Author's Unimportant Note: If you don't review, I'll shut down this story and kill a baby. I'm just joking about shutting down the fic, but a baby will die. Probably.

Warning: I curse a lot, and some British people might find this offensive.

It was nearing Halloween in the great town of Leverage, and celebration was in the air.

Celebration was pretty much Nate hanging a cheap ass paper ghost on the front door.

This was very displeasing to Parker, which she voiced every second Nate was in earshot.

"WHY CAN'T WE GO TRICK OR TREATING!" She whined.

Nate didn't look up, but responded anyway. "Because we're adults."

Eliot grunted. "Yep."

Hardison, eager to please his crush, piped up. "I think we should go trick or treating. It'll be fun!" He quickly glanced at an oblivious Parker, who was playing mindlessly with her fingernail.

"But Hahdisun." Sophie's stupid British accent rang through the room, much to the team's dismay. "What if somebody poisons the candy? What then?" Sophie started to spaz at the last statement, and Nate had to get her "special" vitamins, along with a paper bag.

Parker screamed with frustration, and Nate passed out from all the estrogen in the room.

Eliot grunted again. "We don't have costumes."

"Not yet, we don't!"

Nate squinted at the creepy store, but the stringy webs and plastic bats had no effect on the rest of the team. The glass store was covered with stickers, most of them of ghosts and bats and shit.

Parker squealed in happiness and stormed in, bumping into small children, touching all the candy.

A fake looking vampire walked towards them, stopping to stare at Sophie. "My, my. What a lovely piece of flesh. I can practically taste you're sweet blood."

Surprisingly, Sophie giggled, blushing like mad. "You're like Edward, right?" She was looking at the vampire with lust.

Nate stared for a moment. "I want that costume." He said, pointing at the vampire.

Meanwhile, Hardison and Eliot were in the back, along with Parker. "No mayne, I told you; I ain't bein' no ghost."

"C'mon Hardison!" Eliot yelled. "You're so fucking picky!"

"Wha-?" Hardison looked offended. "We just got here, and you demanded I be a ghost."

Eliot changed the subject. "Parker, which costume do you want?"

"None of them. I'm making my own."

This was a little scary, and Eliot thought he should probably say something to Nate, but quickly discarded the thought.

"OHMYGAWD THEY HAVE BEER HERE."

"No they don't, Nate. It's fake blood in a bottle." Sophie held up the bottle, it had a reddish tint to it. "Called 'Tru Blood.' Is that stupid or what?"

Nate frowned in disappointment, but decided to buy the bottle anyway. He took it out of her hand, but before he could hold it securely, Sophie barged past him.

"OH. MY. GOD." Sophie gasped. "I've wanted this for like, ever." She held up a pink princess costume with a cheap plastic wand and crown.

Nate looked at her oddly. "It's for children."

"SO." Sophie screamed. She turned to a dude in a pirate costume. "I want this."

"Sorry, we don't have it in ye size, m'lady." The pirate talked like a moron. "The biggest size is for twelve year olds, ye see."

He waved a plastic sword in Sophie's face, which angered her like a red piece of cloth does a bull.

She grabbed him by the shirt collar and screamed in his face, spraying spittle on his delicate makeup.

"I WANT IT! I WANT IT!" Sophie's stupid accent rang through this room, and Americans were angered at the British's idiocy.

"I'm sorry, but we don't have it in adult sizes, mate." The pirate stuttered. "Ye could try somewhere else, if ye fancy."

"SHUT UP. STOP TALKING LIKE YOU'RE A STUPID PIRATE. NOBODY BELIEVES THAT SHIT. I WANT IT NOW, AND YOU'RE GOING TO GIVE IT TO ME."

The pirate's complexion fell. "I-I'm sorry. I'm really just a shoe salesman named Paul. Really. This is part time. Please don't hurt me!" He tensed up, preparing for a blow.

Sophie dropped him, kicking him a couple times and spitting on him. She brushed off the pink costume, holding her head arrogantly as she walked away from him.

Nate was in the corner, trembling, as if Sophie was going to hurt him. He covered his face with his soon-to-be-bought vampire costume, not letting go.

"C'mon Nate, we have to go check on the rest of the team." Sophie screamed, angering the Americans' further.

When Sophie and Nate got to the back where most of the costumes were, Hardison had already been convinced to be a ghost. Eliot threatened to beat the shit out of him if he didn't.

He tried to be discreet about it, but everybody noticed Eliot hovering around a particular costume; Dorothy Gale from The Wizard of Oz.

It was surprising, yet not.

Nate hurried in the dressing room, claiming he wanted to make sure his "Edward" costume fit properly. After about twenty minutes, Sophie finally kicked the door down, finding Nate passed out from drunkeness.

"NATE. FUCKING WAKE UP." Sophie was kicking his limp body. "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO FUCKING DRIVE YOU ASSHOLE."

The team steadily made their way to the checkout center at the front of the store. Sophie delicately placed her princess costume on the counter, telling the clerk to be "extra careful."

"AHHH! I want it!" Parker pointed to a pen that looked like a blood filled syringe.

"Parker, it's not real. It's a pen." Hardison explained calmly.

"No. I don't believe you. You're lying."

"Why would I lie?"

"You want it for yourself; you don't want me to have it."

"Parker, there's about a dozen pens there." Hardison tapped his fingers on each one.

"But only one of them is real."

Meanwhile, Eliot was trying to discreetly slip his costume on the counter. He couldn't do it very well, because he was the one dragging Nate out by the ankles.

"WHAT are you doing?" A lady who looked about forty stared disapprovingly at Eliot. She glanced up and down at a passed out Nate, looking sympathetic. "What are you doing dragging this poor old man?"

Sophie shoved Eliot away to face the lady. "Okay, first off, he's not old. He's incredibly sexy. Second, he's not poor. He could have LOTS of money if he wants to. Third, we're not dragging him. He's going to go in a cart soon."

Sophie finished the sentence with punching the chick in the face.

"Are you sure it was okay to take the shopping cart home?" Asked Hardison nervously. He was pushing the cart up the stairs where Nate lived.

Parker was gnawing on one of those syringe pens, saying blood tasted "delicious."

Eliot was drawing dicks on Nate's face. Sophie wasn't appreciative.

"Blahhher, wha-?" Nate groggily raised his pretty head. His eyes widened, and soon he was acting like he was being attacked, which was sad, because jumping out of a cart while you're in the middle of a staircase isn't a very good idea.

Nate's spazzing body landed right on Sophie, who was at the bottom. She blushed, giving little attempts to push him away. "NATE! I don't like you THAT way."

Hardison giggled.

The next day Nate was busy scheduling everything. "Okay, October 31, a Sunday. Nine days from now."

"Who's going to hand out candy?"

"wat."

Parker got up. "I asked, who's going to hand out candy? We can't let the kiddies starve in your apartment building, Nate."

"wat." This time it was Sophie.

"Does it matter?" Eliot grunted.

Nate silenced him. "I'll-" He stopped, adding suspense.

"I'll call Sterling."