Ah.. I can't write anything but genderbending.. Forgive me! -bows deeply-
Well, I certainly don't own Hetalia.
(Half the time, I don't even like some pieces of le fandom, thanks to the new craptastic audience the dub has created. Seriously! I got someone who kept trying to get me to NOT write RusPru, since apparently, FranPru is the most amazing couple ever.. blah blah blah.. IF YOU DON'T EFFING LIKE IT, DON'T READ.)
Yeah.. they may be ooc because I NEVER write the Nordics. Tips in a review would be lovely~ :3
Denmark, Norway, and Iceland were visiting the house Finland and Sweden shared. Mainly because the meeting was being held in that town. Finland hadn't wanted her companions to go through the trouble of hotels, so she convinced Sweden to let them stay here.
After an odd meal, cooked entirely by the Finnish woman, they were lounging in the living room. The Nordic nations had been far too busy for a while, and this allowed them time to catch up.
Matthias, being the idiot he was, began teasing the female nations.
Lilija and Aldis had long since learned to block him out, so he was down to bugging Tina now.
"And I mean, hey, it's not like you're completely useless. I'm just sure that while Sweden was defending you and all that, you were making sandwiches for the army."
Sweden, with his ever-present glare, looked up from his laptop. "I w'uldn't s'y th't 'f I w're y'u.."
The Danish man completely ignored Sweden's warning, wondering why he wasn't kicking his ass for trying to rile them up. "And then they would've thrown them at the enemy, since your cooking could work way better than any grenade, even any bomb!"
Berwald only shook his head. That foolish bastard..
"But Sweden was the one that fought me off, a superpower, and he couldn't keep you from Russia? I mean, can't you fight ANY of your own battles?"
Tina twitched as Matthias rambled on, until she couldn't stand it.
She ripped him up by his shirt collar, while the other nations calmly peeped at the situation. The Fin ripped a rifle off of the wall, dragging him outside. "You think I'm useless? Well, who was it that kicked your ass when we were kids? I'm sure we all fought on a normal bases in the Viking times, and you still bear the fruits of your idiocy."
The Dain held up his hands in defense, wishing the nosy Nordics, out of Tina's sight, would help him. "Now now, no need to hurt me.."
"I wasn't going to.. but.." She rammed him in the chest with her rifle, pulling him to the open window. This side of the house held a full view of the town, not to mention it was on the second floor. However, it was still a few miles away from the actual town.
How the fuck was she supposed to show him something? As he tried to catch his breath, she handed him some binoculars. "Watch."
Following her command after taking one frightened look at the blonde, he found himself staring at an occupied bench in the park.
"Dammit, why does bruder always have to take me to the freezing places?" The Prussian grumbled, sneezing.
Her Russian companion only giggled. "The cold is normal for me, da?"
"Good for you.." She huffed, tightening her thin jacket around her.
He held out a large bottle, smiling. "This will warm you up, if you drink some~"
Before Prussia could grab it, the bottle shattered. The very sound of something whizzing by made the Eastern European nations jump back in unison.
"Gillian! Wasn't that frightening? And now I'm wet.." Russia mumbled, hugging Prussia close. "In this cold, we could warm each other up by taking off our clothes, da?"
The Germanic nation decided it was time to high-tail it out of this unawesome situation. "Uh.. no. Let's go warm up in a bar or something.."
The Russian grunted in disapproval, but followed Prussia, taking her hand in the process.
Matthias was jerked in a different direction. "Now look here." Tina commanded forcefully, as she readied for another shot.
Korea glanced at all of the breasts here. "Yao, these people have such big breasts, da-ze! Can I grope them? Can I?" He excitedly gibbered, not noticing the sinking expression in China's face.
"I see.. so that's how you feel.." The Chinese girl looked at her absent assets.
Im Yong Soo, however dense, noticed at least this much. "Yao, da-ze~" He groped her, thinking it would make her happy. "You're still best~, don't worry, da-ze!"
Yao was about to smack her in the face, but a bullet shot through his ahoge, leaving him in a state of shock. He grappled at his jeogori, then proceeded to glomp China. "I WAS SCARED, YAO! IT ALMOST HIT MY KOREAN SPIRIT! DA-ZEEE!"
China patted the bawling nation's back, avoiding the eyes of any onlookers.
Why her?
"One more." She took the binoculars, scanning the area for a moment. "Ah.." Tina tossed them back to Denmark, who almost dropped the gear. He looked where she pointed, extremely frightened.
Lovina was hitting the German repeatedly on the chest. "Bastard! Damn potato bastard, asshole, fucker.." She teared up, taking small breaths before starting up the insults again, only weaker. "..stupid jackass..."
Ludwig let the weak hits go on, until she was crying against his chest. Her deep brown hair covered her face. "Lovina, I never said that.." The blonde tried to deny.
"We all know you fucking love Feli! Don't even start!" She tried to push him away, hazel eyes filled with hurt.
"I don't, really.." He tilted her head up. "Only you, liebe.."
A shot fired behind the Italian, making her jump forward. Unfortunately for her, this also made her kiss Ludwig.
The two nations blushed when they separated, steam pooling around them.
"Es tut mir lied..."
"Fuck off.."
Finland glared at Matthias, hoping she made her point.
"You.. er.." He bowed on the ground in front of her. "Take me as your student! I wanna shoot like that!"
"Perkele.." Finland huffed, making Denmark wince. At least some good came out of this, she pondered, as the Fin snatched the binoculars off the floor and peeked at the 'victims'. Her smirk was indiscreet, and Denmark trembled.
And.. I wanted to work on my Nordic writing. It still sucked..
That.. and most people I know were saying the Finnish were a buncha wimps.
So I went on a rant about how the Finnish were the best damn sharpshooters during WW2. :'D
-proud of Fins-
Then I wrote this~ (Know that I was sugar high after finally finishing my Halloween candy...)
Yes, people from cold areas have much bigger breasts.. (Girls or guys. x3)
Germany said: Es tut mir lied- I am sorry.
(I'd like to know if there's another way to say sorry- an easier one, since I'm a dumb American- if you know German.. Danke~ ^^)
The parts in the middle were an attempt at writing after putting it down for a month, and I needed fluff work. Also, they're my current top 3 pairings. I wish there was more of the good stuff between them.. -stares forlornly at sunset-
Seeing as it's Thanksgiving break (I ONLY GET THREE DAYS OFF. DAMN SCHOOL BOARD...) I might shoot out one shots, or I might update WAMV... but I won't do anything if people don't review. :P
EOLS is on a hiatus if you didn't already guess.. -shot-
Stay awesome~! My apologies for yet another ramble.. '= 3=
(b ' 7')b
Review? (I might fan up and actually release stuff... :3)
Oh, and happy Turkey day~