December 23, Christmas Eve Eve
Daniel Howell shifted from foot-to-foot on the airport parking. He checked his watch once more, 3 minutes late. The 24-year-old boy (hehe) was incredibly anxious, not knowing whether or not he wanted to see his family after a few years. His job as a lawyer had recently become so stressful that he had almost been forced to go on hiatus. And now unemployed, Dan had come back to his hometown for the holidays.
"Sweetie!" a loud shout called from across the parking lot, wrenching Dan out of his mini life-reflecting thoughts.
"Oh dear," the young man muttered to himself. A second later, Dan's father and brother had joined in the calling of egregious and embarrassing names for all the public to hear. "Yeah, yeah, I'm coming." Dan couldn't help but smile. He had missed the feeling of being loved so much.
"Oh, my dear Daniel, what have they done to you?" Dan's mother took one look at her son and instantly shook her head. "Don't worry darling, as soon as you get back home, I'll make sure to get you tons of food and sleep." Dan laughed.
"Mum, I'm fine. Honest," he averred, although it was clearly a lie. Dan really needed sleep after countless nights of staying up until the early hours and working all day. Mrs. Howell waved off his protests and shoved the boy into the backseat of the car, where Adrian, Dan's younger brother, sat.
"Hey sweetie," Adrian giggled, teasing Dan about what their mum had called the boy earlier.
"Nice to see you too, darling." Dan immaturely stuck his tongue out at his brother, instantly capitulating a moment later with a laughing fit. It was one of the few times he had felt this happy all year.
"By the way, I heard he's coming home for Christmas this year as well," Adrian waggled his eyebrows and smirked as the car's engine began to start up. Dan sighed.
"Adri, that was 7 years ago! I've completely moved on from Phil Lester," Dan rolled his eyes and sighed again, but his mind decided to betray him. Do you remember three days ago, when you squealed at the thought of maybe seeing him again? Or when you bought a houseplant that reminded you of him? And don't forget that every time you go outside, you dream of scenarios that would occur if you ever bumped into him.
Dan was jolted from his zoning by a sharp prod in his side, "you were just thinking about him weren't you?" Adrian was wearing that disconcerting smirk on his face again.
"Um, wha— no, pshh... We're o-over, no!" Dan managed to stutter out, his face flushed. The 'denial' just caused Adrian to burst into another laughing fit.
"Honey, stop bothering your brother; he's had a long year," their mum butted in.
"Yeah, honey," said Dan.
"And you, Dan, are supposed to be a big boy!"
"Yeah, big boy."
Dan noticed his parents silently shared a smile. The last time they'd had Christmas with the family was three years ago. It must be heartening to see their little boys act as immature as they did a decade ago.
"Here we ar—" Dan's father was saying, but was interrupted by Adrian's car door swinging open and shutting a few second before the car was supposed to stop. "That boy is going to get his neck broken one of these days..."
Dan got out of the car as soon as it stopped and took his luggage out of the trunk. His family house had been repainted a light blue since the last time he saw it. Fairy lights hung along the balconies and windows, and Dan felt himself begin to feel the festivity start to burn in his soul again for the first time in a few years.
When he stepped through the front doors, it was like a wave of nostalgia had hit him upside the head. "Dan, honey, there's going to be a neighborhood Christmas party in a few hours, so could you come help me bake cookies after putting your belongings in your old room?" Mrs. Howell asked.
"Of course, mum." Dan headed up the stairs and entered the first door in the hall. His old room. The walls were still littered with band posters, family photos, photos of friends, and, of course, photos of Phil. Dan tried not to think too hard about them—or what they used to be—as he set his luggage onto the familiar bed sheets. Even after a year, his flat is London had never really seemed like home. Not when all his childhood and favorite memories were here.
Shoving the thought away, Dan quickly yanked his shoes off and focused on the cookies that needed to be baked. And knowing his mom, she would need his help (which was also bad because they are both shit).
Dan set his shoes beside the bed, jumped down the stairs two at a time, and was panting by the time he reached the kitchen. "Looks like someone needs to take a trip to the gym."
"Shut up, Adri. It's not like you're any better."
"Okay boys, here is the batter," Mrs. Howell set a bowl of brown mush in front of Dan and Adrian.
"Why does it smell like sh—poop?" Dan asked, grimacing. "Y'know what, mum? Adrian and I are going to bake some, um, stuff for the party. You should really get some rest before then!" Dan's voice involuntarily squeaked at the end, causing Adrian to laugh uncontrollably.
"Are you sure?" Mrs. Howell asked.
"Yes, yes," Dan hurriedly rushed her out of the kitchen before breathing a sigh of relief. "Right, we're dumping this right now."
Adrian grinned, "great excuse."
"Hey, I saved you."
Dan took the tray of brownies out of the oven, his mouth watering at the smell. Only a few of them were a bit misshape, and they all looked edible, shockingly. "Wow, we actually did something right," Dan said. Adrian sighed from behind him.
"You mean you actually did something right. This house would be a crisp if it wasn't for me." (if you don't understand, Adrian is saying that it is surprising that Dan actually worked on something. He is not giving Dan credit for making the brownies because siblings are like that)
Dan rolled his eyes, set the tray onto the counter, and reached into the cupboard above to pull out a small, rounded rectangular glass container to put the brownies into. "That's so ugly and basic; are we really going to use it?"
"Adri, either you shut up or you get thrown under a school bus. The party is literally in 20 minutes and I still need to change."
"Change into something that blends in with the air? That sounds reasonable." Dan glared at Adrian one last time before heading back to his room to change into something that didn't smell or look like shit and batter. After a few seconds of thought, Dan pulled on a pair of black skinny jeans and a black jumper from his suitcase and dumped the dirty clothes on the floor. He would deal with those later. Dan then pulled on some random black socks and slipped his black shoes back on.
Hope I look enough like I'm going to a funeral, so no one will come talk to me, Dan thought to himself before heading down the hall to his parents' room. "Mum, Dad?"
"Did you and Adrian bake the cookies, hun?" Dan's mum called from behind the closed door. Dan responded with a 'yes.' And then coughed. "Okay, we'll be down in a sec." Dan nodded (even though they couldn't actually see) and trotted back down the stairs.
His parents headed down the stairs after him a few minutes later and they headed over to the Eloes', where the party was going to be held at.
"Here," Adrian handed the brownies to his older brother when they approached the bright house. It was already dark out, and sounds of music and chatter filled the lawns and house.
"Wha—"
Adrian gestured towards a table inside stacked with Christmas themed desserts and was instantly gone a second later. Then, Dan looked closer and realized why. Leaning against the table was none other than Phil Lester.
Phil's head was ducked, most likely to avoid human interaction, and he was eating a small snowman marshmallow. Dan didn't even notice he was staring until Phil finished eating and lifted a hand to brush his fringe out of his face. He was wearing glasses.
Dan cleared his throat and found himself having an internal conversation with his brain about whether or not he was staring. Making up his mind quickly, the former lawyer shoved his fringe into his face, ducked his head, hunched his shoulders, and headed towards the table slowly. He really wasn't ready to have an awkward Oh Look, My Ex! conversation with Phil right now... not even after seven years.
The container in his hand was shaking as soon as Dan was at the table. He couldn't see whether or not Phil had noticed his his presence because of the hair in his eyes.
"I'm not stupid, you know." Dan froze. The container in his hands hovered just above the festive tablecloth with little Rudolphs decorated on it.
"Hey Phil," Dan made his voice sound forced. He set the glass container onto the table and pushed his annoying fringe out of his eyes. Fuck, why did everything have to be so annoying? The Christmas season was supposed to pull him out of his despondent state and shove him into a high-spirited atmosphere. Well that clearly wasn't going to happen with Phil around. Apparently the Phan episode of Oh Look, My Ex! came too soon.
"Dan—" The boy finally looked up, his brown eyes instantly meeting with Phil's blue ones.
"Yeah, nice seeing you too," Dan forced a smile and turned to go, already knowing what Phil was going to do. As if on command, the blue-eyed boy grabbed Dan by the shoulders and turned him slightly.
"Um, yeah... it's definitely time for that awkward ex chat."
An eye roll and some chatting later, the two grown men were walking down the pavement in the neighborhood. Nostalgia racked both of them when they passed by the park and soon, the library, small shopping center... The short walk around the neighborhood turned into a long walk around the town. And not once did they ever mention anything about the past relationship, not once did they talk about their current life. Not once did they talk about anything.
The entire walk had been shrouded in a comfortable silence from the Eloes' house to around town and back again.
"So, uh, see you..." Dan started to say, smiling crookedly. Embarrassingly enough, Dan hadn't even noticed that while walking, he had leaned into Phil a bit too much. After all, he was only wearing a jumper. Phil returned the smile, his cheeks and nose red from the cold. Dan could only hope that his were the same, so no one would notice the blush that was quickly spreading on his face.
"Um, yeah," Phil agreed, smiling a little as well. Dan nodded his head in goodbye (more like ducked his head and kept it there) and began to head off towards the bright lights and loud noises again.
"Dan?" Phil called out to him just when the he was almost out of earshot. "Are-are you alright?" Dan didn't turn around when he replied.
"Yes, why wouldn't I be?"
December 24, Christmas Eve
"Boy, get your fucking ass out of bed!" was the comment Dan woke up to on the glorious morning of Christmas Eve. That, along with a very excited Adrian jumping up and down on the old, creaky bed.
"It's not that day yet," Dan groaned into a pillow. "Go away, or I'll be planning your funeral by the end of the day."
"Speaking of funerals, would you want to get buried with Phil when you die?" Dan scrunched his eyebrows up so much that it almost looked like a unibrow.
"Adri—" there was an obvious sigh to Dan's tone.
"He's here, Dan!" Adrian let out a squeal—much like a giggly schoolgirl who had just managed to talk to her crush. Dan groaned once more, pulling his duvet over his head.
"No he is not," the half-asleep zombie insisted, as if saying it forcefully would make it true. "He is at home, asleep, having wonderful, Dan-free dreams, dancing wi..." Dan's voice faded as he was about to go back to sleep.
"Fucking—" The younger brother didn't even bother to finish his sentence. He began to jump and wouldn't stop for ten minutes straight...
Thirty minutes later, a disheveled looking Dan dressed in black and a smiling angel child, Adrian, welcomed an anomalous Phil into their living room. "I have some, uh, friends to catch!" Adrian laughed and shoved himself out the door, leaving Dan with the one person he never wanted to be alone with ever again. Things had always been awkward whenever they talked after the breakup.
"So... you here to talk about, um, the ex thing?" Dan shuffled around nervously. Phil laughed.
"Actually, Adrian told me to come. And I wanted to, you know, chat about... stuff."
"Yes, stuff."
"Look, Dan, we can't avoid it completely, but we can, uh, put it off?"
"I thought you were supposed to be the one stopping me from procrastination," Dan said, trying hard to stifle a laugh.
It didn't exactly take much for the two childhood best friends and lovers to begin talking about nothing and everything. Once again they strolled around town, this time stopping more often to reminisce on where old memories had been made.
"Dan," Phil suddenly said, interrupting what the brunette was saying about his phone. The couple (cough) had just passed the library and were heading towards the shopping center.
"Hm?" Dan stopped mid-step.
"Um, I-I asked you this yesterday, but are you really alright? Scratch that, Dan, what is wrong? And don't say nothing because I know there's something." Phil hadn't even noticed he had gripped onto Dan's shoulders gently until the younger boy squirmed in his grip. Phil let go.
Dan didn't reply at first. He hadn't wanted anyone to worry about him just this once, yet here he was again. Gosh, why am I such a fucking burden?!
"Just some work stuff but I came here to escape that, not talk about it." Dan finally said. He looked at Phil hesitantly, knowing the brightly clothed boy was just going to pester him about it. What Dan wasn't expecting was the sinister, yet alleviating, smile that had appeared on Phil's face. "I don't think I like the look of that smile," Dan commented, raising an eyebrow.
"Shut up, it's Christmas Eve." Phil laughed," anyway, close your eyes."
"What th—"
"Just do it!" Dan didn't know how much he trusted this guy at the moment, but he closed his eyes and dismissed all the fears in his mind. Well, most of them.
The older boy spent the next few minutes dragging Dan, with an arm around his waist, through the streets. More than ten times, Dan wanted to open his eyes and see what the fuck Phil kept giggling about.
"Phil, I swear if th—" Dan's threat was cut off by a cold hand put over his mouth. Okay, Phil was definitely a psycho axe murderer goblin freak.
"Ta-da! you can open your eyes now," Phil exclaimed excitedly, pulling Dan to a stop. It's going to be a cliff fifty feet off the ground and he's going to push me down into it and let the last thing I hear be him shouting insults at me, right? Dan thought, his brain forming a run-on sentence.
Dan opened his eyes with very low expectations. Around them were tall trees, now bare because of the winter. The dirt ground was coated with a thin layer of snow, as was everything in the town. But in the center of it all was a shack—the very shack that the boys had built a childhood on.
Not knowing how to react, Dan spluttered out a few not words that he thought would make sense and was appropriate for this time, "wo-woaat uss ee. Fuck, why can't I speak? I mean, OMG nostalgia." Dan wasn't entirely lying, this place was an extremely huge part of his childhood and teen life, but it was more than that. It was one of the most homely places in his homely town. Phil laughed.
"You're cute when you stutter," Phil said which, of course, made Dan splutter a bit more incoherent 'words.' Without waiting for Dan, Phil skipped (it was a manly skip) to the door of the wooden shack and pushed the faded door open.
"Well that sounds unhealthy," Dan said from behind Phil. He had managed to push that comment aside and followed the black-haired boy to the shack. As if the outside wasn't enough, Dan was instantly drowned by the memories when he looked around. Notebooks, pencils, phone chargers, loose papers, posters, photos, snack wrappers and a shitload of other crap littered the floor, walls, and ceiling of the small space.
"I'm surprised no one has been here for all these years," Phil whispered as if speaking too loudly would destroy the 'aesthetic' arrangement of everything. Dan nodded his agreement, slightly agitated because of the mess.
"Should we... do you think we can clean this up?" Dan asked. Phil shrugged.
"If you want."
It took hours for the both of them to shove all the wrappers, old homework papers, and other trash into a ratty plastic bag; put up the grounded bulletin board and attach the photos onto it; stack all the books and notebooks into one corner; arrange the posters to look tidy; and sweep the dust off of the peeling floor.
"Ugh," Dan groaned, falling onto the ground with a thud. Phil laughed from across the shack (15 feet at most).
"That was only three hours o light cleanup, Dan."
"Three hours of my life wasted," Dan corrected. Dan heard Phil's footsteps coming towards him, and a moment later, Phil was laying right beside him.
"At least it'll be clean the next time we come back here."
"We? Next time?" Dan made sure to emphasize the words.
"Yeah, don't you want to build new memories here?" Phil asked. At the same time, they both turned over to face each other, their noses barely brushing. They both blushed but didn't move away.
"I guess," Dan whispered, his eyes half closed. He wasn't thinking straight. If he had been, Dan would've remembered that he was only staying here until the 26th. He would've remembered that he didn't have enough time to have fun. He would've remembered that Phil didn't like him anymore. And he would've remembered that he shouldn't like Phil anymore either. But he wasn't thinking straight, so it didn't come as a surprise when Dan began to lean in towards Phil with his eyes closed.
If it had been recorded and played back, Dan knew that there would be a split second of shock before his lips met Phil's. As soon as the shock was over, Dan felt Phil kissing back softly, hesitantly. Dan suddenly pulled away, his thoughts finally catching up with his actions.
"Phi—I, sorry," Dan hurriedly excused, looking away. Less than a minute later, Phil was left alone on the floor of the newly cleaned shack, staring at the space where Dan once was.
Dan fast-walked home, not even realizing the tears that were slowly creeping down his cheeks until he was unlocking the front door and trying to look presentable. "He-what's wrong?" It was Adrian.
"Uh, nothing," Dan said uselessly.
"Was it Phil? Because I swear that li—"
"No, Adri, it was me. I fucked up," Dan said between sniffles. "I kissed him and..."
"And what? He smacked you, yelled at you, ran away?"
"Um... no." Now that he stopped to think logically, Phil had kissed him back. "He actually, uh, kissed me back." Saying it out loud made him sound like such an idiot. Adrian laughed.
"Yes it does, and try keeping you're thoughts to yourself. Wouldn't want Phil knowing that you are still madly in love with him after seven years."
"I am not!" Dan said, blushing. Was he really that easy to read? And did he actually say some of his thoughts aloud?
"Yes you do."
"Dan!" an exhausted voice sounded from behind the brunette. Of course it was Phil. Dan had already known that the cute, caring boy would be coming anytime soon, but he still wasn't prepared to see him.
"See ya!" Adrian smirked and slammed the door into Dan's face. The boy sighed and turned around, "let's do this..."
"Dan," Phil had now reached the porch and was standing right in front of the boy clad in black.
"Yeah, I guess we won't need to have that ex chat anytime soon," Dan joked, eliciting a laugh from the both of them.
"Yep..." Phil extended an arm to gently brush his fingers through Dan's hair. "By the way, you know we're under the mistletoe, right?"
"Wha—" Dan turned his head up and saw a small green bundle dangling on the doorframe. "Frickin' parents..." he muttered, but smiled anyway.
"Guess I have no choice, then." Phil clasped his hands together behind Dan's neck and pulled them until they were just barely kissing. Of course, Dan found a way to ruin the moment. "You know, that kind of means I should've kissed Adrian."
"Oh you're such a sap," Phil murmured before crashing his lips onto Dan's.
December 25, Christmas Day
On this fine Christmas Day, Daniel Howell was awake and baking cookies with his lovely boyfriend Philip Lester, enjoying the pleasant atmosphere and staying hydrated. Then a terrifying monster beast named Adrian stomped down the stairs and began to scream "couple goals" so loudly that the king and queen of the Howell residence woke up. They took the news of the couple's reunion just as well as Adrian the monster had and even threw in a few marriage jokes.
So on that fine Christmas morning, Daniel Howell dropped all of his lawyer life and decided to start anew: with YouTube.
Author's Note: I kind of wanted to make this fanfiction seem 'professional' by putting the A/N at the end, so you don't have to scroll a bit to get to the actual story. I hope you enjoyed this little Christmas adventure which I crafted over finals week and finished 10 minutes before Christmas. It is probably based off of 100 movies and fluff fanfictions, so hehe... nope, I'm not that good with romance as you've probably noticed. Please leave a review on what you thought of it because this fanfiction took a lot of homework time to write. (I actually stayed up until 4am one night on a school day writing this but then deleted half of it cryyy) Merry Christmas!
This fic is also over 3,000 words long so *explosion noise* WHATTTT!