The Sage of Spirits: So I'm finally putting this up. Hopefully the summary drew readers into reading this. Basically, I got annoyed at Kratos eariler, so I entered into a slight sadistic mood. That's where this came from. Anyway, I don't own Tales.
Desired Wish
Are you ready, Kratos? He asked himself as he held a firm grip on the hilt of his sword. He wanted to make sure he did not accidentally miss the intended target. He did not know exactly where he was, nor did he care. It was finally going to happen – he had waited for so long to do it. No one was going to interfere.
He lowered onto his knees, flipping his sword so that the point was staring at his chest – or more specifically, his heart. He raised the blade upward as he prepared to stab himself right through the torso.
He was about to commit suicide.
"Goodbye my everlasting life, of which I have lived with dread. Anna, be ready for me." he said to no one in particular, unaware of the being that had heard his voice.
"What do you think you're doing?" the voice called out, causing the man to drop his sword in fright of discovering his intentions; it fell onto the ground with a clang. Looking over to his right, he spotted a red-clad teen, his armed folded across his chest. Kratos saw his eyes staring back at him angrily, the slits narrowed in a deepened leer.
"I…" he mumbled weakly, unable to say a word; Lloyd kicked him in the arm, causing him to fall over.
"What have I been telling you? Do you not listen to me when I say there's no meaning in dying?" he said; Kratos looked away, as he knew a foolish rant on living was about to be spewed out. "You've been given life time and time again, yet you only crave death." Lloyd said eerily; suddenly, the forest-like background turned to pitch black, leaving the two males to speak alone. The comfort the woods had given the man disappeared in a flash. A cold sweat would have formed if that were possible for him.
"But…" Kratos tried to say again as he sat up, only to receive another heavy blow to the side.
"Stay down, I'm not finished." Lloyd said darkly; his face appeared to be glued together, Kratos thought, as his son kept the same expression as before. "You're a pathetic fool, you know that? I thought receiving acceptance from me was enough to keep you from these petty attempts at taking your life. Seems I was mistaken."
"You're not Lloyd – he would not act like this." Kratos told more to himself than the being in front of him. Hearing a light scoff escaping the teen's mouth, he thought now more than ever that some demon was impersonating his ever-forgiving son.
"You really think I'm not Lloyd? Well, you think wrong. I am Lloyd, your son, telling you the feelings I have when I found out that you were going to abandon me again for some comet, where you will be killing yourself." he said, face unchanging. Suddenly, Lloyd seemed that much bigger to Kratos, who had widened his eyes. "You seemed startled."
"That's not my reasoning-" he tried to deny – to both his son and himself – when Lloyd interjected again.
"Stop lying to yourself – we both know you plan to use Derris-Kharlan as your escape." Lloyd said immediately. "You leave with the comet, having me think that one day you'll come back to me, and while in space you'll take you sword and plunge it into your chest."
"I'm not-!" he tried to say, when Lloyd had noticed the man was sitting up once more and kicked him hard in the side.
"Haven't you learned your lesson yet?" he said with exasperation, placing his gloved hand onto his forehead as if to wipe some invisible kind of sweat. "You plan to run away again from your past, present and future. The illusions of Welgaia were right in depicting you as a coward – a coward to the very end. How ironically fitting."
Kratos gasped lightly – he hoped – at the words coming from his son's mouth. How could this be his son when he never spoke like this? But he said "his" feelings… What does that mean? Was it in fact true? Or was it merely a trick?
Eerie silence consumed them for a moment as Kratos continued to stare at Lloyd's face; he had never known the boy holding his anger for so long. This purely-angered expression was entirely different to the common, short outbursts that Kratos had witnessed during the Chosen's Journey.
A smirk grew on Lloyd's face, making Kratos wonder what the boy was up to. "How long do you plan on running?" Lloyd asked.
"I'm not running-!" Kratos countered, only to be ignored.
"You run from the past because I remind you of Mom – you chase after the remnants of something long gone." Lloyd sneered wickedly. Kratos flinched; the boy spoke true. But how? "It's no wonder that Mom's the symbol of your past."
Kratos gasped louder than he had intended. Anna was the symbol of his past? Taking his father's speechlessness to thought, Lloyd continued.
"You run from the present because you're stuck in the past. You fail to see that you mean something to me and continue to ignore me, because all you see is Mom."
Kratos suddenly felt himself become bound from behind, pinned by the hands. Turning his head, he saw ghostly light brown hair; he would have cried if he could.
His beloved Anna had him wrestled down by his gloves; however, she had a different look about her. "Anna, what are you-?" he asked, when he saw tears running down her eyes.
"Why, why would you think about leaving our son alone like this? Do you think that I'm the most important thing even above our son, even though I'm no longer alive and he is?" she whispered, lowering her head so that it was now out of sight from the man's view.
He had no time to reply, as attention was shifted back onto Lloyd. "You run from the future because you fear it. You fear what will happen if I aged and you didn't. Your focus on dying was the only answer in your books, even if it meant causing great despair on me." Lloyd spoke with an icy voice. "You only care about yourself. You're a selfish fool of a father." Lloyd spat angrily; Kratos felt the brute force of the invisible blow, and would have collapsed had Anna actually released him.
"I… I'm…" he croaked, wishing he could create the tears that he longed for. He lowered his head in shame as both figures smirked.
"No you're not." Anna interjected, narrowing her eyes. How did she know what he was trying to say? "You only did what you wanted to do. You don't care about our son at all!" she shouted angrily – or so it seemed to him, noting the eerie laughter coming from Lloyd.
"You've wanted death for so long. I need you, but you know what? You don't care about what I think – that I want you to love me as a son, be proud of what I am, not what I'm forced into, and just have you around as my Dad." Lloyd said as he slowly pulled the flaming sword Flameberge from his scabbard. "So I'll grant you your desired wish – I'll give you death by the very sword you gave me."
Kratos widened his eyes; he could not have death now! He just could not! No! I've made the mistake of wanting death for so long instead of paying attention to Lloyd… I cannot die knowing that! he screamed in his head, trying to wrestle himself free from his ghostly chains.
"Whatever is the problem, Kratos?" Anna sneered at the man, a light giggle escaping her lips. "This is what you've always wanted. Our son is now willing to let you die, even though he knows it's going to kill him inside. Why are you resisting now? Isn't this what you wanted all along?"
"Yeah, Dad. The way you always were, you sounded like this would be… heaven for you." the boy laughed, Anna joining along with him. Kratos stared helplessly as Lloyd slowly moved forward, as if he was savoring the moment.
"No! I cannot die now! It's true that I've only thought of myself, but I wish to rectify that!" he pleaded, watching as his eyes stared mischievously back at him.
"Dad, there's no backing out now – you of all people should know that. I mean, you knew what you had to lose after dying. Why else would you try to commit suicide?" Lloyd said jokingly, laughing as if he had said something funny. Kratos flinched at the sudden change in the boy he feared to call "son."
"Are you ready, Lloyd?" Anna asked happily, scaring the man she had pinned. With a nod, Lloyd placed the point of the blade at his father's chest. "For what you did to our son… I'll be giving you hell in the afterlife!" she shouted exuberantly, tightening her grip on Kratos' arms.
"Lloyd, don't do it! I understand now!" Kratos said in fear – something he had not felt in a long while. However, Lloyd acted as if he had never heard him.
"And I'll be giving you hell as you die. Goodbye, Dad!" Lloyd said as he thrust the sword through the man's chest, penetrating his heart.
(--Night…--)
"No!" Kratos shouted as he sat upward, a blanket covering his clothed form. Instantly placing his hand on his forehead in an attempt to calm himself, he looked around his surroundings.
He was in Lloyd's room, the night before he was planning to leave with Derris-Kharlan. Sighing to himself, he must have been stressed out – the only cause for him to have fallen asleep. Otherwise he would have been watching over-
Wait, where is Lloyd? he thought immediately, noticing that said teen was not lying in his bed, asleep like he was supposed to be. Looking out the window, he found that the boy had slipped out onto the terrace. Slowly getting up from off the floor, he softly crept to the door and stepped outside.
He was hit with a bright light from the stars. Believing that he was being ignored, Kratos walked closer to the boy, taking a seat beside him. "Why aren't you in bed, young man?" he asked.
"My angelic powers are keeping me from sleeping, and why would you care if I was in bed or not?" Lloyd countered instantly, turning his head away from the man. He had even swiped away his father's hand, which was hovering over his head, about to gently rub through his brown hair.
"Don't use that tone with me." Kratos warned, lowering his voice.
Lloyd, however, had ignored that. "And why not? You haven't cared about what I thought since I found out that I'm your son. In fact, you distanced yourself even further from me now – I feel like I can't reach for you at all, and it hurts me." he said, lowering his head toward the wooden balcony and hiding his face. "It's like all you care about is dying and leaving me again. Or are you waiting for me to do the job for you?" the boy said with an icy, obviously hurt tone.
Kratos gasped; it was as if the dream was relaying the same message to him… "I'm sorry." he said, slowly placing his arm around the teen's side, who had retaliated my sliding to the right, away from the man. "I've been selfish to you and have ignored everything that you wanted. I should have… I should have put your wants before my own, like any real father would. I'm a failure to you as a parent."
"You aren't that bad of a father." Lloyd said after a moment, using the silence before to think. "You protected me when I was young, and you still protected me from Cruxis so that I would have no influence from it and decide to join them instead of fighting against them." he said as he moved slightly back to the left.
"Lloyd, you're being too… kind to me." Kratos sighed inwardly, wondering it were best to… No, I can't revert back to that way of thinking… Kratos warned himself harshly, not wanting to stir any of the wounded emotions of the boy next to him.
"It's not that. And…" Lloyd paused, eyes becoming distant, "you're not a bad parent, you just don't know what you're doing, or if you're doing the right thing or not." he said, grabbing the man's hand. Lloyd held the hand over his brown locks, dropping it onto his head; Kratos immediately began to caress the strains of hair.
"Lloyd…" he whispered softly, switching his current rubbing hand with his left while placing his right on Lloyd's side – slowly of course. The moment felt like it could last forever; Kratos had never felt so content – no, happy – at these turn of events.
I know what I should do… he finally decided, a smile growing on his face.
"Lloyd." he said softly, turning his head towards the teen. Curious, Lloyd looked at the man's face, noting the calm, serene smile gracing his father's lips.
"Yeah?" he responded back to the man, the man's smile becoming contagious.
"I think I'm finally going to do the right thing this time. If it's alright," he paused, a light, relieved sigh escaping his mouth, "I'd like to stay here with you."
Lloyd's smile turned into a beaming grin; he leaned onto Kratos' shoulder, wrapping his left hand around his father's waist. "I'd love for you to stay with me. Thanks, Dad. Thanks for finally listening to me." he whispered, both men feeling the burden fall from their shoulders. Together, they watched the stars disperse from the night sky as the sun began to rise…
Me: Bet you all weren't expecting that, were you? Either way, it got my sadistic mood out of the way. Anyway, good night peoples - it's almost 2AM and I'm going to bed. Review please. -yawns-