Title: Cooking Class
Author: Me, Inunobaka
Rating:K+
Warnings: Lovino in there. Cursing.
Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia.
Note:I did that for the Kink meme and decided to desanon since it was quite successful. It was cut, but I decided to do it as a one shot.
Note2: I'm still not an English native-speaker. So well, I have to apologize for any mistakes in here. I'll be sure to correct it if you point it out.
Italy's boss wasn't really happy. The country was not doing well lately, mostly lacking money. That's why the italians brothers were now standing in his office, while he was ordering them to find money as soon as possible.
On their way home, they were lost in thought. At some point, Feliciano had enough of thinking silently and spoke.
" Ve, Fratello~ I'll cook you pasta for lunch~ Pasta always help me think clearly you know!"
Lovino was hungry indeed, and filling his stomach was a good idea, especially if it was with some Pasta. But what was an even better idea was what he thought when his brother spoke.
" We know how to cook!"
Feliciano was now looking at him quizzically. Well yes, they did knew how to cook. And? Why did it suddenly became such a big deal?
Lovino, seeing his brother couldn't get the point, started to explain.
" Since we know how to cook, and some people doesn't... we could give cooking lessons!"
As he said that, they reached their house. After hanging their coat and getting lunch ready, Feliciano asked more explanations. They ended up planing it all while eating. They could ask one of the rooms in the building they usually used for meetings, since they were a big unused kitchen there.
If they didn't charged the lesson too much, they might get enough students to satisfy their need of money, and in the same time make their boss proud of them.
Two days later, everything was ready, mainly because an angry Boss was scary, and being scared was the best motivation for the two part of the Italian nation.
The first lesson didn't have as much success as expected. They got only three students.
Hungary came saying she liked to cook, and adding recipes to her repertory could only be a good thing.
Japan said it was part of his research on western culture. He also admitted more shyly that he was quite fond of Italian's cooking.
The most unexpected student was England. Lovino managed to avoid having his brother asking him why he was here, understanding well how hard it was for the other nation to put his pride aside before finally accepting to take cooking lessons. He had always affirmed he was good at cooking, and kept on attempting making some edible dish. Which never happened to be edible, but that wasn't the point.
Feliciano was really excited about teaching the others how to make a Pannetone.
He was walting all around the Kitchen, taking some apron out of the closet facing the door, giving it to the students, before opening some cupboard and drawers to take out kitchenware and ingredient.
In the same time, Lovino asked his students to take pace around the two table put together in the middle of the room, Catch the aprons while Feliciano was walking to the other side of the Kitchen to open the refrigerator and take some other ingredient out of it, and gave them to his students, trying not to be too impolite or rough with them. He then put the recipe he had wrote out of his pocket, tried to straighten the crumbled paper a bit unsuccessfully.
Feliciano finally put all the things he gathered in his arm on the table.
And so the lesson started. At first, it was a bit awkward, since the brothers were teaching for the first time. Romano tried to explain a bit the stories behind Pannetone, which interested England quite a lot, while Japan was writing it down and Hungary was just waiting until he finished. Then the lesson truly started.
They followed the instructions given by the Italians, reaching from time to time to the pile of ingredients and kitchenware to get something, everyone working hard to make it good.
In the beginning, everything went smooth. Even England managed to warm the milk without burning it.
It still seemed alright when they had to put the floor in the Milk. England's preparation turned a bit darker than the other's, but it wasn't too alarming to his teachers.
They then put the dough aside, and used what was left of flour to make a pile, in which they carved a little hole, before putting in the butter,salt, sugar and egg they had. Hungary shared her opinion on the little chick following Gilbert everywhere, since the egg reminded her it, Japan was quiet and england looked extremely concentrated on slicing it in two half without putting eggshell in the flour.
Feliciano praised him for his seriousness, as Lovino answered Hungary he didn't liked that second potato-bastard because he was even wronger than the first one, and they should stay away from his brother dammit.
They put the finished dough away, waiting for it to be ready for the oven three hours. They had a two hours and a half long pause, during which they lightly chatted before working a bit on their country work.
When the dough seemed good enough, they put it in the Oven and waited for it to turn goldish. One of them didn't tough. It wasn't burnt, but was the same color as a burnt one. England's Pannetone.
Feliciano's eyebrow twitched. He seemed... weird to the others. Lovino started fuming about the loss of the ingredients, since the pannetone was definitely poisoned. England wasn't going to apologize. He might have come here trying to forget about his pride, but he was not going to lower himself furthermore.
Feliciano then Snapped. He started screaming at England in Italian, but the other got the main point: no one could harm a Pannetone. And he just did...
Lovino joined in the screaming, and England was now trying to be smaller. The two Italians chorusing about Pannetone in their mother tongue were scary. England had some thought he didn't wanted, like the one about Mafia which wasn't really fun right now...
Japan and Hungary already knew about harming Italian food, since they had lived with one of the brothers long enough. They didn't dared to interrupt them, knowing how it will end for them if they did. England ended up apologizing, startled by the sudden violence coming from the brothers.
In the end, England had to stay the whole night, making new Pannetone until they were perfect. Feliciano and Lovino knew how to be persuasive when they wanted.
England also learned the difference between flours. And it helped a lot actually.
The second day, they decided to make Pizzas. This time, they had doubled the number of Students.
Spain Came because he missed his beloved Romano. Said Romano wasn't seemingly enjoying his presence. That was before Antonio promised to bring them all the tomatoes needed for this lesson and the upcoming one. Romano then cheered up a little. Pizza was his big specialty after all.
China came too, willing to learn more, and be a bit with japan who still was his sibling. Japan didn't said anything.
Swiss and Liechtenstein came too, Swiss mainly because he could have a free meal, and Liechtenstein because she wanted to cook for her brother.
They were chatting lightly while the same scene as yesterday happened again, except that this time Feliciano took care not to put Oak floor on the table. Though he didn't noticed he also put ingredients not meant for pizza on the table, as soy sauce, curry ketchup(which surely belonged to one of the German brothers) or even marmite.
When making the pastry, everything was alright again. England had got a whole night of lessons on flour, so he didn't made any mistakes this time. Swiss was helped efficiently by his sister, China tried not to steal the recipe to arrange it, Japan, Hungary and Spain were efficient cook before taking the lessons already.
Things started turning wrong when they had to garnish the Pizzas. When it come to the tomato sauce, it was still good. It went wild when the Italians told them to put on their pizza what they wanted. While Feliciano was going to the bathroom, Lovino got a call from his boss, wondering about the money they got. He went out, saying they just had to put the ingredients they wanted on the pizza and put it in the Oven with the temperature written on the recipe for the right amount of time.
When they both came back, they weren't suspecting anything. It wasn't smelling odd, the Oven showed some things similar to pizza, and nobody was whining about a finger cut or anything.
They once again had a little pause, during which they did the same things as the previous day, except that the exchanges betweens country were more lively.
Then it was time for them to get the pizza out of the Oven. The first one they took off was covered in cheese, forming a weird shape. China proudly explained to them it was Shinatty. It was looking like some weird cat, with a pepper forming a weird smile, two olives placed where the eyes should be and a bow made out of sliced mushrooms. It was a weird pizza, but an edible one and well, it was not forbidden to try and make it beautiful, even if the other didn't shared his point of view on that.
The second pizza coming out was also covered in cheese. In fact, all the kind of cheese available were on it, forming something closer to a fondue than a pizza. It was one anyway so the teachers didn't say anything.
The third one was a normal one. The brothers congratulated Hungary for her good job on that.
The fourth one was Odd. It was somehow a Pizza. With Soy sauce. Feliciano wondered how it would taste, his brother wondered why there was Soy sauce on the table in the first time. It still looked like an edible Pizza, so Japan wasn't scolded too much. He just was reminded that Soy sauce wasn't so common in Italian dishes.
Then came England's turn. England, who had found the Marmite. Lovino asked him what was the point in making a Pizza just to cover it with Oil. Feliciano was about to lose his temper again, but England was quicker. He said really fast he found the Marmite on the table which led him to think it was alright to put it on Pizza.
Feliciano calmed down. It was his fault this time. He still scolded England for his lack of taste, said england who wasn't appreciating the scolding that much and decided that answering his marmite was only for gourmet was the best thing to do. Feliciano and Lovino scolded him for ever thinking this thing could be considered food. England's new year resolution was to try and keep his temper, so he thought of other things instead. His dear Unicorn waiting outside as an example.
When the two Italian calmed down and made England cook another Pizza without that abomination named Marmite on it, they got the last pizza out. Spain's Pizza.
Spain stated happily it was a tomato Pizza. His pizza had tomatoes indeed. Only tomatoes. And it was not a normal pizza, it was a Calzone one. Veneziano asked him why he did it like that, and Spain answered it was the best way to put even more tomatoes on it. Which was a good enough reason for them.
The third lesson was on Feliciano's favorites: Pasta.
For some reasons, this day, England didn't came. He wasn't running away, he had important things to do as a country. Making advertising for Marmite as an example.
This day, they had other people too. One they had forgotten all along, someone named Canada. He had asked to join the lesson the first time, but his name was forgotten on the list so he couldn't came. The boss told Lovino the day before they got some money coming from someone who didn't attended the lessons. And in Fact, Lovino had noticed they had someone who asked to attend these lessons, and didn't because they forgot to tell him it was alright for him to come.
So today Canada was happily attending the lesson, leaving his bear on a corner of the room when Feliciano asked him. Bear who could be useful in the future if England came back.
Germany tagged along too, since Feliciano came whimpering last evening for him to come. He hadn't much work left so he did as he was asked.
Finland came too, since once again someone made fun at his food. With him Came Sweden, who couldn't let his w'fe alone here, and Sealand who was here to make fun at England. Said Sealand who was quite disappointed to see England wasn't there this time. He still decided to enjoy the pasta making, since cooking was a fun past-time.
Feliciano then started explaining how to make the pasta pastry. He showed them how to slice it in long, tiny part in order to make spaghettis. All his movement were caring and loving, he seemed really into it, smiling softly at the smooth pastry he was cutting in part.
Lovino on his side was slicing the tomatoes with an expert hand. He was making some tomato sauce for the pasta, explaining how to get it to have the best aroma.
When their pasta would be done, it would be a piece of art.
But as always, things weren't perfect. When it came to the boiling of the Pasta, Japan decided to cook it as if it was some Soba. China fried the pasta while Feliciano was taking care of Sealand and Romano was trying to help Japan with his Spaghettis Soba. Germany then started to explain to Finland what were spaetzle. Finland then complimented him for knowing a bit on the place he invaded's culture, since those spaetzle were some kind of Alsatian pasta.
Feliciano snapped. He started crying really loudly. Lovino, as a good big brother, started screaming at them. They all went quiet. Hungary took a photo of the big brother hugging awkwardly his younger brother to make him calm down a bit, and Germany tried to calm him down too by patting his head. It was efficient enough, since Feliciano wiped his tears, ate a bit of the pasta he made and came back to teaching.
In the end, the lesson went smoothly, the Pasta made as perfectly as possible to avoid having the cute Italian crying again.
The fourth day, they decided to make Gelato and reward the hard work their student made by having a around-the-world tasting. Everyone could come as soon as they bring with them a dish from their place and explained a bit what it was, after the lesson.
The lesson went quite smoothly too, Lovino taking personal care of England since he came back this day, and it was efficient since the Gelato he made a simple vanilla one, was a good one. England finally was able to cook something good.
All the other made gelato which tasted accordingly to their preference. One of them(but who was he again?) made a Maple syrup flavored one, and shared with a bear sitting in the corner.
Spain did one tasting like citrus fruits, since he also had some liking for it, and couldn't make a tomato gelato. America who came this time too, hearing England was taking lessons, overproduced vanilla Ice Cream. And made fun at England's constant help need.
Sealand was proud of himself, spreading on Facebook how England was taking cooking lessons was a great idea indeed.
Russia came too, for some mysterious reasons. And decided to make a sorbet out of snow. And for once the Italians didn't get mad. Russia was too scary.
In the end, they did their tasting. England brought Scones which actually seemed good, showing his all night training on pastry had been useful.
The guy who looked like America brought some pancakes with Maple syrup, which was quite liked, and he also tried to explain how it was taken out of maple trees, but then America started explaining some tale about a people living inside Cola vending machine and having a big adventure to find Cola and fill a bottle.
Then Japan put on the table some littles sweets he called mochi, and he explained with modesty he made them to look like the others nations. England frowned when he saw once with big eyebrows starring at him, but tried once again not to lose his temper. The America one was way more ridiculous.
Hungary gave them a Strudel she made with Austria who wasn't there, but told her to say hello to everyone.
Russia was about to show what he brought when France entered the room with a big sign, apparently fuming. On the sign everyone could read "Cook on strike". France then started ranting about how HE was supposed to be the best cook around, and so they all should come to HIS lessons instead of the one the Italian were giving. England started to defend the Italians, thinking it would be a good way to thank them. Prussia, who came with Germany, snatched the Vodka bottle Russia was holding and drank some, before handing it to Sealand, who was tempted. Sweden, seeing that, started to walk in Prussia's direction, threatening, While Finland lectured Sealand on alcohol. Lovino had started to scream at Prussia for being a potato-bastard.
It was when England and France were about to start a new war that their boss came in and dismissed the assembly.
As for the cooking lessons, they did earn Italy some money, but were forbidden for now on. The only one who really made a benefit out of it was England, who now knew how to cook several things, even if he insisted Marmite was the best sauce ever.