She was covered in blood, shaking back and forth like a leaf in the wind. She was anything but the smirking girl that had left us only weeks ago, tears spilled over her cheeks.

"I need a place to stay, someone's after me. I'll understand if you say no."

"Come in."

She took shaky steps toward me, red and puffy eyes looking at the dusty floor rather then at me.

I stepped aside, now able to see the blood slipping down the side of her head. I kept my hands to myself as she found the bed and fell into it as if she was never going to wake up again.

"Is she okay?"

"No, Sammy. I don't think she is."

We woke to her screams loud and blood boiling, her nightmare's worse then any we've ever had making her fall back to sleep with a face full of tears.

There she was, still in her old clothes, messy hair and red eyes, looking at me with nothing in her eyes. No strength, no hate, no sorrow, she was nothing, all she felt was nothing.

"You patched me up. Why?"

Her voice was thin and frail, not the strong and biting one that I once had breathing down my neck.

I miss it, I miss her. Hell, I can't even believe it myself.

She placed one of her hands on the bandage that was over the side of her head, we couldn't just leave her to bleed to death.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, no. Why the hell do you care?"

"I just do. What happened?"

Bela, Bela why do I even care? Maybe it hurts it hurts to see the tears that I thought she could never shed, to see her be human when I made it clear that she wasn't.

Just looking at her makes my heart break, but still why do I care?!

"An old enemy tried to get a piece of me and almost did. I-I'm going to tell you not because I want you to know or anything like that, I just want you shut up about it."

She fell into the chair next to me like she had nothing to get up for anymore, nothing to love, nothing at all. Finally she looked right at me, looked right through me like she wasn't there just a ghost of her former self.

"I-It was my sister. Yep there it is, I don't have what you and Sam have, no love just murder. I spilled my family's blood, I killed my father. But I didn't kill him without reason, he wasn't possessed or anything like that, he was himself, his evil self. H-He tried to kill me, knife to the gut, tried to cut me to pieces, just because I didn't believe in his world. His world of demons being the good ones, fallen angels that we needed to kill for, no, no I didn't believe him so therefore I was impure, I was dirty.

My sister believed him with all her heart, she was young and stupid he knew she would believe him, my father was the word to her so she didn't see that he was a monster in sheep's clothing. There you have it, Dean my life story my sad little life. Laugh, I need someone not to care someone to hate me for what I did, because I hate myself."

Her words were strong until the end when her words filled up with sobs and tears making tracks on her cheeks. I wanted to do something, make her feel good, take away her tears for good, but what could I do?

I found my self next to her, her cheeks connecting with my finger tips as I took away her tears. I pulled her to me, hugging away the pain as her whole body shook with tears, grabbing onto me as if I was her only hope.

"I don't hate you, no one hated you, Bela."

Hugging her felt somehow right, somewhat the right thing to do.

Maybe I don't hate her as much as I said, maybe she's me just in a different skin.

Maybe?