AN: A new year, a new story!

Has anyone else noticed that Yuuko never talks about Watanuki actually dieing? She says he will 'vanish forever' or something similar. Now I know it's translated and in Japanese it could all be one and the same, but what if Watanuki couldn't die? What if he'd just . . . vanish?

Pairings: NOT DouWata. Not WatanukiXHimawari. Just no. No WatanukiX anybody, actually. This is friendship only, except for a light smattering of ClowXYuuko I threw in because I'm evil that way.

Warnings: Extreme angst, character deaths. Possible attempted suicide in future chapters (if they ever decide to exist), I know that's a touchy subject for many.

Disclaimer: If I owned XXXholic, it would never get beyond the first chapter. So let's be glad I don't, ne?

Vanished

by Ueste

Prologue: The Charm

"Watanuki-kun--"

No

"Watanuki-kun, Watanuki-kun!" The twins chorused.

Stop, Please!

Watanuki pressed his hands over his ears, trying to block out the name. No, that wasn't his name, she had never called him that before, only Himawari-chan had --

Oh, God.

Himawari-chan laughing with him, her smile's radiance blinding him.

Himawari-chan trying out his bento, clapping her hands together happily at the taste.

Himawari-chan worried over Doumeki.

"Watanuki-kun -- "

"Don't call me that." His voice sounded dead. The pale skin of his hands before him looked dead. He felt dead. Oh, God, why wasn't he dead.

The pain across his face made him look up. Yuuko stood in front of him, a fan open in her hand. The ends of the frame were tinged red. Watanuki raised a hand to his cheek, and it came away bloody.

Yuuko didn't explain the slap. It was enough to get Watanuki's attention.

"You still owe him Watanuki," She said.

"Yuuko-san, please. Let me join them, let me see them again!"

"You can't die, Watanuki-kun. Your soul will never pass onto the far plane. You cannot join them, you would only vanish.

"Make me vanish then, Yuuko, please! I don't want this anymore!"

"I can't"

"I don't care who's paid the price, it's my life, if I want to vanish, it's my wish. You must grant it!"

"Putting aside the fact that I will never take the weight of taking your life, there is an imbalance. You still owe him."

He didn't think he could take him bentos anymore.

Their last lunch, Domeki shoveling food, Himiwari-chan laughing when Watanuki got mad.

"Watanuki-kun and Doumeki-kun are such good friends!"

Watanuki had long before stopped bothering to wipe away the tears pouring down his face. Yuuko's face was blurry before him.

"One as pure as he will not stay dead for long, Watanuki-kun."

It took a moment for the boy to process this statement, and when he did the hope in his eyes made Yuuko want to cry. She had not cried in a very long time.

"Reincarnation does not work that way. Even if his spirit is reborn, it will not be Doumeki-kun that you repay your debt to." Oh, she knew that far too well.

Watanuki watched floor as another salty drop fell on the dead wood. His voice seemed to have hidden in the walls of his throat, words coming out slowly and bloodily.

"How . . . can I?"

Yuuko held up a small object.

Doumeki, standing exhausted, waiting for him. Handing Yuuko a charm as payment for her help. Ignoring Watanuki's protests.

"Your price?"

"All that you have left."

Watanuki unhesitatingly touched the small charm. He had nothing left that he wanted.

Yuuko stayed silent as her assistant's body vanished away in a swirl of the charm's magic. She carefully wrapped the new spirit-vessel in a warded cloth. Mokona would deliver it to the Doumeki temple.

. . .V a N I s h E D . . .

She lay back on the porch, looking up at this world's stars. "Those children . . . they're failing, Clow. He is winning, Hitsuzen has turned." The stars were unaccountably blurry, so she shifted her gaze to the bottom of her sake glass. "I'll becoming to join you soon, Clow."

It was a lie. Just like it had been a lie when they'd first kissed. It had been a lie when she said she was his. A lie when he pronounced them soul mates. When he'd said he'd wait for her.

When she told him he wouldn't have to wait long.

Lies. Because the worlds would always need a Dimension Witch, and Clow could never read his own damn human heart.

AN: One of my best, if I do say so myself, so now is your chance to review and tell me just how wrong I am! Please?

I have plans for other chapters, but I'm horrible when it comes to writing multi-chapter fics. Consider this a one-shot for now.