(AN Hello there TimeLordMaster108 here with the first chapter of my prequal triology, the first story is Basicaly the original Stewie And The Fat Woman but with some added things and this story will be a Full on musical, also I apologise deeply for the delay, also warning the first chapter contains three musical numbers, Disclaimer I don't own Family Guy or it's characters they are property of 20TH Centuary Fox and Fuzzy Door Productions, I also don't own the OCs Helen or Dave Parks they are owned by LozzaDozza89.)
Chapter 1 Harmless Fun?
It was a typical Saturday afternoon in Quahog Rhode Island and the Griffins were preparing to head to the mall due to the fact that Chris recently ruined his shoes because he thought they would make better bike breaks and while everyone was slightly annoyed at having to go shopping on a Saturday Lois was in an extreamly good mood as Lois was doing some dusting she couldn't help but burst into song while dancing.
(AN first song parody is the Snow Miser Song from The Year Without A Santa Clause.)
Lois: I'm Mrs nice lady, I'm Mrs sane
I'm Mrs loving wife, I'm Mrs caring mum
Friends call me Lois and I'll always be there
To protect my kids from harm
I'm to much.
the rest of the family began to sing as Lois spun around.
The others: She's Mrs nice lady, she's Mrs sane
Lois: That's Right
The others: She's Mrs Loving wife she's Mrs Carring Mum.
Lois: Friends call me Lois and I'll always be there.
To protect my kids from harm
The others: She's to much.
Lois then embraced her family in a hug.
Lois: I never want to know a day where my family are in danger.
But if they were I'd tear whoever did it apart and kick their assssssssss.
Lois then began spinning again.
The others: She's Mrs nice lady, she's Mrs sane
Lois: That's right.
The others: She's Mrs loving wife, she's Mrs caring mum
Lois: Friends call me Lois and I'll always be there
To Protect my kids from harm
To much
The others: To much.
Everyone then started laughing as they headed for the car.
"I'm board." Peter moaned as they started driving.
"Already we've only just left the driveway." Lois replied.
"I get board very easily Lois." Peter protested. "How about we play I-Spy."
"Cool I-Spy." Chris said while clapping his hands excitedly. "Me first me first."
"Ok Chris you go first." Peter replied.
"I-Spy with my little eye somthing begining with...D." Chris said.
"Is it a Donut?" Peter asked.
"No" Chris answered.
"A dead Lois?" Stewie suggested.
Chris just shook his head.
"A dog?" Meg asked.
"Yes it's a dog it's Brian." Chris answered in a cheerful voice.
Brian just rolled his eyes.
"Oh ha, ha very funny." He said sarcastically. "How much further till we get there?"
"We're nearly there Brian." Lois replied.
"Ah good because I need to go to the bathroom." The talking dog explained. "And I don't want to do it in the car."
"Oh what a nice way to put it." Stewie remarked in a dry voice. "Could this day possibly get any worse.
Unbeknows to Stewie his day was about to go from bad to worse and soon he would come face to face with his most terrifying and deadly adversary, two miles away from the Mall stood a flat which only had two residents a rather odd couple named Helen and Dave Parks however they were nothing alike, Dave looked like a skinny Peter and was a very friendly but cowerdly man who was willing to help anyone, but his wife on the other hand was a vicious, uncaring, cruel lady, looked like an obese greesey haired Lois and who wasn't allowed to have children because she used to be a drug dealer, had a nasty temper and was absolutely off her rocker.
Helen was getting ready to go to the Mall and had told Dave she was going for some shopping and said that she was buying him a surprise, She then began to burst into song while tap dancing.
(AN Song being parodied is the Heat Miser song from The Year Without A Santa Clause.)
Helen: I'm Mrs mean lady I'm Mrs Psycho
I'm Mrs abusive Wife, I'm Mrs big fat lady
They call me Helen and I don't care what it takes
i'll get a child of my own I don't care how ha, hahahahaha
Dave then tried to follow Helen out of curiousity but got a slap in the face.
Dave: She's Mrs Mean lady she's Mrs psycho
She's Mrs abusive Wife she's Mrs big fat lady
Helen: They call Me Helen and I don't care what it takes
I'll get a child of my own
Dave: She dosn't care how wait what
Helen: Oh thank you
I never want to know a day where I'm all on my own
I'd rather have my husband and a son to call my own.
Helen (Spoken in a low whisper:) Oh and I really don't care what it takes I'll even abduct someone else's kid if I have to hahahahahahahaha.
Dave: She's Mrs mean lady, she's Mrs psycho
Helen: Sing it
Dave: She's Mrs abusive Wife she's Mrs big fat lady
Helen: They call me Helen and I don't care what it takes.
I'll get a child of my own, I don't care how
Dave: Dosn't care how.
Helen then marched right out the front door and slammed it in Dave's face.
Ten minutes later the Griffins made it to the mall and Brian went over to a bush to answer the call of nature, he then went into a nearby bar as there was a temperery ban on talking dogs in the mall after Brian had campaigned to legalise weed.
"Ok Peter I'm going to get Chris his new shoes." Lois said. "why don't you take Stewie to the Toy Store."
She then handed Stewie over to Peter.
"Oh good job Lois." The talking infant stated sarcastically. "Leaving me with the Fatman he is very irresponsible, don't you even know what happened last time."
Flashback
Peter was at the park feeding some ducks.
"Come on you ducks come and eat the bread, come on you bastards don't make me come in there." Peter angrily yelled out. "Damnit they aren't even eating the damn bread, Stewie why don't you try and Stewie, hay Stewie where are you?"
Peter then looked around and saw that Stewie had gotten his head stuck in the metal fence and was being pecked by the ducks.
"Damn you Fatman you were supposed to be keeping an eye on me." Stewie fumed. "Now look what has happened, I've got my bloody head stuck in the blasted fence and my face is being pecked at by ducks."
End Flashback
Peter and Stewie entered the Toy Store which was very big and busy full of children running about trying toys out, Peter suddenly got a childish smile on his face and began running about picking toys up every five minutes and laughing in delight, Peter was currently playing with a doll and pressing the button on its back which caused him to use his signature laugh.
"I love you Mumma." The doll said.
"Hay Fatman I'm board and I want some food because I'm hungry." Stewie demanded.
"Hay Stewie wanna go look at some computer games?" Peter asked.
Before the infant could protest Peter lifted him off the ground and carried him to the computer game section, Stewie then glanced about and saw someone who looked out of place it was a figure wearing a trench coat and they were playing with the doll while crying slightly, Stewie then swore he could see the figure looking at him with intent and then giving him a creepy and triumphant smile.
"Weirdo." The young infant remarked.
Peter got all giddy again as they explored the game section, he then saw a large Pac-Man machine and his eyes widened in delight.
"Oh boy Pac-Man I haven't played that game in ages." Peter exclaimed in delight.
He then put Stewie down on the ground and ran over to the Pac-Man machine, Peter then began playing it.
"OI FATMAN HAVEN'T YOU FORGOTEN SOMEBODY." Stewie yelled.
Peter however didn't take any notice and continued playing while giggling in a childish manner, Stewie then decided to stand next to some Xbox's while waiting for Peter to finish, Stewie also noticed that he was the only child hanging around the area.
The talking baby was just daydreaming about blowing Lois's brains out when suddenly a pair of hands reached down and grabbed him.
"What the deuce." Stewie cried out in alarm as he looked up to see the same figure from earlier holding him.
"Who the hell are you?" Stewie asked in an irritated tone.
The woman didn't answer him instead she hid Stewie under her coat.
"PET." Stewie tried to yell out as his shout was muffled.
The woman then dashed out of the Toy Store and soon out of the mall ignoring the muffled but angry cries of protest and the fists banging against her jacket.
Meanwhile Peter was engrossed in his game and had no idea what had just happened but he soon lost and got board.
"Oh well come on Stewie how about we get some lunch." Peter suggested.
When Peter didn't get a reply he turned around and was shocked when he didn't see Stewie there.
"Stewie where are you?" Peter asked in a concerned and worried voice as he started to look about.
Peter suddenly became frantic and raced all over the Toy Store trying to find his baby but he was no where to be found.
"This is bad, this is very bad." Peter cried out in horror as he ran from the Toy Store. "Lois is going to kill me.
Meanwhile Stewie was buckled in tight to the front passenger seat of a red Ford Fiesta with the woman driving it.
"I demand that you take me back now." He demanded while pointing at the woman. "This is very illegal what you're doing.
Stewie tried to hit the obese woman but he just couldn't reach.
"Calm down little fellow you're a very fussy one ain't you." The woman said with a thick Texan accent.
"Look here you Fat bitch if you don't take me back to the Toy Store right now I will destroy you." Stewie threatened her with barley concealed venom.
The woman simply ignored him and kept driving.
Meanwhile back at the mall Lois and The others were just walking out of the shoe shop when she spotted Peter running towards her and looking nervous.
"LOIS QUICK YOU'VE GOTTA HELP IT'S A DISASTER." Peter shouted out in an exasperated and despaired tone.
"What's wrong Peter?" Lois asked in a concerned voice. "You look like you lost somthing important."
"Ohhhh I've lost somthing important alright." Peter replied in a high pitched whimpering voice. "But please try not to get angry or upset when I tell you."
"Oh come on Peter surly it can't be as bad as that." Lois replied in a calm voice while smiling.
"Well you see Lois um circumstances being what they are um ah." Peter began while shaking and smiling nervously before finnaly gulping. "I've lost Stewie."
Meg and Chris just gasped in horror while Lois began growling in a furious manner.
"WHAT." Lois screamed as she marched up to Peter and grabbed him by the collar. "What do you mean you lost Stewie."
"I just have." Peter explained before being dropped on his bottom.
"Where did he go Peter where did you last see him?" Lois asked in a panicky voice.
"We were in the computer game section and I turned my back on him for ten minutes, and when I turned around he was gone." Peter explained.
"You were supposed to be keeping an eye on him Peter anything could've happened to him." Lois said as she was begining to panic.
"Oh my god!" Meg cried out. "My baby brother is gone."
"Calm down Meg, we need to split up and search for him there's a chance he could still be in here, Peter you look in the middle area, I'll look upstairs and Meg and Chris can look downstairs and if there's no sign we go to the Police and inform them." Lois said.
Although Lois was trying to remain calm she was growing increasingly worried.
Meanwhile the woman who had taken Stewie was entering a block of flats that was two miles away from the Toy Store, she then began climbing the stairs while carrying the struggling infant.
"Unhand me this instant, put me down right now." Stewie demanded in a threatning voice. "God you stink what do you wash your hair with piss?
The woman brought him into her untidy flat where her husband was waiting.
"Dave I'm home." She called out as she entered the living room
The first thing Dave got a glimpse of was Stewie.
"Who is that Helen?" Dave asked curiously.
"This Dave is our son." Helen explained while smiling happily.
Stewie was shocked when he heard this and from that moment began to plan his escape.
(AN well that was Chapter one of this redux Chapter two should be out soon, so remember to read, review and leave suggestions.