BOO
Why hello everyone. Let me introduce myself. I'm Elles. This is chappy one of Georgia Nicolson's side to William Shakespeare's Basset Hound. Hope you enjoy. Remember. I have never written ANYTHING before. So be kind. Please? But I also take CONSTRUCTIVE criticism so don't scream in my face please.
I love Gee Nics. So enjoy. Lots a Luurve. All for Gee and Dave
Saturday June 21st
Up at the crack of 8 30 am
WHO IN THE NAME OF SLIM'S CHIN'S CITY CALLS YOU AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING?? ON A SATURDAY?
Jas that's who.
Picked up the phone
"Gee? Is that you?"
"Unfortunately" I bet she won't sense my seriousosity…
"Oh ok good!" Nope. I thought she wouldn't.
"Anyways Gee, I wanted to tell you, well you know how Tom and I have been together for a long time and eventually everyone knew this was going to happen and finally it did and I'm really excited and so on… "
"I'm sorry Jas I missed the point."
"TOM AND I ARE GETTING MARRIED!!"
Oh no. the Voles are getting married.
"Oh. How lovely Jas I'm so vair happy for you." I try to take interest.
"Um. Yes. Ok Gee well what I was REALLY wanting to ask you is that well you're my bestest mate and I would luurve it if you would be my bridesmaid?"
Puh she thinks she can get me to say yes? At 8 30 on a Saturday morning? I think I will say that to her…
But no, I am a good pally and I will be nice. Wait. No I won't. Kehe I have an idea…
"Jas, I have one thing to ask you first."
"Um ok Gee but make it quick Tom just came in and wants to show me some really exciting leaf he found!"
Leaf?
"Hm yes Jas I wanted to ask you, before I decide if I will be your maid of honour or not I need you to say one thing."
"What's that Gee?"
"Do you love me Jas?"
Kehe
1 Minute Later
"Jas?"
"Yes?"
"Say you love me Jas."
"non"
"oui"
"non"
"BLOODY OUI OK JAS?"
"Hummph." Uh ohh Humpty Dumpty. "Fine. Gee I love you"
YES SHE GAVE IN. I am the queen. Actually. I don't think I would like to be the queen. She has huge nungas. I wouldn't want to be like that. And as a matter of fact she's 80. Or something around that. She is WAY in the Elderly Loons category. Oh my I have forgotten about Jas.
"Of course Jas, I would love to be your maid of honour and wear vole suits at your wedding!"
"Georgia, you're not going to wear vole suits…" Uh oh humpty dumpty!!
"They will be perfectly normal bridesmaid dresses."
Hmm.. I better think this through..
2 Minutes later
"Gee? Are you still there?"
"I'm thinking."
"Gee you've been thinking for 2 minutes. I'd start getting worried…"
"It better not be made out of vole poo, or cuckoo spit… or even vole fur."
"GEE IT IS NOT MADE OUT OF ANY WILD ANIMALS SPIT, POO OR FUR!"
Phoaw. If there wasn't a great channel called the English Channel I think she would've come over here and strangled me.
"Hm… Ok. When do I have to start coming back over to Billy Shakespeare Land?"
5 Seconds later
"Jas, what are you doing?"
"Thinking."
"About what?"
"When you should come back over."
…
My Lord Sandra she's annoying. I don't know why I put up with her. There's obviously no point in doing so. But I am such a good person and if I didn't listen I wouldn't get any information from Radio Jas here.
89 Years later
"Um Tom says he can get you tickets for today's plane at 2 o clock this afternoon? You can pay him when you get back."
THIS AFTERNOON?
"Um Jas? When exactly is the wedding?"
Pause
"Jas. Your testing my impatience here…"
"Well you see Gee, I was planning to tell you sooner, but the wedding is next month. I would really love it if you could help me prepare. I need to choose my dress soon. Maybe you could help me?"
Maybe I would go rambling with her. The same answer NO.
But why does my mind say otherwise?
"Course Jas I am only your bestest pally in the whole wide world, um will I meet you out the front of the airport?"
"Sorry Gee I can't pick you up. Libby might be able to. She's on holidays now. She might be able to get your Mutti and Vati to pick you up. Is that ok?"
God. The Elderly Loons return.
"Sure. Oh my Jas look at the time I have to get ready for work!"
"But I thought work didn't start for another two hou-"
"TATTY BYE"
Kehe. I hung up.
9am – Getting ready for work
Last day of work before I go back to Billy-Shakespeare-Land. God I miss my mates. I can't wait to catch up with them, especially since I'm going to Jas' wedding. Poor Libbs, I bet she had to listen to Jas rave on about voles and weddings and so on.
1 Minute Later
Probably leaves too.
2 Seconds Later
And Cuckoo spit.
9 30 am – Choosing an outfit
Why am I always in this situation? WHY? I never seem to know what to wear. Hmm… Casual sophisticate or blossoming Sex Kitty?
No. I must never, I REPEAT NEVER, say Sex Kitty again. I am not to let Dave the so-called-laugh into my head. I'm with Robbie now, original Sex God who went to snog wombats in Kiwi-a-gogo-land. Kehe.
3 Seconds later
I bet he snogged sheep too.
3 Seconds later
Hm…
4 Seconds later
Oh yes, where was I before I so RUDELY interrupted myself? Ah yes, Casual Sophisticate or blossoming Sex Kit- … Casual Sophisticate it is then.
10am
Late for work. Again. No... I was only late last time for a reason. It's not every day your Sex God of a boyfriend is performing late and I ACCIDENTALLY slept in until 1 in the afternoon. I mean, it could happen to anybody you know? (And I think you do). But who cares? Not me that's who.
5 minutes later
I'm so happy. I'm back with Robbie. Living in HIS APPARTMENT. In HIS FRANCE. Wait. No.. I was never good at geography but I do know that Robbie does NOT own France. But once we are SQUILLIONARES I'm sure we will. Sigh. I miss Robbie. He left to tour Ireland 3 days ago. He won't be back for Jas' wedding then…
Dave will probably be at the wedding though. WOAH. How did he get in here? GET OUT! OUT I SAY.
Hm thank you. Gosh translating is vair tiring. I could sleep right here right now. I think I shall catch up on some beauty sleep … Zzzzzzz
15 minutes later
Woken quite rudely to the sound of some FULE in my department demanding to see a translator. I think he has had one too many Italian vino tintos by the looks of it. Especially because he is a translator himself. And translated it into both languages right there.
OH WELL. Some people can't be told can they?
2pm – Calling Libs
"Hello"
"Libby is that you?"
"Gee!"
"Hey Libbs! How are things?"
"Boring"
"Yeah, I guessed."
"What about you? How's France?"
"France is good. But Guess what? Jas and Tom ar-"
"Getting Married, I know"
"How do you-?"
"Bumped into Jas at Boots"
"Bloody Radio Jas, Bet she didn't tell you I was maid of honour!"
"Really, Awesome"
"And that I'm coming back to England for the Wedding!
"Double Awesome!!"
"I'll also be there tonight"
"Double Awesome with knobs!"
"OK, so I'll see you tonight"
"OK, Bye"
"Bye"
Yay! God I miss Libbs. I can't wait to see her tonight. Oh bum I forgot to ask her to pick me up from the airport. Oh well. I better start packing. As you all very well know, I have to get ready to leave. I'm a bit nervy about seeing Dave though… I haven't seen him since... heaps long. I miss him singing that great classic "The Hills are Alive with the Sound of PANTS". Still… I hope it isn't awkward.
Well at least I'll be able to see Libbs tonight. I can't believe thy Elderly Loons have trashed my room with bits of WUBBISH that they call gym equipment. Even though Vati is "supposedly" keeping in "shape" (and no ROUND is not a shape) he is still fat. I'm sorry but it must be said.
8pm England Time
Gosh. I totally forgot to ring Libbs. She has to pick me up.
Ringing Libbs
"Hello, Libby Here"
"Libs! I'm Glad you picked up the phone"
"Who else would?"
"Mutti or Vati? Wouldn't They?"
"No, they're Drunk at a party at Uncle Eggy's"
"Uncle Eggy's?"
"Sorry, Old habitats die hard"
"Does that mean we have the house to ourselves?"
"Yep"
"Yes! But, no…"
"What?"
"I need someone to pick me up, but Vati isn't home"
"I'll pick you up"
"You can't Drive, Idiot"
"I have friends you know"
"Ok, Fine, I'll see you soon"
"Pip Pip"
"Pip Pip"
Friends? That would be hard to believe if she still acted like she did when she was 4. THAT was scary.