TITLE: L is for LIE TO ME.
AUTHOR: Too_beauty.
PAIRING: Alexander & Hephaestion. Lysander is product of my imagination.
RATING: PG.
DISCLAMER: I don't know the people involved, they belong to History and to themselves but I wouldn't mind sharing my life with Phai *sighs*
WARNING: None, just m/m relationship.
NO BETA so all mistakes are mine.
FEEDBACK: comments are love!
This is a sequel to my poem "Lies", here it is ….
Lie to me and tell me you love me.
Lie to me but be by my side.
Lie to me and say he is nobody.
Lie to me and save me and my life.
Because whenever you lie to me
I can believe that everything is still right.
Because whenever you lie to me
I can go on living from morning till night.
I don't want to think about you with him.
I don't have the strength to win you back.
It breaks my heart seeing you two together.
It is hard, sad and my life breaks apart.
You promised me your heart forever.
You promised me the sun and the sky.
But we are not longer together.
Why have you lied and killed me, why my Phai?
Alexander was devastated, his Phai had a lover and he had been the guilty one, he had been the one pushing him away since they arrived in Babylon and he took control of the former King Darius's Palace and Harem, especially in this place, Alexander had found his new toy boy, a slender Persian boy, with long and curly hair and black eyes called Bagoas, the opposite pole to his life partner Hephaestion, son of Amyntor.
What worried him most was that Phai looked happier and calmer than ever, just like he used to be when they were younger, without the pressure of the Army or having Alexander the king as his lover, and he, on the other hand, had been feeling worse and worse; he couldn't believe he had been left aside, that another had taken his place in Phai's heart.
Hephaestion continued fulfilling his duties as always, in time and with all his passion but his free time was devoted to his lover, a handsome Athenian called Lysander, a very intelligent scholar versed in Philosophy and History. It was very frequent to see them discussing such subjects while walking through the long halls of the palace or in the Palace library; staying until late before heading to Hephaestion's chamber, which was now in the opposite side of Alexander's, but nobody knew what happened behind the thick wooden doors but rumours said that they were very quiet lovers.
Alexander followed Hephaestion with puppy eyes whenever he entered a room and had the expression of a beaten one when his General leaved the place. He knew he didn't have the right to win him back, he could also see clearly that this Lysander had given Hephaestion his peace of mind and his cerulean eyes, which used to look for his brown partners only, now were locked with another green ones, as shinny as emeralds.
Ptolemy had seen all the signs and had warned his half-brother but the king, so sure of himself, didn't believe him because he had always taken Hephaestion for granted, and now, he was suffering the consequences of his decisions.
Hephaestion was not blind at all, he still loved his King with all his heart, he was still his first and only owner of it, but he couldn't stand anymore his disdain, his loveless attitude or his extremely possessiveness, as if Hephaestion had only been another trophy or territory to conquer.
Hephaestion also knew that he was hurting Alexander with Lysander, but the king should have realized about Hephaestion's value before, and he was also hurt by the presence of the eunuch in his beloved's bed. But differently to him, Hephaestion didn't show off his lover in front of anyone, he was never kissing or touching him in public and his bed activities were more than quiet, inexistent in fact, but the King didn't have to know about this little piece of information, … not yet.
One evening after dinner, Alexander asked Hephaestion if he could have a word with him about something that was keeping his mind restless. Hephaestion was rather shocked because it was the first time that Alexander had asked for his opinion on a subject that was not related to supplies or the incoming conquests.
They agreed to meet at the library and discuss there.
"So tell me my King, what subject is worrying your mind?" the brunette asked while sitting on a couch near the fireplace.
"Just Alexander, Hephaestion, please. Well can we talk about human nature, stupidity, especially?" Alexander said while sitting on another couch, next to Hephaestion's but far enough so he couldn't reach him.
"Very deep subject to discuss about after such a hearty meal with an excellent wine."
"I haven't drunk any of it, just water." Alexander quickly answered, knowing how angry Hephaestion could get when he was drunk.
"I have noticed, but let's do it quick, I am tired and looking forward to going to my chamber." Hephaestion said with a tired voice.
"I am sorry, Lysander must be waiting for you, go back to him, Hephaestion"
"I can spend some time with you, Alexander."
"That's fine, I don't want to meddle, we can have this conversation in a more suitable moment, I am sorry" Alexander added with a very sad expression on his face.
"Alexander, talk to me, tell me what is worrying you so much" Hephaestion begged him while looking at him with sweet blue eyes.
"I am worried about my own stupidity and all the problems it has brought me"
"Don't say that Alexander, you are one of the most intelligent man I know"
"Thanks Hephaestion, but that's not true; if I were intelligent as you said, I wouldn't have lost you"
"You didn't lose me, we just … moved on, you should have expected that, we are two grown up men" Hephaestion said in a voice which wanted to reflect a calmness that wasn't there.
"Yes, I did but I didn't know it will hurt so much"
"Hurt? I don't understand, Alexander "
"Seeing you spending time with somebody who is not me" he said with his chin near his chest.
"But I still spend a lot of time with you"
"Maybe but it is different, I can't hold you or kiss you, make love to you and wake up together in the morning, I miss our nights" the king sheepishly confessed.
"But we still have the day. Go to sleep, Alexander, don't worry about things that we can't fix" Hephaestion suggested.
"By Zeus, don't say that, you have just taken my hope to gain you back" Alexander pleaded.
"You DON'T understand, I am not a trophy to gain, you will NEVER understand!" said and angry Hephaestion slamming the door.
"But… what have I said?" Alexander wondered.
Alexander knew he had upset Hephaestion again and he was decided to find the real reason. After some minutes, Alexander followed Hephaestion to his chamber and knocked at the door. Lysander opened it and greeted the king with a smirk on his lips.
"I need to talk to Hephaestion" the king said.
"He is taking a bath"
"That's fine, I'll wait for him"
"He will be busy after the bath, in fact, I was on my way to join him in there, he wants me to wash his hair, he enjoys when I do that and …" he was rudely interrupted by the king who said
"I know, I used to do that too, anyway tell him I will talk to him in the morning"
"Is that really necessary?" Lysander asked while he was walking to the door, behind the king.
"Yes, why do you ask?"
"I don't want to disturb him in our night love ritual" he said moving his eyebrows up and down.
"You MAY BE his lover but I am HIS king" Alexander said in a commanding voice.
"I AM his lover and you are the king of all of us, NOT only his" and saying that Lysander closed the door.
Alexander was fuming; who did that Lysander thought he was? HE was Alexander, King of the known world, HE was Hephaestion's lover, well not in that moment but he'd be sooner again, HE would never lose his Phai again. He made this promise to himself and knew that he would do up to the impossible to make Phai get him back.
But Alexander was not the only one angry, Hephaestion was yelling at Lysander because he had told HIS king that bunch of lies and the teacher's only explanation was that he had done it for his own sake. Hephaestion knew he had made a mistake when he asked Lysander to be his partner in mind, he just only wanted Alexander to realize how important Hephaestion was for him, but principally to rediscover all the things that both of them had led them to this situation, all the things they had let interfere with their love, which was the purest feeling that two men could share.
Neither Alexander nor Hephaestion slept that night, both were resting on their backs thinking, Hephaestion recalling their conversation, it had been so nice to share those moments alone again, to listen to his beloved speaking words of love just for him, spending time together as they used to do; Alexander imagining Lysander washing his beloved's tresses, being able to rack his fingers through them and massaging and lathering his muscular body, the king got really tense, HE should be the ONLY one doing that to HIS Phai.
The morning came faster than they expected and the three of them met at the same time in the same place, the dinning room, but what was weird for Alexander was that the two lovers were coming from different ways and their faces did not reflect so much love, maybe his night visit to Hephaestion's chamber had ruined Lysander's night and Alexander was happier than ever and he didn't make any effort to hide it. Hephaestion caught that little smile he loved so much on his king's face and wondered why he was in such a good mood.
Most of the companions arrived in that moment and they sat to eat their morning meal, Hephaestion ate almost nothing, Lysander took only a cup of warm milk and excused himself and Alexander looked at his Phai, nibbling on a bit of sweet bread. Without realizing, those two pools of heaven met his chocolate partners and they stared at each other for a long moment till the blue ones were casted down and a slight blush appeared on the tanned cheeks.
When breakfast was over, Alexander went to his room to get some maps and on his way there, he brushed his arm with Hephaestion's, who was standing up and talking to Ptolemy. The brunette General felt a cold and warm shiver travelling along his spine and his body got stiff due to the contact he craved so much. Ptolemy looked into his friend's eyes and smiled; these two would go back together any time soon and he prayed the gods to help them because it was painful seeing both of them as souls in pain.
Some days later, after dinner, Cleitus approached Hephaestion and asked him loudly:
"My gorgeous General, who will warm your bed now that you have kicked that bigheaded Athenian?" while slapping his back.
Alexander put his head up and his eyes looked for his General's but he was trying not to look at them because the truth would be just revealed and he didn't want to be in that way.
"Are you offering Cleitus?" Hephaestion asked smiling and surprising the black General and all the people present in the room.
"Of course, I am, who knows when I can have another opportunity, or has someone more royal asked you first? the drunk man giggled and turned round to set his blurry eyes on his king, but Alexander was not longer there.
The King had just disappeared; he couldn't breathe properly, his heart was running inside his chest and his body was covered with a thin layer of sweat. Was that possible? Would he be able to convince his Phai to let him be with him again? And in that moment the real reason struck him as a lightning: he had always treated Hephaestion as if the brunette were a possession and that he would thank the gods that the almighty Alexander let him live by his shadow, Alexander realized that there was no one more slave than himself, he was caught in his Phai's eyes and wanted to be his prisoner for life.
Hephaestion also ran away to his secret spot in the back garden, the one which had the apple trees and the rose bushes, and sat there, with his cheeks still reddened and a feeling of nervousness. He closed his eyes for a moment and then he felt the presence of someone near him. He was about to turn around when he listened to a warm whisper near hiss right ear shell:
"Please, don't turn round and listen to me carefully" the king begged.
"Lie to me and tell me you love me."
"Lie to me but be by my side."
"Lie to me and say he is nobody."
"Lie to me and save me and my life."
"I don't love you, Alexander "
"I won't stay by your side"
"He is not a nobody"
"And I won't save you or your life" answered Hephaestion calmly and when he turned round he saw so much pain in his beloved's eyes that he had just only one more thing to add:
"The above mentioned are just beautiful lies"