Disclaimer: I do not own "Outsiders". All rights go to S.E. Hinton. I do not own the song, "Concrete Angel"; that belongs to Martina McBride. I do not own the poem "A Prayer in Darkness"; that belongs to G.K. Chesterton, as does the quote. The only things I own here are obviously my OCs.
He felt slightly guilty for lying to them, but this was personal. He never told anyone about them, no one, not even his best friend Ponyboy Curtis. He couldn't tell Dallas Winston because quite frankly, he didn't think Dally would care. He never told Steve Randle, he wasn't that close to him. He knew Sodapop, Pony's brother, or Keith "Two-Bit" Matthews would spread it around like wildfire. As for the oldest Curtis brother, Darrel, well he frankly scared him sometimes.
Johnny Cade didn't keep much from Ponyboy and the gang, well he didn't keep much from Pony, but he kept one thing secret. His little sisters, Annabella Johanna Cade and Arabella Joanne Cade, were the only secret protected fiercely. He never told anyone about his two little sisters.
He tried to remember what they looked like. He imagined two little eight year old girls with long black hair and dark brown eyes. They were twin girls, identical in almost every aspect. He picked some flowers from the neighbor's garden. They were forget-me-nots, his sister Anna's favorite flowers. He quietly walked past the house, unaware he'd caught Pony's attention by not stopping.
Pony was about to call out, when he saw the flowers. He frowned, but was soon preoccupied with keeping Sodapop quiet.
"Isn't that Johnny? Where's he goi—"
"Shut yer trap! Go get the guys and we'll follow him, but we gotta be quiet!" Pony snapped.
Soda nodded as Pony went to follow Johnny. Soda rounded up the gang and they followed Johnny, even Darry. He wanted to make sure the boys didn't embarrass Johnny, especially if he was actually having a date. No one made a sound as they watched him turn into the cemetery. They followed him keeping a distance.
She walks to school with the lunch she packed,
Nobody knows what she's holding back
Wearing the same dress she wore yesterday,
She hides the bruises with the linen and lace, oh
Johnny looked down at his two sisters. He grinned and ruffled their hair gently. Both girls smiled at their big brother. Annabella was holding their lunches, giving Johnny and Arabella theirs. Anna wiped her grubby hands on her ragged linen and lace dress. Johnny decided he really needed to do the laundry. His lazy ass mother was too preoccupied screaming at his drunken father to give a damn about her five year old girls who were just starting kindergarten. Johnny assumed he'd have to pick them up after he got out too. He was in the fifth grade at the time. He grabbed their backpacks and they left for school.
The teacher wonders but she doesn't ask
It's hard to see the pain behind the mask
Bearing the burden of a secret storm
Sometimes she wishes she was never born
Johnny walked into the kindergarten classroom with them. He smiled and kissed their foreheads.
"You girls behave, ya hear me?" he said.
"Yes Jo-bear," Anna said.
Johnny smiled and told Ara everything would be fine. He backed away as the teacher approached them.
"Hello girls," she said smiling. "My name's Ms. Sweetbriar. We're going to have lots of fun in my class room."
Ara hid behind Anna. Anna smiled, but it faltered as she saw the teacher looking at her bruised arm. She pulled down the sleeve, and Ms. Sweetbriar said nothing.
"My name's Annabella Cade, but Johnny and Ara call me Anna," Anna said. "This is my twin sister, Arabella; we just call her Ara though."
Ara waved shyly. Johnny smiled knowing they'd be all right. He turned and walked away from the class room.
Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place
Where she's loved concrete angel
Johnny couldn't take it. He couldn't stand seeing her cry like that. His father had been brutal to them that night, but for some reason, poor Annabella got it the worst. Johnny was sitting on his bed with the twins cuddled up next to him. Arabella was silent, as was Johnny, as Anna cried her fragile heart out. She never cried in front of their father, and that's what made Johnny proud. She never cried in front of that S.O.B. no matter how hard he hit her.
Johnny and Arabella always cried. Arabella bruised easily, and it broke Johnny's heart to see his sisters in so much pain. He loved the two more than the world, more than his own life. Annabella eventually stopped crying and looked up at Johnny. Johnny was quietly crying, and it hurt Anna to see him like that. She cuddled against him and began to tell one of her stories.
It reflected her favorite quote, "Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us the dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten." G. K. Chesterton had said that, and he was one of her favorite writers. Johnny smiled and hugged her. She then recited a poem she'd memorized by heart.
(The following is a poem written by G.K. Chesterton.)
"This much, O heaven—if I should brood or rave,
Pity me not; but let the world be fed,
Yea, in my madness if I strike me dead,
Heed you the grass that grows upon my grave.
If I dare snarl between this sun and sod,
Whimper and clamour, give me grace to own,
In sun and rain and fruit in season shown,
The shining silence of the scorn of God.
Thank God the stars are set beyond my power,
If I must travail in a night of wrath,
Thank God my tears will never vex a moth,
Nor any curse of mine cut down a flower.
Men say the sun was darkened: yet I had
Thought it beat brightly, even on—Calvary:
And He that hung upon the Torturing Tree
Heard all the crickets singing, and was glad."
"A Prayer in Darkness", Johnny remembered the name of that one. He hugged his sister tightly and they fell asleep.
Somebody cries in the middle of the night
The neighbors hear but they turn out the light
A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate
When morning comes it will be too late
Johnny cussed as he called the hospital. He could hear the girls crying, his momma screaming. Johnny just cried into the phone, "He's killin' her!"
They said they'd come fast, but they didn't come fast enough. He went back upstairs. His dad had his hands on Anna, his momma actually trying to get him to stop for once. Ara clutched Johnny's shirt in fear as the senseless violence tore her innocence away from her.
Johnny couldn't take it! He was watching his kid sister getting beaten to death. He looked down at scared little Ara, and made a decision. Anna had gone still, no longer screaming, but his momma still was. She was calling their father an idiot saying they'd never be able to explain the girl's death. Johnny grabbed Ara and ran.
He found a nice house on the West Side. The people in the house had no children, but they wanted a little girl. Johnny looked at Ara and gave her a picture. It was of the three of them. He rang the doorbell and told her to be brave for the both of them. Ara did as Johnny said.
Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place
Where she's loved concrete angel
Lies…all lies! Just because she was sick, it didn't mean that's what killed her! They ruled it as a death by leukemia. She fell down the steps and blood vessels broke and they said that's why she died. That S.O.B got away with it! Johnny was furious, but he told himself he had to be brave, for Ara sake.
Anna was the sweetest, kindest girl you'd ever meet. She always wanted to help others despite her home being the equivalent to hell. She loved her siblings with all her might and never once let them get hurt by someone other than their dad. Even she couldn't fend off their father.
He remembered her crumpled lifeless body on the floor when he'd returned. He felt sorrow, and anguish, but didn't cry. He didn't know what to do.
A statue stands in a shaded place
An angel girl with an upturned face
A name is written on a polished rock
A broken heart that the world forgot
Johnny didn't move or speak. People came to say they were sorry for their loss. Ms. Sweetbriar was the only one who didn't speak to Mr. and Mrs. Cade. She spoke solely to Johnny, in a sad tone.
"They did it didn't they?" she asked quietly.
Johnny nodded, his eyes filling with tears. Ms. Sweetbriar hugged him and said, "My brother found a little girl the other night. Isn't that Arabella?"
"Please…don't tell anyone Ms. Sweetbriar," Johnny begged in a hushed whisper. "She deserves a better future."
The woman stared at the teen. He had a look of determination. He was going to keep Ara safe, no matter the costs. If his parents ever found out he'd given Arabella to Ms. Sweetbriar's brother, Johnny'd be dead for sure. The lady gave him a hug and said, "Thank you for my niece."
Johnny hugged her back. It was a cold September day, the branches rustled in the wind. The two stared at the grave for a while. Johnny had provided the inscription. He'd slipped it to the man who carved the headstone. It was the quote by G.K. Chesterton. Ms. Sweetbriar turned to him and asked him about it.
"It was her favorite quote," Johnny said softly. "She liked to make up tales about knights and dragons and whatnot."
She hugged him and said, "She'll be missed dearly, Annabella was a sweet girl."
It was the last time he'd ever see Ms. Sweetbriar. It was the last time he ever spoke to anyone about Arabella.
Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place
Where she's loved concrete angel
Johnny kept it secret from his parents. They beat him silly trying to figure out what happened to Arabella, but the boy kept his mouth shut. When Pony asked him about those girls, he simply lied and said they were his cousins and that they'd left to go back to their parents. He lied to the gang about the funeral, saying they were unrelated and therefore, there was no reason for them to attend Annabella's funeral.
He kept it quiet and eventually it faded from memory, but Johnny would always remember that broken hearted little girl. He would always remember her tales of joy and happiness, lies and betrayal, of good and evil, and of triumph. He's never be able to forget Anna, nor would he ever forget sweet Ara, where ever she was.
"Johnnycakes?"
Johnny jumped up and turned to see Dallas. Tears filled his dark eyes, something Dally didn't like.
"What's up kid?" he asked.
"W-W-What are you doing here?" Johnny demanded.
"Everyone's here Johnnycake. Even Darry's here," Dally said.
"Thanks for ratting us out Dal," Pony grumbled irritably.
Ponyboy came out from behind a bush and approached Johnny.
"What's going on?" he asked Johnny.
Darry looked down at the headstone and asked, "Who is this Johnny?"
"Annabella Johanna Cade," Steve read. "Who's she?"
Johnny just bit his lip. He closed his eyes and tried not to cry.
"Jo-bear?"
He spun around and looked at a girl. She looked about eight years old, perfectly healthy, dressed in a blouse and skirt. Her hair was as black as a raven's wing, eyes as dark as his own.
"Ara?" he rasped. "Ara is that you?"
"Hey Ar! Where'd ya go sweetheart?"
A woman appeared beside the little girl, along with younger woman.
"Johnathan Cade is that you?" the older lady asked.
"Ms. Sweetbriar?" Johnny said his eyes widening.
"Hello Johnathan," the woman smiled at him.
"JOHNNY!" the little girl screamed bolting for him.
She grabbed his waist and hugged him. She looked up at Johnny, and saw he was crying. He sunk to his knees and hugged the little girl.
"…Arabella…Ara…I'm so sorry….I hope you know I love you…" he blubbered.
"It's okay Johnny…" the little girl replied. "You did what you thought was best for me."
"Johnny who are these people?" Darry asked.
"I'm Ms. Sweetbriar," the older woman said. "These are my nieces, Arizona and Arabella."
"Arabella is my cousin," Arizona said smiling at Johnny. "Who are you?"
"Zona this is my brother, my actual brother, Johnny!" Arabella said.
"I sent her to live with your uncle," Johnny said rather quietly. "After…"
Johnny couldn't finish. He just held onto Ara as if she was his lifeline. Pony poked Johnny, and he turned to look at the gang. His eyes were full of tears. Dally looked at Johnny with a strangely soft expression. The others looked like they were waiting for him to finish.
"…After Annabella died," Arabella said as she looked towards the gang. "My name is Arabella Joanne Cade Sweetbriar. I once had a sister, a twin sister her name was Annabella Johanna Cade. Our father beat us often, including our big brother Johnny. Annabella died after he threw her down a flight of stairs and beat her. J-J-Johnny didn't want me to get hurt…so he took me away. He'd heard our teacher's brother wanted a daughter…so why not give them one? God I've missed you big brother."
"I've missed you too little sis," Johnny cried.
Darry set a hand on Johnny's shoulder as he let her go. He looked over the little girl. She'd grown taller and thinner. Her dark eyes still held the fear that had been burned into them years ago, but she seemed happy.
Ponyboy looked hurt as he asked, "Why didn't you tell us Johnny?"
Johnny inhaled and looked at his best friend. He looked straight into Pony's green eyes and asked, "Would you do anything for your brothers? If Darry or Soda were ever hurt or hurting would you do anything to save or help them?"
"Of course!" Pony exclaimed. "They're my brothers."
"Darry?"
"Yeah Johnny?"
"Would you do whatever it took to protect your little brothers?"
"Of course, that's what a big brother it supposed to do."
"Exactly," Johnny said. "Just like Darry, I did everything I could to protect my little sisters, but when I couldn't save Anna…I knew I had to do something to save Ara. I felt it was my responsibility as the big brother to save her, so I gave her away. Like you said Pony, you'd do whatever it took to protect Darry and Soda because they're your brothers; I lied to protect Ara from my parents."
Arabella looked over at her aunt and asked, "Can I please hang out with Johnny Aunt May? I haven't seen him in three years!"
"Arizona?" Ms. Sweetbriar looked over to her.
"Sure I'll hang out with the guys," Arizona said. "They are Johnny's friends right?"
"Yeah!" Johnny said. "I'd trust these guys with my life. I'm sorry I lied to you Pony, but if my dad knew what I'd done…."
Ponyboy nodded and then looked down at the little girl.
"Hey I'm Ponyboy Curtis," he said holding out his hand.
"I'm Arabella Cade Sweetbriar," she said shaking his hand.
"I'm Arizona Sweetbriar," the blonde haired girl said smiling.
Ponyboy smiled and started pointing. He pointed to a russet haired boy with brown eyes and said, "That's my brother Sodapop. The big, strong-looking guy is my other brother Darry. The only blonde guy here is Dallas, the guy in the Mickey Mouse shirt is Keith, but we call him Two-Bit, and the last guy is Steve."
The guys waved to the girls, smiles and handshakes were exchanged. Soon the group dispersed, leaving Dally, Pony, and Johnny alone with Arizona and Arabella. Arabella was smiling at Dallas, and surprisingly he gave her a slight smile back. Dally then asked, "How old are ya shrimp?"
"Eight," Ara said. "I'm about eight years younger than Johnny."
"Then eight's about right," Dally said. "Jeez Johnnycakes was Annabella a shrimp too?"
Ara laughed and said, "She was shorter than I was."
"You were the older twin," Johnny reminded her gently.
"Yeah by one whole minute," Ara said.
Dally scooped Arabella up into his arms and said, "Yer mighty cute shorty."
"I thought ya didn't like kids Dal," Pony said.
"But this ain't jus' some kid Pone," Dally responded. "It's Johnny's kid sister."
"Dally's been kinda like my big brother," Johnny told Ara.
"Does that mean I get to call him Dallykins?" Ara teased.
"Whatever Ara-dooooooooo," Dally smirked.
Ponyboy's eyes were nearly popping out of his skull. If he'd said that, Dally would've bashed his head in. Arizona seemed to notice because she asked, "He usually ain't this sweet huh?"
"Uh-uh," Pony said. "Wonder why he's decided to change that."
"Whatever," Arizona said, "As long as he doesn't hurt my adopted baby cousin."
Pony looked at her and said, "Dally wouldn't dream of hurtin' her. She's too important to Johnny."
"So?" Arizona asked.
"So, him and Dally are real close," Pony told her. "Dally wouldn't do anything to hurt Johnny."
"If you two are done contemplating on whether or not I'm gonna shank the kid, which I AM NOT, then can we get moving?" Dally interrupted.
"Wow he knows a big word like contemplating?" Arizona teased.
Dally gave her the death glare, but she returned it full force. He carted Ara around on his shoulders as they walked to the park. Johnny sat on the swings next to Dally. He looked over at Dally and asked, "Why can't things stay like this?"
Dally looked over at Johnny and said, "I just dunno Johnny. The world's a bitch."
"I wish it'd stay this way…" Johnny sighed looking at Ara.
She was hanging upside down, a smile on her face. Her black hair hung down like a curtain. Ponyboy was right next to her, Arizona underneath the both of them. Pony was smiling and laughing as he pulled Arabella back into a sitting position on top of the jungle gym. Arizona climbed up to join them, Arabella waving to Johnny. He jumped up and ran over to join them.
Dally sighed and looked at the scene before him. Arizona was on the side watching them carefully as Pony, Johnny, and Ara played on the jungle gym. They were all smiling, and it was the happiest Dally thought he'd ever seen Johnny.
The sun had begun to set by the time Ara fell asleep. Arizona said goodbye and slipped Johnny a slip of paper. He looked at the number and looked back at her. Arizona whispered, "Call whenever you can please. Ara would love it."
"I can't—"
"I'm sure Darry would let you use our phone sometime," Ponyboy interrupted him.
Johnny nearly cried as he watched them walk away. Pony and Dally stood behind Johnny waiting for him. They turned around and headed back for the Curtis house, Johnny smiling sadly the entire way back.