Note: No more preview, here's the first chapter guys! I'm working on my first Haikyuu! fanfiction, for KageHina. I hope you enjoy! It's only the first chapter. Sorry if it's not perfectly in character I know Kageyama isn't acting like his normal self but that'll be explained and I'm trying my best! (Also there will be hints of other ships such as Suga and Daichi and later on!) Super new to this ^u^" Also thank you to lovely user Chisato Morohiko for telling me that I should use "I" instead of "you" and etc and helped me feel motivated to continue with this first chapter! Thank you, and thank you for reading!
"How much does he really mean to you?" Those were the words that made me first ever question mine and Kageyamas power dynamic more than just as a team member. Daichi had stepped forward at the end of a game after Kageyama and I had landed a freak quick to end the last set, a whooping game 25 – 11 by the end. He probably meant it in the most platonic, team building sort of way, but my mind couldn't help but wonder to where it had. But then again, maybe that wasn't the only thing he was questioning. Even Suga had noticed my relentless need for Kageyamas praise as of recent. He didn't say anything too odd about it, just random things he tends to be very good at picking up on compared to the others. I don't exactly understand it, either… What makes me so obsessed with that cool guy wannabe king? I still feel a bit of a strong rivalry type emotion toward him but that's something that's never changed, but everyone always speculates that… My trust for Kageyama when he tosses the ball has become even stronger and predominant off the court as well as on. And that natural for friends… I believed at first, at least.
It's been nearly a week since Daichi had questioned me like that, but I couldn't let it peel out of my mind. It was although it had planted in my brains core but my mind can't blossom because it can't figure out the solution. I enjoy it so much when I get praise from Kageyama, and fear every moment he'll snap at me; but sometimes, he doesn't get mad. Like more so. Like, he's grown more attached to me in a way as I've grown to him. I still would like to punch the king's smug face in half the time whenever he gets all up on his dumb high horse. Sometimes he grabs my head like he's gonna break it, but other times… He gently pets my head and tells me that I've done good… Your heart seems to flutter whenever this happens. You give up.
I just can't pinpoint it. Who can help…? Ah! Tanaka must have some good advice! I'd have to wait before practice to get him alone to talk. Hopefully you can… Whoops! There's the bell. You were probably supposed to be taking notes as your mind wandered, but you merely shrugged and shoved your notebooks and pencil into your bag, take off your school uniform jacket, and slip on your volleyball team jacket as you're heading out the classroom, and then rush to the gym, now waiting…
Daichi and Sugawara make their way into the gym first, and Tanaka follows only a few moments after. Before Tanaka makes it inside, I find my chance to speak up.
"(pssst. tanaka senpaaaiii.)" I whisper, but loud enough for him to hear.
"Ha? What 'sit, Hina?" He questions rather loudly, but I hush him up real quick and drag him aside away from the gym. "Waaah- What the—"
"Hush, Tanaka senpai!" I put a finger over my lips to make a shhh sound, trying to get him to relax and lower his voice. "I need your help. Well, really, advice, I suppose?"
"I see, tryna get some life advice from your good ol' senpai, alright! I got ya!" He laughed, smirking smugly as he did so. I never did understand why he seemed to get so off by calling him senpai, but I normally decide to ignore the potential creepiness. I liked to stay on the optimistic side of these things.
"Ah... More like... Trying to figure out my emotions in a way..." I specify, not exactly too much information however, while nervously running a hand through my spiky orange hair. My cheeks also happen to fluster up gently to a rose like pink.
Tanaka's face lit up like a Christmas tree. "Ohohoho! You know I'm an expert on emotions! Love, hatred, sadness, jealousy, I got your back with whatever problems because I'm just your amazing senpai!" I could have sworn if this were an anime, some sparkles would've just lit up by his dumb smile.
"Well… There's this person, and they… Make my heart pound… I trust them with everything I have and am, and I am constantly seeking their attention and appraisal… I just really don't understand why though, I used to think hated this person… It's complicated, and whenever I see them, or think about them, I can't focus on schoolwork and such… But at the same time I can't stand them half the time and they're so insufferable!" I vented, as your hands grabbed at your hair in frustration.
"…" Tanaka laughed, "Oh boy, have you ever heard of love? That's what you're in, kiddo." He reached his hand and patted your shoulder, almost felt as a condescending gesture. "Oh, oh, who's the lucky lady?" He jumped to the conclusion of the person being female, staring wide eyed and almost anxious. "Mister Love Doctor Tanaka's ready to write you a prescription for one cute ass girlfriend!"
"No! Oh god no! Never ever, nope!" I didn't bother to correct him on the gender out of sheer embarrassment that he was even /pandering/ at the thought that I could be in love. Love? Nonono, my focus was the court, volleyball, and being the ace (even if that was already Asahi, I still feel hopeful!). I could never be in love… That would be a disaster! And with an asshole like Kageyama?! I want to hurl at the thought. Speaking of hurling, my stomach was twisting and turning like no tomorrow… Oh, I feel so sick and nauseous... This always happens when I get nervous, mostly before games, but right now if felt even worse... "I-I'm gonna… go!" I jumped up and ran straight for the bathroom, almost knocking Tanaka down on the way. I didn't care, I was not going to accept this as an answer at all. Nope. Never.
I make it to the bathroom, before I tumble over your feet and trip, face first into the ground. Ow… That hurts a hell of a load. But not as much as my stomach and chest. It gets harder to breath and I crawl into the bathroom stall, sinking down and wrapping my arms around my knees, and try to focus on breathing. This dreadful feeling overloomed my head and constricted my chest. I think… I think I am in love with that asshole king. My body locks up and I'm just sitting there shaking, and panicking… I stayed there for god knows how long, throwing up, until I finally collected myself. I have to face Kageyama in practice today, hopefully I'll manage. Maybe… Maybe I can work up the courage to speak to him about it, too. Not being straight forward though, that'd be way too creepy!
Making my way to the gym after washing my face and drinking lots of water, hoping I would pull everyone down in practice today. Focus on the ball, Hinata… Focus on getting better at receiving, and having more accurate spikes, we all knows they both need work… I enter the gym with the immediate scalding of Daichi, passive aggressively be it, but still scary. I apologize and bow with fear, and then change my shoes and run around the court for a warmup as Daichi instructed. I stretched for some time, and then joined the rest in practice. Timidly I ignored Kageyama, to my surprise he didn't even yell at me or turn aggressive which was pleasant on my end, despite Tanaka trying to ask me why I ran away earlier and tried to preach about how amazing he was with love. Yeah, sure, we all know your hopeless crush on Kiyoko… Why did I even think it was a good idea to even inquire of this with Tanaka of people? I felt too dazed to make any progression today. That sucked. I gathered my belongings together and slipped my outside shoes on, and headed out.
Not too far from outside of the school, I heard a voice calling me from the distance. My mind was dazed and sleepy so it took me a few moments to react and turn myself around.
"Hinata!" The voice called, and he soon caught up to me.
My cheeks flustered up slightly and I turned away "Oh. Hey, Kageyama."
He made an annoyed face I could see from the corner of my eyes. He wasn't good at being subtle. "What's wrong with you? You seem mad at me. Usually it's the other way around," He scoffed, acting as if he didn't care, but if he didn't care, he clearly wouldn't be asking about it right now.
"I… I'm not mad." I tried to sputter out. I didn't stutter, but I was slow to get the words out. So dumb of me!
"…You hesitated." He glared. I squeaked and backed away a bit. Kageyama can get very scary!
"I-I did not!"
"Now you're stuttering. Seriously. You weren't focused in practice and you seem dazed out even now, what's the issue?" He sounded pissed, but you knew it was all out of concern in reality.
"I'm sorry…" I went with, "I didn't sleep well. I'm just tired… And I just need to head home now." I mumbled quietly.
Kageyama sighed and placed a hand on my shoulder. My cheeks flustered up even darker again. "Alright I'll walk you home. You better get a good nights rest and do better in practice!" He demanded, making it clear it was no suggestion.
"Yeah, yeah, I promise!" I smiled now, and we then headed home from there on. We didn't talk much just slight idle talk, as I was still nervous, but I just did my best to stay relaxed. It was nice that he walked me home and I felt a bit closer to him. But as soon as I was inside and in my bed… My stomach felt like it turned inside out. So much for a goodnights sleep… I need to get more advice tomorrow… Yeah. That'll help me come to terms with this. Who can help though…?