the crook of Umi's neck.
Dumbfounded and surprised, Umi could only blush as she balanced her and Kotori's weight while keeping the box of sweet treats safe in another hand and the other hand placed on the small back of the brunette.
Umi, unable to hide her bewilderment, murmured the younger girl's name in confusion, clueless of what was going on right now;
"K-Kotori…?"
o=o=o=o
The lunch had passed by successfully and peacefully with Kotori and Umi conversing happily about their studies and the current things happening in their sides, although the events prior to that had been somewhat confusing and spontaneous, it wouldn't just go away. It still had left an imprint inside Umi's mind due to the question forming in her head.
What happened? And what was wrong?
Although Kotori is the type to surprise her with a hug every now and then, the fact that Umi saw her teary eyed made her worried. It wasn't normal to see the brunette in such a state, the only time she saw Kotori near to tears or in tears was the first time the younger girl had confessed to her—and that had been two years ago.
This was a different case, that's why it worries Umi. She didn't know what was going on or what had happened, whatever it might have been, it seems that it had upset Kotori.
"Ne, Kotori…" Umi called out, while she swirled the cool liquid in her glass, uninterested in it, finding it more interesting to have her attention on Kotori rather than just this iced tea
"Hmm? What's wrong, Umi-chan?" The younger girl looked up from her staring at her glass of iced tea and looked at her companion across the table, tilting her head in confusion.
"I don't want to be rude, but is there something bothering you?" Umi straightforwardly asked, pair of golden orbs staring straight into Kotori's own pair of amber ones, searching and questioning. It gave Kotori the chills, as if Umi was trying to pry into her thoughts.
Although she wanted as much to tell Umi what was bothering, the fact that her visit here was supposed to be to spend some happy quality time with one another, Kotori did not want to impose her with any depressing thoughts.
Umi has enough worries to think about too, it would be too much to rely too much to her kindness. It would be abusing it.
It would seem more that Kotori would just become a bigger burden to the older girl. Kotori didn't want that, so even if her heart pleaded to be set free from the anxiety of the future of their relationship and their friendship, she hid them, in hopes to continue on happily.
"Why do you ask…?" Kotori fidgeted, while trying to smile in hopes of keeping her calm. It was obvious though that no matter how much she tries to hide it, Umi would see through her acts. She was that sharp—this was Umi she was talking to after all.
"It's just that…earlier, you seemed like you were about to cry."
"I hope you aren't upset with my question though. I'm just worried about you." Umi averted her eyes from Kotori's now questioning gaze, simply staring back at her glass, waiting for the brunette to answer her.
"I…nothing's wrong, Umi-chan…"
"Please tell me, I want to know whatever it is that is worrying you, Kotori." Umi asked the other girl pleadingly, reaching out for Kotori's hand as she held it firmly but gently. Umi didn't want to just shrug off whatever it was that was making Kotori like this, she didn't want to be left in the dark and wondering until the issue grew bigger.
She would fail the brunette's best friend and lover—that would just mean that she wasn't worthy to be beside Kotori, and Umi did not like the thought of it.
"Umi-chan…" Kotori murmured the blue head's name softly, tenderly grasping the warmth of Umi's hands, finding courage in spilling her worries due to the concern her childhood friend was giving her.
"You see…Ever since we went to university…I only get to see you and Honoka-chan so little unlike before."
"It's been really lonely and depressing, I can't help but keep missing you and how we were all together before, that it scares me that one day…I'll be all alone." Kotori smiled sadly, recalling the times she would spend her time in university staring far off and having trains of wishful thinking of just wanting to go back to the past where she was always with them.
Separation and distance was painful like that—Kotori wasn't used to it.
"It also frightens me when Umi-chan isn't around, I feel like you'll suddenly disappear from me…" The brunette admitted, in a silent whisper that only she and Umi could hear. It took Umi aghast, she knew Kotori is missing them, but she never knew that she is feeling this badly that she is thinking of this kind of thoughts.
"Ko…tori…"
"Hehehe…I'm sorry, I feel like I'm being silly and selfish."
Kotori loosened her grip on Umi's hands and took them back, resolving onto fidgeting with the hem of her white sundress.
"I'm not doubting your loyalty in any way…I just…don't know how I'll be if that time would come."
"I know I shouldn't be selfish, but I always want to be the closest to Umi-chan."
The brunette did not look up; she didn't dare to look at the startled wide eyes of her beloved, she wouldn't know what to do if she did, instead of waiting for a reply—Kotori continued on talking.
"I shouldn't be selfish like this…the reason why we got hurt two years ago in the first place, was all because of me."
"I should think more of what you want than what I want…"
"I'm sorry…"
The conversation somehow ended, silently after the brunette apologized and bowed. It had been awkward to say the least. It still took Umi back, although she was already aware why Kotori would think like that. Kotori did just say that it was because she had confessed to her before that almost broke down their friendship—Umi didn't want to agree that it was all because of the brunette's fault.
She never did have a fault in it and Umi never saw it that way.
Not wanting to leave the conversation hanging like this in an awkward and one-sided state, Umi took the courage to speak out what she thought, she might not be like Honoka who always talks on an impulse of feelings and rush of thoughts, Umi knew what she had to say and do to make Kotori feel better, not because it was a task, but because she wants to and that it is right to correct the brunette's thought process.
"That's not true. You shouldn't feel the need to apologize."
"Please don't think like that, don't lower yourself down either. You're more wonderful than what you think you are, Kotori." Umi passionately stated, staring straight at the brunette in front of her, reaching up to take her hand once more.
Umi did not need to have any concrete facts to show Kotori how wonderful she is already, the brunette has always been nothing but wonderful and kind to her since childhood. Without the brunette's constant support and comforting words, she would have been in the Archery club or in Muse either.
"The fact that you act selfishly once in a while makes me happy because you're being honest with your feelings towards me and I'm thankful for that." Umi fondly spoke, as if remembering something happy.
If Kotori wasn't the foundation supporting her, Umi wouldn't be the kind of person she is, that's why the older girl thanked the brunette's presence in her life.
It wasn't always constant that Honoka was there for her, the orange head also had a lot of circle of friends other than Kotori and Umi, but because Kotori had always been kind and stuck next to her, Umi felt the comforts of not having to be alone in her childhood years.
"I know I never give back that much and it has become unfair…but please, don't ever feel like you'll be walking down in a future, alone."
"Honoka and Me, everyone, will be there beside you." The blue head firmly stated, voice never wavering, not even one bit.
"And…please don't just carry that kind of anxiety. You have me, us…"
The smile curving up Umi's lips was tender and soft, just like how Kotori always remembered the older teen's smiles were. Kotori just could not help but stare at her best friend, flustered as the feeling of warmth rushed to her heart and face.
"The word 'Us' is composed of you and me, not just only one of these two. That's why you shouldn't ever feel that you're alone."
"Even if our relationship is uncertain in the future, there will always be an 'Us' and I'll always be there to make sure it will stay like that."
Kotori grasped her chest with her free hand, feeling her heart beat faster the usual. The way Umi reassured her and told her of such things made her heart raise and leap. It was becoming hard not to continue to fall for someone as wonderful as the older girl.
If it was even possible, Kotori would fall in love all over again with her.
The brunette looked down at their linked hands, eyes closed as she took each of Umi's words into heart, slowly, like the warmth of the sun shining down in the morning, the worries that had been constantly disturbing Kotori were dissipating away.
"Umi-chan… Thank you."
"Your welcome—"
"—and thank you too, for always staying beside me, Kotori." Umi beamed, staring straight into the shining happy amber orbs that were now staring back into her.
In a whim, the older teen stood up and lifted Kotori's hand, aware of the questioning and confused gaze the brunette was focusing on her. Though slightly embarrassed about what she was going to do, Umi did not back down and placed a light kiss on top of her princess' lovely palm, making Kotori gape, even more flustered than before.
Taking a quick glance at the effect Umi caused upon the brunette, she couldn't help but giggle a bit, although she herself was flustered, the fact that Kotori was embarrassed as she was made her feel happy, for some weird reason that Umi herself didn't know.
All Umi knew is that she is happy and content right now with her relationship with Kotori and she hopes that it would always remain like this in the future years to come.
"I love you."
A/N: That wraps up the one-shot, this might very well be a scene that would likely be connected to Love Marginal if it ever ended happily, was what I thought of this one-shot. At least that is what it seems like to me.
Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it, even for a bit. Hope to see you again on another one-shot or update! See you later.