A/N: Hello, my friends. Time for a random oneshot, brought to you by HyperAndProudOfIt!

Disclaim me, if you dare: I don't own the Kane Chronicles. Or Puss in Boots. However, I do often use the Puss in Boots Face on my brothers .

"Carter!" Felix shouted, racing towards me. I looked up from the scroll I was reading, and saw the penguin-obsessed nine-year-old racing towards me, with Cleo from Rio at his heels. Both were out of breath when they screeched to a stop in front of me.

"What's up, guys?" I asked, setting the scroll aside on top of the pile beside me. I had been trying to figure out what spell to teach the trainees next (preferably, one that wouldn't blow everything up. Yeah, Julian, I'm looking at you).

"Puss In Boots is out in the theatre can we go can we go can we go?" Cleo said so fast I didn't understand her.

"Did you just say Madonna is in Times Square and you really want to meet her?" I asked, weirded out and making an 'o.O' face.

Felix sighed impatiently. "She said that Puss In Boots the Movie is out in the theaters and we want to go see it."

"Ooooohhhhh." I thought for a minute. Getting the younger trainees out of the mansion might be a good idea. But then again, was it a good idea to let the kids out all together? I could think of a million different scenarios that might happen, and all of them included bacon, the fire department, and Taylor Swift.

In other words, the only downside was the fire department.

"Pretty please?" Cleo asked hopefully. She clasped her hands together and opened her eyes really wide, pouting.

Must... Resist... Adorable... Little girl...

"Fine!" I finally broke. Cleo and Felix clapped their hands and jumped up and down.

"The Puss In Boots Face always works!" Felix exclaimed. Before I could ask what that meant, Cleo dragged him off to tell some of the other younger trainees. I shook my head and wondered what the heck I had just gotten myself into.

"Remind me again why I am here," Zia said, uncomfortably eyeing the giant movie theatre screen mounted on the wall in front of us.

"Because I was too scared to bring them here by myself and Sadie was being emo again," I whispered back.

"Emo?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

Somewhere in Brooklyn House, Sadie looked up from her pictures of Anubis and Walt, and shouted "Hey!".

"Don't ask," I recommended. She nodded and turned her attention back to the screen.

Cleo sat beside me, bouncing up and down in her seat with excitement. I hadn't seen her like this since Selena Gomez finally broke up with Justin Bieber.

Felix sat at Zia's left side, stuffing popcorn in his mouth, his eyes the size of that weird guinea pig's from Bedtime Stories.

Zia, who sat at my left, looked extremely uncomfortable. I couldn't blame her - I was pretty sure it was the first time she had ever been in a movie theatre in her life.

Well, that, and a couple of teenage boys were eyeing her up, turned around while sitting in the row in front of us. I felt ready to leap over the seats and strangle them, but then Cleo and Felix squealed that the movie had started.

10 minutes in and I had a hunch Zia might have been hooked.

"Oh my God!" Zia hissed to me, "Look at his little sword!"

"Yeah, Zia. I see it."

Five minutes later: "And look at his little boots!"

"Mhm, Zia. I see them."

Two seconds later: "Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!"

"Zia, he just kicked a dude's ass! How is that cute?"

"It just is!" Cleo and Zia chorused. I facepalmed.

Yeah. Just a hunch.

Finally, it was over. I made sure Felix and Cleo were with us and then just about dragged them out of the theatre, assuming Zia was following us.

"That was awesome!" Felix practically shouted. Cleo high fived him.

"Carter, did you see when he did that face?" Cleo sighed happily.

"Yeah," I grumbled, "Same face that you guys used to convince me and Zia to bring you here."

Cleo smiled sheepishly. And then Felix looked around and asked, "Hey, where is Zia?"

"What do you mean?" I spun around and cursed. Zia wasn't anywhere behind us.

I grabbed Felix and Cleo's hands and dragged them back into the movie theatre.

"Zia?" I called.

"There she is!" Felix pointed towards a corner of the hallway.

I saw Zia glaring at one of the boys who had been staring at her. He seemed to be flirting, and she was trying to get him to go away.

"Stay here," I ordered the kids. They nodded and watched with wide eyes as I marched over to Zia and the boy.

"C'mon, I'll buy you a drink," The boy was saying, smiling flirtily. (Yes, 'flirtily' is a word!)

"No," Zia insisted. She didn't seem to see me as I walked up behind the guy, ready to tap on his shoulder and politely ask him to leave her alone.

I didn't need to. Zia pulled her staff out of the duat and brandished it like a sword.

"Fear me," She said (in a perfect Spanish accent, no less), "If you dare."

The guy held his hands up, laughing. She knocked him unconscious with her staff. He crumpled to the ground, leaving me standing there behind him. I gawked at Zia. She shrugged and smiled angelically.

"Remind me," I muttered, "To never bring Zia to a movie involving swords and Spanish cats."

One year later:

"Carter, can we go see Puss in Boots Two?"

"!"

A/N: LOL. *Cracks up* Damn, that was fun to write. Anyway...

Review?