Title: For All Eternity
Author: Althea
Disclaimer: None of the BtVS and Angel characters are mine, only the plot and the character Carelle.
Summary: This fic is all about the life of Carelle, Cordy's daughter, with her dealing with the upcoming death of her mother and the sudden appearance and knowledge of who her father really is, whom she thought died years ago in a car accident.
Spoilers: Things start to AU after Angel S2 Finale "No Place Like Plrtz Glrb", although Fred is already one of the members of Angel's Investigations.
A/N: This is a future fic about the life of Carelle, Cordelia's daughter. It's up to you to guess who the father is, which is probably pretty obvious if you read the summary. I didn't really researched on this fic so I if I made any mistakes regarding to the Angel and Buffy Universe, feel free to let me know. And also please, R & R. I'm addicted to feedbacks!
For All Eternity
Chapter One: Secrets and Lies
Fifteen-year-old Carelle sat in silence as she watched her mother lie in her deathbed. Her face looking pale and her eyes are bleak and gray. Her death was already long expected since the doctor had already told them that she had just a month at the most to live because of some terminal illness that she caught somewhere.
This wasn't supposed to happen. Her own mother, the only person she ever trusted and been there for her since her father had been 'killed in a car crash' was slowly weakening before her very own eyes. Tears started to fall from her brown eyes and she was relieved when a box of tissues slowly drifted from the nightstand to her lap.
At first, when she was about five years old, she was amazed at how things intend to move inside their house all on their own, she kept her amazement to herself for about two years but when curiosity finally got the better of her, she finally asked and it was then that her mother confessed that there were really such things as ghosts. First she was scared of the idea of a dead guy's spirit lurking in their house but as time passed by, Phantom Dennis became her very best friend especially when she was in a bad mood from being teased by her classmates when she was in grade school.
"How is she?" Alex asked walking into the room, a fresh bouquet of roses clutched in his hands
"Why do you keep asking that?" Carelle snapped. "We both know that she's not going to get any better. Why do you have to rub it in?"
Right now, Alex, her mother's friend is the one who's keeping her company since her mother got sick. First, he just visits every once in awhile but he had been sleeping in their apartment since the moment her mother got sick. She first met him at age ten when he just suddenly arrived at their front door in their apartment in San Francisco looking for Ms. Cordelia Chase. He seemed to be surprised when Carelle said that she was her daughter. He even thought that she was joking and he just laughed it off. It was then that after her mother showed up and they had a long talk that he started to look at her in a different way. She couldn't place it, maybe it was fascination and disbelief wrapped into one. Her mother said that Carelle should call him Uncle Alex but she swore that she heard her mother call him in another name at times. She's just wasn't sure what.
"Look, Ellie" he said. "I know you're hurting, but."
Carelle just shook her head in disbelief. Why do they have to keep trying to cheer her up, saying that everything is going to be all right when they clearly know that it wouldn't? Even Alex couldn't think of anything to say, why wouldn't they just give it a rest?
Her mother's other friend, Uncle Leery as her mother insisted that she should call him even though Carelle was positive that it's not his real name because the name surely doesn't fit him as an English guy, used to keep calling them every other day asking about what's happening and stuff especially about her and when it's he and her mother's turn to talk, she always take the phone with her to the privacy of her bedroom. Obviously, they're talking about something that she wasn't supposed to know. But nowadays since her mother's illness, he calls every two hours to check on them and to give Carelle and ten-minute 'psychiatric treatment' of how to cope up with her mother's upcoming and awaited death. He keeps saying that death is not the end but it's only the beginning. "The Mummy Return" much? Carelle always thought. He also said that he would come and visit as soon as he can but until now, the Brit is still too busy to come and visit.
She just couldn't help thinking of what will happen now? No matter how much she tried to prepare herself of her mother's death, she just couldn't bear to think of what will happen to her all alone in this damned world with no one to turn to. Well, there's Alex who's now her legal guardian until she was twenty-one, but she just couldn't imagine herself living with him in some run down apartment in Los Angeles or wherever the hell he lives. There's Uncle Leery, but she knew that she wouldn't last a week with that overprotected Brit-guy breathing down her neck.
"Ellie, can I. speak to your mother in private?" Alex asked cautiously obviously trying hard not to let her see that he's hiding something from her. Like she doesn't already know that they've been keeping something big from her. But since her mother's illness, she didn't dwell on it that much.
"Why?" she decided not to let Alex off the hook that easily.
"I-" Alex looked deadpanned since it's the first time that she refused and asked about his and her mother's business.
"Fine, I'll go." She sighed, walking out of the room calling to Phantom Dennis to follow her. Whatever his and her mom's deal is, well, she just has to wait to find out about it.
~^~^~^~^~
//"Cordelia, we can do this! It's not your fault. well it is in a way, but I know that we can bring him back. We already have the Orb of Thessulah and after the spell, everything will be back to normal. You don't. you don't have to leave."
"Give me a break Wes, we both know that it's entirely my fault. I got careless and now."
"But going away is not the solution. you cant leave me here alone with."
"Wes, you don't understand! I'm." she hesitated.
After a long pause, the fact that she's been trying to tell finally dawned on the Englishman's head.
"Dear God! Cordelia, you're not saying." he stared at her with stunned bewilderment. "But it. it's impossible for him to repro-"
"Look, as far as Angel is concerned, I'm. dead. I got eaten by a demon or- or. just make something up!"
"You can't be serious about this! How could I look at him straight in the eyes and tell him that you're dead, when we both know that you're very much alive?!"
"You just have to Wesley. It's the only way! Sooner or later, somebody's going to show up and try to kill me and Angel and our. and- and, it's just much simpler this way when I'm hundreds of miles away"
"What about the visions?"
"Wesley, we both know that there's a machine called the telephone"
"It's just-"
"I trust you with this secret Wesley. Please don't let me down."
She paused, and Wesley could swear that he saw tears glistening in her eyes.
"Say goodbye to Angel for me. and please don't tell him about. her."
And there's nothing the ex-Watcher could do but to watch the fleeing brunette leave the hotel, once and for all.//
~^~^~^~^~
"Cordy, you awake?" Xander softly whispered.
Xander watched as she started to move her head but even the simple action already seemed to be too painful for her, causing her to wince. He felt his heart go unto her. He cannot believe how this strong lady in front of her could also be so vulnerable at times. He could not believe how she survived all the evil that she had to face to just be killed by some microscopic bacteria that's now slowly eating her away.
Funny how life works.
He remembered the time when he decided to pay her a visit when he found out that she had moved to San Francisco. Frankly, he just assumed that his dear ex-May Queen was just over reacting about a lousy fight that she had with Angel or whoever that she had to leave Angel's Investigation. It was after some girl who's barely ten opened the door and said that she was her daughter that his whole understanding of Ms. Cordelia Chase changed once and for all. He had learned to admire her courage to raise a child alone and to raise her good. It was then that he decided to move also to San Francisco to look after her and maybe be Little Ellie's father figure for awhile since her real father is being kept away from her by her own mother. And right now, he cares for her like her very own sister and he cares for Ellie like his non-existent own daughter.
"Xand?" she whispered, barely audible to Xander's ears that he had to lean closer to hear her. "How's Carelle?"
"She's. dealing with it better than I expected." He answered skipping the part that Elle's obviously having suspicions about. things she shouldn't know. At least that what's Cordelia has been trying to convince them since Little Ellie was born.
~^~^~^~^~
//"Cordelia, she should know!"
"No, Wes. Look, ninety-nine percent of the population doesn't know about 'creatures of the night' and demons and stuff and they still managed to survive! She doesn't have to know!"
"But we can't ignore the part that her father is one of those 'creatures of the night'!"
"As long as I'm concerned, her father died years ago three months before she was born in a car accident."
"What?!"
"It's better this way without her knowing."
"But you can't do that!"
"Says who?"
"You can't deprive your daughter from her own father!
"She'll be better off without the knowledge of demons and vampires in the city. She would be safer that way."
"Safer?! How safer? What if she was suddenly attacked by a vampire? What if- "
"Then I'll make her watch those bogus vampire movies. At least she'll know how to use a stake!"
"You're making a big mistake, Cordelia."
"Maybe, maybe not."//
~^~^~^~^~
"I- I really think that we should tell her about her. father." Xander hesitated, thinking that the topic would depress her life long friend more. "And. and maybe we could also tell her about others like him? His. kind?"
He could see that tears started to form on her eyes.
"Maybe not." He quickly said, cursing himself silently of why does he have bring up the topic both of them have been trying hard to ignore.
"No, no." she whispered. "I think after fifteen years of lying to her, we owe her an explanation at least."
"So. who's going to do the honors?" he joked, knowing Carelle with her stubbornness that she inherited from her mother, it certainly won't be easy to explain everything to her and not have her angry or to overreact at things.
"Xand, as much as I wanted to do the honors," she coughed a few times and continued. "I'm too weak to deal with her upcoming outburst when she finds out. Can. can you."
"Uh, Cordy," Xander spoke. "I really don't think that I'm the man for the job. Not that I don't like to tell her co'z I love Ellie and all but I don't really know all the details of the live soap opera that happened."
"Call Wesley."
"I'm on it." Xander said happily, knowing that he's off the hook. And he knew that the English guy could explain the drama better to Ellie.
~^~^~^~^~
//"What happened? Where's everybody?"
"Angel."
"Where's Cordy?"
"Angel, do. do you remember anything at all? Things that happened while you were. away."
"No, I. I just remember getting into bed with."
A long silence followed.
"Oh God."
"You. lost your soul after that. night."
"Oh God, I killed them. I killed them all."//
~^~^~^~^~
Wesley slouched in his seat at his desk at the lobby of the Hyperion Hotel, still not knowing what to do or better yet, what to say after he received that call from Xander.
There are so many things to say. So many things to explain.
He knew that it wouldn't be easy to tell Angel or Carelle the truth that he, Cordy and Xander as well, had been hiding from them for almost two decades now. He just doesn't know what to say, how to say it without causing Angel to over react at things. He's just too tired to think anymore. Too tired to move and go on with the ever so soap opera like life that he has.
Frankly, he's exhausted.
Not just from researching almost a dozen demons that they've been tracking that week but generally from life itself.
It's not easy to be forty-seven years old and still be in the demon business with your boss not looking a year older since you first met him and having experienced watching your love ones and friends get killed before your very eyes by vampires and demons.
He often thinks about the time when he, Angel, Cordelia, Gunn, Fred and Faith, the other slayer who got a parole and joined the Angel's Investigations, were still a family. A big happy family even though they face the force of darkness almost every night of their lives not knowing if it's the night when they will die. It's just fun to reminisce about the times when everything is as normal as they can get for an agency who investigates in the paranormal.
It was after that Cordelia and Angel got a little too comfortable with each other that things started to fall to pieces. The vampire Angelus is brought to the world, again wrecking and killing everything and everyone in sight. He killed Gunn and Fred in one swipe and even Faith couldn't stop him even with her slayer strength and power. Thankfully, Wesley and with a little help from Willow, they've restored Angel's soul but not before the 'accident' brought something else along with it.
Cordelia got pregnant and hence, Carelle was born. He still could not believe that he agreed with her about not telling Angel a thing about his own daughter and that Cordy is very much alive, at least for now but obviously not for long. He had told Angel a lie that Cordelia had been killed by some demon while he was still Angelus. He seemed to fall for it but there's still that little doubt, or maybe it's hope that he seemed to see in Angel's eyes every time he looks at him that his seer might still be alive.
He knew that Angel is going to kill him the moment that he uttered a word that the love of his life was alive, but already dying because of some stupid disease. But maybe, just maybe, he will just be happy that he could see his seer again for just one last time.
Just for one last time.
"Wesley how's the research?" Hope, the twenty-six year old new slayer who was sired by the death of Faith asked him. As much as he tried to separate this individual from the old and dead slayer, Faith and Hope was very much alike in ways. They're both outgoing and always in need of some ass kicking stuff, which a profession that Wesley had already graduated. He's now just the research guy. Kinda like a much older Giles.
Funny how they had already started. kind of a new generation of the old and the original Angel's Investigations. Faith's successor is Hope, there's Gunn's nephew, at least that was he said, strangely named Ziggy who is really very much like him but quieter that his uncle. There's, as Hope likes to call 'Jr. Wesley', an ex-librarian named Michel that has been one of their clients, thanks to Cordelia's visions that she's been secretly phoning to Wesley which he in turn makes up some story of why Hope and the others just have to be at the scene of the crime at the right place and time and all of those stuff.
As Wesley observed, they're still missing a 'Fred' and a 'Cordelia', which is a good thing with the 'Cordelia' part since after Cordelia's 'death', Angel's been. Wesley couldn't quite place it but it's like he's been out of it for the last a decade and a half. It's like he had lost the will to live, or just to 'exist' since vampires are technically dead.
He never opened up to anyone anymore like he used to when they were still a family back in the old days, not to even Wesley who's been there since the start, since that tragedy happened. He'd been a cold brick wall, separating himself from all of them like he did when he was just starting to learn how to communicate with people.
The 'Shanshu' thing isn't important to him anymore; his prophecy that one day he will become human as a reward for fighting evil once he has fulfilled his destiny. He doesn't care. He just goes on every day and night maybe feeling that saving lives are just his responsibility and not his destiny. As Wes observed, he just goes to their cases because of the money that will end up on his employees' pockets. And frankly, as long as the client is not specifically looking for Angel, Hope, Ziggy and Michel will take the case, leaving him and the again brooding and sulking vampire, since Cordelia had already opened his eyes to socializing and partying which he accepted mainly because Cordy just have the most power over him than any of them, alone in the large and cold hotel.
Sometimes, Wesley feels guilty of the secret that he's been hiding to Angel every time he sees him brooding and just lurking in the shadows still mourning for his lost love, even though it's over a decade ago. He knew that he could just end his torture to himself by just spewing it all out. Telling him that Cordy's alive, but he just couldn't make himself to do it and broke his promise to Cordelia.
"Still no leads." Wesley answered, still a little out of it. "Sorry."
"No prob." Hope replied.
Just then, Angel came descending down the stairs, looking as usual, sullen and doing what he does best, brooding. Wesley could swear that he looked more 'mopier' now than he is when he's still in Sunnydale, trying hard not to do it again with Buffy, the slayer who is now off her duty as the chosen one since the Council agreed with her that she survived and killed more evil than any of the slayers in history so as a reward, she's off her duty and now living a 'normal' life with her 'sister'.
"Angel." Wesley hesitated in telling Angel right then and there what's really happening to Cordelia at the moment and all the secrets that are being kept from him, because he can really use the slayer presence in case Angel decided to strangle him when he finds out about the truth.
"Just went down for blood. you can call me if there's trouble." Angel said heading for the refrigerator in the other room.
"Geez Boss, can you be any more less fun?" Hope said just as Ziggy and Michel walked in the Hyperion Hotel from their latest demon ass kicking expedition. "When were the last time you, I don't know, went to a club or something?"
Wesley could see again that pain in his eyes by the mention of clubbing. He remembered the last time that they all went clubbing, with a shove from Cordelia saying that they should have fun in celebration of their success in preventing another 'the end of the world'.
Wesley, Angel, Cordelia, Faith, Gunn and Fred all went to a club and had a good time. Angel gave Cordy a ride home. one thing lead to another. and the rest is really just ancient history.
Angel seemed to had gotten the blood fix that he needed and started to climb up the stairs when the phone rang. once. twice. and for a peculiar moment, nobody went to answer it maybe because they hadn't noticed it ringing until the answering machine picked it up. After the usual recorded voice of Wesley, somebody's way too familiar voice spoke up.
//"Hey Wes. look, I know that I shouldn't be leaving a message on your answering machine but. I tried your cellphone and I guess you forgot to turn it on. She's really getting weaker and weaker by the moment. if your planning to bring Angel here. ya know. for the saying goodbye and stuff, since I only think that's it's fair for them to meet again after almost two decades of being lied to, if your planning to, I think you should better hurry up. co'z I don't think that she will last one more week.//
Angel froze on his steps.
//By the way, have you already prepared your little speech with Ellie? I really think that she should know before her mother. ya know what I mean. call me back."//
Wesley's afraid to look at Angel's expression in case he's already raging and preparing himself on lunging for his neck, but when he did. he really couldn't place what he's seeing. He's just standing at the middle of the stairs like a statue looking at the floor. Maybe he's just trying to digest first the information then lunge at his neck and snap it in half.
Meanwhile, Hope, Ziggy and Michel who's oblivious to the tension that's now between Angel and Wesley are now down on the sofa chatting animatedly on the week's kill or something.
After a minute, Ziggy noticed Angel's non moving form on the steps and Wesley's shocked figure and decided to know what the hell is happening to the once brooding vampire and the forty plus year old ancient watcher.
"Yo, what's with you two?" he asked.
Angel finally spoke up, looking straight at Wesley, his eyes furious and demanding. "That's what I want to know."
"I-I."
Now all eyes are turned to him, all looking for some kind of answer especially Angel who's now moving down the staircase and heading toward him. His first instinct was to recoil but he held his ground and just hopes that the others will refrain Angel from ripping him to pieces all together.
"Wesley, I'm trying to be very calm here but I don't really think that I can last one more minute without tearing you apart if I don't hear what I'm expecting to hear soon." Angel demanded, now standing right in front of him grabbing his shirt.
"Angel!" Michel exclaimed rising up his feet. The others are too up their feet looking shocked by Angel's sudden outburst.
Just then when Wesley really thought that Angel is going to take his life, he saw a glimmer of softness in his eyes, masking some of the anger inside of him.
"Is-is that Xander?" he asked his voice breaking a little from his nervousness to hear what's Wesley's going to say. "Is she."
Wesley nodded, slowly at first then lunged into his unrehearsed full-scale explanation.
~^~^~^~^~
Carelle knew they were coming. Alex told her a few minutes ago as she were sitting in front of the TV searching for something worthy to watch. He said that Uncle Leery would be coming over with someone important for her to meet. He again had that weird look in his face like something life altering will happen to her that day.
It was two days later and Carelle's mom is getting worse by the minute. However painful it might seem, she was ready. and she knew that her mom is too. waiting for the icy chill of death to take over her. To end her pain and suffering, God knows what she's been through, through her forty-three years of living.
Carelle heard a knock on the door and figured that it was Uncle Leery and the mysterious visitor, so she got up and opened the door and laid her eyes on the quite geeky Brit and a tall, dark, handsome man at his side.
She nodded as a form of greeting to the two and Uncle Leery leaned over for a peck on the cheek and she leaned out of the door's way for them to come in.
"Uh, Carelle. this is Angel." Uncle Leery seemed to be really uncomfortable of being sandwiched between Carelle and Angel who is still outside the door.
"Hi. So what? You're here to pick up my mother?" She joked but he just stared at her looking like she was his long lost love.
~^~^~^~^~
Angel stared at this remarkable young woman, no more than fifteen staring back at him. She has this long, partly curly brown hair, her big round eyes looking back at him with confusion and amusement wrapped into one and Angel noticed that her face's a spitting image of her mother.
She's his daughter.
He remembered when Wesley told him that. He thought he was having delusions from the grip that he was holding Wesley's throat at that time. Just the thought of Cordelia being alive is making him feel different kinds of emotions all at once.
The fact is that, he could always feel her. He never really believed that his dear Cordy is dead. But after months and months of not seeing her and just being alone at the Hyperion Hotel with just Wesley entertaining the clients, he learned, or at least forced himself to believe that Cordelia is really dead. It was then that the Angel's Investigations' staff started to grow again with Hope arriving and after some time followed by Ziggy and Michel.
And now, he's face to face with his daughter. Just the sight of that pair of beautiful eyes makes him want to grab her and held her into his arms until she could hardly breath. But the only problem is, she hadn't invited her in yet.
~^~^~^~^~
What the hell is this guy's problem? Carelle thought, looking at unusually pale guy in front of her. He's been looking weirdly at her for the past minute without any word whatsoever.
"Um, mom's in the bedroom." She stated and moved away from the door and started to move to the sofa to turn on the TV.
"Uh, Carelle." Uncle Leery uncomfortably said. "Don't you want to invite our nice guest in?"
"What?" she answered, a little distracted from her desire to turn on the TV. She flopped at the sofa and grabbed the remote.
Thankfully, for Uncle Leery, Alex emerged from her mother's bedroom and greeted them awkwardly.
"Come in, Angel." He said, slightly looking at Carelle.
Carelle pretended to be interested at the TV, but the truth was, she's really trying to listen to what the hell are these three blokes are trying to hide from her. Alex and Uncle Leery thought that she's stupid enough to fall for their lousy explanations to all those talking in private stuff and those mind splitting headaches that her mother always suffers from which are strangely always followed by a phone call to Uncle Leery.
They said that it's because of her mother's 'long-term brain sickness'. Oh, come on! Is there such a thing as 'sudden mega migraines'? Carelle thought. She pretends to fall for it just to skip sermon that her mother's going to give her once she asked too many questions.
The was a time that curiosity got the better of her and she found herself digging through her mother's secretly kept box at the bottom of her cabinet while she was at the supermarket with Alex. And not surprisingly, she found these letters. Love letters to be precise, at the bottom of that box full of her high school memorabilia. She tried to open one of them but remembered that Phantom Dennis could see her, so she just hastily explained that she was looking for something else. She didn't know if he fell for it but she didn't think that he had said anything to her mother, so all is good in her part. Until now, she hadn't had the chance to look at it again without Phantom Dennis secretly lurking behind her seeing what's she's up to.
"So, uh." Alex attempted to start a meaningful conversation but failed miserably.
"Angel, I'm going to see. um. Cordy now." Uncle Leery hesitated, looking very uncomfortable in the mention of her mother's name.
And very surprisingly, when Carelle looked at Angel, she could see pain flickered on his eyes. It's like he and her mother shared a little more history than what they're letting on to her.
"I." Angel faltered. "I think I'll see her a little later. I can't."
"I understand Angel." Uncle Leery said, slowly turning around and heading towards Cordelia's bedroom.
Alex looked around uncomfortably, feeling out of place. "I'll go and. do something now." he said and practically tripped on his own feet while trying to get away from the living room as fast as possible.
Carelle is confused. Why the hell are these people acting so weird around her lately? It's not really the first time that she, Uncle Leery and Alex met in one place. So what's different now except for that Angel guy awkwardly lurking in the living room looking at their pictures decorated on top of cabinets and tables?
~^~^~^~^~^~
A/N: Still a lot of angst and a lot of confrontation. Carelle learns about her father and the life of the people around her before she was born. But to be completely honest, I haven't written it yet, but don't worry because I'm initially a fast writer and I've got the whole story planned out. And also, please, please, please REVIEW! I'm a certified feedbackholic and its what keeps me sane.
Author: Althea
Disclaimer: None of the BtVS and Angel characters are mine, only the plot and the character Carelle.
Summary: This fic is all about the life of Carelle, Cordy's daughter, with her dealing with the upcoming death of her mother and the sudden appearance and knowledge of who her father really is, whom she thought died years ago in a car accident.
Spoilers: Things start to AU after Angel S2 Finale "No Place Like Plrtz Glrb", although Fred is already one of the members of Angel's Investigations.
A/N: This is a future fic about the life of Carelle, Cordelia's daughter. It's up to you to guess who the father is, which is probably pretty obvious if you read the summary. I didn't really researched on this fic so I if I made any mistakes regarding to the Angel and Buffy Universe, feel free to let me know. And also please, R & R. I'm addicted to feedbacks!
For All Eternity
Chapter One: Secrets and Lies
Fifteen-year-old Carelle sat in silence as she watched her mother lie in her deathbed. Her face looking pale and her eyes are bleak and gray. Her death was already long expected since the doctor had already told them that she had just a month at the most to live because of some terminal illness that she caught somewhere.
This wasn't supposed to happen. Her own mother, the only person she ever trusted and been there for her since her father had been 'killed in a car crash' was slowly weakening before her very own eyes. Tears started to fall from her brown eyes and she was relieved when a box of tissues slowly drifted from the nightstand to her lap.
At first, when she was about five years old, she was amazed at how things intend to move inside their house all on their own, she kept her amazement to herself for about two years but when curiosity finally got the better of her, she finally asked and it was then that her mother confessed that there were really such things as ghosts. First she was scared of the idea of a dead guy's spirit lurking in their house but as time passed by, Phantom Dennis became her very best friend especially when she was in a bad mood from being teased by her classmates when she was in grade school.
"How is she?" Alex asked walking into the room, a fresh bouquet of roses clutched in his hands
"Why do you keep asking that?" Carelle snapped. "We both know that she's not going to get any better. Why do you have to rub it in?"
Right now, Alex, her mother's friend is the one who's keeping her company since her mother got sick. First, he just visits every once in awhile but he had been sleeping in their apartment since the moment her mother got sick. She first met him at age ten when he just suddenly arrived at their front door in their apartment in San Francisco looking for Ms. Cordelia Chase. He seemed to be surprised when Carelle said that she was her daughter. He even thought that she was joking and he just laughed it off. It was then that after her mother showed up and they had a long talk that he started to look at her in a different way. She couldn't place it, maybe it was fascination and disbelief wrapped into one. Her mother said that Carelle should call him Uncle Alex but she swore that she heard her mother call him in another name at times. She's just wasn't sure what.
"Look, Ellie" he said. "I know you're hurting, but."
Carelle just shook her head in disbelief. Why do they have to keep trying to cheer her up, saying that everything is going to be all right when they clearly know that it wouldn't? Even Alex couldn't think of anything to say, why wouldn't they just give it a rest?
Her mother's other friend, Uncle Leery as her mother insisted that she should call him even though Carelle was positive that it's not his real name because the name surely doesn't fit him as an English guy, used to keep calling them every other day asking about what's happening and stuff especially about her and when it's he and her mother's turn to talk, she always take the phone with her to the privacy of her bedroom. Obviously, they're talking about something that she wasn't supposed to know. But nowadays since her mother's illness, he calls every two hours to check on them and to give Carelle and ten-minute 'psychiatric treatment' of how to cope up with her mother's upcoming and awaited death. He keeps saying that death is not the end but it's only the beginning. "The Mummy Return" much? Carelle always thought. He also said that he would come and visit as soon as he can but until now, the Brit is still too busy to come and visit.
She just couldn't help thinking of what will happen now? No matter how much she tried to prepare herself of her mother's death, she just couldn't bear to think of what will happen to her all alone in this damned world with no one to turn to. Well, there's Alex who's now her legal guardian until she was twenty-one, but she just couldn't imagine herself living with him in some run down apartment in Los Angeles or wherever the hell he lives. There's Uncle Leery, but she knew that she wouldn't last a week with that overprotected Brit-guy breathing down her neck.
"Ellie, can I. speak to your mother in private?" Alex asked cautiously obviously trying hard not to let her see that he's hiding something from her. Like she doesn't already know that they've been keeping something big from her. But since her mother's illness, she didn't dwell on it that much.
"Why?" she decided not to let Alex off the hook that easily.
"I-" Alex looked deadpanned since it's the first time that she refused and asked about his and her mother's business.
"Fine, I'll go." She sighed, walking out of the room calling to Phantom Dennis to follow her. Whatever his and her mom's deal is, well, she just has to wait to find out about it.
~^~^~^~^~
//"Cordelia, we can do this! It's not your fault. well it is in a way, but I know that we can bring him back. We already have the Orb of Thessulah and after the spell, everything will be back to normal. You don't. you don't have to leave."
"Give me a break Wes, we both know that it's entirely my fault. I got careless and now."
"But going away is not the solution. you cant leave me here alone with."
"Wes, you don't understand! I'm." she hesitated.
After a long pause, the fact that she's been trying to tell finally dawned on the Englishman's head.
"Dear God! Cordelia, you're not saying." he stared at her with stunned bewilderment. "But it. it's impossible for him to repro-"
"Look, as far as Angel is concerned, I'm. dead. I got eaten by a demon or- or. just make something up!"
"You can't be serious about this! How could I look at him straight in the eyes and tell him that you're dead, when we both know that you're very much alive?!"
"You just have to Wesley. It's the only way! Sooner or later, somebody's going to show up and try to kill me and Angel and our. and- and, it's just much simpler this way when I'm hundreds of miles away"
"What about the visions?"
"Wesley, we both know that there's a machine called the telephone"
"It's just-"
"I trust you with this secret Wesley. Please don't let me down."
She paused, and Wesley could swear that he saw tears glistening in her eyes.
"Say goodbye to Angel for me. and please don't tell him about. her."
And there's nothing the ex-Watcher could do but to watch the fleeing brunette leave the hotel, once and for all.//
~^~^~^~^~
"Cordy, you awake?" Xander softly whispered.
Xander watched as she started to move her head but even the simple action already seemed to be too painful for her, causing her to wince. He felt his heart go unto her. He cannot believe how this strong lady in front of her could also be so vulnerable at times. He could not believe how she survived all the evil that she had to face to just be killed by some microscopic bacteria that's now slowly eating her away.
Funny how life works.
He remembered the time when he decided to pay her a visit when he found out that she had moved to San Francisco. Frankly, he just assumed that his dear ex-May Queen was just over reacting about a lousy fight that she had with Angel or whoever that she had to leave Angel's Investigation. It was after some girl who's barely ten opened the door and said that she was her daughter that his whole understanding of Ms. Cordelia Chase changed once and for all. He had learned to admire her courage to raise a child alone and to raise her good. It was then that he decided to move also to San Francisco to look after her and maybe be Little Ellie's father figure for awhile since her real father is being kept away from her by her own mother. And right now, he cares for her like her very own sister and he cares for Ellie like his non-existent own daughter.
"Xand?" she whispered, barely audible to Xander's ears that he had to lean closer to hear her. "How's Carelle?"
"She's. dealing with it better than I expected." He answered skipping the part that Elle's obviously having suspicions about. things she shouldn't know. At least that what's Cordelia has been trying to convince them since Little Ellie was born.
~^~^~^~^~
//"Cordelia, she should know!"
"No, Wes. Look, ninety-nine percent of the population doesn't know about 'creatures of the night' and demons and stuff and they still managed to survive! She doesn't have to know!"
"But we can't ignore the part that her father is one of those 'creatures of the night'!"
"As long as I'm concerned, her father died years ago three months before she was born in a car accident."
"What?!"
"It's better this way without her knowing."
"But you can't do that!"
"Says who?"
"You can't deprive your daughter from her own father!
"She'll be better off without the knowledge of demons and vampires in the city. She would be safer that way."
"Safer?! How safer? What if she was suddenly attacked by a vampire? What if- "
"Then I'll make her watch those bogus vampire movies. At least she'll know how to use a stake!"
"You're making a big mistake, Cordelia."
"Maybe, maybe not."//
~^~^~^~^~
"I- I really think that we should tell her about her. father." Xander hesitated, thinking that the topic would depress her life long friend more. "And. and maybe we could also tell her about others like him? His. kind?"
He could see that tears started to form on her eyes.
"Maybe not." He quickly said, cursing himself silently of why does he have bring up the topic both of them have been trying hard to ignore.
"No, no." she whispered. "I think after fifteen years of lying to her, we owe her an explanation at least."
"So. who's going to do the honors?" he joked, knowing Carelle with her stubbornness that she inherited from her mother, it certainly won't be easy to explain everything to her and not have her angry or to overreact at things.
"Xand, as much as I wanted to do the honors," she coughed a few times and continued. "I'm too weak to deal with her upcoming outburst when she finds out. Can. can you."
"Uh, Cordy," Xander spoke. "I really don't think that I'm the man for the job. Not that I don't like to tell her co'z I love Ellie and all but I don't really know all the details of the live soap opera that happened."
"Call Wesley."
"I'm on it." Xander said happily, knowing that he's off the hook. And he knew that the English guy could explain the drama better to Ellie.
~^~^~^~^~
//"What happened? Where's everybody?"
"Angel."
"Where's Cordy?"
"Angel, do. do you remember anything at all? Things that happened while you were. away."
"No, I. I just remember getting into bed with."
A long silence followed.
"Oh God."
"You. lost your soul after that. night."
"Oh God, I killed them. I killed them all."//
~^~^~^~^~
Wesley slouched in his seat at his desk at the lobby of the Hyperion Hotel, still not knowing what to do or better yet, what to say after he received that call from Xander.
There are so many things to say. So many things to explain.
He knew that it wouldn't be easy to tell Angel or Carelle the truth that he, Cordy and Xander as well, had been hiding from them for almost two decades now. He just doesn't know what to say, how to say it without causing Angel to over react at things. He's just too tired to think anymore. Too tired to move and go on with the ever so soap opera like life that he has.
Frankly, he's exhausted.
Not just from researching almost a dozen demons that they've been tracking that week but generally from life itself.
It's not easy to be forty-seven years old and still be in the demon business with your boss not looking a year older since you first met him and having experienced watching your love ones and friends get killed before your very eyes by vampires and demons.
He often thinks about the time when he, Angel, Cordelia, Gunn, Fred and Faith, the other slayer who got a parole and joined the Angel's Investigations, were still a family. A big happy family even though they face the force of darkness almost every night of their lives not knowing if it's the night when they will die. It's just fun to reminisce about the times when everything is as normal as they can get for an agency who investigates in the paranormal.
It was after that Cordelia and Angel got a little too comfortable with each other that things started to fall to pieces. The vampire Angelus is brought to the world, again wrecking and killing everything and everyone in sight. He killed Gunn and Fred in one swipe and even Faith couldn't stop him even with her slayer strength and power. Thankfully, Wesley and with a little help from Willow, they've restored Angel's soul but not before the 'accident' brought something else along with it.
Cordelia got pregnant and hence, Carelle was born. He still could not believe that he agreed with her about not telling Angel a thing about his own daughter and that Cordy is very much alive, at least for now but obviously not for long. He had told Angel a lie that Cordelia had been killed by some demon while he was still Angelus. He seemed to fall for it but there's still that little doubt, or maybe it's hope that he seemed to see in Angel's eyes every time he looks at him that his seer might still be alive.
He knew that Angel is going to kill him the moment that he uttered a word that the love of his life was alive, but already dying because of some stupid disease. But maybe, just maybe, he will just be happy that he could see his seer again for just one last time.
Just for one last time.
"Wesley how's the research?" Hope, the twenty-six year old new slayer who was sired by the death of Faith asked him. As much as he tried to separate this individual from the old and dead slayer, Faith and Hope was very much alike in ways. They're both outgoing and always in need of some ass kicking stuff, which a profession that Wesley had already graduated. He's now just the research guy. Kinda like a much older Giles.
Funny how they had already started. kind of a new generation of the old and the original Angel's Investigations. Faith's successor is Hope, there's Gunn's nephew, at least that was he said, strangely named Ziggy who is really very much like him but quieter that his uncle. There's, as Hope likes to call 'Jr. Wesley', an ex-librarian named Michel that has been one of their clients, thanks to Cordelia's visions that she's been secretly phoning to Wesley which he in turn makes up some story of why Hope and the others just have to be at the scene of the crime at the right place and time and all of those stuff.
As Wesley observed, they're still missing a 'Fred' and a 'Cordelia', which is a good thing with the 'Cordelia' part since after Cordelia's 'death', Angel's been. Wesley couldn't quite place it but it's like he's been out of it for the last a decade and a half. It's like he had lost the will to live, or just to 'exist' since vampires are technically dead.
He never opened up to anyone anymore like he used to when they were still a family back in the old days, not to even Wesley who's been there since the start, since that tragedy happened. He'd been a cold brick wall, separating himself from all of them like he did when he was just starting to learn how to communicate with people.
The 'Shanshu' thing isn't important to him anymore; his prophecy that one day he will become human as a reward for fighting evil once he has fulfilled his destiny. He doesn't care. He just goes on every day and night maybe feeling that saving lives are just his responsibility and not his destiny. As Wes observed, he just goes to their cases because of the money that will end up on his employees' pockets. And frankly, as long as the client is not specifically looking for Angel, Hope, Ziggy and Michel will take the case, leaving him and the again brooding and sulking vampire, since Cordelia had already opened his eyes to socializing and partying which he accepted mainly because Cordy just have the most power over him than any of them, alone in the large and cold hotel.
Sometimes, Wesley feels guilty of the secret that he's been hiding to Angel every time he sees him brooding and just lurking in the shadows still mourning for his lost love, even though it's over a decade ago. He knew that he could just end his torture to himself by just spewing it all out. Telling him that Cordy's alive, but he just couldn't make himself to do it and broke his promise to Cordelia.
"Still no leads." Wesley answered, still a little out of it. "Sorry."
"No prob." Hope replied.
Just then, Angel came descending down the stairs, looking as usual, sullen and doing what he does best, brooding. Wesley could swear that he looked more 'mopier' now than he is when he's still in Sunnydale, trying hard not to do it again with Buffy, the slayer who is now off her duty as the chosen one since the Council agreed with her that she survived and killed more evil than any of the slayers in history so as a reward, she's off her duty and now living a 'normal' life with her 'sister'.
"Angel." Wesley hesitated in telling Angel right then and there what's really happening to Cordelia at the moment and all the secrets that are being kept from him, because he can really use the slayer presence in case Angel decided to strangle him when he finds out about the truth.
"Just went down for blood. you can call me if there's trouble." Angel said heading for the refrigerator in the other room.
"Geez Boss, can you be any more less fun?" Hope said just as Ziggy and Michel walked in the Hyperion Hotel from their latest demon ass kicking expedition. "When were the last time you, I don't know, went to a club or something?"
Wesley could see again that pain in his eyes by the mention of clubbing. He remembered the last time that they all went clubbing, with a shove from Cordelia saying that they should have fun in celebration of their success in preventing another 'the end of the world'.
Wesley, Angel, Cordelia, Faith, Gunn and Fred all went to a club and had a good time. Angel gave Cordy a ride home. one thing lead to another. and the rest is really just ancient history.
Angel seemed to had gotten the blood fix that he needed and started to climb up the stairs when the phone rang. once. twice. and for a peculiar moment, nobody went to answer it maybe because they hadn't noticed it ringing until the answering machine picked it up. After the usual recorded voice of Wesley, somebody's way too familiar voice spoke up.
//"Hey Wes. look, I know that I shouldn't be leaving a message on your answering machine but. I tried your cellphone and I guess you forgot to turn it on. She's really getting weaker and weaker by the moment. if your planning to bring Angel here. ya know. for the saying goodbye and stuff, since I only think that's it's fair for them to meet again after almost two decades of being lied to, if your planning to, I think you should better hurry up. co'z I don't think that she will last one more week.//
Angel froze on his steps.
//By the way, have you already prepared your little speech with Ellie? I really think that she should know before her mother. ya know what I mean. call me back."//
Wesley's afraid to look at Angel's expression in case he's already raging and preparing himself on lunging for his neck, but when he did. he really couldn't place what he's seeing. He's just standing at the middle of the stairs like a statue looking at the floor. Maybe he's just trying to digest first the information then lunge at his neck and snap it in half.
Meanwhile, Hope, Ziggy and Michel who's oblivious to the tension that's now between Angel and Wesley are now down on the sofa chatting animatedly on the week's kill or something.
After a minute, Ziggy noticed Angel's non moving form on the steps and Wesley's shocked figure and decided to know what the hell is happening to the once brooding vampire and the forty plus year old ancient watcher.
"Yo, what's with you two?" he asked.
Angel finally spoke up, looking straight at Wesley, his eyes furious and demanding. "That's what I want to know."
"I-I."
Now all eyes are turned to him, all looking for some kind of answer especially Angel who's now moving down the staircase and heading toward him. His first instinct was to recoil but he held his ground and just hopes that the others will refrain Angel from ripping him to pieces all together.
"Wesley, I'm trying to be very calm here but I don't really think that I can last one more minute without tearing you apart if I don't hear what I'm expecting to hear soon." Angel demanded, now standing right in front of him grabbing his shirt.
"Angel!" Michel exclaimed rising up his feet. The others are too up their feet looking shocked by Angel's sudden outburst.
Just then when Wesley really thought that Angel is going to take his life, he saw a glimmer of softness in his eyes, masking some of the anger inside of him.
"Is-is that Xander?" he asked his voice breaking a little from his nervousness to hear what's Wesley's going to say. "Is she."
Wesley nodded, slowly at first then lunged into his unrehearsed full-scale explanation.
~^~^~^~^~
Carelle knew they were coming. Alex told her a few minutes ago as she were sitting in front of the TV searching for something worthy to watch. He said that Uncle Leery would be coming over with someone important for her to meet. He again had that weird look in his face like something life altering will happen to her that day.
It was two days later and Carelle's mom is getting worse by the minute. However painful it might seem, she was ready. and she knew that her mom is too. waiting for the icy chill of death to take over her. To end her pain and suffering, God knows what she's been through, through her forty-three years of living.
Carelle heard a knock on the door and figured that it was Uncle Leery and the mysterious visitor, so she got up and opened the door and laid her eyes on the quite geeky Brit and a tall, dark, handsome man at his side.
She nodded as a form of greeting to the two and Uncle Leery leaned over for a peck on the cheek and she leaned out of the door's way for them to come in.
"Uh, Carelle. this is Angel." Uncle Leery seemed to be really uncomfortable of being sandwiched between Carelle and Angel who is still outside the door.
"Hi. So what? You're here to pick up my mother?" She joked but he just stared at her looking like she was his long lost love.
~^~^~^~^~
Angel stared at this remarkable young woman, no more than fifteen staring back at him. She has this long, partly curly brown hair, her big round eyes looking back at him with confusion and amusement wrapped into one and Angel noticed that her face's a spitting image of her mother.
She's his daughter.
He remembered when Wesley told him that. He thought he was having delusions from the grip that he was holding Wesley's throat at that time. Just the thought of Cordelia being alive is making him feel different kinds of emotions all at once.
The fact is that, he could always feel her. He never really believed that his dear Cordy is dead. But after months and months of not seeing her and just being alone at the Hyperion Hotel with just Wesley entertaining the clients, he learned, or at least forced himself to believe that Cordelia is really dead. It was then that the Angel's Investigations' staff started to grow again with Hope arriving and after some time followed by Ziggy and Michel.
And now, he's face to face with his daughter. Just the sight of that pair of beautiful eyes makes him want to grab her and held her into his arms until she could hardly breath. But the only problem is, she hadn't invited her in yet.
~^~^~^~^~
What the hell is this guy's problem? Carelle thought, looking at unusually pale guy in front of her. He's been looking weirdly at her for the past minute without any word whatsoever.
"Um, mom's in the bedroom." She stated and moved away from the door and started to move to the sofa to turn on the TV.
"Uh, Carelle." Uncle Leery uncomfortably said. "Don't you want to invite our nice guest in?"
"What?" she answered, a little distracted from her desire to turn on the TV. She flopped at the sofa and grabbed the remote.
Thankfully, for Uncle Leery, Alex emerged from her mother's bedroom and greeted them awkwardly.
"Come in, Angel." He said, slightly looking at Carelle.
Carelle pretended to be interested at the TV, but the truth was, she's really trying to listen to what the hell are these three blokes are trying to hide from her. Alex and Uncle Leery thought that she's stupid enough to fall for their lousy explanations to all those talking in private stuff and those mind splitting headaches that her mother always suffers from which are strangely always followed by a phone call to Uncle Leery.
They said that it's because of her mother's 'long-term brain sickness'. Oh, come on! Is there such a thing as 'sudden mega migraines'? Carelle thought. She pretends to fall for it just to skip sermon that her mother's going to give her once she asked too many questions.
The was a time that curiosity got the better of her and she found herself digging through her mother's secretly kept box at the bottom of her cabinet while she was at the supermarket with Alex. And not surprisingly, she found these letters. Love letters to be precise, at the bottom of that box full of her high school memorabilia. She tried to open one of them but remembered that Phantom Dennis could see her, so she just hastily explained that she was looking for something else. She didn't know if he fell for it but she didn't think that he had said anything to her mother, so all is good in her part. Until now, she hadn't had the chance to look at it again without Phantom Dennis secretly lurking behind her seeing what's she's up to.
"So, uh." Alex attempted to start a meaningful conversation but failed miserably.
"Angel, I'm going to see. um. Cordy now." Uncle Leery hesitated, looking very uncomfortable in the mention of her mother's name.
And very surprisingly, when Carelle looked at Angel, she could see pain flickered on his eyes. It's like he and her mother shared a little more history than what they're letting on to her.
"I." Angel faltered. "I think I'll see her a little later. I can't."
"I understand Angel." Uncle Leery said, slowly turning around and heading towards Cordelia's bedroom.
Alex looked around uncomfortably, feeling out of place. "I'll go and. do something now." he said and practically tripped on his own feet while trying to get away from the living room as fast as possible.
Carelle is confused. Why the hell are these people acting so weird around her lately? It's not really the first time that she, Uncle Leery and Alex met in one place. So what's different now except for that Angel guy awkwardly lurking in the living room looking at their pictures decorated on top of cabinets and tables?
~^~^~^~^~^~
A/N: Still a lot of angst and a lot of confrontation. Carelle learns about her father and the life of the people around her before she was born. But to be completely honest, I haven't written it yet, but don't worry because I'm initially a fast writer and I've got the whole story planned out. And also, please, please, please REVIEW! I'm a certified feedbackholic and its what keeps me sane.