"Promise me you'll never do that?" Max mused, his fingers slipping gently through Zoe's hair as she sat between his outstretched legs on the sofa.
"Hmmm?" She raised an eyebrow at him in response.
"Run off… you know, like Cal's girlfriend, whatshername did"
"What with your money?" She scoffed back at him, earning herself a gentle elbow in the ribs.
"I don't care about my money. Anyway, I'm being serious. Well, kind of…."
"Maax" she spoke gently, she wanted to show him how much he meant to her
"I'm so in love with you. I'm sorry that I haven't told you before…. I'm not very good at that sort of thing…" As she tailed off, she felt his fingers slow in her hair, she looked up, allowing her eyes to meet his. He wasn't smiling exactly, but his face was so gentle, kind and proud.
"Can we go to bed?" She asked him, slapping him gently in response to the grin that flooded his face. "I want to talk to you, properly."
He smiled in silent agreement and led the way to her room, the room that had slowly become a definite 'theirs'. She smiled at the traces of him that were around; his jumper lying on the floor, his toothbrush on the bedside cabinet.
Max lay on the bed, under the blue and purple striped duvet and held his arms out wide to her. Instead of clinging to them as she so desperately wanted, she crawled under the duvet next to him and curled herself up.
"What's wrong?" He couldn't understand what was up; what they needed to talk about, and suddenly his mind and heart filled with all kinds of worries.
Zoe lay for a while, eyes closed, gathering her thoughts. She loved him, she really did. And that's why she had to be honest with him – help build an 'adult' relationship. The thought terrified her, but losing his was even worse.
"I'm scared." She took a deep breath and continued. "Scared that it won't be me leaving you, but that you'll wake up one day and want someone younger, someone fun, someone who can…."
"Nooo" he breathed. "No, Zo. I want you, only you. You are fun, you're everything to me, and your age doesn't matter. Makes you wiser. Remember?!" He asked, referring to a previous conversation.
She nodded, he hadn't picked up on the last bit of her whispery speech. "But, Max. I can't have children. I can't give you the life that you deserve. A few weeks ago, I had a dream. A dream that you were going to propose to me. I want that so much, I really do, but I can't. It wouldn't be fair".
She was crying now, tears running down her face, smudging her mascara and turning the white pillow grey. "Hey." Max turned her over so that she was facing him. She didn't have the strength to protest and buried her face in his chest, sobbing now. Huge, racking sobs that made Max's heart strain and Zoe's throat hurt.
He didn't try to stop her. He was glad, in a weird way, that she was sharing this painful moment with him. He was glad that she'd been honest with him and that he was there to comfort her.
While she was in his big, strong arms she felt like nothing could hurt her, nothing mattered, but it didn't stop the niggling feeling in the back of her mind that one day, not matter how much he protested, one day, he would want children. And so would she.
"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry". She told him, over and over. She was grateful for the large hand stroking her back, grateful that he hadn't run off.
"Hey. Look at me." He told her, tilting her chin. "You have nothing to be sorry for, OK. I still love you. I still want you, and whether or not we have children, that's not gonna change". He kissed the top of her nose in assurance.
She nodded her head dutifully, and Max thought she'd never looked more beautiful.
"By the way, thank you for that chocolate" She remembered. "So much better than salad!"
"Yeah, well, you know me, always knowing you" He told her
"What?"
"I know you. I get you, I understand what makes you tick, what makes you happy, what makes you sad. I don't know how you knew about my proposal, but, hey"
He smiled down at her, her own tear-stained face now looking back up at him. He moved his lips down to take hers, a deep, sensual kiss that said everything he needed to. That it had been OK, it is OK and it will be OK.
He hugged her close, realising that her eyes were shut and her breathing gentle and relaxed. She'd gone to sleep in his arms and he made a silent promise, as he kissed her on the forehead that he wasn't going to let her go; he would hug her tight until the morning.
Hope you enjoyed! Not sure if I should carry on or not...