Fan fiction Horror
Poor Naruto! His mind is corrupted when he reads Fan Fictions about himself and Sasuke! Why is Kakashi always paired with Iruka? Why is Sakura always getting bashed? Why is everyone else weird? Also, why is Teah always considered something called Mary Sue?
This is a parody merely for entertainment! Those who flame…WILL BURN IN HELL! And those who comment nicely get cookies!
Enjoy! I don't own anyone but Teah!
"Hey! Teah! Check this out!" Naruto called from the other side of the room.
Said girl quirked an eyebrow and walked over. "What is it?"
"It's a website with fan fictions!"
"Fan Fictions?"
"Apparently their fictional stories based on things! Hey! Look at this! Here's one about me! And Sasuke?"
"Cool! Let's check it out!" Teah grabbed a chair sat down beside him.
"Okey-dokey! Here we go!" Naruto checked the summary and stuff and his face went red.
Title: Real Life Love
Author: Yaoiluver14 (If anyone has this nickname, I'm so sorry about it! I just used it randomly!)
Rated: NC-17
Pairing: Sasuke and Naruto
Genre: Romance
Summary: Sasuke finds it so hard to admit to his favourite blonde kitsune that he loves him. Not to mention trying not to jump him right on the spot. As fate would have it, they are finally alone together somewhere, and Sasuke can finally confess. How will Naruto take it? Yaoi! Lemon!
Reviews: 425
"Oh…my…God!" Teah nearly had a nosebleed just reading the summary.
"Why the hell would they pair me with that bastard! We're not even a good couple! Hello!" Naruto cried.
Keeping her big mouth shut, she knew he'd kill her if she said she actually thought they would be so cute together. So instead, she settled for saying, "Well, it can't be that bad, can it?"
"…True…it could be worse. They could pair me with that bastard Sai or that Orochimaru!"
Teah scrunched up her face at those two names. But shook it off. "Maybe there's some other stories!"
"Okay, let's look!" Naruto scrolled down the page. "Hey! Here's one with Iruka-sensei and Kakashi-sensei!"
Title: A Jounin's Love
Author: Lady of the Ice cream
Pairing: Kakashi and Iruka
Rated: PG-13
Genre: Romance/General
Summary: Iruka finds out that Kakashi is in love with him. Along the way, Iruka finds himself questioning his own feelings.
Reviews: 213
"Whoa! Sounds nice enough I guess." Naruto said softly.
Teah looked at the next one. Immediately her eyes filled with hurt.
Title: Bashing the Princess
Author: MarySueHater42
Pairing: Sasuke and Naruto
Rated NC-17
Genre: Angst
Summary: For all the Princess Teah haters! She gets horribly bashed in this fic, and is nothing but a lame Mary Sue. Read on as the "so-called Uchiha Princess" is bashed and bashed! Please review!
Reviews: 42
"Hey! That's just mean!" Naruto said angrily, jumping up from his seat.
"…" Normally, Teah didn't take crap from anyone, but this really hurt. Was she really this hated?
Of course, her curiosity got the better of her, so she clicked the link and checked it out.
Teah, the stupid and ugly Princess of Japan was taking a walk when someone tossed a banana peel on the road, which she slipped on. People around her laughed their heads off. She stood up and slipped again. Then Naruto came up and looked at her.
"God, you are such an idiot! Ha!" And he tossed a kunai at her, which went through her stomach.
Screaming in pain, she stood and hurried to Tsunade's office. Of course, got burned, hit, raped, and cut on the way there. When she finally got there, Tsunade took one look at her and made a face.
"Ew! I'm not doing anything for you, ugly! Get out!"
And away she went! She was kicked right in the ass! And so she went back home, but she was dying.
"Sasuke…help…me…" Teah gasped. She now had kunai shuriken all in her body.
"As if I would. Go and die, I hate you. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go have hot boy sex with Naruto." Singing, Sasuke left the house, leaving his stupid and ugly cousin to die.
Finally, the table, bookshelf, and couch all fell on her, crushing her to death.
No one went to her funeral, everyone was happy that she was finally dead. The stupid Princess who was nothing but a Mary Sue.
Author's note: (Not mine by the way!) This story was for all the Mary Sue haters! Especially this stupid Princess Teah! I hate her so much! She is nothing but a Mary Sue who ruins the story! I mean, come on! Uchiha Princess? Please! NO UCHIHA IS A ROYAL! Sasuke's twin? SASUKE DOES NOT NEED AN UGLY twin! I hate this OC so much, I wish the author who created her would die! I hate her so much! I want to kill her so bad for ruining the Naruto fan fictions! So come on people! –Throws kunai at the author- DIE! DIE! DIE! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Naruto had just about had enough. "That's so mean! Why would they do that?"
"Well, the Authoress who created me puts me in all of her stories, which is cool to some, but some people have no taste and just see me as a Mary Sue." Teah said. "Well, she doesn't take crap from anyone, and just keeps writing. Like Mashashi Kishimoto, I'm sure he had a lot of bumps at the start of his career, but he kept going, and now look at where he is!" (It's true! No matter how flamed or accusations of Teah being Mary Sue, I don't buckle down and run away. You know what I do? I KEEP WRITING! Why? Because it's what I enjoy doing and no one is going to keep my OC out of my fics! My Stories! My rules! SO there! –Throws tomatoes at the flamers-)
"Well, hey look! Here's a story pairing Neji and Gaara!" Naruto laughed. "Poor bastard! He gets paired with the Hyuuga! Ha!"
"And look! There's a Kiba and Hinata story! Didn't know they liked each other!"
"They don't. Authors just like to write them that way. Which is cool." Naruto nodded.
"Of course! I never thought much of it, but it's a neat idea! Hmm…Temari and Shikamaru…hm, not a bad idea for a pairing!"
"What are you two doing?"
Looking up, they saw Sasuke in the doorway.
"We're reading fan fictions! Come see! They are so cool!"
"All right." Sasuke sat down and looked at the screen.
"Hey! Look at this one! They paired Itachi with Kisame! Ha!" Teah laughed. "Ooh, and this next one is Itachi turned into a chibi!"
Sasuke chuckled and Naruto laughed.
"That would be hilarious!"
"Totally!" Teah made a baby face. "I'm Itachi, and I'm a meanie, I wanna play!"
"Hey look! They paired Shikamaru with Ino! Oh man! Good luck with that!" Naruto laughed.
"What else is there?" Sasuke was obviously interested.
"EW! It's us again!" Naruto gagged.
Sasuke stared. "Why…would they pair US?"
Teah shrugged. "Well…because they like it?"
"Feh, it's stupid."
"EWWWW!" Teah gagged. "Uchiha incest!"
"EWWWWW!" Naruto and Sasuke gagged.
(Okay, don't take this the wrong way people! I honestly have no problem with you writing Uchiha incest. I'm not fond of it, but I have nothing against you all writing them! Go right ahead! That's fine with me! If you don't like a story, don't read it! Plain and simple, okay?)
"Moving on!" Naruto said loudly, scrolling down the page. "Hey look Teah! Someone paired you with Neji!" (It's not true! I'm only making it up! I would NEVER make the fans mad by pairing my OC with Neji!)
"What?" Teah checked it. "But the Authoress never put me with Neji!"
"Nah, someone here took you and did a story with you!" (Again, not true!)
"Hn, why would they pair you with that Hyuuga?" Sasuke wondered.
Title: Hyuuga and Uchia
Author: Hyuugaluver79
Genre: Romance/General
Rated: PG-13
Pairing: NejiOC
Summary: Neji Hyuuga is in love with the Uchiha Princess, but he can't have her. To win her heart, he starts dressing and acting like the one she likes. Little does he know, it's HIMSELF that she likes!
Reviews: 94
"…For God's sake!" Teah said. "I do NOT like Neji like that! C'mon! And I don't remember the Authoress giving anyone permission to use me in a fan fiction!"
"Ugh, skip that one! Next!"
Title: Secret Love
Author: Princess Teah
Rated: PG-14 or 16
Genre: Romance/Drama
Pairing: Sasuke and Naruto, one-sided Sasuke and Sakura
Summary: Sakura FINALLY gets Sasuke as her boyfriend. Little does she know, is that he has a secret. A secret love.
Reviews: 240 (I wish! The most reviews I've ever gotten was 22 or something!)
"Well, looks like the Authoress took a swing at something like that, huh?" Sasuke remarked.
(I'm thinking of putting out a story like that! Stick around, people!)
Naruto gagged again. "Why are people pairing us? It can't be THAT cool!"
Oh Naruto, wouldn't you know? Sasuke thought. –Purr-
They read through the fanfics, and found some funny ones, and others had shocking pairings!
Like:
Itachi and Sakura
Sakura and Ino
Shikamaru and Gaara
Orochimaru and Kankuro (WTF?)
Kabuto and Sasuke
Orochimaru and Sasuke (EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!)
Naruto and Gaara (Could be worse!)
And more!
They were now reading a fan fiction called "Sex Ed".
"Hey, this isn't so bad…" Naruto said as he read on.
As they got near the end, Sasuke jumped up.
"All right! That's it! I can't take it anymore!" And he grabbed Naruto and kissed him roughly.
Teah watched in shock and delight, blood dripping from her nose.
"The Authoress really outdid herself this time! Maybe she'll write them having sex!"
Kakashi then walked in. "What's going on?"
"Don't ask!" Teah said. "We…gotta go! Bye!" She grabbed Naruto and Sasuke and hurried out of the room.
"Hmm? What's this?" Kakashi sat down and checked the site. "Hmm, fan fictions."
Reading through them, his eye widened.
"Wow! They paired me with Iruka? Awesome! I'm gonna go find him right now!" He got up and hurried away.
At Iruka's house…
"I'M DOING WHAT IN A FAN FIC!"
During that time…
Sakura noticed the website and checked it out.
"EWWW! THEY PAIRED SASUKE WITH NARUTO? AND ME WITH INO? AND LEE? EWWWW! Oh hey…" She read a fan fiction. "Ooh! That's hot!"
"What are you doing, forehead?" Ino walked into the room.
"Check out this fan fiction! Naruto and Sasuke are paired together!"
"WHAT! Let me see that!"
And Ino even ended up getting a nosebleed.
Before anyone knew it, all of Konoha had read the stories, and it was no doubt that Naruto and Sasuke were hottest yaoi couple ever. With 7,452 votes of "Hottest Yaoi Couple"!
Where were they now? Currently in the Uchiha Mansion making out like animals, while their first witness videotaped them to cherish forever.
Okay, I know this sucks completely, but I was bored, so I wrote this. Should I write another chapter or keep it a one-shot?