This...this is what happens when me and my friend are stuck in class together and we are bored. Ideas like this happen, ones of her randomly coming into the story, and other strange things. 'Storybombing' is like photobombing, but with a story, in case that wasn't clear.

I wrote this while listening to Harder Better Faster Stronger by Daft Punk, and Another Way Out by Hollywood Undead

This is what would happen if my friend came into my story, or something like that. Meh.

This is dedicated to my amazing strange awesome spazzy occasionally flailing friend Kelsi. I hope you enjoy. I know I did. Maybe a little too much XD

"Stop breathing down my neck."

"Do you actually think that I breathe?"

"I mean stop being in my space like this, smartass. It makes it hard to concentrate on what I'm doing."

I nudged his stomach with my elbow in the hopes that it would make him listen. But he didn't move, just continued to loom over me as I stirred the pot of what would be fudge. However, I might just have to dump it all over him if he doesn't stop annoying me.

"What are you making?" he asked.

I glanced up towards the ceiling. He was bent over me so much that his face was directly above the pot of boiling sugar. "Fudge."

"Why?"

"Because I feel like it. Get out of my space."

I reached to the side to pick up the chocolate chips and dump them in, hearing the timer go off. I had to stir it with more effort, and in result of that, moved around a bit. This caused me to keep bumping into Slenderman.

I had to shove him backwards when it was time to pour the fudge into a dish to set. But even then, he followed me and resumed his place of standing too close for comfort. I was very deeply considering beating him with the hot pan in my hands.

Suddenly the sound of wood breaking and a loud crashing caught my attention, just as something seemed to drop to the floor of the living room from the ceiling. I set the pot down hurriedly and rushed into the room with Slenderman at my heels of course.

There was a huge hole in the floor of the living room by the couch, as well as one in the ceiling, clear through the roof of the house. I carefully stepped over the broken pieces of wood and peered down into the hole in the floor.

A figure sat on a pile of debris quite a few feet below, clouds of dust swirling about. She got up, rubbing her head. "Ow…" Then she looked up and glanced between me and Slenderman. "Sup brah! Oh, sorry about your house, do y'all think you could point me to the nearest main street? Or gimme a map or some shit?"

I stared down at her in stunned silence.

She ignored this and looked around her. "Oh, there's a door right over there. I guess that's the way out, right? Okay, well, bye, sorry about your roof!"

Not paying attention to anything else, she moved around the debris and went out whatever door she had found down there. I rotated my head towards Slenderman and had to search for words.

"Did you...know who that was?"

He seemed just as surprised as I was. "No...no I did not."

I leaned forward a bit more to inspect the place she'd fallen into when she went through the floor. Light from the roof was filtering down into the hole and showing the cement floor with debris and dust littered everywhere.

I moved my hair from my face. "I uh...I didn't know there was a basement…"

Later that day I cleaned up all the damaged pieces of wood and put them in a pile outside the house. I had no idea what I was going to do about the holes gaping from the girl's impact.

Where the hell had she come from? And why did she fall through the roof?

I was still in a bit of shock, so I kept trying to think of any logical solutions that could make my mind rest, but none were working. The girl had just fallen into a house, and she acted as if she hadn't noticed it. Who does that?

I jumped when something touched my mouth. I refocused and realized that it was a piece of fudge, which Slenderman was trying to feed to me with one of his tendrils. Narrowing my eyes at him and the plate of fudge in his hand, I snatched the piece and bit into it.

"You put all of the fudge on that plate, didn't you?" I asked.

He lifted a piece for himself and inspected it. "Yes I did."

"Maybe I wanted half of it."

"Maybe I will consume your soul instead of eating this. If that's what you would prefer, I would be more than happy to oblige."

I rolled my eyes, knowing that he wouldn't even if I did say yes. We had been playing this game for a long while now.

Slenderman suddenly disappeared. The plate of fudge was left on the couch, all the pieces stacked carefully in the formation of a small pyramid. I assumed that he left to go hunt, and took the plate back to the kitchen to wrap it up.

While I was putting it in the fridge, a voice abruptly interrupted the silence from the living room. "Oh, are you going to help me? You'd be really good at it, with all those thingies, I think they're called tentacles or something, but they would be a great help if you really wanted to. I mean, you don't have to of course, because you're Slenderman and you probably don't give a shit about me, but-"

I went into the living room to see the girl from earlier, being held in the air by the black tendrils that belonged to the tall figure in a black suit. She inhaled when she saw me, apparently happy that to see me.

"Sup brah? I know we met before, but I went to the nice Home Depot store just down the street and I got some stuffs. I thought to myself, 'Kelsi, that there is a real nice Home Depot and this here is a real nice house with real nice people and you should fix up their house for them.'"

She didn't stop talking, even when I exchanged a completely weirded out look with Slenderman.

"The people there were real nice, too! I just walked in, grabbed the stuffs I needed, and left. They turned on this real loud buzzer like I'd won the lottery, then we played a quick game of tag, you know now that I think about it, i think it was more like cops and robbers or something, but-"

I felt like I had to take a breath for her, which I did, wishing she would do the same. She was going to pass out or something if she didn't stop talking.

"Oh hey, your man Slendy here is really strong, did you know that? He just lifted me and my stuff without even trying, it was really cool, but I'm sure you're used to seeing him to cool things and all-"

Speaking of, one of his tendrils curled around her mouth to cut her off. She kept talking in a muffled manner and looking from him to me with her wide eyes full of an unnatural excitement.

"I found this trying to get on the roof," Slenderman explained to me, lifting the girl up an inch to indicate her. His other tendril lifted up the large bag of things that she had taken from the Home Depot store.

She said her name while she was talking. Kelsi, I think. Well, it's a start.

"Did you say your name was Kelsi?" I asked her, stepping a little closer.

She nodded rapidly, still unable to speak. I could take in her appearance now that she was up close and wasn't moving around. She looked my age, maybe a little younger. Her light brown hair was messy and was what seemed like a mass of curls. Her eyes were bright and wide, and I could tell that she was smiling even though her mouth was covered.

"Put her down," I sighed at Slenderman, rubbing my face wearily.

When she was released, Kelsi immediately ran forward and did to me what could only be described as a glomp. She pulled back after a moment and straightened her purple sweatshirt. "You're very nice, you know that? Well, I'm gonna go fix your roof now, if that's okay, but I don't see why it wouldn't be, cause having your roof fixed for free is-"

"Okay, yes, go fix it," I interrupted, shooing her towards the bag of repair items she had brought back. She took it from Slenderman and proceeded to drag it out the door.

After a bit of hesitation, I added, "Do you want any help?"

"No, no, I got it! I can do this. Just gimme a second to get out the door and I'll be good. Just go back to whatever you were doing."

She went out the door, and with great effort, took the bag with her. I glanced at Slenderman when she shut the door. "Can you get her onto the roof? I don't want her to break her neck trying."

His head tilted to the side, his voice mocking. "Why not? I think that it would be rather enjoyable to watch her die."

I gave him a look. Well, more of a demanding gesture, to which he snorted softly and vanished.

Sometime after the very strange girl managed to fix the roof, I, out of utter curiosity and confusion, invited her to stay for a while. She gladly accepted, more or less on the account that I had some fudge sitting in the fridge. However, there was also another in the house who wanted the fudge as well. I think anyone could see how this would end.

I sat on the couch and waited for her to bring the fudge into the living room, but after hearing her yell angrily in protest just a minute later, went to the kitchen to see what the problem was. I probably should have seen this coming, I will admit.

Kelsi was inevitably wrapped tightly in the tendrils belonging to Slenderman, who held her to the counter in an almost nonchalant manner while he stood on the other side of the room eating the fudge pieces one by one. He had tried to cover her mouth but she had gone to the extreme of biting down on the tendril.

This of course received no indication from Slenderman that he cared at all about the fight that she was putting up. Kelsi growled in rage and shook her head rapidly with the tendril still between her teeth, trying to dislodge the thing as well as wiggling violently in an attempt to escape his hold.

"You...you have to do this?" I asked the tall being in the black suit, gesturing to the scene in front of me and mostly Kelsi.

Another square of fudge went into his invisible mouth. "Yes."

I looked to Kelsi, who was gnawing on a black tendril and still making very feral noises. "Kelsi." Her eyes almost immediately met mine. I continued carefully, trying to make sure that she understood. "There's, uh, not really anything I can do about...him. He does whatever he wants, if you hadn't noticed already, so I'm afraid that I can't exactly help you."

She glared at said Slenderman and bit down on the black appendage one more time, then sighed angrily in defeat. She also mumbled something very muffled that sounded like "Mucking affhole aff-face man."

Slenderman, being Slenderman, shoved the last of the fudge into his strange mouth and set the plate on the counter, shaking his head at Kelsi in a way as if to say 'You silly human.' After that he teleported away and left me alone with Kelsi, who expressed her very colorful thoughts about Slenderman.

She ended with, "In conclusion, your boyfriend is an asshole. But I'm sure you know that very well, considering how you're stuck with him all the time, and he probably tortures you in disturbing ways-."

"Do you want some tea?" I asked rather loudly, making an effort to interrupt her train of thought before it could possibly get any more vivid. I lifted up the tea kettle in my hands to emphasize my point.

She shook her head, her hair moving along with it. "No, I don't like tea very much."

Hm. The stove was turned on to heat up the water and I took Kelsi into the living room with the promise of taking out some other sweets she could eat in peace without having to fight with Slenderman over them. This is exactly why I shouldn't make sweets, because things like this will happen. The universe doesn't want me to make desserts.

In the hours that followed, Kelsi talked most of the time, allowing me my input when she wanted to know something. But interrupting her would be like trying to stop a moving vehicle with your body, so I let her continue all she wanted.

Eventually she asked to use the bathroom and I used that time to put my empty tea mug in the kitchen and put the empty plate, that once had sweets on it, in the sink. It was truly astonishing how quickly she could eat things.

The faintest of a ringing sound came to my ears. I automatically knew the cause and turned around, only to be met with familiar black tendrils coiling themselves around my limbs, not necessarily to restrain me, but almost like the way a human would hold the hand of another. It's very obvious by now that Slenderman has strange ways of saying hello.

"Can I help you with something?" I said almost just to distract me from the closeness of his form to mine.

"The little girl punched me. My face, to be precise."

…

It took me a few seconds to process that piece of information he had just given me, and even longer to form a response. "...why?"

*flashback time, muthafuckas!*

While Rei was busy taking the empty platter and her cup into the kitchen, Kelsi went upstairs to use the bathroom and was met with a certain Slenderman standing in the middle of the hall. She halted for a moment, but abandoned any logical thoughts and walked right up to him.

"Whazup brah? So, I heard from a very trusted, informative source that, uh, well let's just say I know your weakness. Lemme see your face." Kelsi then proceeded to jump up in order to reach the desired target and landed her fist directly to the center of Slenderman's blank face.

The only response he gave was a slight tilt of his head at her, as if he was questioning her intelligence level.

Kelsi clenched her fist a few times with a pause, squinting up at him. "Huh...well, what do you know...want some mini wheats?"

*end flashback, muthafuckas!*

With a groan I put a hand to my face for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. "Please tell me you didn't kill her."

"I locked her in the bathroom."

I looked at him with my uncovered eye, a bit surprised that he hadn't at least maimed her a little bit, considering his tolerance level for anything. It was then that I could hear Kelsi screaming and banging on the door of the bathroom upstairs, some lovely profanities being produced.

How Slenderman managed to lock the door from the outside, I can't imagine. He better not have ruined the door or the knob.

While floating within my thoughts of wonderment and concern that Kelsi was going to break down the door, I decided that I needed to go open the door for her before she hurt herself or anything else. But as I turned to leave the kitchen, the tendrils that had been slowly climbing around me suddenly became tight and unmovable.

I was about to make a noise of protest, but was unable to as I was pulled back into the hair-thin space between me and him. He leaned down to my level and stuck his face a bit too close to mine for comfort, making me try to get away, which only resulted in me being moved closer into his space.

His voice was laced with a dangerous amount of smooth honey that I was sure would give me diabetes just by hearing it. "For the time being, while she is occupied, it's my turn to spend some...quality time with you."(Author's Note: I laughed so damn hard when I wrote the part about getting diabetes from his voice, I'm not entirely sure why, but I just did XD)

I laughed sarcastically. "Quality time? You mean the time when you torture me with your nearly irresistible powers simply because it's the only thing that can amuse you nowadays. You, of all beings, shouldn't sugar coat anything."

"Let me begin, then."

The rush of cool energy bombarded me so quickly that I felt like I was going to melt into a puddle on the floor. Or that every cell in my body would explode from the amount of power he was pushing into me.

During the time that I was nearly incapacitated while Slenderman had his fun with basically snuggling my face in that weird way of his, I didn't hear the bathroom door being broken open upstairs, nor did I notice Kelsi stomping down to the living room.

Until she came into the kitchen and stopped in her tracks.

Her face was that of surprise and awkwardness, for she had no clue what to do in this situation. She gathered herself after a moment of thick silence and returned to normal. Well, as normal as she could be. Which wasn't normal at all. You know what I mean.

"Oh, hey, sup with you guys? Hey, hey, hey, I'm gonna go grab a bowl of mini wheats, you want some? See, I was digging around in the kitchen and I saw that huge ass box of frosted amazingness, and so I walked down to Walmart and bought some chocolate millk, so I've got this covered, promise, cross my heart."

Chocolate...what the hell?

She completely ignored my face of shock and confusion and nonchalantly went around us to the fridge, most likely to get the chocolate milk, another thing she probably just took from the store. Slenderman moved out of the way and inevitably me as well, almost as if he wanted us to be a good distance away to see something that would happen.

After searching in the fridge for a good amount of time, she slowly pulled out an empty milk carton with a brown label on the front of it and turned to face us. I've never seen a more unstable look on anyone's face than the one I was seeing right now.

"So, um...where's the chocolate milk? Cause, you see, I kinda went to the store to get this just for us to share, to go with the frosted mini wheats of deliciousness, and-"

"I drank it," Slenderman said, stating it more bluntly than anyone ever could.

I watched, expecting a complete explosion of profanities and flailing, as Kelsi's face twitched in an odd way. Then she set the empty carton on the counter and left the room without a word, going into the living room.

Giving Slenderman a complete look of 'WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?' I wrenched myself from him and went to attempt and console Kelsi, only to see her emit a sound of outrage and flip the coffee table over with all her strength.

She stood there breathing heavily like a dragon, and I almost expected to see flames coming out of her mouth. I carefully stepped closer and picked up the car keys, lifting them by her face so she could see them.

"You can go to the store and get some more chocolate milk, if you want," I suggested to the ticking time bomb with a face of anger in front of me.

Kelsi glanced at the keys, then took them and headed towards the door to leave. I looked back at Slenderman who stood in the doorway of the kitchen with an air of smug satisfaction about him.

This...this is why I don't have guests over. Ever. Because he will always do something, however small it might be, to ruin it all. And he does it just because he can. Because he just needs to spend every minute of every day with me, unless he needs to leave, but only of his choice, and even then it's not a very long period of time that he's away.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! YOU SON OF A-"

By the time I got outside to see what the problem was, I had given up on any attempts to calm Kelsi down that might have been in my brain. She was bending over on the side of the truck with her hands on the bottom of it, apparently trying to flip the vehicle over, but quite obviously not moving it an inch.

While she made many more noises of frustration at the world, I turned my head towards the figure in the black suit and tie next to me. "You're horrible. Really, really, horrible."

He chuckled. "I try."

Slenderman eventually used his tendril to pull Kelsi away from the truck and place her inside, where I brought her whatever sweet foods I had left to make her be calm again. She only went back to her usual self after Slenderman, the cause of all her devastating woes, left the room.

We stood near the patched-up hole in the floor, her folding her arms and me putting the sweets down somewhere else.

"I hope you know that one day, maybe not now, but in the very near future, he will pay for what he's done," she ranted. "Somehow, I will make him pay. I will eventually find his weakness and when I do, I'll make him pay. I know he's your boyfriend, Rei, but damn, he is the assiest asshole I've ever met. And I've met a lot of assholes."

I cringed. "Don't say 'boyfriend'. You're shanking me with your words right now. I'm going to die if I keep hearing that word."

Kelsi's body abruptly began to levitate, as if she were attached to invisible strings that were connected to the ceiling. She looked alarmed, then waved at me quickly. "I guess it's time for me to go, then, I'll see you later, okay? Bye, Rei!"

She leaned in closer to me to make sure I fully understood what she said next and obeyed it. "Oh, and just kiss your boyfriend already, I mean, damn! Just, damn!"

Her body was then forced back up through the ceiling and the roof, just as she had come in earlier. I could hear her yelling, "BYE, REI! BYE, SLENDY!" before her voice faded away into the sky.

I put my arms down that I had covered my head with when the debris came falling down. Now I had to clean the mess myself. This was just great.

I noticed that Slenderman was standing next to me, gazing up at the new holes in the top of the house. He didn't seem quite as surprised and utterly confused as I was, but that was most likely because of the fact that he himself was a being that could not and probably would never be explained.

He had been standing there the whole time, listening to everything that Kelsi had been saying to me. I knew he was thinking about the last part, I just knew it, there was no way he couldn't be.

He spoke, his voice cutting through the silence. "So…"

"No."

I...I regret nothing.