Elrond's Bad Seven Months

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. It all belongs to Tolkien and the characters are not mine. I'm not making money for this.

There was a legend in Middle Earth, that whoever watched a video tape, and saw the elfling in it, he or she would die in the following seven months.

At one time Elrond, Lord of Rivendell, was walking in Rivendell when he found a video tape. But the video tape was not alone, it was with a dead body, all deformed, but the curious thing is that it had the face all screwed up. Who was, he would never know, the face was unrecognizable, he only knew it belonged to an elf, the pointy ear was all he could figure out. And curiosity took the better of Elrond, so he decided to take the tape.

In the Last Homely House, he saw his only daughter and smaller child, Arwen, and invited her to watch the tape, though he could no longer wait, his curiosity was immense. So he said "Arwencitia bring some fried chicken".

He was referring to the leftovers of fried chicken Arwen, or Arwencitia as Elrond called her, had inform her ada of the leftovers of the noon-day meal. Arwencitia returned with the fried chicken leftovers from over a month a month ago "Here is the fried chicken"

And Elrond called out "Look I'm going to see this movie, do you want to see it?"

This amazed Arwen, for her father rarely watched the recently invented TV., and more scarcely rented any video tapes to watch, as he rarely got any spare time, and in his spare time, he only slept. So she replied "Dad where did you get that tape?"

"Ahh I was walking to the bathroom and inside there was a dead body, you know, it was an elf, he got all his face all screwed up, he was barely recognizable, and his mouth was hanging open. In his hands was a tape, I decided to take the tape to watch it"

That instant Arwencitia went running out of the room screaming about a video tape of a cruel elfling who murdered its victims in seven months.

The instant Elrond finish watching the tape, the telebranchphone at the living room started to ring, so Elrond knowing all his children are lazy and were just beginning a war because of who should answer the telebranchphone, he went running to answer. Just as he picked it up, he called "hello, you are calling to the Last Homely House, leave your message after the beep. Beeeeep"

Elrond called out, knowing it would be some of his advisors planning another boring meeting, like the one he just had this morning, and the afternoon of the past day, and the morning of the past day… But there was an answer, of someone who knew Elrond was not an answering machine, still to be invented. Elrond was amazed, for the voice belonged to a girl, a small elfling.

"7 months"

"What" Elrond didn't know what seven months meant; never in all his life had he heard such a ridiculous answer.

"7 months" The little elfling girl answered again.

"Ahhhh, I win 7 weeks in the Moria Inn Hotel" That had to make sense, Elrond thought. He then thought at the thicket he had bought at a raffle, and decided he had to be the winner of a seven-week-vacation with everything included. That had just ringed a bell. He had won! 7 weeks for him alone!

"No fool, 7 months"

"For what?" Elrond answer with disappointment clear in his voice.

"For you to be dead"

"Ahhh" Elrond finally understood. "Who are you anyway? Are you a follower of Sauron?"

"No, I am Galadriel Morgan"

"And who is Galadriel Morgan?" Elrond didn't know who this Galadriel Morgan was.

"Well, that's an easy question. I'm your mother, brother, neighbors, sister, uncle, cousin"

"Ohhh, ok, so that what has to do with me?"

"Ehh, erm, well nothing, but remember 7 months"

"I still don't get it, what exactly will happen in 7months?"

"You will die, where you live, well to make things easier, let me tell you my story. I live in a ancient toilet of rock with a bathroom lid made of stone so you are a ghost. Yes fool, how did you think I died? I was a stupid child, I was playing near the toilet where my friend has a submarine. This submarine, a movil house was thrash she had found in the Minas Tirith's dump. The King was Aragorn, or Arabcorn king of all the thrash, as we called him, so she made a submarine and we decided to go in to the ancient toilet to look for Sauroncina, our best friend, who supposedly drown in the deep waters. So we move the submarine to the water and we start diving. There we found a wargfish who destroyed our ship and then the toilet was so dirty so I died because of the odor of all the trash mixed with water. So I decided to take revenge, it wasn't fair! So I made a videotape to kill the person who saw it."

"Ahh, ok" was Elrond could say.

"So now remember 7 months. That's all"

"Ada what happened" Arwencitia had just entered the room.

"Aahh there was a maniatic elfling at the telebranchfone"

"And what did she said" There was concern in Arwen's voice, she remember when she was little that her brothers woulf often tell her scary stories about girls who killed everyone who saw them on the TV, or saw there videotape. She still had nightmares about those scary tales.

"That I will die in 7 months"

"You what?"

"Nothing else" Elrond replied truthfully.

"Ok, so now we have to find a way to stop it"

"Ok"

"So do you know where an ancient toilet here is in middle earth?" Arwen asked trying to help her father.

"Yes, in the Shire. Somwhere called Bag-End. Near Pipo's house or something like that"

"You mean Frodo's or Pippin's house?"

"It is the same" Elrond answer.

"So let's go"

Elrond's POV

There during the trip I was so tired that I have to rest for a week. Then I was I was walking around, when accidentally I fell through the cliff, and land in the earth below. Not a nice thing to see, nor to experience, I can assure you that. Though I still insist that I was pushed down.

In the fall I broke all my body, so I was handicapped for 2 months. Then I had to go back because a Nazgul stung me with a morgul blade, so again I was handicapped for another 3 weeks. I still insist someone ordered the Nazgul to go for me.

Then I had a very bad diarrhea, so I had to go to the healer to give me something for the diarrhea. It was horrible, I couldn't move from the toilet for 1 month then, I was so scared so I was knock out for a month.

Then in hobbitton I fell, hit my head and I have gone crazy so I have to go to the psychiatric hospital where there was a nurse who was pretty. But I didn't knew it was my archienemy. Only at the end I she was Galadriel and then she kill me.

The End

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