Yay, Its my (and my twin's)Birthday! I wanted to share the fun, so we got together and wrote this story for all of you who made it to chapter 14 of 'A Random Adventure' and got at least a tiny chuckle out of the 'Random Bits' Series. Thanks to every one who left reviews and offered advice! Look for a new Profile soon.
Title: Random Bits Special Chapter 1.
Setting: Yuna and her Guardians have a special surprise planned for a certain Legendary Guardian.
Besaid Island - Waterfall Way, Tidus' floating house - The house appears deserted. A palm leaf blows forlornly across the dirt path and is trampled by a familiar black boot.
Lulu peered over the back of the couch, watching Wakka's progress as he crawled commando-style to the window. She could see very little in the dark interior. She could see Yuna crouching beside her, Rikku huddled by the darker shape of a potted plant, Kimahri lurking behind the door like a hairy boogey man, and she could feel Tidus breathing down the back of her neck, humming a suspenseful tune under his breath. The Black Mage was glad that the house had tinted windows, that way; no one would be able to see her murder Tidus.
Wakka disappeared into the darkness, only to reappear moments later in front of the window. The dark silhouette of his hair rose slowly to bob in front of the window like a nervous quail.
"Do you see him?" Rikku hissed, jittery with anticipation.
"Yeah, but he's just standing there."
Auron trudged up to the bizarre boat-like house and paused a good distance away. The little house seemed to wince under the searing scrutiny of the one-eyed Guardian. (It was trying to resist shriveling into the shape of a sun-dried prune.) The house countered by appearing a little too nonchalant. If it had the anatomical ability to posses thumbs, Auron decided, it would be twiddling them innocently right now.
Auron had been invited by Tidus to 'hang out'. He didn't know why because, according to the boy, he was old. Isn't that what Legendary means? He 'harrumphed' to himself as his treacherous memory released one of the boy's earlier comments. Directly behind it came Wakka's reply. He's not old, ya? He's ageless. Auron stuffed the memories into dark corner in his mind, punching them down for good measure, then glared at the house. The most primitive part of his brain was jumping up and down, waving a crude spear, and grunting Danger, Danger! Giving the boy the benefit of a doubt, with the understanding that youth ignorance, (better make that stupid. Ignorance is curable, but stupid is forever.) Auron clubbed his inner caveman over the head and approached the house.
"He's coming!" Wakka gasped, turning from the window to scrabble blindly in the sudden darkness of the room. Tripping on his own foot he fell to the floor and log rolled behind the couch. Everyone listened as the cool, yet dignified; melody of Auron's theme drew closer. There was the sudden ringing silence of a lot of people freezing in place, as an almost timid knock sounded on the door. Since when does he knock? This was the thought of three quarters of the people in the room. He usually just fades in.
Being Unsent, Auron had little use for structures designed to keep others out, like doors, walls, fences, etc. Sure, he used them out of habit, but when it suited him, he had a nasty habit of just 'fading in'. It made for some pretty uncomfortable and quite disturbing situations (depending on who he happened to fade in on).
The star of the historic Zanarkand Abes counted to three before loudly walking to the door to admit Auron.
"You coming in, or what?" The youth chirped brightly, Auron balking in the dark hallway. He gave the boy an appraising look. Tidus was beaming like a miniature sun and he was wearing, in Tidus' new word, a 'ginormous' grin (giant + enormous ginormous). The Unsent warrior looked at all the shiny teeth and knew that, whatever it was, it was going to be bad. Usually the degree of Tidus' grin was relative to the degree of trouble.
"Why aren't there any lights?" He demanded suspiciously. After a brief moment of mental panic, in which his brain farted out all the really good ideas, Tidus collected his scattered brain cells and replied.
"I blew a fuse with my hairdryer and there aren't exactly any Rin shops on this island". Auron snorted. He hated the way Tidus referred to all Al Bhed shops as 'Rin shops'. It annoyed the Farplane out of him.
Despite the plausibility of the answer, the Legendary Guardian remained cautious as he followed Tidus into the dark bowels of the house. As he descended the stairs, Auron sensed the presence of others... a lot of others. He turned in horror as Tidus coughed, sending his instincts into hysterics. You idiot! I knew it was a trap! I just knew it! Didn't I tell you it...You never listen to me! It was too late.
The room exploded with light and the entire village rose from behind the furniture, swarming the living area like an avenging army, shouting "Surprise!" and "Happy Death Day!" They threw handfuls of confetti in the shape of tiny funeral bodies on him. Auron nearly had a heart attack. (Well, if he had been capable of having one he would have.)
Please review, its the only present Auron's going to get!