Hey there,

This is my first story on here so it's bound to not be as good as the rest of you. I don't own any of the Sherlock characters in this story, although I really wish I could… Please review with feedback from a critical point of view.

If you have any ideas for my story that could help move it along a bit then please, do tell me.

This chapter is just John's blog, so it's a bit short- I'll try to do longer ones next time.

Enjoy :)

Chapter 1

From the personal thoughts and opinions of Doctor John Watson…

I guess I can't believe he's really gone. I woke up at 2am, just to check he was alright. I thought it was odd since I normally wake up to the graceful, elegant concerto that the brilliant man was playing. But there was nothing. A cold, dark silence was all I got when I called his name. A slight echo bounced off the four walls that were enclosing me in Hell...'Sherlock, Sherlock, Sherlock.' No reply. I flicked the switch that so often he had told me not to touch. He liked to play in the dark, it gave him a haunting feeling, and I could feel the emotion flooding through me as he played… It was beautiful.
I winced when I thought of all the times I told him to 'Shut the HELL up!" I closed my eyes, bad idea. As soon as my eyelids flickered to a close images of that man who just escaped my life shone bright in the darkness. A slideshow ran through my mind of us after every case, I would be overjoyed to be working with such an amazing man, but of course I wouldn't show it, however he always looked like he had better stuff to do, other cases to solve. Before I could force my eyes open a little clip played, making my brain ache with hurt and anger, it was a clip of his fall. His legs flailed and his arms made a circling motion, as if they were trying to make him fly, yet he still looked enchanting. This was the fall he was owed.

Of course that man has come and gone and even though every day I go through all options possible to prove he's still alive, nothing fits. He must be dead. The night after he died, Molly took me out to dinner (nothing romantic, we went as friends…mourners). After getting past the initial shock, I babbled on to her about all the possibilities I could imagine. After hours of her saying it can't be possible or even likely at all my ideas, she took me to St. Barts. I had a feeling I knew what was coming and I had no problem with it. I needed to see him, to say goodbye. We got to the room where Sherlock laid and before she could uncover the body, I rushed out as soon as I saw the thick wavy hair that stuck out from underneath the sheet. I heard her calling my name as I ran to the exit, but I didn't turn around, I couldn't.

That brings me to today, why I'm writing this. This talented man was my best friend, and through all our up and downs, I still loved him. No-one can really understand the relationship I had with that man- he turned my life upside down and the spun it around again and again. I know most of you think he's a fraud and I know whatever I say won't change your minds but I know what I've seen and he is NOT a fake. It's a wonder how people manage to change their loyalties when the media are to do with it. The press always turn.

That's not what I want to talk about… I want to talk about me. I'm not going to be the same man that I was when I was with him and I know I won't be able to go back to who I was before I met him- it's not possible to even consider the thought. This will be the last time I write in this blog because unless Sherlock magically comes back to life again my life is not worth writing about; it's not even worth living. I only started writing because I was told to by my therapist- and what a great idea that was- but she wanted me to write about what happens in my life and I could only do that when there was excitement and now? Well now there's none. When I said 'nothing ever happens to me' at the start, I was wrong, very wrong. But Sherlock's gone, so the words fit in place- nothing will ever happen to me again.

So, goodbye and thank you for reading my personal thoughts and opinions, you have been such a great audience, especially you Harry.

-J.W

P.S Keep going all of you- Harry- don't start drinking again and Mike, thank you so much for introducing me to Sherlock Holmes.

Like I said above- sorry for the shortness of the chapter.

Please review :)