The Genie Conventions
I've been contemplating on writing this story, non-twilight style, but I decided to twilight it. It's a funny, new, pleasantly hilarious fanfic for those who like different.
Enjoy.
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Prologue
"Is there a reason why we have to do this every time we're done with an assignment?" Rosalie asked, impatiently rubbing her temples. She'd arrived here the earliest and waiting had become extremely unbearable.
"Yes, Rosalie." Edward replied, bored and clearly not at a place where he wanted to be. "Just think about the best assignment you've ever gotten."
"Edward, I'm expecting some reasoning. Is it to keep tabs or what?" She raised an eyebrow then furtively bit down on her lower lip, yelling at the top of her lungs.
Overly dramatic sex-junkie. Edward thought, sighing and retreating to his corner. "To make sure we don't fall in love with our—" He paused, not knowing what to say. They both knew what they were, essentially, but every time he said it, it just angered her more. "Clienteles."
"Edward, you've been inhaling in too much genie dust. Who in their right minds would fall in love with those creatures?" She argued in disgust, her face showing clear repulsion. "By nature selfish, cruel, and ambitious creatures. I've not met one that wishes either to be powerful, to have money, to be famous or…" She sighed, sitting beside Edward in defeat. "Along those lines. They're controlling too."
I'm no one to talk. I'd probably wish for something along those lines, too, if I was a mortal. She thought, pulling up her legs and sitting Indian style, closing her eyes as if to meditate. Edward raised an eyebrow and watched her carefully.
He knew she'd forget it after a while. He also knew she always gets like this after a bad assignment. These meetings weren't just meant for keeping tabs. They were also a standard protocol, a sorts of therapy for us genies. She had it harder, he knew, because she had no special abilities to help her. He could read the minds of his assignments; it was easier to identify the bad assignments from the good to mentally prepare yourself.
"Sorry," She mumbled after a few minutes, then straightened her body out and sat in a normal stance. "Bad case."
"It happens." Edward agreed, keeping to himself. "What happened with your…"
She stopped him with her stare, then she sighed, "He used to me hurt her." Simple and blunt; she often got these types of cases, which made Edward angry. He and Rosalie always got assigned the most brutal cases.
"It happens." Edward whispered, shrugging, hoping she'd give him details. Genies, after all, only got to live through stories. Stories helped pass time until everyone got there.
She shook her head then sighed, relaxing. "A twenty-two year old boy; his name is Kevin. I don't know what happened. I guess the rush and feel of having such power at his control got to his head, whatever." She paused, turning to him. "It was a quick." Edward knew what she meant; the girl's death.
"What about your case, Edward?" She commented, looking at his face curiously.
He shook his head. "I got a nine-year old girl from Maine. Her three wishes were complicated, that's all."
She cocked her head to the side, curiously. "What did she wish for?"
Edward took a minute to ponder at what he'd say. Rosalie was an intent listener, always eager for details when it came to story-telling. "She wished for miracles, not wishes. Well, except for the last wish." He paused. "She wished for her mother back," His eyes were pitch black. He turned to face her, then ran his hand through his messy hair, "Her mother died. We have no say in death though, you know that. Her second wish was… to make me mortal. She wanted me to be her older brother, Rosalie." He sighed, shaking his head. "Third, she wished for her teddy-bear. That I could give her. It was one she'd lost when she was four."
She smiled, then rolled her eyes. "Children are full of such innocence. They can be a little annoying sometimes though."
"Miss me?" Esme asked, walking in through her portal. She looked around and inspected the vast room, finding both Edward and Rosalie sitting in a tiny corner, solemnly. "We have to wait for Jasper so we can go to the assignment room. There's something about this white room that depresses me." She rushed over to Rosalie and Edward and pulled them into a loving embrace. "How do you guys feel?"
"Rosalie's angry that we have to meet after assignments and, honestly, I'm eager for my next assignment. How was yours?" Edward stood, walking side-by-side with Esme towards the middle of the room. Esme sat on a lime-green sofa, getting comfortable.
The four sofas were positioned facing each other in a square-pattern. Esme's lime-green sofa faced Jasper's purple sofa, while Edward's cerulean sofa faced Rosalie's crimson sofa. All of them were heavily decorated with matching pillows and cushions. Rosalie rushed to her sofa in a millisecond, not hesitant to using her incredible speed to her advantage.
"I've always loved this. Each of our sofas's are customized and personalized. Edward's is elegant and dark, mysterious. Rose's is passionate and sensuous. Jasper's is soothing and zealous, a soft and beautiful purple. Don't you all agree? Speaking of which, where is Jasper? I'm the last one to get here."
"No, that would be Jasper." Rosalie corrected, filing her nails.
Esme shook her head. "No, he's here. Jasper, honey, come out."
Edward raised an eyebrow then chuckled as Jasper suddenly appeared on his couch, grinning and wild-eyed with torn clothing.
"Edward, take a picture." Rosalie giggled.
"What happened?" Esme asked, her voice filled with concern.
Jasper chuckled, then sighed. "My last assignment ripped my clothes off. That woman was crazy. You'll see it in the recap."
Edward's POV
The recap; the first thing discussed as soon as we all got here. All of the best, worst, moving and exciting moments of all four of our assignments would be displayed on a huge screen for us to watch. We would be given tips and critiqued on our performances. If we got a perfect case, which rarely ever happens, we'd be given a reward; one week in the human world. Of course, we wouldn't be humans. We'd be the same, minus our granted powers. Of course, as a protocol, to stop us from getting too close to the humans, the need for their blood would be inflicted upon us.
It's worked.
"She really did a number on you," Rosalie inspected Jasper's healing scratches. In less than a minute, they were gone. "She was a savage! Aww, did the mean woman make poor wittle Jasper cwry?"
Jasper narrowed his eyes, pouting. "Get off my couch, woman."
Rosalie smacked Jasper across the head and pulled him into a sisterly embrace. "Is someone emotionally imbalanced today?" She grinned, trying desperately not to laugh.
Jasper tried to pull away without hurting her. "You're emotionally imbalanced and I can feel it from you! Get off! You smell like pot and Italian whiskey!"
I raised an eyebrow. "So that's what it was."
Rosalie scoffed. "Don't encourage him!" She released Jasper violently and crawled over to the edge of his couch, then crouched and jumped onto hers, giggling as she landed on her knees with her wavy locks of blond hair messily pasted around her milky-pale face. Rosalie's always been the wild one of us four.
"Where's Aro?" Esme asked, looking around. Where is he? Usually he'd be here pestering us by now.
"Here, my darling Esme!" Aro spoke, high and stately. "Here I am!" He spoke again in his excited, pleasant-go-lucky tone.
"Ha-ha! Eww!" Rosalie screamed, giggling and wild. With sudden grace and perfect aiming, she threw her right high-heel at Aro. Sadly, he dodged the attack. He wasn't that lucky for the second and it hit him—
"Right in the crotch!" Rosalie exclaimed, laughing wildly. Everyone, in their own respect, laughed while Aro flinched, trying to recover from the harsh blow.
Rosalie stood up and rushed over to him, taking her shorts off and throwing them at him. "That's for giving me a rotten assignment, you prick, I smell like pot now!" She spat at the floor contemptuously and kicked Aro in the stomach before retreating back to her vibrant red couch.
She should know she's going to get another painstakingly disturbing case after we're done here.
"Rosalie!" Esme yelped, rushing over to Aro. Such a caring, kind soul. Well, she was always Aro's favorite. She was the nicest of us all, in comparison. "Oh, Rose! You know you're only going to regret hurting him." It wasn't a threat. We all knew what happened when we messed with our superior.
Rosalie scoffed. "No good deed ever goes unpunished." She squirmed in a corner of her couch, holding a vibrant, red, plush pillow in her arms, her long pale legs exposed.
"Take a picture, Edward." Rosalie mumbled, her fiery, red lips pulled into a wide grin.
"Don't flatter yourself." I joked, grinning. Rosalie was no doubt beautiful, but she wasn't for me. This is why we were all perfect as a team. We loved each other, with the exception of our superior, and respected each other under all circumstances, except for, once again, our superior. Speaking of which, he was struggling to get up.
"You can sit on my sofa, Aro," Esme helped him to her couch, being careful not to sit him down on the space closest to Rosalie. She loved Rosalie, but the faster he sits down, the faster we can move on to our next assignment. Esme feels she's helping people, being what we are, so she's always eager to start a new mission. "Rose, put your shorts back on, please dear?" Esme asked, smiling.
Rosalie grinned back sarcastically, shaking her head. "I don't want Jasper to feel left out, not having decent clothes on."
Aro sighed, finally recovered and able. "You all have no self respect," He stated, crossing his leg, one over the other.
"And you're gay! GGGAAAYYYY!" Rosalie mocked, trying to imitate his tone. Jasper chuckled, high-fiving Rosalie. I grinned and softly chuckled to myself.
"And you, Edward," He rolled his eyes, now turning to face me, "you the worst of them all. If not for Esme's sane presence, I think you would all kill me!"
"Give us some decent cases and we won't." Jasper replied, almost as if he'd asked a question. He was composed and ready. Now all we had to do was settle Rosalie down.
"Aro, you have to start giving Rose some more pleasant assignments if you want to keep your… your—"
"I'll castrate you." Rosalie finished, bluntly staring at her toenails.
Aro sighed. "Today, we're going to discuss quite a few things. After we're done with the recap and the Do's and the Don't's, we'll be discussing your behavior when you're set on vacation in the mortal world. I wish you would all just do what you're told!"
"I wish you would crawl over to a corner and die." Rosalie mocked, turning serious. "Can we go to the recap now?"
And with perpetual silence, we did. A giant four-sided screen appeared in the middle of our square formation.
"No popedcorn?" Rosalie asked, angrily.
I interjected, "It's 'popcorn'."
"Hush." Esme whispered. When the recap started, everyone was quiet. The first assignment to be recapped was Rosalie's. First, the positive points of her case were displayed:
"Listen up, and listen good. I'm not your slave, I'm not going to help you take over the world, kill and or murder or bring anyone back to life. Is that clear?" Rosalie raised an eyebrow, staring at her glass lamp that resembled a star in the man's hands.
"See, this was a positive point. You could have given him less attitude, but good." After Aro was done half-praising, half-criticizing Rosalie, the clip moved onto the bad points. There were a lot.
"Do you think she loves me?" The man asked, staring at a very pissed-off Rosalie, standing on the edge of a tall, beautifully carved fountain in the middle of a College campus.
"No, she thinks you're disgusting. You repulse her and she knows you're stupid as hell." She replied back mockingly.
"Make me what she wants me to be; make her love me?" The man asked desperately, dropping his books to the ground.
"One more rule, I can't make anyone fall in love with anyone. I can make you look different, but I can't change you indefinitely. I suppose I can make you look less hideous."
It stopped. "This is bad. You don't go around telling your masters that they're repulsive. Why do you think it turned into a bad case?"
"He was a psychopath! He kept pictures of her in his bedroom and he killed her in the end!" She paused. "Why can't we make people fall in love?" She asked, hesitant. I was wondering about that too.
Aro pondered. "Well, I suppose the real reason behind it is that you can't make people love if you yourself have never fallen in love. None of you know what love is."
Rosalie gasped. "But I love Esme and Jasper and I love Edward a little too… I guess."
"You're not in love with Esme, at least I should hope not. My point proven. Let's move on, shall we?"
Rosalie's "Do's and Don't's" and tips were fairly the same as the first. Don't intimidate or bring down your master.
I was next in line.
"Edward, you did great, you really did, but promising her that you'd meet again was not only unethical, but against the rules!" Aro scoffed. "You are all terrible and always go out of your way to mess up the way things are meant to be when you get a break in the mortal world. You especially, Edward. You're the worst of them all when unleashed upon the humans! But I'll get to that after recap."
After me came Esme.
"You were wonderful Esme, darling, but you can't be so compassionate. They get attached. You have to be kind but restricted with your emotions. If a wish doesn't go their way, don't go hugging them and saying you're sorry. Understand?"
Esme nodded indifferently. "Yes."
And last was Jasper. He did nothing wrong; he was just assigned an unfathomable, very difficult case. His next case would be mellow.
After giving the same, laborious speech about our protocol, he gave us a short speech on "breaks" and "vacations" to the mortal world.
Rosalie and I were on probation. We wouldn't be given such breaks until our time was up and our punishment served. Punishment meant we got the harsh cases.
"Edward, you're a quiet devil. You're like a lion. Under the hands of your zoo-keeper, you perform splendidly. Left loose, you cause havoc. Literally! Rosalie is just the same, only ten times as worse and because you two are almost out of probation, I have to warn you about the standard procedures. I don't want you visiting your past masters, and I certainly don't want you disrupting the peace. No getting arrested, no causing uprisings, nothing." He sighed, fanning himself with one of Esme's cushions. "Now for your next assignments." We all stood.
A door opened in the wall closest to us, a shining light revealing a hallway with four different doors. Two on the right, two on the left; Blue and Purple on the right, Green and Red on the left.
"Now, at the end of the hallway there's a card waiting for you on top of your color-stool, indicating your next assignment's name, location, gender, and age along with other pieces of invaluable information. After you have your card, go to your rooms for your wardrobes. Make sure to pick out your wardrobe accordingly to the location so that you don't look out of place."
"We've heard it all before." Rosalie reminded, impatiently tapping her foot. Not that I blame her, having no shoes on and standing about in a tank top and panties.
"Shush, child." Aro sighed. "Now, when you're all done," He pointed to the waiting room at the end of the hallway, "Retrieve your pager and have fun." He smiled, then motioned for us to retrieve our cards.
We were all anxious and excited; however, Rosalie retrieved her card in less than a millisecond. The rest of us just paced over still excited though not as brutal.
"NO! No, no, no, no, no, no!" Rosalie screamed, jumping up and down in pure rage. Aro was gone before she even read it, purposely.
"Oh damn it!" She dry-sobbed. "Why couldn't I get something more pleasant! Boot camp?! Are you kidding me!?" She groaned and retreated to her red door in defeat. "I'll see you guys later." She pouted. Her complaining ceased when she closed the door.
"That was interesting." I commented, grinning.
Jasper shrugged. "I think she brings excitement— a sort of charisma, into these meetings."
"I agree." Esme smiled, retreating to her green door. "Good luck boys, and try to have fun." She whispered in such a motherly and tender voice; we knew she wasn't being sarcastic.
"Well, the faster I'm out of here, the faster I'm back, right?" He smiled. "I'm glad we didn't get therapy today. It was short and sweet, though I guess I have Rose to thank for that."
I nodded. "Yeah, there's a reason for that." I grinned. "He's scared of Rosalie's ugly temper."
Jasper made his way to his door. "Well, who isn't?" He chuckled. "Good luck, bro."
I nodded and made my way to my door, holding on to my card and anticipating the name that it holds. I stood before my cerulean door, mentally preparing myself for what's to come. Have fun.
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What's to come for these four, unsuspecting genies?
I'm putting up a vote. What POV should the next chapter be?
A. Edward
B. Rosalie
It's one POV per chapter because they have different assignments. The information about their assignments will be revealed at the beginning of the following 4 chapters.
So, vote for which POV you want first, then tell me what you think. Continue or no? Tell me in a review. The more reviews the story receives, the faster the chapters will be posted up.