A oneshot written for what-is-the-color-of-love. Be warned – it's kind of odd, and I guess it's an idea that would work out better as a long story, but I didn't feel like putting that much effort in XD

Remembering Edward

It was a beautiful morning in the spring of 1985, and Central was at peace. The first female leader of the country, Prime Minister Hughes, worked diligently at her desk, a photo of her father watching her with pride. Not so far away, Central's finest mechanic tinkered with her latest project, waiting for her grandchildren to come home. Slightly farther afield, a train pulled into the station, diesel engines humming as it came to a smooth stop.

Edward Elric stepped out of the train and shaded his eyes against the brilliant sunlight as he stared out into the city he called home.

"Bloody hell. A year, Al. A year away from Central. Can you believe we're home?"

Alphonse clapped his hand on Ed's shoulder, misjudging his own strength again and making his cousin's knees buckle. "Not just yet, cuz. We've got to visit Grandma Winry, remember?"

"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell her we were coming in today."

"Edward, you idiot!"

"Well, sorry if I was thinking about things other than letting that hag know we were back!"

Al smacked Ed on the back of the head. "Have some respect for your elders."

"Fine, fine, whatever. You go visit her, I'll go report for the both of us, kay?"

"Works for me. See you later!" Al gave his younger cousin a bone-crushing hug, before dashing off.

"Jeez, it's like he enjoys being hit with a wrench or something…" Ed shrugged, hoisting his backpack onto his back, then set off through the streets towards Headquarters.

Being the grandson of the most talented State Alchemist in history had its challenges. Whenever Ed made a mistake, it was always 'Your grandfather wouldn't have done that'. Whenever Ed did something great, it was 'That's your good genes coming through'.

Passing a shop window, Ed glanced at the glass. His reflection stared back, molten-gold eyes a reminder of his heritage. Apparently he was absolutely the spitting image of the original Edward Elric, even down to his fashion sense. Of course, he wouldn't know, given that Ed the First had died before he was born.

In fact, as luck would have it, the only person who never compared him to his famous grandfather was also one of the few people he hated with a sincere passion.

Ed groaned when he realized he was already at Headquarters. "Fuck this shit. I don't want to see him, I don't want to hear him, I don't want to know his fucking name or rank or aaaargh…"

With a final moan of defeat, he pushed through the doors to make his report to his direct superior – Colonel Envy Vincia.

Envy was lounging on the couch in his office, Walkman headphones clasped over his ears, when the door was kicked open, handle slamming against the plaster of the wall.

"Yo!"

Envy ignored the pipsqueak, bobbing his head along to his music.

"Hey! Colonel!" Ed tore the headphones off of Envy's head. "I'm back! Remember me?"

Envy sat up, green strands falling over his face, and considered for a moment. "Nope. Are you a gigolo?"

A flush spread across the blond's face. "I am not a – a – damn you! Our train just got in ten minutes ago, and I'm here, and I want to go home and eat the biggest damn hamburger ever, so can we get this over with?"

Envy rose lazily to his feet, stretching out his limbs, then glared at Ed through his slitted lids. "Don't tell me what to do, chibi."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MINISCULE BEAN SPROUT?"

The colonel bit his lip to hold back the response that begged to come out of his mouth. You're really not helping this 'I'm not my grandfather' business. But of course, that would have betrayed that he'd known Edward Elric the Elder back when he was alive. Instead, he slid behind the desk and propped his feet up on the hardwood, wishing (not for the first time) that he dared wear his old outfit. It had been so much more comfortable, and these shoes were killing him.

"Alright, Spark Alchemist. How are things in Xing?"

"When we first arrived, they were quite tense – Emperor Ling Yao's death caused quite a stir. We were accused several times of meddling in affairs that have nothing to do with us, although we had his primary wife's backing."

"Was there talk of splitting the clans again?"

"At first there was, but I believe our presence helped remind them of the success and wealth that the Emperor brought when he rose to power, and how Edward Elric the Elder helped him achieve that. The major troublemaker was a member of the Zhang clan…"

Not for the first time, Envy was tempted to tell the eighteen-year-old that he had, in fact, been there for most of the Emperor's famed rise. Of course, that would have meant revealing that he had been on the other side of the conflict.

His mind drifted off while the blond continued reporting. He'd never known how far his shapeshifting could be pushed until he transformed himself into a cloud of dust. Envy had meant to die – to kill himself – at that moment, but self-preservation had kicked in at the last moment.

For a long time he'd lain there in a kind of a catatonia or coma, unaware that he was truly still alive and could transform back. Only a few of the undead soldiers stumbling upon him and feeding him with their precious red stones had galvanized him back into life, returning to the surface –

- and finding himself alone. The Elrics were married with children. His father and siblings were all dead. He'd lain as dust on a stone floor for eight years.

"…and I think the mission, overall, was a resounding success." Envy sat up and tried to look like he was paying attention.

Ed wasn't fooled. "What the hell, Colonel? You weren't even listening!"

"Of course I was!"

"Oh yeah? Who's the fourth son of the fifteenth clan?"

"Who the fuck cares?"

Ed threw his hands in the hair. "You are the worst colonel ever! Who put a stupid palm tree like you in charge anyway?"

"You don't want to know. Seriously."

Ed sighed and headed for the door, not even waiting for a dismissal. "It was probably that fucked-up father of yours –"

Suddenly, Envy was looming over him, door slammed shut. The colonel had moved so fast that his hair was still billowing around him.

"What. Did. You. Say." His purple eyes were dark and menacing, in a way Ed never thought the harmless-looking Colonel could look at him.

"I – uh – I just said that your father probably, uhm – but I didn't mean anything by it!" Ed struggled through his words, trying to locate his exact faux pas.

Envy took a step towards him, then another, slowly backing Ed against the wall. "How do you know my father?"

"I – I don't know…I just remember meeting him once."

"Describe him."

"Tall…blond hair, creepy as fuck, and he didn't…" Ed frowned. "I must be remembering this part wrong. He didn't need a circle to do alchemy, like my grandpa, but he didn't even need to clap."

Envy grasped the boy's arm tightly, speaking through gritted teeth. "That's impossible. Who did you hear that from?"

"Nobody."

"Your grandfather? Great-uncle?"

"I didn't! Besides, they died before I was born, I couldn't have heard anything from them!" Ed was starting to look a little panicked. "I just remember this, okay?"

"From when?" Envy shook the shorter boy fiercely. "When, dammit!"

"I…I don't know. I just suddenly remembered that one day. It must have been…I don't know, maybe a picture in a book?" Ed struggled, then broke free of Envy's grasp, rubbing his arm. "What's the matter with you?"

Envy stood there, speechless. He didn't move as Ed opened the door and rushed out of the office. Only when the door slammed shut again did he allow himself to collapse to the ground.

"I was so sure it wasn't him," he murmured. "Fuck that stupid brat! He keeps…he just keeps coming back to haunt me!"

He got to his feet, then leant against the wall, running a hand through his hair. It had been easy to ignore before. But now it was going to be impossible to let slip by.

"THERE YOU ARE!" Ed narrowly ducked a wrench as it flew past his head.

"Watch it, Grandma!"

Winry chuckled, waggling her finger at him. "That's what you get for not visiting me first thing!"

"I had to report in, Grandma. Year-long mission, remember?"

She harrumphed. "You should have visited me first. Anyway, look at this!" She held up a half-finished piece of automail. "I've got a commission for northern automail, and it's going to be an absolute beauty when it's finished."

He snorted. "How old are you again, Grams?"

"Old enough to kick your ass." She picked up her cane from where it rested next to her workbench, and walked slowly over to her chair. Easing herself into it, she tapped the resting Al on the knee.

"Al, dear, make your brother and I some tea, will you?"

Al opened his eyes and groaned. "He's my cousin, Grandma Winry, not my brother."

"I'm sorry, I keep slipping up. You just look so much like them when they were young."

Ed rolled his eyes. Here she goes again.

"One time," she began to reminisce fondly, "they tried to make me a doll out of sand, with their alchemy. I got so frightened, though – it looked so scary! So I started crying."

"Yeah, I remember that. Sorry."

Winry's head snapped towards Ed in shock.

"Uh, I mean…I remember Dad telling me about that." He sighed inwardly. Close save.

Winry relaxed as well, although she looked slightly disappointed. "I was always so disappointed that you never got to meet your grandfather. It wasn't fair how young he died."

"Well, he lived a dangerous life, didn't he? Fighting artificial humans, bringing down corrupt governments…"

She laughed, fondling the wedding ring she still wore on her finger. "That was all before he even turned eighteen. No, he died in his sleep, just all of a sudden. After years and years of wars and alchemy and incredibly stupid and dangerous stunts that always ended up breaking his automail…he died in his sleep." She wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Oh jeez, I'm sorry, Grandma, I didn't mean to make you sad –"

"It's alright, dear. I just miss him, that's all."

An image came into Edward's head – of a young Winry, eyes droopy from exhaustion, leaning on a banister of what he recognized as the old house in Rizenbul. She was waving goodbye – to him, as he walked away.

Ed blinked rapidly until the image had filed itself away into his mind, into his memories where it belonged. It wasn't the first of its kind.

In fact, for almost the entire year he'd been away, he'd been remembering somebody else's life.

Envy wondered how he could have been so stupid.

He kicked at a brick in irritation, watching it shatter against the wall. He'd spent more than sixty years clinging to life, holding on to the gift Father had given to him and cherishing his few Philosopher's Stones. Sixty years hadn't been enough to erase the memory of the blond boy, especially when he became a folk hero. And now – now –

"Damn it!"

He had to know. He hadn't finally watched the Elric hero die only to have him come right back.

In a flash of red lightning, the military uniform dissolved away, leaving only skintight black and pale skin behind. Leaping into the air, Envy did a backflip and landed hard on the pavement, cracking it and leaving a deep hole. He grinned despite himself. It was good to be back to normal.

Ed tossed and turned, unable to sleep. He had too many questions, even on his first night back home – too many riddles without answers.

Why was he remembering things that never happened?

Whose memories were they?

He turned around, wrapping the sheet around himself – then nearly hit the ceiling with a scream. "AHH! What the FUCK! Are you DOING! IN! My BEDROOM?"

Envy leapt from the windowsill onto the bed, covering Ed's mouth with his hand. "Shush, you. Don't wake up the old bat, or your brother."

"Mmmf!"

"Sorry. Cousin. Whatever." Envy didn't remove his hand, staring into Ed's golden eyes. "What do you remember, Spark? How much have you been remembering?"

Ed reached up and pulled Envy's hand down. "What are you talking about?"

"You never met Father. You can't have met him. The older Edward killed him fifty-three years before you were born."

"What the fuck? Grandpa killed your dad?"

Envy rolled his eyes. "Not my father, Father. As in, capital F, Father."

Ed blinked, then his eyes went wide. "Hoooly shit. As in, the big bad? The one who tried to destroy all of Amestris?"

"Actually, he tried to turn Amestris into a philosopher's stone. Not exactly destruction."

"Whatever! But I was talking about your father, Colonel –"

"Same thing."

"S-s-s-s-s-s-s…" Ed finally gave up stuttering, mouth hanging open. Envy smirked.

"So tell me. How long have you been getting your grandpa's memories?"

Ed shook his head, trying to clear it. "I'm such an idiot," he muttered. "Of course they're his." He looked up at Envy. "About a year now. Just a couple here and there." He jabbed a finger into Envy's chest. "Now answer some of my questions, bastard Colonel. Who the hell are you?"

Envy grabbed Ed's offending hand and pinned it against the wall. "Ya really want to know?" he asked with a grin, leaning in close.

Ed gulped. "You show up in my bedroom in the middle of the night and start babbling weird shit about fathers and memories that, honestly, I barely understand – hell yes, I want to know!"

The sin licked his lips. Him intimidating the chibi – this was how it was supposed to be. "Ever heard of Envy?"

Ed's face went pale, and the homunculus made a mental note to catalogue the boy's various different reactions. "No – I mean, yes, yes, I have. But – you're fucking with me. There's no way you're not. You are totally and absolutely fucking with me."

"Not in the least."

"Envy is dead. All of the homunculi are dead."

"Keep saying that and maybe it'll come true." Envy chuckled. "You'll have bored me to death."

Ed scowled. "Just go away, you stupid palm tree."

"There it is again!" Envy punched the wall next to Ed, startling him and shocking his hair on end. "Palm tree. The short rants. The swearing. Kicking open the door."

"Stop it –"

"Everyone keeps thinking you and Alphonse are brothers, and you act like it, too. The way you walk, the way you hold yourself – and the way you look, damn it! You don't look just like him, you are exactly like him, in every single way." Envy tugged Ed's hair roughly out of its braid, letting its silken strands slide through his white fingers. "You hate being compared to him, yet you grow your hair long and braid it. I've even watched you sparring and you fight the same way."

"Stop it!"

Envy leant his forehead against Ed's, closing his eyes. "You remembered Father, and you've remembered other things. Do you remember the Gate? Come on, o'chibi. Remember. Please. Remember."

Ed pushed him away with more force than necessary, although with his weight, the homunculus was only pushed to the bed. "You loved him."

Envy opened his eyes. "Wh…" He couldn't shape his mouth to the words.

"I'll accept that you're Envy – or at least, that you knew him. I'll accept that you are here, right now. You loved him, didn't you? That's why you're here, trying desperately to…to turn me into – into him. Just like everyone else." Ed's head was bowed, hair hanging over his face. With an unfamiliar pang, Envy noticed that he was shaking.

"But I –"

"Go away." A tear rolled off of Ed's cheek and dripped onto the floor.

Envy reached out, then tore himself away. He climbed up onto the windowsill, feeling the wind cut into his face. "You're a cruel bastard, you know that? Stupid git."

Ed was silent, and Envy shook his head. "You think I loved him? That fucking brat? You're just as bad as him! Thinking the world revolves around you…" Suddenly Envy grasped a handful of dark-green hair, yanking at it miserably. "The problem was, with him, it did."

Then he was gone, jumping into the blackness of the night like a shade shifting with the light.

Ed's head hurt.

The Colonel in a…skirt? The fact had only just processed, yet it didn't seem odd.

He'd seen it before.

When?

A place of red light.

An empty suit of armour – not from the pictures he'd seen of the first Alphonse Elric. A different one.

The Colonel, holding a saber – The Colonel…attacking him?

The Colonel. Colonel Vincia. Envy the sin. Envy the homunculus.

Ed ran to the washroom and retched into the toilet, his stomach suddenly betraying him. Oh god, his head hurt. This was worse than having automail attached.

His hand suddenly went to his arm. Flesh. His leg. Flesh. No metal. No automail.

What?

What was going on?

He was so dizzy.

"Stop it," he murmured, but his lips had stopped working properly. A creeping sensation of numbness started to crawl up his body.

He stared into the mirror, golden eyes large with a sudden fear. For a moment he thought the mirror was a window, and the person in the mirror was the Fullmetal Alchemist.

"Grandpa, help me!" he cried, pressing his hand against the mirror-glass. "Help me, please…I can't –"

His eyes suddenly blurred, giving him the illusion of two worlds overlaid and slightly off-kilter from each other.

Ed looked down. The floor opened under his feet and looked back at him.

Envy drove his fist into the wall, imagining it was the Elric boy's face. Again. Again. The concrete splintered almost effortlessly under his white knuckles, sparks of red healing up any cuts or scrapes.

He hadn't loved him. He'd hated those boys so much, more than any of the other homunculi. He'd hated them.

He'd hated Edward Elric.

He hated Edward Elric.

He hated him.

"I hate him. I hated him. I hate him." He repeated the mantra viciously until his reserves of energy were exhausted, and he sank to the ground.

Homunculi didn't feel love. They didn't feel anything except the sin they were born to be. Envy was envious. Pride was proud. Wrath was wrathful. That was how it worked. That was what they were.

Envy swept his hair out of the way and looked up at the moon, remembering what he'd heard about its shadow changing the circle. He chuckled bitterly.

"All that work and Hohenheim still screwed us over. Humans beat us in the end." Even over half a century later, it still left a bitter taste in his mouth.

He sighed. Perhaps it was the years with humans that had been a bad influence…but he supposed he had had a grudging admiration for the Fullmetal Alchemist. He'd been smart, strong and fast, and determined to win out by force of will alone.

Envy threw his head back and laughed, surprising himself. "That dumb pipsqueak! I'll defeat you because I'm awesome, I'll defeat you because I'm better than you, haha! What a dumbass!"

The shadows of the alleyway hid the tears that streamed down his face even from himself.

Where am I? Ed wondered, pulling himself up. He'd just been – where had he just been? His head was all jumbled up.

"Winry – where's Winry? Where's Al?" He got to his feet and looked in the mirror.

"Jeez, I look weird. What the hell happened?" He blinked. "My voice is off, too. What's going on?"

Ed pushed open the door, feeling a strange sense of vertigo. He knew where he was. He was in Central. But where was this house? He knew this house. He knew it. He couldn't remember it.

"Hey, Al! Winry!" he called out, tottering down the hallway. His legs weren't quite working right – he'd have to get Winry to take a look at his automail.

Maybe I slipped and hit my head.

A door opened next to him, and Al walked out, rubbing his bleary eyes. "Ed, it's past midnight, what's the matter?"

Ed gaped. "What the hell did you do to your hair?"

"What are you talking about?"

"It's red!"

Al gave Ed an odd look, self-consciously fiddling with his dark red hair. "Again with the ginger jokes, Ed? Not everyone has the luck to be a carbon copy of Gramps, you know."

Ed rubbed at his eyes. "Honestly, I don't feel too good. Maybe I'm seeing things. Maybe I'm dreaming."

"What are you boys doing up so late?"

"Aunt Pinako! You're –" Ed turned – and froze.

Winry cocked her head quizzically as she walked slowly down the hall towards him.. "What's the matter, love?"

"Winry – you're –" Ed took a few steps towards her and traced her wizened cheek, before collapsing.

"Ed! What's wrong?" She pressed a hand against his forehead. It was burning hot.

"Al, we've got to get him to the hospital! He's running a fever!"

"What? You're kidding! He never gets sick!"

Winry shot him a sharp glare. "Well obviously he's been saving up. Now go call somebody. Go!"

Envy crawled into his office as the sun breached the horizon, feeling exhaustion weigh down on his limbs. He didn't sleep like humans did, but especially with his dwindling supply of red stones, he definitely tired more easily.

His Walkman was still lying on the couch, and slumping onto the black leather cushions, he jammed the headphones onto his head and clicked it on.

Highway run, into the midnight sun

Wheels go round and round, you're on my mind.

"No!" Next.

So long, I've been looking too hard, I've been waiting too long

Sometimes I don't know what I will find, I only know it's a matter of time

Envy threw the Walkman, headphones and all, against the wall. "I miss swing," he moaned, thinking back to the 40s and 50s. He'd worked in a bakery back then, before the idea of being part of the military again had even occurred to him.

He closed his eyes and summoned up a snatch of music from his long, long memory. Tapping his foot, he began to hum the melody, then sing it softly in a low baritone.

"I never feel a thing is real…when I'm away from you…out of your embrace, the world's a temporary parking place…"

He continued to sing quietly, definitely not thinking about Edward Elric as he did, and definitely not desperately searching for excuses about how he hated him.

Of course, he'd hated Greed too. Hadn't stopped him from having a small breakdown the first moment he was alone after the recalcitrant sin was boiled down.

Keep your friends close, but your enemies close.

"Say, it's only a paper moon, sailing over a cardboard sea…but it wouldn't be make-believe, if you believed in me."

Admiration. Rivalry. A need to keep him safe as a sacrifice. Self-loathing. The pieces were starting to come together in Envy's mind, painting a complete picture of what he'd actually felt for the Fullmetal Alchemist while he was alive. The trouble was, Envy wasn't sure if he liked it.

With a sigh, he threw his arm over his forehead. "If the brat's right, I'll never forgive myself." He thought of the tears he'd inadvertently caused, then shook his head. "What the hell does he have to cry about? Being compared to a famous person?"

He'd loved Edward Elric. There. He'd admitted it to himself. It had been a twisted kind of love, borne out of a strange respect and hatred and manifested through…well, more hatred, but it had been love after all.

This Edward Elric, however…The similarities were there. The passion was there. But when looking at his subordinate, he could never shake the feeling that there was a brick wall hiding everything important about him, everything that could give him depth.

"I must have been nuts to think they were the same person." Yet the theory persisted.

Round and round, thoughts chasing each other like dogs and sheep…Envy felt like he was going crazy, then reflected that he was probably already there.

A phone call broke through the silence, shocking him into falling off of the couch. Reaching up, he pulled the receiver down to where he lay. "Colonel Vincia speaking."

"Colonel, this is Nurse Daphne Maurier from Central Military Branch Hospital."

"Okay, what's going on?" As usual, he didn't bother with the usual courtesies and sidesteps.

"It's my duty to inform you that one of your subordinates is in the hospital."

"WHAT? Who the hell is it?"

"Edward Elric, the Spark Alchemist."

"What's – what's wrong with him?"

"A full diagnosis hasn't been made yet, but he is running an extremely high fever and seems to be delirious."

"Where is he? What ward?" A strange feeling was welling up in Envy's chest – one he didn't recognize.

"Ward 21, but it's suggested that he not have visitors –"

"Fuck that, I'm his superior! I'm coming in right fucking now and you can't stop me!" Envy slammed the phone down in fury, morphing into his military outfit as he ran out of the door of his office.

"Colonel Vincia, I've got some paperwork for you to –" He brushed past his secretary, sending papers fluttering through the air. Striding through them like a curtain, he barely noticed.

Envy suddenly found himself in a black military-issue car, with little to no memory of how he'd gotten there. He'd gone completely on autopilot.

He slammed down on the accelerator.

Five minutes later, having broken every record and speed limit on his way, he strode into the hospital.

"Ward 21, Edward Elric."

The clerk looked over his glasses at his computer screen. "I'm sorry, but Mr. Elric isn't ready for visitors - erk!" He grasped helplessly at the hand that had latched itself onto his throat, and was starting to lift up.

"I said," pronounced Envy menacingly, "Ward 21, Edward Elric."

"Up the stairs," he squeaked, struggling for air. "Go…ahead."

Envy dropped the clerk and continued on in purposeful strides. Nothing was going to stop him.

He flung open the door. "Hey! You! I didn't tell you you were allowed to get…sick…" He faltered.

It was worse than the nurse had let on. Ed's face was pale, sweat pouring down his cheeks and temples in rivulets. They'd even stuck an IV into his arm, white gauze keeping the needle in place.

"Who are you?" He looked to the side. An old woman with long, straight grey hair falling past her shoulders had Ed's other hand cradled in hers. Her blue eyes stared at him accusingly. "Are you that Colonel of his?"

"Yeah, that's me. I thought he wasn't supposed to have visitors?"

She chuckled. "I have my ways. I'm Winry, Winry Elric."

"Oh, you're Winry?" Envy sat down next to Ed. "That makes him your grandson, then."

She smiled, but the look in her eyes was sad and far away. "I suppose. Although I'm starting to wonder if there's more I don't understand."

Ed's eyes trembled under their lids.

"I wonder what he's dreaming about."

"I think I know." Envy reached forward and touched Ed's temple, the coldness enough to startle Ed into a state of semi-awakeness. His golden eyes were unnaturally bright, pupils dilated to pinpricks.

"I…I…I…" The single syllable repeated itself, falling off of Ed's dry lips. He licked them nervously. "I couldn't – I couldn't…oh god, I couldn't save her, I couldn't…I couldn't…I couldn't save her…" He kept repeating the same phrase over and over again until he finally fell back into silence.

"You know what that means?" asked Envy in a low voice. Winry nodded tersely, struggling to put her emotions into words.

"Ed…my Ed…and Al, they, um – there was a little girl. Her name was Nina Tucker. And that's what they always said. 'We couldn't save her.' Those exact words. It's probably just a coincidence, though," she said dismissively, but Envy shook his head.

"He remembers things he can't possibly remember. He knows things and people he shouldn't know." Envy kept his gaze fixed on Winry, but she obstinately looked away. "Fullmetal died before Spark was born – right?"

"Th-that's right."

"Think about it."

Winry shook her head. "No. I refuse to."

"Have it your way." Envy leant back and crossed his arms. "I'm not entirely convinced it's possible myself. They definitely act alike, but –"

"How would you know? You're far too young!"

He gave the grey-haired lady a condescending look. "Ya mean you haven't figured out who I am yet?"

Winry narrowed her eyes. "An arrogant bastard?"

"Anyway. They act alike, look alike – but how? How the fuck did he swing that? I mean, I can't even figure out why. I'm no alchemist – dammit!"

"You're making no sense, Colonel Vincia."

"Aren't I? And just call me Envy. I'm tired of the damn title anyway."

"Envy's dead."

"Apparently not." He looked back at Ed, still tossing and turning – then it hit him like a bolt of lightning.

White.

Everything was white.

I am God.

I am the World.

I am the Universe.

I am Truth.

I am You.

Red.

Everything was red.

The ingredients to a Philosopher's Stone…

The main ingredients to a Philosopher's Stone are…

Are what? The answer was hidden behind a purple haze.

Red, red, everything red.

I can use my soul as a Philosopher's Stone to heal myself.

Souls and stones

Red, red, red.

The main ingredients to a Philosopher's Stone are human lives!

Envy sprang to his feet, every artificial muscle in his body coiled as tightly as possible. "It's the only explanation. He was a human sacrifice. And…and, and, and –" He couldn't get it out.

"If you're Envy, why would you care about Edward's grandchildren? I thought you hated him."

"Yeah, I thought so too," he said dryly. "Listen, this grandkid of yours – he's got something or other weird going on. He's inherited something more than looks and traits from Fullmetal – and I'm not convinced that Fullmetal himself isn't lurking somewhere in there."

"How cruel can you be?" demanded Winry, rising to her feet in a moment of youthful exuberance. "My husband is dead, Envy, and has been for eighteen years! Don't give me false hope."

"You're really starting to irritate me."

"The feeling is mutual, believe me!"

Envy pressed his hand against his chest. "Irritation or not, I think this kid is dying right now."

"But you just said –"

"I know what I said!" he snapped, then took a deep breath in a futile attempt to calm himself down. "Philosopher's Stones. The Gate. Somehow this is all tied in with – whatever this is. Ed – the first one – was a human sacrifice, used to open the Gate of the Earth and Sun."

Winry looked at him blankly. "What?"

"Never mind. In addition to that, he's also the son of a Philosopher's Stone in human form."

"A what?"

"…How long were you married to him again?"

"Look, I didn't listen to his alchemy stuff, okay? He couldn't use it after all of that stuff anyway, so it didn't matter!"

This was news to Envy. "What? Why?"

"I don't know…something about the toll. Um…" Winry tapped her finger against her chin. "It was a long time ago. But when he brought back Al's body, he gave up his ability to do alchemy."

Envy sat down. Hard. "He gave up his own Gate?"

"Yeah, that was it."

"That…makes things even confusing. How the hell would he have set this up if he couldn't do alchemy anymore?" Envy pulled at his hair. "Starting again. He was a human sacrifice. Son of a Philosopher's Stone. Gave up his Gate. Had a kid who had a kid who seems to be inheriting his memories…his memories…what did Father say about memories?"

Blue.

A blue sky, scoured and distressed with wisps of white.

Green.

Green grass.

Rizenbul.

He was waiting for…something.

An arm. A leg.

"It's no use," moaned Envy, cradling his head in his hands. "Father always used to go on and on about this stuff but I don't understand it at all."

"Why do you care about him?"

Envy peeked at Winry through his hands, unknowingly looking even more like the teenage boy whose form he usually took. "Me? Care about him? Why would I do something retarded like that?"

"You're here, aren't you?"

"Pff. I'm his commander. It's my job."

"Yes, I can tell how seriously you take your duties," she responded mockingly, looking pointedly at his feet. He looked down.

"Oh. I forgot shoes. Oops."

She shook her head with a slight chuckle. "How do you forget shoes?"

"I was in a rush, alright?" He crossed his arms with a scowl. "And I don't like him at all. He's bratty and loud and annoying."

"From what I've heard, you're not much better."

"That is a cruel and unjust lie!"

Finally she gave in and laughed out loud, wiping a tear from her eye. "God, I'm not surprised you two are always at each other's throats. You're a lot more…human than I expected you to be."

He blinked, then looked away in a huff. "Count yourself lucky you're meeting me now."

"I've heard enough of the stories. Although I suspect even those were whitewashed a bit for me. From what I can see, you've softened considerably."

"It's his fucking fault," he responded, jerking his head towards the sleeping boy. "Him and his father and his grandfather. I've turned into a soppy idiot."

"I see." Winry was smiling, and still holding Ed's hand, she got slowly to her feet, leaning on her cane. "I've decided I trust you, Envy."

"Wait, what? Are you nuts?"

"Maybe." Her eyes looked suspiciously shiny in the harsh hospital lights. "But I can't stay. He's my grandson…my wonderful, talented, grandson – but he's not my only one. I wouldn't leave unless I had someone I trusted here, you see. But…Al needs me too. And my automail…my shop…I'm not young anymore." She took a deep breath. "Keep him safe, alright?"

"I don't get it. Why do you trust me? If it's because I'm a Colonel, you've got another thing coming, lady."

"No, no. I just…do. And I trust my instincts." Winry gave Ed's hand one last squeeze, then released it. However, as she began to turn away, his limp hand came to life, reached forward and dragged her back. Ed's eyes were slightly open, gold shining through, and with a jerk, he pulled her head down to his, whispering into her ear.

Envy tried not to hear. He really did. But he had been constructed far better than any human, and the words wormed their way into his ears.

"Don't…be…afraid…"

Then the gold disappeared behind blue-veined lids.

Winry stood there for a moment, watching him, then left, her cane clicking against the ground.

Brown.

Brown hair.

Brown eyes.

A smile, a laugh, a clap of the hands…

Blue dress, white apron.

Trisha.

Trisha Elric.

"Looks like we're alone now," muttered the sin, pulling his legs up onto the chair and pressing his bare soles together. "She's not bad – for a human. Makes me wonder, though. She seems so…safe. Never expected you to settle down, let alone with someone that soft.

"You stopped adventuring. You stopped moving. You just…stopped. That was disappointing. And you had kid – you had four! Four bloody children getting in your way every time you took a step! That must have driven you to absolute distraction."

Envy pulled up another chair and lounged across both of them, setting his head down and letting his long hair spill over the edge, curling on the linoleum floor. "I did a little dance when you died the first time. Mind you, I wanted to do it. But you were dead – my biggest rival. I won. I won.

"So I think you see the problem here." He swivelled his feet around and stood, unable to keep still. He leant over Edward. He looked so fragile against the white, although he looked more at peace than he had.

"How did you fucking do it? You died, Edward Elric, and still, somehow, you won." He leant in further. God he was beautiful.

"It's not like I can't still kick your ass. Remember Lab 5?" Envy grinned mischievously. "Talk about memorable first meetings."

Memorable.

"Hey…" Envy's voice dropped to almost a whisper, faint and faltering. "If you're remembering things…if you're becoming, well…Fullmetal again…" He licked his lips and tried again. "Seeing you like this – unconscious – well…" He laughed nervously. "It's not like you'll ever remember."

Lab 5.

He'd had Edward slung over his shoulder, carrying him out of a falling building. Had put him down, only for a moment, to clear a few pieces of already-descended rubble out of the way.

Turned back to see how frail he looked unconscious.

Homunculi don't have emotions.

His lips had tasted like flowers. That wasn't a needless simile either – Envy'd once eaten an entire field of flowers out of curiosity. And Ed's lips had tasted like those flowers – the white daises, yellow daffodils, red roses and blue forget-me-nots. Especially the forget-me-nots.

"I'll know for sure if it's you," whispered Envy, "if you still taste like forget-me-nots."

He leant down and captured the sleeping Edward's lips in a soft kiss.

Blue.

Blue forget-me-nots.

He pulled away after a moment. "You taste the same." It was getting hard to talk. "You taste the same. It is you, you damn bastard."

He brought back his fist, and drove it towards Ed's face. "I will fucking end you!" he shrieked, trying not to realize that his vision was getting blurry –

"Hey, hey! The fuck you think you're doing, palm-tree?" Ed scowled at Envy, hand cupping the homunculus's fist in mid-air where he'd caught it. "Crying over me like a little kid."

"I – I'm not crying over you!"

He smirked. "Aw, and I thought I was special."

"I hate you!" Envy tried to punch him again, but Ed seemed to be functioning on an even better level than usual.

"Do you? Really?"

"Why are you – so – damn – fast?" Ed was blocking every attack that Envy threw at him.

"Just had sixty-seven years worth of memories downloaded into my head. I'm overclocking a bit."

"What does that even mean?" sneered Envy, letting his guard down just for a second – and suddenly, he was pinned against the wall, thin wrists encircled by Ed's hands.

"It means that I remember you, Envy, and what a sick little bastard you are." Ed cracked his neck ominously, but the playful look remained.

"Just your luck, huh, get reincarnated into your own grandson's body – who, oh, looks exactly like you!" Envy finally managed to push the blond away, tripping him up with a well-placed swipe of his leg.

"What, are you jealous?"

Envy snorted. "It's only my fucking name."

"Do you have any idea how painful it is to try reconciling two sets of memories and patch up the holes between them? Not to mention I got sent back to the Gate in the process!"

"Did it tell you why you got such a luverly second chance?"

"Apparently it's just sick of me and didn't want to send my soul through yet."

"Oh, how wonderfully convenient."

"You know, how about you stop being a whiny little BITCH?" Ed clapped his hands together and pressed them to the ground, and instantly Envy was surrounded by blue lightning – which faded away to reveal a cage.

"Oh brilliant. I'm your little songbird now, am I?"

"Jeez, when did you go this emo?"

Envy merely glared at him in silence. Ed reached through the bars and grabbed Envy's blue jacket, pulling the sin towards him.

"Was it when I figured out how you felt about me?" He brushed his thumb against the drying tears on Envy's face. "Or was it when I went into the hospital?"

"Are you trying to make a fool of me now, Fullm – Spark?"

Ed shook his head. "Quite the opposite. I need your help."

"My help? For what?"

Ed tapped the side of his head. "I'm eighteen years old, or I'm sixty-seven, or I'm eighty-six. Or some mix of all three. I don't understand what's going on, so I need your help to patch everything together."

"Why me?"

"Because," Ed grinned. "you were there for everything. You're the only one still alive who can help me."

Envy pondered for a moment, leaning his head against the stone pillars that Ed had created around him. "Let me get this straight. You're back from the dead –"

"Well, not really. I was always alive, but now I have the memories from my previous life. Which means a big boost in confidence."

"- and you're saying, you need me?" Envy was grinning despite himself. "Edward Elric, hero of the people, Fullmetal Alchemist, the man who saved Amestris…needs me?"

"Oh, sure, rub it in. And you know I hate that stuff. Always did." He chuckled. "And you wouldn't believe how much better that makes me feel – the part of me that's Spark, anyway."

Envy tested the stone bars, then taking a few steps back, delivered a solid kick to one of them, launching pieces of it across of the room. He stepped through, ducking his head. "So what are you thinking, then?"

"Leave Win and Al a note, then disappear for a bit."

"What about that?" asked the homunculus, indicating the watch that lay on the bedside table. Ed gave it a cursory glance.

"If they want me, let them come find me. But as far as I'm concerned, I should never have joined in the first place – let alone a second time."

Envy rapped on the window, then opened it up, feeling the late-morning air rush past him. "Alright, then. Out here's our best bet."

"Wait, not yet."

Envy turned back towards Ed with an incredulous expression. "What now? You wanna disappear, let's disappear already!"

Ed strode purposefully over to Envy and grabbed his shirt, pulling him down and planting his lips on the other man's in a decisive kiss. Once again, the taste of forget-me-nots flooded him, as well as a spark of something even more.

"Much better when I'm conscious, isn't it, creep?"

"Don't call me a creep!"

"I call it like I see it. Now let's get out of here."

Envy had one last question. "What, um…I…"

"Don't worry, there's plenty more where that came from." Ed elbowed Envy in the ribs. "Now come on, running away together is supposed to be way more dramatic than this."

Ed climbed onto the windowsill and looked down at the ground, a storey down. "Eh, I can jump that."

"You're an idiot."

"Please, I've done this before." He leapt, and with a sigh, Envy launched himself out of the window. Plummeting towards the ground, he grabbed the blond and landed on his feet, creating a crater of considerable size.

He dropped Ed on the ground. "You're a dumbass."

"Yeah, well, you're a showoff!"

"Arrogant brat."

"Demented palm-tree."

"Short."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO MINISCULE YOU'D NEED A MICROSCOPE TO SEE THEM?"

Envy chuckled, then picked up Ed with barely any effort. "Here's a tip from someone who's been around way longer than you, no matter how you count it. Virtually indestructible artificial human – probably a good thing to use."

"Ah, fuck you."

Envy bit back his response that he would like to do exactly that, then shifted so that Ed was riding on his back. "Besides, you were just in the hospital. I'll give you a ride."

"Oh please, I'm not ten."

"Hey, take what you can get, alright, pipsqueak?" Without waiting for a response from the blond, Envy began to run, wind whipping at his face as he gathered speed.

"Where we going, Ed?"

The eighteen-year-old leant slightly forward, breath tickling Envy's ear. "I know a place where the forget-me-nots grow, and there's no one around for miles."

"And where is this place?"

"Over the hills and far away."

Yes, it's only a canvas sky…hanging over a muslin tree…but it wouldn't be make-believe if you believed in me.

A/N: So yeah, my first Brotherhood-verse oneshot and admittedly, not my best. The idea was bugging me though, so I decided to write it.