Olivia pulled into the driveway of the farmhouse. This used to be the best part of her day, coming home, but lately the visits to the farmhouse always ended the same - with her leaving more confused and despondent than when she had arrived. It had been months now since Olivia moved out of the farmhouse and into the Beacon. It was a move prompted by the impending marriage of Frank and Natalia but when that failed to happen it took Olivia and Natalia's lives into a new direction. Natalia had immediately wanted Olivia and Emma to move back in, "move back home" she'd said to be exact. But Olivia knew that the only way she could move back to the farmhouse was if she was moving in with Natalia, living with Natalia, if she was with Natalia.

Many deep conversations had ensued from that point on. There were many steps forward and equally as many steps back. There was always something that seemed to get in the way of any real progress being made in their "relationship" and some days Olivia felt she was at her breaking point. Natalia had seemed to be getting closer to making a full fledged commitment to Olivia until Rafe came home throwing Natalia's delicate balance into a tailspin and sending Olivia back out to the periphery of Natalia's life.

But tonight something felt different when she arrived at the farmhouse. As she sat in her car looking at the house, the last remnants of sunset just leaving the evening sky, heaviness fell into her heart that she had not felt since Natalia announced her engagement to Frank. Tonight Olivia feared that something irreversible was about to happen and it scared her to death.

Natalia had called Olivia while she was still at work. Natalia had picked up Emma from school, as had become her routine since Olivia and Emma no longer lived at the farmhouse. It gave them a chance to spend some time together after school since dinner time, homework time and bedtime were no longer a part of their daily routine. But the tone of Natalia's voice worried Olivia and she just couldn't seem to place the emotion that was behind it. For the first time in their long journey together, Olivia didn't know what was going on with Natalia and it filled her with dread.

"Olivia, hi…it's Natalia."

"I know it's you honey. What's up?"

"Um, well, I wanted to let you know that I dropped Emma off at Jane's."

"Oh, alright…is everything okay? Did something happen during your visit?"

"No, no it's not that at all. Emma's fine, I just…it's just that…"

Olivia was becoming more pensive as the conversation went on but she didn't want to force Natalia into telling her something that she may not be ready to hear. "Are you sure you're okay Natalia?"

Natalia let out a long breath that she didn't know she was holding, "No, I'm not." she replied in an almost defeated tone. "Can you come home?"

"Natalia we've talked ab…" Olivia was cut off before she could finish her thought.

"Please Olivia, I need you." The desperation in Natalia's voice is what drove Olivia to stand at her desk and start gathering her things. "Can you give me an hour? I just need to settle some loose ends here first."

"Thank you Olivia. I love you."

Olivia sighed heavily into the phone, "I know. I love you. See you soon." There was no goodbye, they both simply ended the call and Olivia went about finishing up her work as quickly as she could so she could once again rush to be with Natalia. No matter how many times she told herself this wasn't working, all this trying they were doing was getting them nowhere, the minute Natalia called Olivia stopped what she was doing and went to her. Tonight was no different.

So there Olivia sat, in front of the farmhouse that she used to call home, that she wanted to call home again. Staring at the soft light coming from the kitchen window she remembered fondly all the times spent around the kitchen table; groggy mornings, giggly lunches, homework, dinners, coffee, late night chats, everything that she had done with Natalia and Emma that had turned the house into a home. Watching movies in the living room while curled up on the couch with Emma in her lap and Natalia resting her head on her shoulder. Folding laundry together, running errands to buy something that the house needed, bringing in the groceries, building a fire, watching the ducks. There was no memory inside that house that did not include the three of them; there was nothing that didn't scream family and home.

Whatever was happening with Natalia tonight Olivia was going to get to the bottom of it. She couldn't live like this any longer, no - she wouldn't live like this any longer. "I'm Olivia Freakin' Spencer for Christ's sake!" she thought to herself. With her resolve firmly steeled, Olivia opened the car door and stepped out into the chilled night air. She took her first few steps towards the door hesitantly but then with purpose as she drew closer. Olivia knocked as she peered through the window of the kitchen door. No one responded. She knocked again and listened for the sounds of Natalia coming to the door - nothing. She knocked again, this time a little harder and calling out Natalia's name, still no response. Olivia reached into her purse and pulled out her keys. Natalia had insisted that she keep the keys to the farmhouse in case of an emergency, she didn't know if this counted exactly but she was going in one way or another.

Olivia unlocked the door and opened it slowly, "Natalia?" Olivia continued into the kitchen and set down her purse. "Natalia?" she called a little louder this time as she removed her coat and placed it over the back of a chair at the table. "Natalia, where are you?" she inquired as she started to move towards the living room.

"I'm in here." Natalia called out, barely above a whisper, from the living room.

Olivia hesitantly entered the living room and was shocked by the sight that greeted her. Natalia sat in the far corner of the couch, an open bottle of wine on the table, a half empty glass beside it, the only light in the room coming from the fireplace. Natalia was in her bathrobe hugging her knees to her chest and her head resting atop them. Olivia immediately crossed the room and knelt down in front of her.

"Baby, what's wrong? Why are you sitting here in the dark… drinking alone?"

"It's not dark, there's the light from the fire and I haven't had that much to drink. I thought it would help calm me but nothing seems to calm me these days."

"Natalia..." Olivia replied, her voice a whisper. "Tell me what happened today that made you cut your visit with Emma short and leave her at Jane's."

Natalia let out a deep sigh. "It all started out so normally. I picked her up, she was as happy to see me as I was to see her. We went to Company for hot chocolate and we were just talking, going over her homework and having a good time." At this point tears started to well in Natalia's eyes. At the sight of them Olivia began to prepare herself for what she feared was coming next. "Then Emma asked me when you and she could move back home."

"Oh, I see"

"No you don't see!" Natalia exclaimed. "Let me finish!"

"I'm sorry" Olivia said and then cleared her throat. "Please, go ahead."

"She just looked at me waiting for an answer and I didn't know what to tell her." Natalia took a deep breath and continued. "Then she asked me if I still love you. I said of course I do, why would she ask that? And she said 'if you love mommy and mommy loves you then what are you waiting for?' I was dumbfounded by the question Olivia. I wasn't expecting it to come from a 9 year olds mouth but she hit the nail right on the head. What are we waiting for?" Natalia looked at Olivia pleadingly.

Olivia just knelt there unable to move, unable to form a coherent thought, and stared at Natalia. They were both looking to each other for the answer to the child's question but neither knew what it was. Olivia finally broke the silence, "Out of the mouths of babes, huh?" Natalia giggled slightly and just as quickly as the smile had graced her lips it was gone again. Olivia reached out and took Natalia's hands in her own. "We don't need to know the answer to that right now. We still have time to figure things out, to figure us out."

"But why Olivia? Why do we still need time? It's been months since we shared our feelings. Months that we've been dancing around what is right and wrong. Months that we've been denying our desires and putting everything and everyone else before our relationship under the guise of waiting for things to be right before we can move forward. But why? What are we waiting for Olivia?"

"Well…" Olivia cleared her throat again. She couldn't believe that they were finally going to have this conversation and she didn't know if she was ready to be completely honest with Natalia. "At first it was because…"

"No!" Natalia again cut Olivia off before she could finish her thought. "I don't want to hear my excuses told back to me like I've been absent these past months. I know what we said the "reasons" were but what I want to know is, what are we waiting for now?" Natalia took her hands and ran them through her hair, letting out a frustrated groan at the same time. Olivia stood up and began to pace in front of the fireplace. She didn't know what Natalia wanted and she didn't know how she was supposed to react to this new revelation she appeared to be having.

Natalia started speaking again while Olivia continued to pace, her visual focus on the floor as she listened. "The fact of the matter is that there is never going to be a perfect time Olivia. If we truly want this to work it's going to be difficult and uncomfortable but for other people, it doesn't have to be that way for us. People are just going to have to either accept that we're together and all that it entails or they're going to have to move out of the way." With those last words Olivia stopped in her tracks and turned to face Natalia. Natalia stood from her seat on the couch.

Olivia gasped when Natalia stood up and she noticed that Natalia's robe was open all the way down the front of her and there was nothing beneath but Natalia's olive skin. Natalia walked towards Olivia, who was frozen where she stood, all her attention was focused on the vision of beauty approaching her. Natalia reached out and grasped Olivia's hands. "I'm tired of waiting for everyone else to be okay with us before we can be okay. I'm tired of waiting for the perfect moment to show you how I feel. I'm tired of waiting Olivia."

Natalia began to pull Olivia closer to her. She took Olivia's hands and began moving them towards her stomach, inching them into the inside of her robe. Olivia's breathing began to quicken as she realized that she was about to touch Natalia's naked skin. Olivia's heart was pounding so hard and fast that she was sure it was going to burst out of her chest. As her hands came closer to Natalia's waist she could feel the heat radiating off the younger woman's body. Olivia's eyes never left Natalia's as the distance between them became smaller.

Before she completely lost control of her faculties Olivia made one last attempt to regain control of the situation. "Natalia, I think we should…" but Natalia cut her off again.

"I'm tired of thinking Olivia. I want to be." Natalia closed the distance between her and Olivia by placing her hands on Olivia's shoulders and pulling her closer. Olivia could feel Natalia's warm breath caressing her neck and cheek as she continued to speak. "I want you and Emma to come home. I want you here with me, Olivia." Natalia placed light, feathery kisses along Olivia's neck and jaw line as she edged closer to Olivia's ear. "I want you here when I go to sleep and when I wake up. I want you in my bed. I want you Olivia." With those final words whispered reverently into Olivia's ear Natalia closed her mouth around the lobe and sucked gently. Olivia's body shivered at the contact and the hands that were clenched into fists at Natalia's sides opened and grabbed her firmly around the waist.

Olivia pulled back just far enough to look Natalia in the eye, all she saw was love and desire. When Olivia noticed Natalia's gaze drop from Olivia's eyes to her lips it was all the encouragement she needed. She eagerly pressed her mouth to Natalia's, pouring all the love and passion into this first kiss that had been building in the both of them for so many months. They continued to kiss for minutes, hours, maybe even days but neither of them was aware of the passage of time. All they could feel were each other's mouths, tongues, lips, colliding in sweet desire that had been denied them all these many months. When each was at their breaking point due to lack of oxygen they broke apart.

"Natalia…" Olivia whispered, her breath coming in short gasps. She finally allowed her hands to move from Natalia's waist to her back and was gently caressing the skin she had dreamt of touching for so long. Natalia moved closer to Olivia again and began to remove Olivia's suit jacket. The trail of Natalia's fingertips along Olivia's arms were sending shivers down Olivia's spine. Olivia could feel the goose bumps rising on her skin even though she was on fire with want for Natalia. Olivia didn't want to lose contact with Natalia for fear that she would never touch her again but the moment came that she had to let go so that Natalia could continue to remove Olivia's jacket. The Armani jacket fell to the floor at Olivia's feet and she could care less. All she wanted was to continue to feel Natalia's hands on her body, regardless of what they were doing.

Fortunately, Natalia's main goal was to remove Olivia's clothing by any means possible. Natalia made quick work of the buttons on Olivia's blouse and removed that as well, leaving feathery kisses on the newly exposed skin. Olivia's breathing continued to quicken with every touch of Natalia's lips to her skin. Small whimpers were beginning to escape Natalia's mouth as she continued to explore the skin of Olivia's neck, shoulders and chest. Olivia deftly stepped out of her heels and kicked them away. Natalia reached for the clasp on Olivia's bra and unfastened it, taking in a sharp breath as Olivia's breasts were exposed to her. "So beautiful…" was all Natalia said as she allowed her hands to gently touch the skin of Olivia's bare breasts before taking them fully into her hands. Olivia pulled Natalia close again and began kissing her neck and jaw line, mapping a trail to Natalia's ear. "I've wanted you for so long Natalia." and she pulled Natalia's earlobe into her mouth, sucking softly.

Natalia continued to kiss Olivia's neck, shoulders and chest but also began a course lower, allowing her mouth to come into contact with the scar that ran down between Olivia's breasts. Olivia pulled back slightly, embarrassed by the mar on what was once a perfect body. This was the first time anyone had seen the scar in a sexual context and she feared Natalia would be repulsed by it. Natalia firmly held Olivia in place and laved the scar with her tongue, placing kisses on either side of it and letting her fingertips gently trace it. Soft moans escaped Olivia's lips at the feeling, the things Natalia was doing to her were more than showing her the love they both felt for each other. Olivia felt her confidence renewed through Natalia's actions and again allowed herself to take a more dominant posture. Olivia grabbed Natalia's head and brought her back up for a searing kiss that only intensified the heat in the room. Natalia moaned into Olivia's mouth when she felt Olivia's thigh press into her center. Natalia trailed her fingers down Olivia's sides and then to her front, resting her hands above the waistband of her trousers. "Yes." Olivia managed between kisses and Natalia began to undo the button. The trousers fell to the floor at Olivia's feet not too far from where the rest of her clothes lay. Olivia again kicked the garment to the side and moaned when she felt Natalia take her ass into her hands and squeeze. Olivia needed to feel Natalia's skin against her own and removed the barrier standing in her way. Olivia brought her hands up to Natalia's shoulders and softly inched the robe down her arms. Olivia lavished kisses on the exposed skin and saw the goose bumps that lay in the wake. Olivia allowed her tongue to dart out and taste the flesh that had been forbidden to her all these months, nipping at it slightly. Natalia let her arms fall to her sides so that the robe could fall to the ground and she waited while Olivia took in the sight of a completely naked, open and beautiful Natalia. Olivia reached for Natalia and drew her into her arms; they were impossibly close, wanting each part of their bodies to be connected. Hands roamed, teeth nipped, tongues tasted, kisses soothed, anything they could do to experience this moment with all of their senses they were doing.

Both were breathing heavily now, drunk with the rising desire in them. Natalia removed the scant bit of lace that covered Olivia's sex and took her by the hand, leading her towards the couch. Olivia was overwhelmed by the confidence and certainty that Natalia was showing in her actions and, if it was possible, it was turning her on even more. Natalia sat on the couch and pulled Olivia towards her, laying back the closer Olivia got. When she was fully reclined Natalia pulled Olivia on top of her. "Oh God, Natalia…" Olivia whispered as she allowed her body to begin to rock into Natalia's. "Make love to me Olivia. I need you." Those words were Olivia's undoing. Olivia again kissed Natalia with passion and ferocity, allowing her hands to run the length of Natalia's body. She brought her hands finally to Natalia's breasts and cupped them, allowing her fingers to play with the nipples until they were rock hard under her touch. Olivia kissed and nipped her way down Natalia's throat until she reached her right breast. Olivia let her mouth hover over the nipple until Natalia whispered, "Please Olivia, please…" Olivia lowered her head and took the nipple into her mouth, savoring the flavor and feel of it on her tongue. She began to suck and when she nipped at it she felt Natalia's fingers grip her hair tightly and her hips rise up to Olivia's. Olivia continued her ministrations and alternated between Natalia's breasts; palming one while sucking and nipping the other. Natalia's reaction increased with every move that Olivia made; moans, whimpers, growling leaving Natalia's lips in approval for each one.

Olivia became more bold, even though she had no idea what she was doing, and started running her hand down the outside of Natalia's thigh, lingering at her hip before moving down again. Each time she brought her hand up it was closer to the inside of Natalia's thigh until finally she could feel the heat radiating from Natalia's center. Natalia was rocking her hips in a steady rhythm now, and Olivia's fingers brushed the damp curls at the apex of Natalia's thighs. Natalia grabbed Olivia's head and pulled her back up to face her. Olivia began to remove her hand from between Natalia's legs but Natalia grabbed her wrist and pushed Olivia's hand back down. Olivia tentatively slid two fingers between Natalia's folds and was rewarded with a "yeeeessssss…." spoken breathlessly to her. Olivia couldn't believe how wet Natalia was and her ego was inflated knowing she was the cause of it. Olivia continued to slide her fingers through the moisture and lightly circle Natalia's clit. When she felt it start to become hard under her touch she couldn't restrain the words that came out of her mouth. "Jesus Natalia… you feel so good." And Olivia began to increase her pace and edge closer to Natalia's opening.

Natalia had been kissing Olivia's neck, jaw line, and upper chest while still holding onto Olivia's head as she kissed and sucked her breasts. Once Natalia felt Olivia nearing her opening she again brought Olivia's face to hers. Natalia was looking Olivia straight in the eyes when Olivia slowly entered her with two fingers. Natalia's briefly threw her head back against the couch cushions as she felt Olivia fully enter her. "Nnhh… uh… oh… Olivia…" Olivia was moving relentlessly slowly in and out of Natalia until she felt Natalia's hips begin to rise up to meet her minimal thrusts. Natalia shifted slightly, without losing eye contact, and placed her thigh in between Olivia's. She immediately felt Olivia's arousal coat the skin of her thigh and Olivia rocked into the strong muscle. Olivia then shifted herself to place her thigh between Natalia's legs and used it to increase the pressure behind her own hand, which was now increasing its movement in and out of Natalia. Natalia let her hands move from the sides of Olivia's face down to Olivia's breasts. As Olivia was thrusting, Natalia was squeezing, palming and pinching Olivia's nipples, eliciting pleasurable noises from her lover.

Natalia was enjoying the slow ride that Olivia was providing, reveling in the buildup of the orgasm she knew was on the horizon. Then Olivia used her thumb to start circling Natalia's engorged clit causing her breath to hitch and a slight squeal to escape her throat. Olivia could feel Natalia's muscles begin to tighten around her fingers and her hips were rising and falling at a quickened pace. Olivia sped up her thrusts to match the rhythm Natalia was setting as the chocolate brown eyes she so adored gazing into suddenly turned black with desire. Natalia removed her hands from Olivia's breasts and used one to grab Olivia's hip and the other to brace herself with Olivia's shoulder. She began tightening the muscle in her thigh to increase the pressure on Olivia's center all the while Olivia is rocking her hips against it and pumping fervently into Natalia. Their bodies are slick with sweat and sex as they continue to writhe against each other. Natalia can feel the stirrings low in her belly as Olivia buries her face into Natalia's neck, kissing and sucking at the pulse point. "Olivia baby… look at me" Natalia grunts out between thrusts. "Stay with me baby."

Natalia's gaze is locked into Olivia's as she begins to dig her nails into Olivia's shoulder. "Oh God, Olivia…yes… oh… uh… yes… fu…" Olivia increases her pace both into Natalia and against her thigh. Both women are now on the verge of climax and Olivia focuses all her energy on bringing her lover with her over the edge. "Nat… fuck… yes…" The panting, the breathing, the slap of Olivia's fingers against Natalia's wet center, build to a crescendo as first Natalia cries out Olivia's name into the fire lit room followed closely by Olivia doing the same, neither losing eye contact with the other. Both women shudder as the last waves of their combined orgasms leave their bodies. Olivia can feel the tremors against her fingers still deep inside Natalia. Natalia can feel the subtle rocking of Olivia's hips against her thigh. Olivia's arm is trembling from holding herself up and she finally collapses at Natalia's side before gently removing her fingers from Natalia's heat. Natalia gasps slightly at the sudden loss of contact but then quickly turns herself to face Olivia.

Natalia brings her hand up to move the sweat dampened bangs from Olivia's forehead. Olivia smiles at the tender gesture and brings her hand up to sweetly graze Natalia's cheek with the back of her fingers, wiping away a single tear in the process. Natalia smiles sweetly and gives Olivia a glimpse of the dimples that have always been and always will be her undoing. They lay there quietly for the longest time, just looking at each other, gently caressing each other's bodies, kissing languidly.

Olivia finally broke the silence, "You're amazing you know that?"

"Only because I'm with you." Natalia blushed slightly. "How is your heart?"

"You tell me." Olivia replied.

"What?"

"It's your heart Natalia, it belongs to you. It always has and it always will." With those words spoken Olivia placed Natalia's hand on the scar in the middle of her chest as Natalia watched intently. "You're the reason this beat is so strong, it beats for you."

Natalia returned her gaze to Olivia's eyes, "I love you Olivia."

"And I love you Natalia." Olivia brought her lips to Natalia's and kissed her reverently.

"Come home Olivia." Natalia eked out between kisses.

"I already am."

FIN