Author's Note:
So I've been seeing lots of User Manuals about their favorite character here in fanfiction(dot)net so I figured I'd make one about Ron Weasley :D
Reviews would be really awesome.
Enjoy!
Ron Weasley: User Guide Manual
Introduction:
The Ron Weasley unit is for everyone and anyone who wants to use him for fun, work or for no reason at all. The RW (Ron Weasley) unit has one hell of a growth-spurt meaning he grows fast than you can imagine. You can say he's a "lady's man" so this unit is perfect for any woman attracted to his...species.
Unpacking your unit:
Be sure to be careful when unpacking the RW unit. When bumping his head, arm, leg or any other part of his body, he will tend to swear like a sailor.
CAUTION: Do not bump his You-Know-What or the RW unit will explode without further ado/warning. This goes especially for the ladies.
Mood settings:
The RW unit comes in different moods:
-Blank/neutral (default)
-Chagrined/embarrassed (most likely)
-Pissed
-Excited/enthusiastic
-Panicking
-Bipolar/sad/crying
-Emotional
The blank/neutral expression is the default mood setting because the RW unit, as you know, is a Weasley. And as a Weasley, they try to look like they're cool with everything. And that results to a neutral look.
Chagrined/embarrassed is a "most likely" mood to happen. The RW unit is easy to insult and easy for itself to be embarrassed especially by the Draco Malfoy unit.
The pissed mood can happen once in a while especially when done by the Harry Potter unit. The RW unit is lost and insecure when he thinks that his best buddy, the Harry Potter unit, is not telling him things. This results to ignorance.
Excited/enthusiastic happens whenever there's a new adventure coming up and he wants to do some action. This mood can be caused by the Harry and Hermione unit.
Panicking emotion will be shown when he's stuck in trouble during an adventure with the Harry and Hermione unit. Panic = lots of screaming. This is a warning for those who have sensitive ears.
The less likely mood to occur to the RW unit is being bipolar. He's never been depressed before and never once had he cried. We can tell that from this, the RW unit is a tough one. This is a plus for the ladies – like the Lavender Brown unit – who are after him.
Emotional can once in a while show upon the RW unit's face. This can be caused – and mostly – by the Hermione Granger unit.
Getting to know the RW unit:
Now that you're a proud owner of the RW unit, let's get to know the unit more.
The Ron Weasley unit belongs to the Weasley family – obviously – where he has 5 brothers (named the Bill, Charlie, Fred, George and Percy unit) and 1 sister called the Ginny unit.
On his first year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, he developed a hatred for the Draco and Hermione unit and always was stuck to the Harry Potter unit like they were both gay, for that matter.
His father, the Arthur Weasley unit, is a poor man who works in the Ministry of Magic for nothing. But don't worry ladies. Who cares about wealth? I'm sure it must be a great honeymoon sleeping on the streets once you get close with the RW unit.
But, unfortunately, he married the Hermione Granger unit in which they had 2 kids named Rose and Hugo (seriously, who names their kid Hugo?). I don't know where they get the money to raise their children but the Hermione unit is one lucky unit!
The RW unit commands:
The RW unit can follow your commands. Here is the list on the things he can actually do:
Heartbreaker – the RW unit can be a real heartbreaker. If you want to break up with your girlfriend/boyfriend, he's the right man for the job. He's known in Hogwarts for breaking up with girl units – or should I say unit?
Excuser/faker – the RW unit is a good excuser/faker meaning that he could make up excuses that will make people actually believe. If you want to excuse yourself from school by faking a sickness, etc, he's the right person to call. Recently, he's been spotted faking spattergroit just to do a mission with the Harry and Hermione unit.
Massive gluttony – this unit is known for eating half of the food of the table in the Great Hall of Hogwarts. If you need help finishing off icky food you don't like to eat, the RW unit will gladly finish it off for you.
Wand-breaker – if you want your enemy's wand to snap into half or get crushed so that the enemy won't have a chance of fighting back, the RW unit will do it for you. Just a few years ago he broke a wand – or was it his wand?
Gossiper – this man is like our own personal Gossip Girl, but for this matter we should call him Gossip Boy. He's known in Hogwarts for bugging into other people's business. The RW unit wants to know everything because of his insecurity. And he has a good plan into getting the gossip he so desperately wants. So if you're insecure like the RW unit and want to know something, your unit will be happy to serve you, as long as he knows the gossip too!
Offender – he can crack up insults especially to the Draco Malfoy unit. If you need someone to fight battles for you, or help you with some insults, then the RW unit will brainstorm freshly baked insults for your enemy. But beware. He can – often – get a bit corny at them. He's known in Hogwarts for being the worst offender ever.
The RW unit accessories:
Once you get your RW unit, it comes with the following accessories:
-A Gryffindor Prefect badge
-A magic wand
-A broken wand
-A broomstick
-Posters of the Quidditch team, "Chudley Cannons"
-Complete set of black robes (comes with hats)
-Old dress robes
-"My Sweetheart" necklace from the Lavender Brown unit
-Gryffindor Quidditch uniform
-Whole sets of textbooks (from Year 1-6)
-Chocolate Frog cards
-Sneakoscope
-Pigwidgeon (mini-owl from the Sirius Black unit)
CAUTION: When handling any of these accessories, please do it with care. Any scratch, rip, bend, stain, etc., on any of these will make the RW unit – automatically – set to Pissed mood.
Frequently Asked Questions about the RW unit:
Q: Ever since I bought the RW unit, the food in my fridge disappears all of a sudden. Is there some jinx beneath the unit?
A: No, there's no jinx in the RW unit. When it was made, we tested and guaranteed that there's no glitch in the unit. But the food disappearing in your fridge is a common problem. You see, the RW unit is a glutton and likes to eat everything he sets his eyes upon. So if he eats your food everyday...I'm afraid you might have to starve for awhile. I consider having another fridge of food for the RW unit, itself.
Q: I brought the RW unit to my prom as a date since nobody asked me out. Since the introduction said the unit was known to be a "lady's man", how come nobody looked jealous at me and the unit?
A: He is a lady's man in his own way. But I discourage women to bring him to proms/balls, etc., because he will automatically switch to the Bipolar mood setting.
Q: My RW unit goes home with the Chagrined mood setting. Why is that?
A: The only person that has every made him switched to Chagrined mood is the Draco Malfoy unit. If you're concerned with the way your unit is being treated, I consider you buy the Hermione Granger unit to be alongside him. The Hermione unit is known for defending the RW unit in lots of ways, especially with a brain like hers.
Q: Sometimes, my unit will be in the Excited mood setting and I don't know what makes him like that. My unit refuses to eat whenever it's like that. Is there something wrong?
A: No there is nothing wrong. I assume that you need to read the "Mood Settings" section of this user manual. The only thing that makes him like that is the Harry and Hermione unit so I suggest that you leave him alone and let him be jittery until it wears off. But at least you don't need to feed him for a good few weeks.
Troubleshooting:
Just so you know, there are some sudden glitches in the RW unit that has to be fixed manually by the owner. Here are the problems and solutions that can help you:
Problem: The RW unit started barfing out slugs when it went back home from Hogwarts. Is my unit sick?
Solution: I can rest assure you that units do not get sick. It's probably the Draco Malfoy unit that made him barf out slugs. The RW unit tried to hit the DM unit with a curse but it backfired because of the unit's broken wand. The only person who can help with this is the Hagrid or Madam Pomfrey unit. But if not, then the RW unit will be back to normal in 2-3 days depending on how severe the spell shot at him.
Problem: My unit is getting pimples faster than a geek. What should I do?
Solution: This is a common problem with the RW unit. But there's an easy solution. Get some cleansing wash and use it on the unit every night before he sleeps, it will vanish the pimples and will prevent them in a heartbeat.
Problem: The unit, at times, keep on talking about the Harry Potter unit. I'm scared that my unit is gay. Any idea what's going on?
Solution: The RW unit can be talking about the Harry Potter unit at times, but not with affection...with anger. The HP unit is known to make the RW unit pissed off so he might come home with the pissed mood setting. We can't blame the RW unit for being cranky and pubescent, can we?
Customer Satisfaction Guarantee:
We make sure that every customer is happy with the RW unit by trying to perfect the unit to its own accord. Every customer with the RW unit always has a smile on their face. Any broken system of the unit will be fixed quickly by "The Unit Repair Team". We, of course, cannot do anything about the unit's broken You-Know-What. If it's broken, I suggest that you buy a brand-new RW unit for half the price since it's not entirely your fault that the unit exploded. Please keep up-to-date with this user manual, for we update it with new sections/entries. That means this user manual will be handy on your way to new ownership of the RW unit.
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