disclaimer: it is not mine. T.T

kina: hey ppl! so, i'm here, in Newfoundland and i wrote this up on my cousins computer and i was like, so inspried by it that now i'm posting it up on the internet. woohoo! lol. so i hope you enjoy it and everything!

-o-

I can feel every fiber in your being. I can touch you and get such delight in the shiver running up your spine. I can kiss you and bruise and numb your lips and you wouldn't care. I can do so much to you... and yet you still come back to me.

Why?

How is it I can hurt you so much and you still come running back to my arms? To me?

Do you come to me because of my power, like so many others have claimed to have come to me for? Or is there something that drives you to me, like a lion and his mate? Would you dare to call it love that brings you to my door every night, that brought you to my bed near moonlight, made you fall into my embrace by starbright?

Is it the feeling of being whole for once in your life? Is it the thought that what we're doing is so wrong. And yet here we are, doing it? Is it that, being with me, causes your heart to swell and your legs to go numb? Do you feel like jello whenever I hold you? Do you enjoy it when I comfort you? Do you enjoy it?

But why is it me?

Why is it me that you run to? You have a fiancée and friends and family. I am nothing but a shell, half of something, a being who has known nothing but hardship. I am alone in a world of togetherness.

Why do you choose me?

As I look at you, your beautiful body highlighted by the moons' glow, the faint battle scars nothing but adorning jewellery to my eyes, I wonder, how did it come to this? How did someone of such idiotic and null value to me tear into me so? How is it you make me feel like a million bucks when everyone else treats me like a hooker?

My fingers move to your hair, a habit I've gained over the time we spent together and I tread my fingers through the short chocolate locks. Even in sub consciousness, you react to my touch. My fingers move to your face, bringing them along your cheek and jaw line and down to your neck. They lower still, touching your shoulder, your arm, your side. I love how you feel to me.

My eyes never leave your delectable body and I find myself wanting you all over again, even though I just had you. But my want is satisfied by just sitting here, half covered in the bed sheets with your body so close to mine. I could watch you for hours, a weird fascination I've picked up. How do you do this to me?

I'm so weak, having to resort to such measures to pleasure myself. I'm only using you. But yet you love me. You love me because I'm only using you. Because I'm taking advantage of you, of your kindness, of your love. I'm so lonely that I'm using you to fill me up, to fix my broken heart. And the sad thing is, it's working. You're making me feel again, you're making all the emotions I've shoved aside for so long come forth in me again. You're making me human.... and I hate it.

It's then that I feel your body curl towards mine and your hand take my hand. I look back up at your face and you're looking back. And you're smiling. I love that smile. If there were such things as angels, they'd sing to see that smile.

You don't say anything, you just look up at me and your eyes tell me they're trying to figure me out, like you're trying to tell which emotion I'm currently feeling. Well, there are a lot of damned emotions I'm feeling but none describe the lot of them.

I guess we're just a bunch of fucked up people living in a fucked up world.

Why?

Because, do you see a normal person doing this?

Do you see some perfectly moulded person stepping out of their perfect little worlds for a taste of what we got?

You laugh, almost as if you can hear what i'm thinking about and i pull your body up against mine, grabbing your hips and bringing them down on my lap. Your arms wrap around my neck and your lips brush against my skin as you rest your head against me. You'd let me hold you like this for hours, let your naked self press against me because there are no boundaries between us. Because there's no need for you to think i'll judge you on having what you've got for a body. I love your body. I love how it fits against mine almost perfectly. I love every part of it, so much so that I could never get enough of it.

It is then that I start to wonder just how long we can do this. How long we can keep meeting each other for this purpose. It doesn't bother me that i have a relationship with you, but that maybe it would be you that is bothered. What would you do if your friends found out? Would they still be your friends? Would you leave me because they do not accept what we do with each other? What of Anna, would you be her puppy and go to her when she called? Would you obey her like such? Would you leave me after so much of what you joked as "fixing me"? I think if you left... I would be jealous, jealous that you have such a life to return to if things between us didn't work out.

And it is then that I realize... I do love you.

I love you because there is no one else who gave me such love in return. There is no one who would hold me like you have and kiss me like you did for so long. There is no one who can understand me better and there is no one who can fill me like you have. It's so funny... so funny how someone like me can be changed by someone like you. Me, the crazed pyromaniac who had no heart to love with.

'I love you.'

It's so simple. Those three words. They're the simplest things you can ever say to a person. But I'm so scared, so scared that you won't return my love. Because the greatest thing is to love, and to be loved in return. And as I feel your body tense in my arms, I prepare for you rejection.

But...

'I love you too.'

-o-

kina: please review! thankies ppl! i lives ya! .