A/N: By request, I've made this into a multi-chaptered story. This is a continuation from my one-shot, "I Made You a Promise", so if you haven't read that yet, go read it and then come back here! This story takes place roughly four weeks after the women are rescued from Yamatai. This story is going to look at Lara and Sam trying to find out the secrets behind Lara's father's true career, and how her parents disappeared. It's going to be a lot darker and more violent than the game's original rating, so that's why I'm setting it for mature audiences. The first few chapters will be focused heavily on their joint recovery (both mentally and physically) before it kicks into the drama/action/suspense. I am so thankful for all of you that left such lovely reviews on that piece I wrote yesterday. Holy cow! You're awesome, all of you. I hope you guys like this story. I have had so much fun writing it so far :)
Osaka, Japan
Warm sunlight filters through the shut blinds of the window in the small, private space. The room is quiet and unmoving but still somehow manages to be loud and dynamic with tortured memories. The past few days and nights have been nothing short of restless; both of you caught between feverish dreams and nightmares terrifying enough to leave deep scores in both of your sanities. Therapists and psychiatrists have come and gone, but no one can alleviate the sicknesses brewing in your minds. The morning sun doesn't make you feel comforted, however. Nothing can ease the tension that knots your muscles together. Your head tilts up first, your dark hair (now shaggy and long as you had refused to cut it) gently falling to cover the left side of your face. Your eyes squint through the musky light. You let a soft grumble break your lips as you look to the taller, broader woman laying unconscious on the bed beside you.
You glance down to Lara's hand, lightly clutching your slightly cooler skin. At the slightest squeeze, you feel Lara stir gently, a quiet moan parting her chapped lips. The sound is equivalent to nails raking down a chalkboard. It causes you to recoil, but before you can leap off the small hospital bed, Lara's hand grips yours lightly. You sigh lowly and hang your head, pressing a soft kiss to your friend's bandaged forehead, internally thanking whatever God out there that she'd managed to get better. Lara moans again, but this time it's strained with agony.
"Ssh," you murmur soothingly, kissing Lara's temple, "ssh, Lara. You're okay, baby."
"S-Sam," your name is scratchy and raw as it makes its way past Lara's trembling lips. You don't need to ask to know what she needs. You give her a loving nod and another peck to her cheek.
Slipping off the bed and ignoring the ache in your back from the constant, uncomfortable sleep you've been having for the past few weeks, you clamber over to the desk and reach for the water glass, bending the straw inside so that it can reach Lara's chapped mouth. You watch worriedly as she struggles to gulp down a few swallows. She's so eager that a few droplets of water dribble down past her chin and she coughs. You wipe the moisture away with the soft brush of your thumb as you remove the straw for a moment. Lara whines out tenderly, her throat still raw and in need of liquid relief. You bring the straw back again, watching her carefully.
"Slowly, sweetheart," you coo as Lara drinks too fast, causing her to choke. Your breath quivers as she wheezes. You stroke her shoulder until she can breathe normally again. Putting the glass back, you walk over to the windows and open the curtains a fraction. The light nearly blinds you, and immediately, thoughts of your adventure (and near-deaths) fill the void in your mind.
Fear slashes through your body like a lightening bolt, and for a moment you're back at Yamatai. You feel a shiver run down your spine as you hear her voice in your ear, calling to you. You feel her cold fingers wrapping around your throat, constricting the air from your weary lungs. She sucks the life out of you and fills your being with her own tainted form. You can hear the storms in the back of your mind, violent and unforgiving. Something in the pit of your gut swims and churns with anxiety as you fight the urge to cry or shout or run. You tense and clutch the handle of the curtain with a tighter grip, willing the panic to go away. You need it to go away. You suck air between gritted teeth as your skin tingles with trepidation. Your eyes don't - can't - close, because you knows what you'll see if you give into the retched temptation. You are nauseas and unsteady on your feet as you push the panic away.
Dammit, you plead with yourself in a near cry, when will it go away? As much as you want to say that things get better with time, you know that this is an exception. This, these painful memories, this loss and grief, they won't ever go away. You just wonder if it will bring you down, reduce you to nothing but brittle bones and aching muscles. You can't afford to find out. You shake your head and will yourself to stop draining your energy in the past. Gaining your footing, you grip the handle of the curtain tighter. It serves as the sturdy mast holding your ship together as you whether the storm brewing inside your damaged soul. Instead of closing your eyelids, you glue your stare to the linoleum of the floor, counting backwards from ten as your mother had once taught you.
"Sam?" Lara croaks from her bedside, drawing you away from your thoughts.
You knows she's just a steps from your quivering body, but her voice sounds so distant, so broken. Yamatai has changed the both of you, and as much as you want to dance around the subject, you know that you won't ever be that fraternizing college girl, nor will she ever be the innocent archaeologist. The realization came a fortnight ago, when you awoke to Lara thrashing and screaming in her sleep. You held her body to yours, ignoring her frail limbs as they attempted to swat you away. You stayed by her and murmured sweet nothings into her ears, trying to bring her out of her nightmare. The terrors come almost every second night, and it's so bad that you wonder if Lara ever sleeps. You're also plagued by that crippling fear, the feeling of Himiko reaching down and grasping at the very essence of your soul and choking it. You see Mathias and Nikolai and all those other bastard men in any able-bodied male, bare for Jonah.
You faintly shake your head and take a deep breath. You promised Lara that you'd be there for her. Lara long carried the physical end of injuries on that cursed island, and you owe it to her to carry the emotional ones. Her burdens become yours as you find strength in her presence. You pack up all your insecurities and doubts as you release your grip on the wooden handle. Licking over your chapped lips, you wipe your brow and loosen the tense knots in your shoulders. You slowly pivot on your foot and face your best friend with a feigned smile.
"Morning, love," you say as affectionately as you can, walking up to Lara with light steps. Your sneakers that Reyes had brought on her last visit scuff against the ground. The sound is domestic, and you allow yourself the joy of letting it remind you of simpler things, simpler times, simpler places; places you'll never see again, people you'll never speak to, things you'll come to find impossible to understand. When you make contact with her, it's hard to not break apart.
You're both so different now, aged beyond your years, wracked by trauma and loss.
You've become time bombs, ticking away until you explode.
You don't want to know who's time runs out first.
Lara's eyes are puffy from the bruises and inflammation and you can see that it's paining her to just breathe. Her entire body is practically covered in white or beige bandages. Some of her lighter cuts that no longer require coverings are scabbing over. There's not one piece of her that has remained untouched by Mathias' unforgivable wrath. You feel rage seep into your bones for a moment. As you look at her, her eyes glazed but staring, you want to go back to that man and shred him into pieces. You want to burn his body and that retched island to the ground, to stick his head on a pike, to bring him back to life only to slaughter him lawlessly for having brought such pain and death upon your best friend and your family. You are so angry at him, at her, at the world, for tearing you both apart.
You are just so angry.
Lara becomes aware that you're creeping into your dark place. Lara's high off painkillers most the time (to which she protests daily by saying she doesn't need them, but you both know she desperately does), but she's not stupid. She saved you through figuring out puzzles and riddles, after all. She knows that in your shattered mind, you're just as unhinged as she is. Sometimes you wonder if Himiko's spirit is still trapped inside you, waiting to feed on your lifeblood until she bleeds you dry. You shiver at the thought. You can't go there right now. Lara needs you, you remind yourself, just hold it together for a moment, Sam. You suck in a sharp breath and nod at your friend, meeting her eyes with a gentle smile. Lara doesn't look convinced but she's too weak to fight you. Her fever has broken and her body is slowly repairing itself, but the process has been arduous and agonizingly painful. You feel for her, you really do. It hurts you that all you can do is sit and watch as she fights through the remoulding of her flesh and bones.
Before either of you can say anything else, the door opens and in walks the nurse with her tray of concoctions and bandages. Lara groans again, this time in irritation. A scowl is painted across her face as she shoots daggers at the unsympathetic nurse. You fight the urge to roll your eyes at her childish behaviour as Lara shuts her eyes dramatically before turning her face away. You try to send her a glare, but Lara's not paying you any attention. Sucking a lip between your teeth, you huff out a muted scorn and instead turn to the nurse, greeting her kindly in Japanese. You both converse for a few moments, speaking about basic things - Lara's recovery, the coverage of the rescue, the date for her release. The nurse is kind enough to let you know that Lara will be good to go in a week's time at the most, though she will still need assistance and care, which of course you will provide; the tone of her voice suggests to you that she understands just how restless Lara has become during her stay.
You don't have to remind me, you think as the nurse looks over to Lara with a sigh. Lara's just as petulant as she was when she was a child. Once a Croft, always a Croft, you scoff internally.
After dosing her up with the regular cocktail of morphine, antibiotics, and nutrients through her IV, drawing a blood sample, and changing the major bandage upon her torso, the nurse promptly leaves you both alone again. You walk over to the overnight bag at the far end of the room, scrummaging inside for your cell phone. You fish it out and send a quick text to Jonah to let him know of the news. He replies curtly, letting you know that he'll be up soon with some food and another overnight bag for you. He's stopped trying to convince you to take a break from being in the hospital. Everyone knows that you're not budging. You sigh warmly with gratitude as you pocket your cellphone before returning to Lara, who is staring at the wall, avoiding your eye contact.
Great, you think, now she's going to throw a tantrum.
You go to scold her, but then you catch the glazing of her eyes again. Your lungs concave as you see that she's fighting back tears. You stiffen for a moment, clenching your jaw to ward off your own demons so you can help protect her from her own. You muster up the strength and patience you need as you calmly step towards her. Lara is still, her breathing quickening by a slight pace. Everything in your body wants to jump into that bed and cuddle the shit out of her, but that won't help Lara. You know Lara has always been difficult, and this is just another massive challenge.
"Lara," you start in a soft tone, not wanting to alarm your friend. Lara doesn't move, but her breath hitches again. You shift on your feet, trying to figure out the best approach to reach her. She's not lost in her memories yet, but you can tell that she's on the borderline. You stop and reassess your options, calculating the consequences and outcomes of every move. You're an avid chess player and mathematician, amongst your film career. It was the only subject you ever really cared for. Lara taught you how to write a proper paper and in turn, you taught her probability and trigonometry. You rummage through the numbers until you find a suitable tactic.
"Lara, I know you hate it here," you force the words out of your mouth as you inch closer to the small inclined mattress. You see Lara's body stiffen and you pause. Okay, you think as you recalculate, off the bed it is, then. You sit in the chair again, ignoring the dull ache at the small of your back. You stare at the bandage wrapped around her shoulder for a moment before you continue.
"You… you've just got to let them help you, okay?" You plead with her, but Lara is stubborn. Lara has always been stubborn. You hang your head and let out an exasperated groan.
"Lara…," you trail off, trying to keep the frustration out of your voice. Lara doesn't look over, but purses her lips as your breath hitches. You watch her fingers grip at the sheet, tangling them between her digits as she curls her hand into a tight fist. For a moment, you think you can see the fire of rage glowing over her pale skin as she trembles in frustration.
"I… I need to find out what happened to them," Lara rasps hotly under her breath. Your head jerks up as you look over at your friend with a glowering scowl. This is not the time for another life-threatening 'adventure', Lara, you think as tears burn at your irises, not after I nearly lost you, dammit! You want to say the words but they can't come out because now Lara's looking at you, her gaze void of any emotion.
"I'd spent all those years hating him, Sam," Lara chokes out between gasping breaths. You fight the urge to reach for her and instead focus on repeating to yourself that Lara needs space. Lara closes her eyes as panic takes her, coiling around her spine and neck like a snake. You can almost see her body being crushed with the force of the attack, and it rips you to shreds. Still, you coerce yourself into remaining stoic and silent, allowing Lara to draw whatever tranquility she can from your neutral form. Her eyes suck the life out of you, but soon enough, she's fought through it.
"You know I don't want to go," she murmurs silently, dropping her head into her chest as her tone changes from frustrated to feeble and weak. She wants to convince you and herself that's a lie, but you can spot her bullshit from miles away. Lara always was a terrible liar. You watch in silence as she takes a breath and looks up at you sheepishly, almost like a child when caught in the act of committing a mistake.
"But I have to, Sam," she concludes, closing her eyes. "I can't fight it anymore. I have to find out what happened to them. I… I need answers, Sam." Her words prick at you as you process everything. Calculating your options again takes more than a brief second, but it's enough time for you to know what you need to say. Lara waits patiently, sniffling as she glances up at you apprehensively.
"Lara," you whisper as you rise from your seat slowly. She waits some more, and from the look in her shimmering citrine eyes - fear laced by defensiveness - you know that she's expecting you to reject her. You're Samantha Nishimura, and everyone, especially Lara, knows you're far from predictable.
"I love you," you tell her, because you both need to hear it. Lara gasps at the words as you lean part of your weight over her. You're careful of her bandages and of the machines as you curl up into her side. She's got half a head over you, broader shoulders, and defined muscles. Her body isn't like any of the guys or girls you've previously dated. You spend a moment just looking at her, absorbing her beauty. You skirt your fingers up her bare arm, causing her to shiver. Her eyes close loosely as you bite your lip, feeling the tears well in your eyes. You hate seeing her like this, and despite your nagging fear, you know that no matter what it takes, you'd be willing to let her do it if it gave her peace.
"You were dead, Lara," you tell her quietly, even though she already knows. Lara stays silent, but she's listening, always listening. You swallow back your own fear and think about your next move. You don't look at her as you urge yourself to continue.
"After all that happened on the island," you begin to stumble on your words. Keep it together, Sam, you think to yourself, you need Lara to know how you really feel. You shake your head and force your way through the painful memories of the past few weeks.
"After losing, Alex, Grim, Roth," you list their names slowly, gauging Lara's reaction as you go. She remains stoic, but when you get through all three names, especially Roth's, you see her flinch for a moment. You fumble with her bedsheets with your spare hand as you say, "after seeing them die, Lara, after watching you die, I… I can't do that again, Lara. Not when I love you the amount I do."
"Sam," she tries to cut you off, but you glare at her, your eyes steaming with tears.
"No, Lara," you hiss through gritted teeth, "you made me a promise, dammit."
"And I kept it," Lara says, slightly confused and somewhat agitated.
"No," you argue against her roughly. At some point, you're asking yourself what's the point of all this. Each time you want to convince yourself that there is no point in fighting against these painful struggles, you see her, feel her, hear her, and you're thrust back into the reason why you keep fighting. You stare at her with confidence, even though you're still shaking slightly from her proximity to you.
"No," you repeat in a softer voice, "you haven't, Lara. We're not home yet. We're… I don't know what we are. After you saved me… you… that kiss," you stumble on the word and avoid her gaze. Lara flinches. You've struck a sore nerve. You shake your head and continue.
"We can't keep avoiding this, Lara," you say to her in a quiet plea, "we need… I need, I… just…, fuck, Lara. You mean so much to me and I love you with every vessel of blood in my body, but somedays I look at you and I can't help but feel scared that you don't reciprocate. It makes me wonder if I've just been as stupid and naive as everyone thinks I am all along."
You promised yourself you wouldn't let her see you like this until she was strong enough, but you're desperate. Lara takes one look at you and her body suddenly tenses, her breath quivering. Your eyes dart to her lips for a moment as you reach an impasse in your plan to get through to her. You feel her breath lightly pattering against the tip of your nose and you're lost in the sensation. You're so close, but she feels so far away. You look back to her eyes and then dip your head in defeat. You've run out of rope and you're falling short, unable to cling on any longer.
As always, Lara swoops in to save the day.
"Hey," her voice is a gentle hum. You feel her arms around tighten around you, and you immediately fold in her embrace. Damn you for being so quick to melt in her grasp. Damn you for falling for her. You can't hold back anymore as you take to sobbing against her chest.
"I fucking love you, Lara," you cry as you flatten your palms over her delicately crafted collarbones. Lara's murmuring sweet nothings in your ear as one of her hands softly rubs over the small of your back, soothing you. Idiot, you scorn to yourself, you were supposed to be comforting her, not the other way around. But you're Sam. Unpredictable Sam.
You're always unpredictable, even to yourself.
"I meant every letter, Sam," Lara whispers gently, placing a soft kiss to your temple. Her lips are shaking slightly, but her voice is calm and steady. You press closer to her, closing your eyes. Himiko and Mathias are there again, causing you to jerk your eyes back open again. A shuddering breath releases from your parted lips and Lara grips you tighter.
Lara's other hand reaches for your chin and tilts your face upwards so that you're both at eye level. You stare into those glistening hazel orbs, searching for something to reassure you. You see her love for you shining through and you scold yourself for ever doubting her. Lara's thumb brushes over the line of your jaw as she leans in closer. Your lips are micrometers apart. You're just far apart that you're not touching her, but you are close enough to feel her everywhere.
"My love for you preceded Yamatai, Sam," Lara mumbles, looking to your lips.
You freeze.
She hasn't admitted this to you before. Lara ignores your surprise and nods, allowing your lips to brush ever so lightly. Electricity fires up and down your veins and for a moment, you wonder if Himiko is inside of you again. The hand curled around your back squeezes and you're grateful that Lara reads you as well as she does. You remain silent as Lara clears her throat. She's nervous. Any other day, you'd laugh and say, Lara Croft? Nervous? I guess pigs fly after all. But, she is anxious and it's so endearing it makes your heart swell in a way it's never done before. You feel her fingers trembling as she traces the soft lines of the freckled scars upon your skin.
"I never had boyfriends, Sam," she whispers, even though it's only the two of you in the room. "I've never really been interested in them in general, actually." She laughs at that, a nervous chuckle. You realize you've never heard a sweeter sound in your entire life. She shakes her head, causing your noses to brush in a gentle but accidental eskimo-kiss. Your fingers tangle in the long locks of chestnut brown hair that spill over her shoulders. You're careful to avoid the places that they had to stitch up as you weave your way to clutch the back of her head lightly.
"I… I'd just see you day after day," Lara speaks again, some confidence renewed to her voice as she looks down into you. The gaze she locks you in is dizzying enough to make your stomach swim with butterflies desperate for release. You can't speak as she purses her lips slowly.
"It didn't matter to me that I wasn't with anyone, Sam. All that mattered was you. All that ever matters to me is you, and when they took you…," she pauses as her chest contracts with the flashback. She steadies herself as she struggles to say in a hushed rasp, "It didn't matter to me what I had to do, Sam. I'd go back and do it again if I had to. I'd never be able to leave you, sweetheart. You're the light in my life. You're the only reminder I have that better things do exist. You're my hope, my motivation, my muse. I love you, darling. Always, I'll love you, Sam. I'll always come for you. I'll always protect you, my love. You're all I have left."
You know romance isn't her forte but as you listen to her speak, you're sobbing from happiness and endearment. Lara's trying so hard not to cry, too, but at the sight of you weeping, she grows weaker. You can see her eyes glistening as she bites her lip, her chin lightly stroking your lips as she does so. You can't help but plant a gentle, encouraging kiss upon the scar that rests there. You want to kiss all of her scars until she's convinced that they've been cleansed of her body. Even then, you will trace them with deft fingers or soft lips; you want to remind her of all the strength she embodies, of what she means to you, because you know your words have never done, and will never do the justice. What she is, what she represents, transcends any form of communication.
"Then let me protect you, Lara," you whisper gently. Lara looks hesitant, but then she nods.
And so you do what you've been wanting to do for three weeks; you kiss her.
Lara lets you take control, acquiescing to your request. She parts her mouth for you, giving you the lead as you slip your tongue into her warm mouth. Your tongue dances the tango with hers, pushing and pulling, dipping and rising to the beat of your hearts. You allow yourself the faintest of smirks because for once, you're the one with more experience. You put it in the back of your mind to tease her about it later, when all of the pain and sorrow has simmered down. Lara goes along to your every move, relaxing into your touch as you deepen the kiss.
"I love you, Lara," you breathe into her mouth between a gentle kiss. You look up to see Lara's eyes closed. Tears are dripping down her cheeks and you quickly lean up to kiss them away.
You feel shaky and nervous all of the sudden, and you don't know why until you hear her whimper that she loves you too. You've had dozens of flings and a couple of semi-decent relationships, but you've never been in love before. Not up until now. You're so in love now, and no matter how hard you try to tear yourself away from her, she's all you can feel. She's a part of you that no one can replace. She's your soul mate, but she's also your best friend.
She's everything to you, and you won't ever let her go.
You kiss Lara again because you're just so addicted to the way she tastes in your mouth, or how her lips meld so perfectly to yours. Maybe it's also in part to the sounds she makes, those goose bump-inducing gasps, or the vulnerability she shows you and no one else. Your bodies aren't the same size, but you fit together like the last pieces to a puzzle. It's perfect symmetry and you love every inch of it. You kiss her deeper at this realization, feeling free for the first time in forever.
Lara pulls you closer, her brows furrowed tightly as she refuses anymore tears to fall from her puffy eyes. She makes this strangled noise from the back of her throat as you break your kisses for soft pecks instead. You slowly duck your head past her jaw and into the supple skin of her neck. You nuzzle those faint bruises, pecking a few of the lighter ones with soft kisses. Lara lets loose another strained cry, but you hear need and love in the sound that's emitted from her lips. Her arm winds you closer into her, as if to swallow you up in her grasp.
"Oh Sam," Lara cries out, her nose smashing into your hair as she draws a shuddering breath.
Her voice sends a jolt of electricity to your core. You close your eyes and block out Himiko and Mathias. You focus on Lara as your one of your hands detaches from the back of her scalp to run down the front of her chest. You flatten your shaking palm against her collarbones. Your thumbs trace the bruises and scars tentatively, reassuring her and yourself that you're safe now. Your kisses move up her neck as you softly lap over her pulse point before sucking down. Lara moans a low and long moan; it's a moan that sets the butterflies in your stomach loose like its the first time they've seen the sky. You resist the urge to bite down upon her neck to show her how much it affects you. God, you think as you continue to shower her with kisses and affection, if she sounds like that now…
You can't finish your thought, however, as there's the sound of someone clearing their throat.
You're about to yell at the person for interrupting, but the minute you make eye contact with the man at the door, you very nearly jump off the bed like a startled cat. Lara is still blissfully unaware and lets out a whimper at the loss of contact as you quickly pull away from her. You half fall, half stumble into the chair beside her with fear and embarrassment for getting caught. Lara opens her eyes and goes to glare at you, but she soon follows your nervous stare. When she sees the man at the door, dressed in a casual business suit and tie, wearing a frown upon his tired face, she lets out an inaudible gasp. You subtly try to wipe your lips as you swallow nervously, avoiding his gaze. An awkward silence fills over the room before he clears his throat.
"Samantha." When he speaks, you feel your teeth grind in frustration at his voice. You have to fight the urge to throw back a snappy retort, but you compose yourself for Lara.
"Father," you say back in a low voice. He raises a brow. You suppress a smirk at his facial expression, because you know that you've only ever called him 'father' when you're upset, and man, are you upset. This is the man that left you three weeks ago when Lara was fucking dying.
"Ms Croft," he says to your best friend in taught voice, curtly nodding his head. "Good to see that you're awake. We were all very worried about you."
Bullshit, you snort.
Your father doesn't glance at you. Lara clears her throat and takes a deep breath. God, she looks so terrified staring at him as she nods, unable to say anything. He did just catch her making out with his daughter. If you were in her place you'd feel equally as scared. It hits you that you won't ever feel that way and it saddens you. You want to reach across for her hand to comfort her, but you know better than to worsen the current situation with more physical affection. You take to folding your hands in your lap and instead lean back in your chair, biting your lip in annoyance.
"Why are you here?" It comes out a bit snippy, but you don't care. He left you. Your father stiffens at your tone and you bite back the urge to click your tongue in disgust. Adjusting his tie, he loosens his shoulders and takes a small breath.
"Lara isn't clear to fly with her injuries, so we've allotted the both of you the vacation home here in Osaka for your use," he explains in a gentle tone, "you know, for a more comfortable and quick recovery."
Your heart stops beating. He did… what? You look to Lara to see that she's just as shocked as you are.
"If this is a practical joke, it's far from appropriate or funny," you growl, crossing your arms over your chest protectively. Your father shakes his head as he replies, "no, it's not a joke. Your mother and I want to give you both the time to recover. We… we talked to Jonah and Josilin about the events of the island." He's not looking at you as he says it, but you can tell that he's being serious.
Beside you, Lara stiffens. You will yourself to keep it together for both your sakes.
"My wife and I appreciate your bravery and courage, Ms Croft," he says, looking up to face Lara with grim appreciation. His glance hovers over her bandages and you can feel Lara getting anxious.
"You saved our daughter, and for that, we owe you our lives," he says gently, nodding his head at her. You watch as he rubs the back of his head with his flattened palm. "Even if… if you are both… if you…, you know." He can't seem to finish the statement as he lowers his gaze awkwardly.
"She's still my little girl," he whispers under his breath as he looks to you. His bottom lip trembles as he drops the 'tough father' facade for his vulnerable reality. His eyes are a gentle carnelian as they glimmer with unshed tears. You feel your heart constrict at the pleading gaze.
"I'm sorry Samantha, for leaving you," he says in a strangled voice, "it just came as a shock to your mother and I. We still love you, my darling. We always will. If… Lara," he stumbles upon her name and you swear that you can hear your best friend's breath hitch, "if Lara is the one for you, then so be it. She's proven herself by bringing you back safely. That's enough for us."
Is this their way of giving their blessing? You glance over at Lara, who seems to be burning her eyes into the small dent in the wall behind your father's head. Nobody speaks for a moment. You don't know how to answer to his reply because you don't even know what your relationship status with Lara is. Are you girlfriends? Friends? You have kissed and exchanged your feelings, but neither of you have acknowledged where you stand now. You're drifting in limbo and you feel uneasy all of the sudden. You look back at Lara to see that her eyes haven't moved.
Oh God, you think with an ebbing fear, does she regret it?
"Dad," you croak, unable to look at Lara any longer. You face your father with a solemn expression as you feel a familiar rumbling in your gut. Her voice slithers up your spine in a hushed whisper. Coldness curls over your fingers and your heart begins the routine pounding in your eardrums. The inside of your chest burns and you fight off the nausea that follows. Your breath becomes short as anxiety approaches.
No, you tell yourself as you shove it back down, not right now.
"I … we need time to think about it," you manage to say softly.
Your father dips his head in respect as he agrees to your statement. He mumbles a quiet agreement before mentioning that he has to talk to your mother and their lawyer. He parts without another word, leaving the room bare again. It takes you some time to recuperate and push down the swirling feeling of anxiety again before you can face Lara again. This time, she's looking at her bandaged hands, a lost expression painted upon her face. You want to kiss her, but you hold back. You instead take a deep breath and lick your lips, catching the faintest taste of her upon your lips. You're distracted by the simple crackling of the sheets as Lara plays with them between her deft fingertips.
Curling and uncurling, just like your nerves.
"So…," it's Lara that says the strained word. She doesn't look at you, but you watch her face flush a deep red as she clears her throat, starting again.
"So, about… us." You can hear the fear and uncertainty in her voice as she finally cocks her head up to stare at you. You soften your gaze to give her as much support as you can.
"About us," you repeat her words in a gentle whisper. Without your control, your hand reaches for hers beside the bed. You keep your eyes on Lara as you thread your fingers together and tug lightly. Lara gasps and bites her lip, blushing harder. Man, you won't ever get tired of seeing that blush. You smile involuntarily as you watch her struggle to compose herself. She's so damned cute when she's nervous.
"I… we," Lara stumbles on her words, "we love each other." Your lips curl up into a small smile at the words, and Lara smiles back, obviously mousy and flustered beyond means.
"We do," you reaffirm, nodding your head. You feel like one of those pitiful counsellors that both of you are forced to talk with biweekly. Cringing, you try to be more supportive without sounding like you do it for a living. Lara looks at you, but her eyes suddenly grow dark, leaving a chill running through your veins. She hangs her head into her chest as she loosens her grip upon your hand. You frown, unsure of what just happened.
"I have to get back out there," Lara says quietly, "I… I'm not gonna be able to… you know. I… I… I-I'm not going back to England, Sam." You pause at her words, digesting them. Running the possibilities in your head, you're calculating again. You wait until you're confident enough with a decision before you clear our throat and straighten your back.
"Then neither am I," you conclude strongly, nodding your head. Lara jerks her head up, surprised at your adamant tone. You reach for her hand again and lean closer to her.
"Lara, I didn't stay at your bedside for four weeks just to let you out of my sight now," you tell her, your voice raw with sadness as you remember how broken Lara had been. You shake the memory away as you look back at her with a grim smile.
"You're alone in this anymore, Lara," you mumble encouragingly, "you're never alone."
"Sam, you know that what I need to do. It's dangerous out there and I can't guarantee your safety," Lara says, trying to pry you away from the notion of following her. You watch as she closes her eyes, a few tears leaking out. "I nearly lost you on Yamatai, Sam. If that happens again…"
"I nearly lost you too, Lara," you remind her. You squeeze her hand tightly as you stand from your seat. Lara follows you with her watchful, guarded eyes. You lay your body down next to hers again. She scoots a bit so that you don't lean off the edge this time. You rest your head next to hers and simply lose yourself in her warm gaze. She's so beautiful, so delicate, so strong, so… perfect, despite her imperfections. Lara doesn't shift away from your glance, but instead inches closer.
"Sam," she whispers, her doubt being chipped away. You can feel her breath flickering upon your lips as she sighs deeply. You move slightly, close enough to graze her chin.
"We take it slow," you speak the words that she wants to ask you and the ones you desperately need to say. "We take this slow. You're still in no state to be up and moving around, let alone raiding more tombs. In the mean time, we figure this out. We have time, Lara. We have time, and I'm not wasting anymore of it without you by my side, okay?" Lara sniffles as she chokes on a breath. You breathe it in, trying to take away some of the toxicity from her tortured body.
"Okay," Lara says gently. You smile at her, a soft but welcoming grin.
"Okay," you repeat after her, nodding. Lara chuckles lightly as she dips her head. You don't allow her to complete the action though, as you place your free hand on her jaw. You tilt her face back up to yours and lean in. Reflexively, the both of you close your eyes.
The kiss is chaste and sweet, but it speaks the words you both can't voice. You smile into each other's lips as you lose yourselves in that simple connection. Lara pulls away from you first, blushing deeply as she chuckles. You kiss her nose and forehead before hastily pecking her mouth one more time. You can see her eyes beginning to grow hazy; you know that the medication has begun to weave its way through her system and she'll be a bit loopy soon. You curl a lock of her hair behind her ear and she giggles at you, her lips spread in a wide grin. You pull her body close to yours and smile into her hair as she nuzzles her face into your chest affectionately.
"I love you," she mumbles in a muffled voice. You smile at the words as you pat her hair.
"I love you too, darling," you say, planting a kiss in her hair.
You look outside to see your father staring in through the glass. His eyes are slightly glazed with tears as you both make eye contact. You know it can't be easy for him, but he nods regardless. You glance back down at Lara, now passed out in your arms; her body is curled around yours like a heliotrope vine. You sigh deeply as you stroke her hair and think of the decision ahead of you. Lara wants to find her parents. She helped save you, and you will help save her. If finding out the answer to their disappearance saves her, then so be it. You won't leave her side until the task is complete. You turn back to your father and give him a nod and he understands. You may not be a tomb raider like Lara, but you are that tomb raider's girlfriend. You glance back down at Lara with a grim smile. If you're gonna do this, you're going to need a place to start. You'll start by recovering what you've both lost, and fixing all that has been broken, all the way down to the microscopic shards of your fragile minds and dismembered souls. It won't be easy, but it needs to be done.
Together, you will both find peace again.