A/N: Hello? So this is my second lolena fanfic. this is a oneshot. my first one is entitled Love Conquers All. If you have time, please read it. :)) If you don't like the ship, then don't read. I would also like to apologize if there's some errors and wrong grammars. English is not my first language so...
Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own anything but I do wish that I own Logan Lerman.
This is not REAL.
"You're Still Here in My Heart"
"And I'll never be quite the same as I was before this,
I'll wake up from this bad dream I'm dreamin'
I'll realize that I'm so tired of feelin' confused
But for now there's a reason that you're still here in my heart"
((()))
It happened exactly 3 months ago before Selena and Justin started dating. She was with the guy she's been crushing since she saw the film Percy Jackson and the Olympian Thief-the one who played the main role Percy. She thought that he will be one of the most successful and well-known actor of this time, and she's right. He became one of the hottest and most popular young actor right now. With his gorgeous blue eyes and god-like features, she was sure that the girls will be swooning over him.
"Are you alright?" Logan asked gazing her from the driver sit.
"Why wouldn't I be?" Selena replied with a smile. She thought that the world stopped revolving as soon as the guy smiled back. She's alright alright. She never felt this happy before in her entire existence. She feels so lucky for sitting in the passenger seat of Logan Lerman's car.
She always imagine of what this moment will feel like, but the feeling she's having right now is so much better of what she' was expecting.
It's not the feeling where a fan meets her celebrity crush and screamed and yelped in excitement, the feeling where you thought your heart can't stop beating faster and faster every second. She's not feeling any of those.
She's feeling an entire moment of joy and happiness, a feeling of contentment. Finally for a long time her mind is at peace.
((()))
Selena rushed into the car as the paparazzi swoon around her. She understand that they are just doing this for their jobs, but she can't get herself to like them, they're just so annoying.
She never actually hates them, she just doesn't like the fact that they are practically always around her. She put on her seat belt and beep the horn of her car. She waits patiently for them to move aside then she immediately drove off rolling her eyes thinking that she's dead from her manager.
((()))
"You're late." Selena's Mom- and also her manager greet her with an annoyed and mad look.
"I'm sorry." She said faking a smile and gave her mother a quick kiss and a hug.
"Sorry? Just sorry? There's nothing: I'm sorry Mom, there's a traffic out there or I fell asleep in the car or your other lame excuses? not even an explanation why you're an hour late? You did not even answered my calls!"
Selena frowned. She doesn't want to talk about it right now. Why can't her mom just accept the apologize and move on?
she let out a loud sigh and said, "I stopped by at the pet store to buy food for Baylor then I lost my phone, I didn't brought a watch mom, I lost tracked of time." She lied.
"You lost your phone?" Her mom whispered in a yell. She's going to explode Selena thought.
Her mom closed her eyes trying to calm herself. After what it seems like a millenia, her mom gave out a loud sigh and looked at her with a tiring eyes, "We'll talk about this later. For now, just go inside and we will talk about your upcoming projects this year."
Selena didn't wait for another word and get inside the building.
((()))
Logan looked at the iPhone on his hand. This is not his. He can still remember everything about yesterday ...
Logan Lerman is walking trough the hot street of LA wearing his sunglasses when he bumped into a familliar figure. The girl had fallen to the ground and her stuffs are scattered around. She frowned.
She looked up to scowl at the guy who bumped her, but then realizing who the guy is, she ignored him and just gathered her stuffs.
"Selena, I'm so sorry. I haven't-." Logan said feeling guilty. "Here let me help you." He then help her stand up but she brushed his hand away immediately.
"I can stand up by myself." She replied with a harsh tone. Logan ignored the tone and helped her with her things. His lips formed into a smile when he saw the book he gave to her -The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chobsky-.
"You still have this?" He asked and gave her the book. Selena grabbed it immediately and shrugged.
"Obviously." She muttered and rolled her eyes then help herself to stand up. As soon as Logan's gaze falls into her, he immediately regrets it. She looks gorgeous and beautiful as the sun kissed her flawless skin perfectly. Her lips looks like cherries and He stopped the urge to touch her and pull her into a kiss.
"You finished reading it?" Logan asked nodding at the book, trying to distract himself from staring at her more.
Selena gave him a nod, "Yes." She answered.
"It's a great book. Isn't it?" Logan said wanting to punch himself. 'Of course she knows that, stupid.' He said to himself. 'Say something else.'
"Yeah. It is." Selena replied and gave him a slight smile. Selena look at him in the eyes and he stared back at her. They both held each others gaze until she look away. "I have to go." She said.
"Already? That's so soon. I was wondering if you would like to grab a coffee or something." Logan said casually but inside he's pleading like 5-year-old. 'Pease dont go. Not yet. Please.'
Selena looked at Logan surprised at what he said. after 3 seconds she sighed and look at her phone to check the time. "I have 30 minutes. Let's go?"
Selena didn't wait for Logan to answer. She immediately grab Logan's hand. they started walking to the nearest coffee shop, not noticing they're holding hands.
((()))
"You're in a hurry?" Logan asked at her. He noticed that Selena's been looking at her phone every now and then.
"Yeah. I have a meeting in less than an hour." Selena replied and take a look at her phone once more.
Logan took a sip at his coffee not leaving his eyes on Selena. "I thought you have 30 minutes? We just spend 10 minutes of it." He said.
"Yeah I know. It's just that Mom will be mad at me if I'm late." Selena replied and look at her phone once more.
Logan had enough at this. He took Selena's phone and hid it away from her.
"Hey! that's my phone! There's a crime against stealing Lerman. You know I can get you arrested for this" She frowned and tried to get her phone back.
"Well you're driving me insane Selena Gomez." Logan said not realizing what he just told her.
Selena looked at him surprised.
"You keep looking at your phone every now and then, and you still haven't touched your coffee. You know I invited you to have coffee with me, not to keep track of the time." He added and shook his head smirking.
Selena sighed after hearing what he said, "I'm sorry okay? It's just that I really don't want to be late again." She muttered.
"Late again? I'm sorry Ms Gomez, but I never saw you being late before. Hell you're always early." Logan said thinking about their dates and meeting before.
"Always? Early? I think you're exaggarating Lerman." Selena replied raising an eyebrow.
"Actually I'm not. Everytime Selena. Like in-" He was about to say the times when they were having their dates but he doesn't want to risk making the air awkward so instead he said,." Like in your presscom in Japan." He pointed his finger to her with a huge smile.
Selena smiled and let out a soft laugh thinking about it, "Yeah Yeah, Well I thought someone will be there before ne. It's a presscom." She gave a big smile thinking about it, but her smile falls slowly when she said, "Well it's different now, I guess," She paused and look at the coffee then continued " I think I just changed." She smiled a litte sad smile.
Logan looks at her, thought that selena is right for one part that it's different now, but she's definitely wrong for the second part. "You still haven't change Sel." Logan said looking deep into her brown eyes. He realized that he calls her Sel once again. Well it's been long since he had called her that, and he realized that he miss it. he fucking miss calling her 'Sel'
"Hey! there they are!" A guy screamed and point at them, then it was not that long when people started taking pictures of them. Selena looked at them annoyed.
"Shit. I should go." She said picking her bag. Before he had the chance to stop her, Selena was on her foot and was about to walk away now.
"It's nice to see you again Logan. See you around." Selena said and smiled at him before turning her back and walked away.
Logan is smiling widely thinking about yesterday. I should give this to her now. He said to himself. Grinning he went to grab his car keys and went for a drive.
((()))
It was late at night, Selena Gomez is tucked underneath her bedsheets watching inception in her room. She's on the part where Adrianne asked Domm, "Are We Dreaming?" Selena smiled at that, Am I dreaming? She asked herself.
Selena keep her eyes on the television watching Leonardo DiCaprio, imagining the feeling of working with him. "That will be epic. Totally epic." She said.
The doorbell rings and she heard it. She grabbed the remote beside her and put the tv on pause. Then she went to the door and answered it.
She was surprised when she saw Logan Lerman standing on her porch. His hands on his jeans pocket. His hair in messy style. His eyes darting everywhere like he is nervous or something. He's biting his lips. And he's standing uncomfortably.
"Hey." She greets. She tried to stop the urge to stare at him, but she can't. Under the moonlight, Logan Lerman looks like a god or an angel sent from heaven. She can't help noticing the perfection of this young boy. Though he looks stupid for someone's eyes to see.
She blinked her eyes and said, "What are you doing here?"
Logan looked at her like she's a princess or a queen, He can't help noticing how beautiful she is with her hair just down and without her makeup on wearing a cute baby blue Pjs. He was taken back by his thoughts when Selena asked her again, "What are you doing here Lerman?"
"Uhmm" He said nervously. He was here a long time ago, and he just can't help feeling nervous around her right now especially that fact that she's wearing her Pjs and she really looks cute.
"I am.." He said looking around thinking about something to say.
Selena looked at him raising her eyebrow. "You are-?" She stopped herself from smiling. She loved what she's seeing right now. Logan Lerman looks nervous, in front of her. She bit her lip trying not to smile.
"Uhm." Logan swallowed. He watch Selena bitting her lips. Shit. He thought.
"I was just in the neighborhood." he finally said with a relief. Knowing that's a lie, he was a block away from her apartment for more than 2 hours chickening out, if he will go knock at her door and give her her phone. Why is he chickening out? Well one because it's night time - okay that's a lame excuse. Fine, it's just .. It's night time and whenever he went to selena's place at night time. Well... Things get pretty hot. Or ... It's a long time ago and he just couldn't shrugged the feeling out of his system.
Give the guy a credit, they had been together and just broke up. Bout months ago but that doesn't matter. He's still not over her. Though he's the one who ended their relationship. He still loves her. He just wouldn't accept that.
Selena gave a slight nod. "O-kay?" She said rasing an eyebrow.
"Yeaah." Logan said and look around nervously. "Uhmm, So .." Why is it hot in here? He fight the urge to say it out loud.
"Soo?" Selena said smiling. This is better than watching inception she thought.
"Uhm." Logan swallowed. "I was just in the neighborhood and stopped by to give your phone back." He finally said rolling his eyes at himself.
Selena smiled at him. "Oh, alright, so where is it?"
"Here." Logan grabbed the iPhone in his pocket and gave her. "I'm sorry. I forgot to return it yesterday." Selena took it from his hand, She felt a weird spark when their skin touched, she immediately pulled away.
"Yeah, thanks." She said noticing that there's something flying in her stomach, butterflies? 'Oh shit not again.'
"Yeah, I should probably go." He said wanting to get the hell out of place. He just embarrased herself in front of his ex girlfriend. Can't he just go hide himself?
Selena gave him a slight nod fighting herself to stop him. She watched him vanished into the dark night. When she couldn't see him anymore she went inside her apartment remembering the moment when Logan walked away from her.
"I'm sorry Selena but I just can't do this anymore." He said looking away.
"What do you mean?"Selena asked confused.
"I think we should stop seeing each other." He finally said and sighed.
Selena was taken back. "Stop seeing each other? Why?" She asked him feeling the ache in her heart right now. Her eyes staring to fill with tears.
Logan looked away and rolled his eyes. "I don't know Selena. Why don't you tell me?"
Selena just stared at the darkness that surrounds them feeling the tears that rolls into her cheeks.
She couldn't understand what Logan is saying. She couldn't understand why he's breaking up with her after all the moments they had with each other. "What are you talkin about Logan?"she asked forcing herself to look at him.
"This Selena. This is not working out." He said and looked back at her. "I'm sorry Selena but I'm just tired hiding." He said.
Selena thought that she saw something in his eyes, the sign when he's lying but logan continued, " Our relationship is not working."
"But I thought you want to be with me." Selena said crying.
"I do." Logan said. "I did." He added.
"But we can make this work Logan. We can. We ca-."
"Can you hear yourself?" Logan cut her off knowing that she will just make this harder. Logan closed his eyes calming himself and let out a loud sigh. She looked at her. "Selena this is not working and it will not work." He said with a harsh tone.
Selena has enough of this. She felt stupid and embarassed for pleading him. 'He's just a guy.' Selena said to herself, but she knows that's a lie. He's not just a guy. He's the guy, the guy who told her sweet and honest things, the guy who makes her happy than anyone else, the guy who understands and accept the worst of her, the guy who helped her see the beauty in life, the guy who taught her the true meaning of love. He's the guy she's in love with and he's also the guy who's breaking her heart.
"Fine." She said trying to be strong.
Logan was about to say something to her but she cut him off, "Just go Logan. Just go." She said and regretting it as soon as he saw her leave. She can't help not to look away. She waits until his body vanished into the darkness. Then she cried herself out.
((()))
Selena woke up with a headache. She cried herself to sleep last night. She tried not to, but the pain of her last break up is still alive inside her mind and heart.
She can still remember every moments she and Logan had. the day they met, the first time Logan asked her out, their first date, their first kiss in the rain, the sneeking with their manager just to see each other, all of the sweet memories Selena's cherishing.
she's tired of feelin' confused. feeling confused about herself and her feelings toward the guy who broke her heart. She can't bring herself to forget, somehow she can't stop remembering. Logan is still the one occupying her heart. for now, there's a reason that he's still here in her heart. the one she's in love. And maybe it will stay like that for a long time. For a really long time. ;)
A/N: and there you go. reviews and comments are very much appreciated. :))