An Uncommon Affaire
"So, we just go in undercover-"
"As a couple."
"Undercover as a couple," Mary continued. "So that these people don't know you're actually on to them."
"Yes," Sherlock clarified, fingers steepled.
"I don't like it," John said, tightening his grip around Mary's hand.
Mary smiled and looked at him. "Are you jealous?" she asked.
"Honestly, John, I'm not trying to seduce your wife," Sherlock muttered. "It's a simple enough exercise."
"I still don't see why I can't wear a wire," John retorted.
"Wires are tedious. These type of people are trained to spot these type of things and they have every possibility to go wrong."
"And this doesn't?" John demanded.
"No," Sherlock said simply. He looked at Mary. "So you just have to act like you're... interested in me," he said. "Convincingly, if you can manage. Shouldn't be too hard."
"Sherlock!"
"Well, he actually isn't bad looking, John."
John looked sharply at Mary. She grinned.
"Thank you," Sherlock said sarcastically. "You'll need something... a nice dress. It's posh. Reservations."
"Isn't anyone going to ask me if I'm okay with this?" John asked.
"No," Sherlock and Mary said at the same time.
"Besides, Sherlock's going to go dress shopping with me," Mary said. "Then I can come home and surprise you with the dress," she said, laughing quietly.
"What?" Sherlock looked up. "Why do I have to go dress shopp..." he trailed off, narrowing his eyes. "This is one of those 'I do this for you, you do this for me' things, isn't it?" he asked.
Mary smiled. "Good deduction."
Sherlock sighed and shrugged. "If you insist, I guess."
"Oh, I do," she said cheerfully.
Sherlock just sighed again and reached for his scarf.
"Well?"
Sherlock glanced up from straightening his bow tie. "Well what?"
Mary stood in his bedroom doorway, arms crossed as she stood in the long, sleek, form-fitting deep blue dress. It was low-cut (dangerously so, John would probably say, the anxious prude) with a diamond brooch set where the fabric met.
Mary liked it. John's face would be spectacular, Sherlock thought, but himself personally? He didn't care.
"You're supposed to give me a compliment," Mary said patiently.
"I was there when you tried it on the first time," Sherlock replied, looking back in the mirror. "Why do I have to tell you again what I think?"
"Because you didn't tell me what you thought the first time."
"I told you I didn't care."
"That is telling me nothing. You don't tell a woman you don't care."
"Why not?" Sherlock asked, looking at her in the mirror.
"You just don't," she replied.
"But I don't care," Sherlock said truthfully.
Mary rolled her eyes. "You are hopeless," she said, albeit affectionately.
"Hm. Probably shouldn't tell me that at the restaurant," Sherlock said, turning away from the mirror.
"You should probably try a compliment before we get to the restaurant," Mary replied.
Sherlock let his eyes slide down Mary's body and then back up to her face, his head falling the slightest fraction to the side. "That dress accentuates your breasts."
Mary scoffed, but turned away with laughter. "Okay, maybe we shouldn't try compliments."
Sherlock frowned, following her into the bathroom. "What? I complimented the size of your-" Mary reached out and placed her hand against his chest, pushing him over the threshold and closing the door in his face. "... Breasts."
"Don't follow a woman into the bathroom, Sherlock. It's very tactless."
Sherlock rolled his eyes. "You have nothing I haven't seen."
"Oh?" Mary's voice floated through the bathroom door. "Where have you seen it at?"
Sherlock scowled. "A particular woman from a past case... and I have seen naked women besides her, for your information."
"Oh, Irene Adler, is it? John told me about her. Well, I read the blog and then he told me about her," Mary mused. "Were you in love with her?"
Sherlock sniffed and turned away from the door, picking his mobile up from his nightstand. "Love is a chemical defect."
"Uh huh."
Sherlock sighed and slipped his phone in his pocket. "What are you doing in there? You've been in my bathroom for thirty-seven minutes. We should leave in plenty of time and I-"
"Want to fix your hair?" Mary interrupted.
Sherlock frowned and leaned over to glance into his wardrobe mirror. "No. My hair is fine."
"If you want it to be a mess."
"Women like it a mess; what's wrong with it being in a casual disarray? There isn't much I can do with it," Sherlock retorted, running his fingers through it.
Mary opened the bathroom door. Sherlock straightened up and looked at her, although not before she burst into laughter.
Sherlock scowled, again. "Oh, go hail a cab," he said, striding to the bathroom.
"I'll wait on you... darling," Mary added, purely for effect, Sherlock was sure.
Two could play.
"Three minutes, beautiful, and I'll whisk you away to the best night of your life," he said sarcastically, closing the door in her face.
Sherlock smirked as he glanced in the mirror. It wasn't in such a context as implied by his tone, but he was sure that this was going to be a night that neither of them would forget. It was an interesting case, albeit if he had to be domestic to achieve what he wanted. And this was his first case alone with Mary, after all.
She was about to see what being Sherlock Holmes's friend really meant. Murders and mayhem and faked relationships. All in a day's work when you married John Watson, the best friend, ex-flatmate, blogger of the Sherlock Holmes.
(To be fair... Both John and Sherlock had warned her.)
Because I need to write another multi!chapter! Not really. This is actually going to end up being a two!shot, or possible three chapters. Nothing terribly long and it's going to be mostly dialogue, and marked as humour for a reason.
I like Mary a lot. She makes me suspicious. [NO SPOILERS. I'VE ONLY SEEN EMPTY HEARSE.] But I like her relationship with the boys a lot. Plus, since it's Amanda, that helps a lot.
I do not own Sherlock. Thank you!