Story: Beautifully Broken
(Main) Pairing: Nagihiko/ Rima
(Side) Pairings: Kukai/ Utau, Yaya/Kairi, Amu/ Ikuto, Tadase/ Lulu
Summary: Nagihiko doesn't know much about love. But with thoughts on a cold and passive girl, will he realize love can be painfully broken? ONEshot.
Disclaimer: I do not own Shugo Chara, only Peach Pit does.
When Nagihiko was Nadeshiko, he had a particular mindset. Some of it gained from his mom; by the she way drank in the world, and kept traditions sacred. A little of the mindset he had formed was also from his friends. A lot at, at that time, came from Amu. Portraying a girl, acting like a girl, sounding like a girl…all of that was second nature to him. Acting and playing that part of sliver his life was just a simple blink of the eye. Painful, yet simple. One thing he didn't know was the emotion called love.
He thought he knew. The first person he "loved" was Amu. Getting to know her, and becoming close to her…was the greatest feeling alive. Ecstasy even. The real Amu was entrancing. Her laugh seemed perfect; bubbly and erupting with joy. How easily amused was he when she freaked out by the littlest things, making the moment perfect. Amu's amber eyes always sparkling with kind and genuine feelings.
Everything seemed so…picture perfect.
But.
Things changed.
As he traveled the world with his mom, dropping the Nadeshiko façade…he felt free. To express himself. To be so…free. He could start to find the man already progressing deep inside of him…from this new world of experience, and finally living in the moment. Being a man, he could tell Amu how he felt about her. Or at least, express it any way he could.
It wasn't that easy though.
He should have known.
Nagihiko, being the guy he was, should have realized taking that risk of showing who he truly was, would puncture and possibly destroy a delicate foundation between him and Amu.
Nadeshiko, would be gone and lost forever inside a boy…whose dream hadn't been entirely found.
Walking through the proud gate of Seiyo, and entering the Royal Garden as Nagihiko, was life altering. He almost forgot the clear glass walls, and fine floral surrounding the perimeter. He greeted them all with a smile; the deceiving smile, that had grown so accustomed on his handsome face. He nodded at Tadase easily, yet awkwardly…he was one of the three people who knew his secret after all. Yaya as usual smiled at the "new" individual, and jumped up and down…happy to meet Nadeshiko's so-called "twin brother" with unrestrained enthusiasm. Kukai was there and he just stared at Nagihiko and slight shock but friendliness. When Nagihiko got to Amu she smiled, and questioned him about Nadeshiko which hardened his heart a little. If only he could tell her…
The only face he didn't recognize was a girl with a cheery, clown chara. Her hair was a sandy-blonde color, cascading down her back with loose curls. While her chara was bright and bubbly, greeting Nagihiko warmly…she was otherwise; letting off a cold and passive nature. And her eyes…they were so greatly controlled that he could only stare. Beneath that barrier held emotion that he could only see, or in that case, try to figure out over time.
He tried to be nice.
A gentleman.
But, she always seemed wary of him. Afraid perhaps?
Every time he would call out her name or offer assistance she would turn her head uninterestedly and cast him aside, as if he were an annoyance never receding. Or when she would walk into the halls and see him conversing with Amu, she would glare at him heavily and cling to Amu childishly while Amu laughed; nervously and slightly concerned.
He had to admit, it hurt. The way she cast him aside, or waved him off as if a slave ready to ordered around was aggrivating. They argued constantly which worried the other guardians constantly. Sometimes Tadase would talk to him secretively and ask what was going on, while he could only shrug. He didn't even know.
In all that time with the guardians, he felt his hope descending. He was going nowhere with Amu; only gaining respect and the occasional laugh or giggle that led to a deep discussion. While sometimes, he would walk out of the school's gates and see Amu blushing as Tadase took her soft, gentle hand in his shyly.
Later on in the semester, he began to see his mindset change. Those thoughts of Amu, wound deep in his mind, began to unravel and disappear; some days, more drastically then others. Watching Amu, blush as she took Tadase's hand, didn't bother him as much as it used to. The way her eyes lit up when she spoke of Ikuto, didn't hurt him as much. Or, the way she got closer to the Queen and barely discussed Nadeshiko as often, didn't have such an impact anymore.
His thoughts, and feelings, began to feature the "Ice Queen". She intrigued him in such a way that it scared him. Her character was so flawed yet so…undeniably perfect. She was so beautifully broken. The way she held herself with dignity when she was with the guardians, but slouched as she stood in a darkened corner of the school's hallway interested him.
Her past. Her life right now, reflected the way she was. From her selfish character he automatically knew something. If you have a selfish character that usually means that you want something.
Attention.
Love.
Boys.
To her though, those things didn't seem sufficient enough.
Towards, the halfway of the semester, he began to question was love truly was.
He loved his mom and dad…when his father was there. But that was something different entirely; children already had love nestled deep inside of them towards their parents from instinct that their parents would love them, and take care of them according to their standards. That was love, according to family and maternal feelings. Nothing more, nothing less.
But the love he was wondering about, seemed almost perpendicular to that. Was love perhaps…lust? The way you instantly felt pulled to that individual before you could figure out why? The charisma, or looks, enchanting your whole being?
He had yet to find that answer.
He thought he loved Amu but soon realized it was merely something indifferent. Maybe it was being Nadeshiko, and knowing Amu that way, that he felt "love" towards the sakura-haired girl. Maybe it was friendship taken the wrong perspective. Now, as Nagihiko, not Nadeshiko, true ideals had come into place.
Then he realized something.
If you're questioning yourself why and how you loved that person, you already know the answer. You either, never really loved that person or your feelings had changed.
This had happened to Nagihiko.
Amu's bubbly laugh had been replaced with a soft, melodious laugh by a blonde girl. Amu's freaked out character had been laid over by uninterested pride. Amu's smile could never compare to one of the rare, distinct smiles of the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.
He inevitably fell in love with Mashiro Rima.
At first, he thought he was hallucinating. Rima…no it couldn't be her. The girl who looked boldly into his eyes and said things that chastely cut to the point of the matter.
After a while, he began to accept what he was feeling...to a point. Soon enough, he saw changes in the little blonde girl as well when they spent more time together. She didn't look into his eyes with disrespect anymore, but now…an infinite curiosity. She didn't wave him off anymore, and actually had a few decent conversations with him. One time, he asked her why she was acting this way towards him, but she turned her head away stubbornly and blushed a little saying, "Amu said I had to…"
Which he gullibly believed until Rhythm got born. This happened to be, more troublesome than the bipolar girl he was dealing with on-and-off everyday. When Rima found out his secret she seemed to separate herself away from him again…which he found slightly irritating.
Teasing started to happen and arguments took place once again. Every time she would bring up cross-dressing, or gender insults he would get nervous and look over at Tadase for guidance, which the King could only smile weakly and shrug the issue off.
But that one day when he found Rima, curled up in a ball, staring up at a Sakura tree which blooms were not opened yet changed their view on each other. He looked over at Rhythm and Temari, but soon ran towards her with his deceiving, cheery smile. She shrugged him off easily and he felt hurt once again. Once she mentioned him going to Nadeshiko mode, which he did, Rima began to feel more comfortable around the boy. They spent the whole day together at the carnival, taking care of Tsubasa. At the last few minutes they spent together, she told Nagihiko her past, not Nadeshiko. It surprised him but he kept listening. As she finished her story, telling him she wouldn't cry he touched her cheek and something passed between them. Her eyes widened and her breath became short and more ragged then before; her cheeks turning pleasantly pink. He just looked at her and they stayed that way, until he began to cup her cheek again.
That moment in their lives, changed his mindset forever.
Rima, the girl who had been hesitant to him, suddenly became warm.
When he finally told Amu that he was Nadeshiko, thanks to Rima, he felt relieved; as if a heavy weight were coming off his shoulders.
Time went on, and he went on another dancing expedition with his mom…he thought that was the right decision at the time, but now…he wasn't sure.
When he came back, it seemed things had changed in Seiyo. He was older, and in that time in his life, he felt ready for anything. It was eighth grade, what could be so wrong about that? He started to notice a change when Rima greeted him with a false smile and conflicted emotion in her eyes. Amu was still happy but worried about Ikuto and how he was fairing. Tadase had grown to look more mature in stature and wisdom; growing out of the prince into the King. Everyone still had their chara's and it seemed like things were getting back on track.
More years passed and Nagihiko began to feel an odd yearning in his chest. Being in high school, he had changed. He was still a fine gentleman, but Rhythm was getting to him more…especially concerning Rima.
One time, he was walking back from school with his bag slung over his shoulder and he looked around him fondly. A new generation of kids were playing in the playground as the sun set over them prettily. His expensive rubber shoes, echoed along the streets while the leaves of the trees rustled in the wind.
Rhythm and Temari were discussing another dance rehearsal when he heard a soft voice call out,
"Nagihiko!"
He paused and glanced over at his chara's questionably. Temari giggled while Rhythm sent him a knowing glance. Turning around he saw Rima, walking towards him with Kusukusu afloat next to her. Her light brown eyes were bright and her golden hair, swirled around her…one with the wind.
When she got to him, they just looked at each other. He smiled slightly as her cheeks lit up with that familiar pink taint, on her high cheekbones.
"Yes, Rima-chan?" he asked, with a teasing tone…leaning closer to her with a play boyish grin.
She blushed and turned her gaze away stubbornly, earning a chuckle from the boy. "Since Amu couldn't walk with me today, I figured you were the only other option," she said, glancing up at him again. He raised his eyebrows surprisingly and she frowned. "Do you have a problem with that cross-dresser?"
"No," he said shortly, ignoring her hinted insult. He challenged her gaze but she didn't let it drop. As he began to walk away, down the path she asked, "Why are you leaving then?"
He kept walking, but turned back to look at her with a wink. "You said we were going right?"
She shook her head, and quickly caught up with him. Walking for a little while in silence Rima said, "You know…Nagihiko," looking over at him from the corner of her eye.
"Mhmm…" he replied.
"You don't have to say Rima-chan anymore, we're not little kids," she said, while his gaze softened considerably; his eyes full of that warmth that made her feel warm. "Just call me Rima from now on."
"OK," he shrugged. "Rima it is then."
That was another development from them, which got him surprised and pleased. They had a pretty stable friendship now, but at times it still wavered because of her independent character. But now, it seemed that things were changing too.
A few weeks later Amu called all of her friends and suggested they go out since Ikuto was visiting. Utau quickly agreed, as did Kukai with a friendly laugh. Yaya squealed while Kairi said a formal response, slightly freaking out Amu. Nagihiko complied cheerfully while Rima muttered a blatant response. After Amu named the restaurant and the accommodations, she said for them to meet at the park so they could all walk there together.
When Nagihiko showed up with his infamous outfit of tight jeans, expensive shoes, a white turtleneck and a brown, leather jacket he saw no one else. The sky was amazing with a variation of pink and orange hues because it was the sunset. He waited for a little bit, then started to get nervous. Knowing he had been waiting for over an hour, he got up from the bench and looked at the now darkened sky. Just as he was about to leave he saw Rima walking towards him. Her hair was pulled up, and she wore a mid-thigh blue dress with a white sweater, black heels and silver purse.
"Where is everyone?" she asked him, when she just got to him.
He shrugged and put his arms behind his head, looking up at the stars while they started to walk. "I have no idea…I think they got the dates confused or something." Then he glanced over at her with a smile.
"What?" she asked.
"You want to get something to eat?" he asked, nodding towards at Taiyaki stand not too far away. It let off a sweet-smelling aroma, wafting towards them. "It's not much but," he said shrugging a little, "It's something to fill you momentarily."
She considered it, and looked up at him with a rare smile. "Sure."
As they sat down on chairs, later on, eating the tasty snack, he scooted over his chair a little; their proximity at least a foot apart. She didn't seem to mind, oblivious to why he would do it anyway.
From then on, that place was theirs.
Over the next few months they began to meet their constantly, just talking or observing the things around them. He began to find himself bolder, especially when he character changed constantly with Rhythm. When they sat at the table, he found the distance between them shorter as their bodies leaned towards one another. Sometimes, he would lean across the table and tease her…wanting to see her blush; for whatever reason that would be.
Sometimes their friends joined them in the same spot but it wasn't the same. Amu may have been Rima's best friend, but she was pretty dense when it came to the two. Kukai started to catch on, but he let it go…wondering how events would catch up with the previous Jack and Queen chair. Utau would tease but Nagihiko would let it go, while Rima would glance down shyly. Over the years, Rima had grown close to the idol so Utau understood what was going on, eventually stopping. Yaya would always say their mood was "nice", but since she said that with a lot of people, it didn't add that much meaning.
Soon enough, senior year snook up on them and Nagihiko made his decision. He would tell Rima his feelings, no matter what the consequences…hoping she would accept them.
It was late one evening as he walked towards Rima's house nervously. He kept running a hand through his violet hair and licking his lips. Seeing her house coming up, he took a deep breath and walked to it knocking on the door bravely.
At first no one answered. He thought no one was there because all the lights were out in the house. Raising his hand to knock again, on the rough, wooden door he stopped when he saw the door creak open…light creeping out from the house.
He looked down and saw Rima, her eyes slightly tired. Her bangs were pulled back and she looked at him, not quite registering what she was seeing. But then she blinked, and rubbed her eyes, one hand left on the door.
"Nagihiko?" she asked, cocking her head to the side innocently. "What are you doing here?"
"Um…" he said, racking his head for anything to say. He rubbed his head nervously, and laughed awkwardly, closing his eyes with that faux smile; the other hand on his hip. "Could I come in Rima? I need to talk to you about something."
She shrugged and opened the door, letting him in the dark house. As he walked in, he quickly took off his shoes and looked around the house. It looked empty and felt empty with a fierce intensity; he didn't know how Rima could live in this atmosphere for so long.
Looking at him she led him to the kitchen, and she turned on the lights. She pointed to a chair and he sat eagerly, waiting for her to offer him something.
"Want anything?" she mumbled, opening the fridge.
"Water would be nice," he said, gulping a little. As she prepared him a cup of water he looked around with curious eyes. This was the first time he had been in her house, invited, without guardian work involved.
As she set the ice water in front of him he looked up at her, and leaned towards her with that boyish grin. Her cheeks heated up as he whispered, "Thank you Rima."
Jumping out of her trance, she walked away from him, towards the fridge and said, "What did you want to talk about Nagihiko? My mom is out working late, so I don't know when she's coming back."
When she turned to look at him with her famous glare he took a sip of water, and set the cup down; a little water sloshing over the side of the cup. "Do you…do you like me Rima?"
Her eyes widened and she gripped the counter behind her. The air around them began to grow intimate and he looked at her intensely; full of such seriousness that it scared her. He couldn't possibly be…
"What…What do you mean by like?" she asked, her voice hitching a little at the end.
He groaned. "What I mean is…as in, more of a friend," he informed, standing up and walking towards her; he saw a flash of something in her eyes but it disappeared quickly. He stopped walking when he got a little more than a foot away from her, almost towering over the petite girl. "Because Rima…" he said, softly, leaning towards her, his ocher eyes sprouting rare feeling. "I love you."
She let out a gasp, and her lips started to tremble. Her eyes widened even further and filled with fresh, crystalline tears…starting to run down her cheeks. But then, she looked down unexpectedly; her hair creating a shadow over her face.
It got even tenser, and her silence lapsed heavily. "Nagihiko…can you leave? It's getting late and I feel my mom will barge in any minute now."
"Rima," he said, reaching towards her shoulder. But then she slapped away his hand and his eyes widened. She looked up, tears coming faster and heavier down her face.
"Please…" she whispered pathetically.
He nodded curtly, and walked out of the kitchen, out of the house, and started to run towards home. He could have sworn that all that time spent with Rima had led him to believe she felt the same. The way her eyes held a light reserved to only him when she smiled, or when she laughed cutely. He didn't get it. He didn't see why Rima would react that way…but when he got to his house, greeting his mom and walking to his room, he began to think. The way she was now, a lot had to do with her parents. The issues that got between them and the family…when Rima thought of love, she probably thought it couldn't be successful, or lead to good things. Her mindset about love, and its fate, rested upon her parents issues.
The next day as he walked into the school, quickly greeted by Tadase and Kairi…he felt different. They stood outside the school talking, waiting for the rest of their friends to come. Soon enough Rima and Amu came walking through the gates; Amu was talking and laughing while Rima nodded, not entirely paying attention.
When Rima looked up and saw Nagihiko's gaze on her, her eyes widened and she looked away quickly. Amu noticed this and began to inquire about what was happening; Rima dismissed it and said she'd talk to her about it later. Yaya quickly caught up to them and linked her arms to theirs. As the group talked Nagihiko kept trying to get Rima's gaze but she avoided it purposefully.
Feeling awkward she said, "I'll catch up with you guys later," turning and walking away towards the school. They all watched as the girl walked away, her head bent while Kusukusu swirled around her, concerned.
It suddenly got tense and Tadase glanced over at the Fujisaki boy, worried.
It went on like this for several weeks. Rima and Nagihiko no longer talked, even if they were in the same class. When the group hung out they wouldn't look at each other, but only participate in group discussions.
The ex-guardians realized what was happening and would only look at the two with concerned glances. Even Yaya was quiet.
Nagihiko, who had gotten sick with the constant repetition of coldness from Rima, decided to do something about it. When he saw her walking home alone, he smiled to himself.
Jogging up to her, his violet tresses moving fluently with him, she looked up, her eyes widening; but then she looked down taking calm breaths.
"Rima-chan," he said.
She glanced back and felt a slight pang. She thought she told the boy to call her Rima. But since it had been so long…she could understand why he would add the honorific now...for safeness.
"Fujisaki," she acknowledged softly. He frowned, and quickly caught up to her. They continued to walk, a soft breeze whirling their long hair and making it mingle.
"Rima-chan, we need to talk," he said seriously, and she paused. She didn't look at him but she didn't say anything snarky either. They stood there in the middle of the street, while a few people walking around them threw them curious looks.
He just looked at her while she stared at the ground. Their chara's, noticing the moment, flew off absentmindly…as long as they were far away they were fine.
"Rima-chan…" he said, while his eyes saddened. When she still didn't look up he continued, "I know what I said that moment was…uncalled for. I…I'm sorry you felt offended, for what I said, really, I am…can we get past that and become friends again?"
"I was scared," she said softly, but he could make out what she was saying. Barely. "I still am. What you said…it was surprising. My whole life, I had thought love was just a useless feeling. Full of emotion that would soon become an empty void. But-"she hiccuped, and he realized she was crying. "-the way you said that…made me want to believe you. Because…I also…" She trailed off and looked up in his eyes that were so warm and open, reaching out to her. "Love you to…" she whispered, but he heard it. Scarcely.
They stared at each other then smiled a little, the tense feeling with them before melting away with the warmth of their gazes.
"Fujisaki?" she asked seriously, but her eyes were full of amusement.
"Yes?" he asked.
"Don't call me Rima-chan anymore," she said, with that rare, distinct, beautiful smile. "And I won't call you Fujisaki."
He chuckled. "Mhmm…sounds good to me."
They continued to walk, and he reached over taking her small, child-like hand into his. She tensed at first, but soon laced her fingers with his, pressing her small palm to his big one. The silence was between them was comfortable, and that's all that mattered; their bodies silhouetted in the sun and nature all around them.
After that, things started to change. They met up at the Taiyaki place every night, and talked as they used to before; getting used to one another again. Ikuto came back for good, and Tadase smiled as he saw Amu embrace the cat-like man affectionately. The king's time with the joker, was officially done. Kukai proposed to Utau in a way, which kept Utau laughing. She told the story of what happened, and they all smiled while Kukai rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. Kairi finally confessed to Yaya, and she did the same…their relationship always based on the moral, "There's a time for laughing, seriousness, and peace…" Tadase finding him the only one alone, got in contact with Lulu and they started out a delicate friendship, soon to evolve to more.
Treasured memories began to store in them all, as time and life passed on.
One night, at the end of senior year, Nagihiko and Rima sat on a hill looking up at the stars. The sky was made up of a dark midnight blue, while bright, yellow stars winked down at them. Rima had her arms around her legs, as she brought them to her chest, looking up at the stars. Nagihiko had his arms encased around her slender waist, as he spread his long, legs around her; his eyes focused on the stars as well.
"Rima?" he asked, turning to look at her with a delicate smile.
"Mhmm," she mumbled coherently. She turned to look at him, and he touched her cheek lovingly, leaning in. She closed her eyes, grabbed his shirt, and pulled her lips to his in a tender, warm kiss. As they continued to kiss, Nagihiko thought back of what he thought about this girl, years before.
Stubborn.
Passive.
Slightly cold.
But with a warmth, that brought all those things into an appropriate place inside of her.
Rima wasn't perfect, but she was beautifully broken. And to him, that's all that mattered.
Fin
A/N: How was it? Hopefully it was good...but if you spot anything you want to critique on, so be it! This is my first time in the Shugo Chara category, so please, tell me your thoughts on this ONEshot.