Ok so this is the first thing I have posted here. Not the first fanfic I have written, just it's different to let people see your work. I am posting it mainly to see if people will even read and review it... Please review. Constructive criticism is welcome, just be polite about it, I already know I'm not as good as half the stuff on here.

Warning: yaoi (don't like, don't read), and OOC-ness

I sat there at the table, daydreaming. Long ago I discovered daydreaming was bad for you. That never stopped me though. Every so often I would glance across the table to the subject of my daydreams. At first he was paying attention, then he was just sort if staring off into space, then he was fiddling with something under the table, then he matched about half of the other nations in the room. A single white cord running from his lap to one of his ears. Nobody ever payed any attention at these meetings. It was the bosses who worked everything out, and our job to be there and give consent or sign something. Really I don't know why they make us come at all.

On the other side of the long table, the bosses were heatedly arguing. I wasn't really paying attention to whose boss was saying what, but I knew mine wasn't that involved. I went back to my daydreaming. "What would his hair feel like if I touched it?" I thought. I looked across the table at the mop of golden hair on top of his head. "What about his lips?" I looked across the table again at his perfect lips. Too bad he wasn't smiling at the moment.

"What are you looking at? England can't be /that/ interesting," South Korea teased from next to me.

"Would you please stop teasing me about that? Go bother China or something," I whispered back. South Korea has figured me out. Although I don't think he knew the extent of this. Or how long it has been going on. Ever since the Anglo-Japanese Alliance, I seem to have been in love. Obsessed. Infatuated. Even after the termination of that alliance, I still find myself dreaming about him. Wishing I had told him, so then I would at least /know./ At least if I had told him, I would know the answer to my question. Does he love me back? Or, will I have to find something else to occupy my time with. Someone else to daydream about. This has been going on so long, that I don't really know what I would do if for some reason I were to stop my daydreaming. If he didn't love me. That's why, even after more than a hundred years, he still doesn't know. I'm too afraid. And the longer this goes on, the worse it gets. The more obsessed I am, the more I fear rejection.

So very long ago, yet not actually that long. For humans, it was such a long time. For us nations, it wasn't that long. It felt like a year or two, even though it was a hundred. I keep that memory close to me. The day it all started.

I was in my kitchen, making sushi, and the doorbell rang. It was England-san, he was a bit flushed and held a bouquet of flowers out for me. Lots of different flowers, but mostly roses. He seemed really startled when I opened the door. And I really wasn't expecting him to be there. I offered him tea, and we spent the day talking to each other. The first part of our conversation was as nations, but the part I really liked, was after we had decided to be friends as nations, but when we became friends as people. We discovered that we shared many of the same views, particularly the east versus west thing that seems to be among the nations.

Later that night, my boss came to me. He said he would rather have me in an alliance with Russia than Britain. I did not agree. He said he had already signed an alliance with the Russians, without my consent.

"What? No! I don't want to be in an alliance with the Russians!"

That's what I said before I ran out of my own house. I barely ever disobey my boss. But right then, I knew I was going to, and I didn't really care. I ran and ran, my feet seeming to know the way. That was when I saw him. England. Standing there on the hill. He was looking up at the stars.

"Britain!" I kept running. He didn't look.

"England!" I was still running. He still wasn't looking.

"Eng-... England! ... England!" I was running out of breath. "Almost... There..." I thought. England turned around.

"Wh-what are you doing here?"

"Sorry to bother you so late-"

"Y-you know I'm not Russia right?"

"Oh... You heard about that... Look, England-san, I didn't want that alliance. That was my boss. I think we can change his mind if we come up with a good alliance."

"Really?"

"Hai."

When he looked at me after that, that was when I fell in love. Something about that moment, it was special enough for me to realise what was going on in my mind. And I will remember it forever.

"Japan... Japan... Japan! Wake up! The meeting is over," someone said. It was England. He looked down at me, and took his hand off of my shoulder when he saw I was awake.

"I fell asleep? Where did everybody go? Why were you the only one who stayed to wake me?"

"China said he had something to take care of. And I offered," he said.

"Oh. Arigato England-san."

"You're welcome. And, um, how long are you staying? I know everybody is required to stay one more day, but I thought maybe I would stay a little longer."

"Oh... I thought maybe I would stay an extra day, it is really nice here."

"Yes it is..."

"England-san, this is my room."

"Wha-? Oh! Yes, it was nice talking to you."

"Hai, I will see you later England-san," I said as I opened the door.

"Bye, Japan."

He walked away. I watched him walk down the hall to his own room. He turned around and glanced down the hallway one more time before opening the door and I quickly closed my door even though I know he saw me watching him. Now he probably thinks I'm a stalker.

Later that night after going for dinner with China, and Hong Kong, I was so tired I practically fell into my bed. I would have rather had my futon at home, but this was good enough. At first I dreamed a dream similar to all the other nights I dream, something involving England. Usually I dream of us as lovers, exactly how I daydream about him when there is nothing better to do. Simply us doing sweet things for each other.

But then, my dream morphed into something less pleasant. A memory, of a horrible day. The termination of our alliance.

I sat there, stunned, not knowing what to do next. Our alliance was over? I saw it coming, yet I didn't. I didn't know I would feel so heartbroken, when it finally happened. I didn't know I would suddenly feel so upset. But then again, I should have. I should have known nothing good would come out of falling in love. Nations tend to stay away from that, if you fall in love with a human, eventually the human will die, and you will be left with nothing. If you fall in love with another nation, war and alliances could tear you apart. Like it was doing for me. Right now.

"So, you don't like me anymore?" What was I saying? That's not what he meant and I knew it. I couldn't control myself.

"What? I never said that! I said, that for both of us, it seems that it would be best if we end this alliance and sign the Four-Power Treaty. Kiku, /I/ want to keep our alliance, it's very nice to have you around her all the time, but my bosses believe that it is necessary for this to change. I'm sorry you thought I didn't like you."

"S-so, we will terminate this alliance and sign the treaty with the other countries?" I didn't want this. I wanted things to stay the way they were, with England almost always by my side. But I knew that wasn't possible.

"Yes, Kiku."

"I-I think it might be best if we called each other by our human names again. Don't you think England-san?"

"Oh... Um yes that's probably for the best."

I didn't cry until I got home. But when I did, I cried for a very long time.

Someone was knocking on my door. I looked and saw it was seven in the morning. I went over to the door and opened it.

"Oh, hello China. What are you doing here, the last meeting doesn't start for two hours," I said, when I saw China at the door.

"I was just checking on you, usually you are up by now, and I didn't see you in the breakfast room so I was wondering if there was something wrong, aru," he said.

"Oh, I'm not feeling well, I think I am going to try to sleep for another hour before getting ready for the meeting."

"Alright then. I'll leave you alone to do that."

I needed a good dream after that nightmare. Whenever I have nightmares I always think of a certain memory that cheers me up. I laid back down on the bed and closed my eyes.

"Japan, I thought that now that we are in an alliance, I would come visit you. So, here I am," England said after I opened the door. He shoved a box of cookies into my hands as he talked. I looked at them warily, most of the people I have ever talked to about his cooking had told me to beware.

"No I didn't make them myself," he sighed, when he saw my glance at the cookies in my hands.

"Alright," I smiled. "Why don't you come in?"

We ended up just spending the whole day talking, about who knows what, all I remember was one small part of the conversation.

"England-san-" England held up a hand and shook his head.

"Call me Arthur."

"What?"

"That's my human name. Arthur Kirkland. Call me that."

"Oh... Alright. Asa you can call me Kiku. My human name is Kiku Honda."

"Asa?"

"It's 'Arthur' in Japanese."

"Oh... What does Kiku mean?"

"Chrysanthemum."

"That's a bit long, I think I will stick with Kiku."

"Alright. I can call you Arthur if you would rather it be in your own language."

"You can call me whatever you want, Kiku."

I woke up to see that it was eight-thirty. I slept a little too late. No breakfast for me. I guess I should have just started to get ready when China came to check on me.

I made it to the meeting just in time. I wasn't early, like I usually am, but I wasn't late either. This meeting was just like all the others. All the bosses went to one side of the room and talked, and all the nations sat on the other side of the room and stared off into space. I did the same thing I had been doing through all of the meetings, occasionally glancing across the table at England, and imagining what it would be like if I were allowed to touch him, hug him, do so many things to him. Except this time England seemed to be watching me back. Once he caught my eye, and I blushed like a tomato. I didn't look back at him for the rest of the meeting, out of embarrassment.

But after the meeting, when I was in my room, he came to see me.

"H-hello England-san. What do you need?"

"I have decided, that there is something I need to tell you."

"Um, ok. What is that England-san?"

"I ...uh... Well," he blushed and scratched the back of his head.

"England-san?"

He grabbed my shirt and kissed me. I could feel my face turning to fire, and my eyes widened before I closed them and started to react. But before I could start kissing him back, like I had been dreaming about for so long, he pushed me away and slammed the door in my face. I heard him yell something along the lines of: "I'm sorry! That was so stupid," and then I heard his footsteps pounding away.

Well. That won't do will it? Kiss and run. I guess I'll have to go confess. After so long, I am finally going to confess. Over a hundred years. Everything is about to change. But maybe change is good. I don't think that spending over a hundred years daydreaming is healthy. Actually I know so. If you spend all your time daydreaming, you end up doing nothing but watch from afar, and you need to find a lot of courage to finally do something.

So now things will finally change. My daydreams won't be forbidden, they will know what it's like, and be remembering it instead of imagining. I think that's a lot better. I'm glad that I finally get to end all the longing.

I ran down the hall to England's room. Knocking on the door, I could already feel my face heating up again. When he opened the door, I did exactly what he had just done to me. I grabbed his shirt and kissed him. When we parted, he looked stunned.

"Do you know how long I've wanted that to happen?" I asked.

"N-no..."

"A hundred years. Ever since that night on the hill, when we first agreed to ally, I have wanted you to kiss me. And for me to be able to tell you that I love you."

"Really?"

"Really."

"I have wanted this to happen, for almost that long. In the middle of our alliance, I realised what was going on. But, I had never thought you would feel this way too. Finally I just decided to take the chance. But really, I failed. I couldn't even stay long enough to see your reaction..."

"That's alright. It was exactly what I needed to finally tell the truth. It was a pretty big push though. More like I failed. I sat there, daydreaming about you for a hundred years."

"I don't mind. That means you have never given up on me, and probably never will."