A/n: Hi, like my other songfics, this has been re-edited to exclude the song lyrics I had in it originally, I hope you still like it!
The blood drained from Chakotay's knuckles as his hands clenched into fists held stiffly at his sides, pressing against the pristine fabric of his new Starfleet uniform as he stared out of one of Voyager's Mess Hall's large viewports, the black expanse that formed space for the human eye looking empty and lifeless, though he knew it was as littered with stars here, in the Delta Quadrant, as it was back home. Home. The word stabbed him just as much in the loneliness of his own thoughts as it had every time the word had left Janeway's mouth during one of her many motivational speeches during the last three days, "The distances may be huge, but I truly believe that together we'll find a faster route home, a wormhole, alien technology, maybe we'll even find the Caretaker's mate…" Her words, in that confident, slightly ingratiating voice of hers, spun around his sleep deprived mind over and over again, along with a single question, did she really believe her own words? More importantly, did he? Had he done the right thing in pushing his crew to collaborate with the very people he'd led them in the fight against?
He jumped as a warm hard brushed his shoulder and dragged his eyes away from the desolate view outside to see the concerned face of B'Elanna Torres looking up at him, she was no longer in her unfamiliar new uniform with it's canary yellow highlights designating her post in Engineering, but again wearing the worn casuals of the Maquis, which somehow made him relax. "Chakotay, it's 0200 hours, what are you doing here?"
He smiled sheepishly "Couldn't sleep. I thought, since no other humans have seen this part of the galaxy, I may as well take in the view."
He heard the echo of a bitter laugh under her breath, "And how long did Janeway say we'd have to enjoy this view if we don't find some sort of miraculous shortcut?"
He tiredly rubbed his forehead where it had long since been aching, feeling the small indentations the blue ink of his tattoo had made in his tanned forehead as he did so. "About seventy years, give or take month or two." He replied honestly, looking his friend directly in the eye as she winced, her gaze fleeing painfully downwards as the full reality of their situation hit her, perhaps for the first time.
She took a deep, stabilising breath. "I've…our whole crew's been wondering if you're really going to stick with this Janeway woman for all that time…"
"She's Captain to you now B'Elanna, to all of us." He informed her sharply.
The half-Klingon snorted, "P'tagh! She'll never be anything to me, let alone my Captain…"
"And yet here we are!" He snapped, shocking her so much that she fell silent and guilt nibbled at him. "I'm sorry B'Elanna, but that's the way it is, we all have to be one crew now, for our own survival…"
"You're parroting her again!" B'Elanna practically shouted before somehow managing to rein in that famous Klingon influenced temper of hers, taking another breath and staring up at him seriously, "Look, I know you're in an impossible position… Your crew, we all trust you with our lives, but I'm just warning you to not get too taken in by Janeway's dreams of home, they might blind you from seeing what's best for all of us, Maquis and Starfleet." He couldn't reply and she gave his arm a friendly squeeze, "Goodnight…Commander."
He nodded wordlessly to her as she left, finding his gaze drawn inexorably back to the vacuum of stars outside. Maquis and Starfleet, trapped together in this unknown, seemingly endless journey, sink or swim, could they really do it? He caught his reflection on the shining bulkhead, the Maquis man in full Starfleet dress, and sighed.
Seven walked purposefully into the Mess Hall, her eyes thirstily scanning the room for him, but when she saw his tall, handsome figure standing alone by the viewport, like a single island in a motionless sea, her courage momentarily failed her. Perhaps she should leave him alone; this was after all, a special day for the whole crew… As this thought passed through her mind however, his heavy sigh filtered through her enhanced ears and she felt that now familiar pull towards him and gingerly touched his arm as her eyes followed his gaze, beyond the Starfleet convoy protectively surrounding the hull and out to the multicoloured sphere, with its swirling blue, cloud tinged, atmosphere and its lush green landmasses, Earth. "Are you alright Commander?" she asked softly.
His eyes continued to look far away for a second, but as they met hers they filled with a warm affection which melted her fears and her heart. "I will be, if you call me Chakotay."
She inclined her head, unable to stop herself from smiling at his teasing. "Can I presume you're glad to be home Chakotay?"
He smiled at the gentleness in her voice, the concern. "Yes...Yes, I am." He answered with honest happiness, before his gaze wandered out to the longed for view again, "I just…never really thought I'd see it again…" He saw her nod out of the corner of his eye and pulled her around to face him, "How are you, really? I know you weren't ever as invested in returning to Earth as the rest of us…"
Her brow furrowed thoughtfully for a moment before she gave a careful answer, "Not for the planet itself, but the crew, which has become my Collective, my family, all desired it for so long and I find that I am sharing their happiness…" She swallowed hard and glanced furtively down at the planet, "Despite that, I cannot say that I am not fearful of what lies ahead for me…"
His kiss, gentle and loving, cut her off and she could only gaze up at him in silence when he pulled back, cupping her chin in his hands. "For us, what lays ahead for us Seven." He whispered, smiling as she slipped her hand in his and they both turned back to the window.
Chakotay smiled happily as he stepped out into the warm summer night, the stars just starting to make their appearance in the sky, and saw his eight year old daughter standing in the centre of the patio staring up at them, her dark hair blowing in the soft breeze. "What are you doing out here Aria honey?" He asked as he walked up beside her.
"I'm looking at the stars Papa, aren't they beautiful?" Aria answered as she leaned into his side.
Chakotay nodded smilingly in agreement. "Yes, they are. Has anyone ever told you their names?"
Aria looked up at him with her pair of earnest and direct blue eyes inherited from her mother. "Mama told me some of their Borg designations one time, does that count?"
Chakotay laughed, "They do, I suppose… But I know some more…romantic names for them."
"Tell me, Tell me!" She insisted immediately.
"Okay!" He laughed, kneeling down slightly and pointing up upwards, "That's Orion, there's the Huntsman and that's the Evening Star…"
After his explanation Aria fell into a thoughtful silence for a while before asking suddenly, "Papa, do you ever miss living up there, with the stars?"
Chakotay was struck dumb for a moment, then laughed internally at Aria falling into Seven's disarming habit of asking unexpected, thought provoking questions out of the blue. "Well…" He started, pondering hard as the sky hung above his home, thinking of all his turbulent years on Voyager. "Yes Aria, I do, but it isn't space that I miss, not really, it was the people I was with that made my life happy, do you understand?"
"I think so Papa." She murmured, suddenly hugging him hard. "It's me and Mama and Nate that make you happy now, right?"
He stroked her hair lovingly. "Like nothing else sweetheart." He told her sincerely before lifting her face up to his, "Speaking of Nate, Mama had to go feed him so we've to clean up the kitchen for her, all right?"
Aria uttered a dramatic, put upon sigh. "Okay…" She groaned, before giggling at his frown and brightening, "If we do it quick, can I help you and Mama tuck him in?"
"Of course." He replied as he guided her back into the house, "You know how much he likes to play with his big sister." She laughed happily and bounced off further into the house as Chakotay pondered her question and the last ten years since Voyager had made it home, a marriage to Seven going stronger than ever, their angel Aria and their new, and wholly unexpected, bundle of joy their two month old son Nate. Breathing a silent thanks to fate, he shut the door with a last, fleeting glance up at the sky.
A/n: PLEASE REVIEW! :D