A/N: Omorashi warning, kidnapping warning, etc. Also Near crossdressing.
Disclaimer: I don't own DeathNote or the characters.
Near couldn't believe he was letting himself do this. He knew Mello had suggested it mostly as a joke, but it had still been a good idea, though he didn't want to admit it. There was someone going around and kidnapping little girls, and the two of them needed to get to the bottom of it.
Mello didn't even slightly look like a little girl, so by default that left him. He still looked young, and after a wig and a new set of clothes, Near looked shockingly like a preteen girl. Under the clothes, of course, were various devices for if he did actually get kidnapped, which Near just told himself probably wouldn't happen, mostly because he didn't entirely trust Mello to save him. There was a team of people that was ready to do so, of course, but Mello would be the only one who'd be able to do so quickly.
"Are you ready yet, Near?" Mello called. Near looked at himself in the bathroom mirror. He still couldn't believe that he looked the part so well. He had on a blond wig, because he and Mello were supposed to look like siblings, a gray t-shirt with some pop band name, and a red circle skirt that Near had mentioned was just a little too short, but no one seemed to care.
"Yes." He opened the door, and was immediately met with relentless laughter from Mello, and a bit of snickering from everyone else. Near tried to keep a straight face, but his cheeks went pink anyway.
It was another half hour before Mello could look at him without laughing. They left, starting down the street. Near occasionally glanced up at people, but no one seemed to notice that he was…actually a he. He wasn't sure whether he should be offended by or proud of that.
All of the kidnappings had happened at the park, which was on the complete other side of town. The two of them tried to have a normal conversation as they walked, but Mello couldn't take Near seriously and Near's constant mumbles of You're so immature just made it harder. Mello tried to remind Near to smile and actually act like a little girl, but Near clearly was uninterested in the advice. Wanting to make sure no one followed or recognized them, they went in a long, roundabout way, and it took them over an hour to actually get there.
When they actually did arrive, Near blatantly refused to leave Mello's side, sitting with him on a bench instead. Mello insisted that wouldn't work, but Near wasn't budging, saying he'd be more likely to give them away if he tried to mingle with the children there.
They sat on the bench, looking around. They talked, but had a hard time finding something to talk about, since discussing a criminal case in public was probably illegal, and they had absolutely nothing else in common.
An hour passed. Near shifted a bit, uncomfortable in the clothes. It crossed his mind that he needed to use the bathroom, but when he looked over at the restrooms, he knew that he couldn't. There were clearly marked men's and women's restrooms, and there was absolutely no way that Near would go into the women's. He couldn't go into the men's either, because that would completely give him away. He'd just have to wait until they got back.
"Are you even listening to me?" Near heard Mello say.
"No."
Mello rolled his eyes.
"What did you say?"
"It doesn't matter."
"Fine."
Now that Near was aware of his bladder, he couldn't stop thinking about it. He didn't go out much, so there was always a bathroom readily available to him, and his bladder muscles weren't strong at all. He never had to hold it. He tried to just ignore the feeling, but he must not have been doing a very good job, because it was only another fifteen minutes before Mello said, "You sound distracted."
"I'm not."
"You are. What are you thinking about?"
"None of your business."
"You're a jerk, you know that?"
"Yes." Near looked away. He shifted position again, pressing his legs together. There didn't seem to be any position that eased the pressure on his bladder.
"You're antsy." Mello said, clearly trying to keep up a conversation even though Near was being snappy. "Are you nervous or something?"
"Of course not." Near tried to stay still, but quickly gave up when his need worsened. Why didn't he think of this possible problem before they left?
"Nothing's going to happen to you."
"I know that."
"Then why are you nervous?"
"I'm not." Near insisted.
"You-"
"I have to go to the bathroom." Near explained, looking away.
"Oh." Mello paused, thinking it over in his head that this problem didn't have a clear answer. "Go in the women's. No one will know."
"I'll know."
"Fine, then hold it."
They were both quiet after that. Near usually liked when Mello shut his mouth, but not now. He needed something to distract him from his need. He thought over the case.
Five girls, all between the ages of six and twelve, kidnapped from the same park, all between four and six PM. No one had seen anything suspicious, but had all mentioned seeing a tall black-haired man with a dog around the time the girls went missing. The man always wore sunglasses, but had nothing else distinguishing about him. In four out of the five cases, the girls had been alone. None of them had been seen leaving with the man. The man-
"Near. God, don't you ever listen?"
"Not to you."
"Whatever. Look over there."
Near looked up. There was the black-haired man, wearing sunglasses. A golden lab was lying at his feet calmly.
"Go ask to pet his dog."
Near shifted a bit. His bladder was full. He pressed his thighs together, his hand resting on his thigh. He bounced his leg a bit. Fine. Whatever. He'd use the women's restroom. "First I need to-"
"Don't even think about it. Go over there."
"Mello-"
"Do you want him to kidnap someone else?"
Near stood up. His need got so much worse. He shifted his weight from foot to foot, trying to be discreet, but his bladder was so painfully full that he just couldn't keep still. As much as he didn't want to admit it, Mello was right, though. He needed to go over there.
Mello's phone was already out, and Near wasn't sure whether he was videotaping the situation or calling for backup.
Near walked over, the urine sloshing around in his bladder with each step. He did his best to put on his "little girl" act. "Sir, can I pet your dog?"
The man looked at him, a faint smirk playing on his lips. Near didn't need the evidence. He could just tell this had to be the man. "Of course."
Near crouched down, running his hand over the dog's head. He was nervous, as much as he hated to admit it, which made his bladder scream even more for relief.
The dog suddenly got up and jumped on Near, and Near fell back, knocking his head against the bench that the man was sitting on. A spurt of urine escaped him at the shock. He was vaguely aware of the man pulling the dog off of him. His head throbbed. "I'm so sorry." The man said. He was a goo d actor. Near almost believed him. "Are you alright?"
"Yes…"
"Where are your parents? That looked bad."
"They're not here." Near had rehearsed this many times already. Otherwise, he would've blown it right there.
"Can I drive you home, then?"
"No, I…"
"Come on." He was too rough as he grabbed Near's arm, hauling him up and starting to lead him off to the parking lot. Near tried not to panic. Obviously, Mello was going to come chasing after them. He told himself that all the way up until they got to a small black car. The man opened the back door and kindly let Near inside, and though every part of him didn't want to get in the car, he complied and sat down. The dog got in the passenger seat, and the man drove off. Where was Mello? He wasn't supposed to let this happen.
The man was silent as he drove. Near had to pee. He really had to pee, and he had to get out of that car. "Sir?"
"Yes?"
"I have to go to the bathroom." He pressed his thighs together.
"We'll be there soon." The man hadn't even asked where he lived.
"No. I really have to go." He was hardly acting as he crossed his legs, bouncing a bit in the seat.
"You're hurt. I want to get you home quickly."
"Can't we stop somewhere?"
"No." The man said sternly.
"Please…I have to go to the bathroom…"
"Shut up."
Near pressed his hand into his crotch, holding himself tightly. His other hand fumbled to undo the seatbelt, but the button didn't work, so he assumed there was some sort of lock. He rocked back and forth in the seat, biting his lip. He was going to wet himself.
Then, he heard it. Police sirens. They got closer, and there was clearly more than one car. It didn't matter, though, because Near couldn't hold it any longer and he started going, soaking his skirt and the car seat underneath him. When the man finally pulled over, Near had finished going. There wasn't much conversation as the man was led off in handcuffs. Someone had to cut the seatbelt off of Near. As he walked back to the car, he saw Mello, sitting in the van with an empty seat next to him. That was probably where he was supposed to sit. He hesitantly walked over and opened the door, his skirt still dripping.
"Wow, you weren't kidding when you said you had to piss."
"Shut up." Near's face was bright red. Mello snickered, but stayed quiet the entire way home.